Disclaimer: Very obviously not mine.
With her busy schedule at work, packing had been one of the farthest thing from Addison Montgomery's mind.
But now that she'd completed her final shift and her goodbyes to her colleagues at Seattle Grace were all said and done, there was little left to do.
Though the hotel room she had called home for the majority of her stay in Seattle had been nice, when she'd begun reconsidering the direction her life would be taking (and more seriously thinking about moving to L.A.) she had moved into a suite large enough to hold most of the belongings she'd previously kept in New York. In fact, less than a week before she 'd had them shipped to her.
As she stood in her bedroom, looking at the assortment of half-packed boxes, she craved a cup of coffee to get her through.
"Here you go."
"Thanks, Mark."
Meredith lay in bed, silently staring at the ceiling in contemplation as she often did when there was a lot on her mind.
"What's wrong?" From behind, Derek's arm stretched across her stomach.
She thought back to the night before.
Meredith had to admit that she was slightly affected by the two and a half beers she'd downed before suggesting to Derek that they leave Joe's (and if she was being honest, the one and a half she'd had after he joined her).
She'd also forgotten that she'd been expecting Izzie and Cristina.
Though it had only been a little over a day since their conversation before "the wedding that wasn't", it seemed like much longer...since everything.
Now, they were back in the parking lot at SGH, Derek behind the wheel in Meredith's car. They hadn't spoken in the short walk from the bar across the street.
Derek spoke, presumably to fill the silence.
"My place or yours?"
Meredith almost laughed at how apparent it was that he had been searching for something...anything...to say.
Given the number of people who would soon be inhabiting almost every corner of Meredith's home, it would obviously not be the appropriate place for what would likely be a serious conversation. Not to mention the fact that he was driving Meredith's car would mean that he wouldn't have a way home.
"Uh...yours? Cristina's at the house now, too, so it's kind of packed."
"Ah, yes, she would be. How is she?"
"Surprisingly well. I guess. Well, we haven't really talked about it much, really. But she's handling it. And today was the real test and that wasn't too bad either so I think things are ...good."
"Good."
They'd made small talk for the rest of the short ride.
Ten minutes later Meredith sat on the trailer's front steps as Derek brought a glass of water for her and a beer for himself.
"I talked to Addison today," she said.
He looked surprised, and it was then she realized they hadn't had a conversation about his ex-wife in some time. Probably since they hadn't really talked in a while, but it still surprised her.
"I think she'll be happier in L.A, " he'd said. "Things have to be less complicated there...and she'll be away from Mark."
Meredith felt as if she was almost past the point of jealousy. Just as Derek had told his ex-wife (back when they were still trying to work things out) that his love for Meredith couldn't just go away, she also knew he would never stop caring about the woman he'd spent so much of his life loving.
"You know, he's not so bad."
Of course he would know much better than she.
"I know. That still doesn't mean he and Addison..." he trailed off.
Knowing this moment would not be the best for an argument about his ex-wife and ex-best friend, Meredith said nothing and instead played with the rim of her glass.
Derek went on.
"Mark is and will always be...Mark. And while I do think that he might actually care about her that doesn't mean anything between them would work."
"Isn't this all a little irrelevant considering, I think, she wasn't really interested?"
"I think I know a little too much about my ex-wife's life." He smiled into his beer.
"Maybe."
A few beats of silence passed before Derek spoke again.
"We can't keep avoiding this."
Meredith bit her lip.
"Okay, I can't keep avoiding this." he said, sitting his bottle down behind him.
"Can I go first? I probably need to say everything, before I forget."
He nodded.
"I know things have been crazy with us. Ever since the accident...something's changed. I know I told you I wasn't giving up back then but really, I was. And I really wish I could tell you everything but you'd think I was completely crazy...all I'll say is it involved Denny...and Doc...and I'm pretty sure that's why I ended up not dying. But, ever since then I've kind of realized how much I really didn't like who I was and how miserable I was and how much I didn't want to be that person anymore."
She took a deep breath.
"That's kind of what Alex moving in was. And why I eventually let Susan in and even tried things with my dad. So when the whole Susan thing happened...and the thing with my dad it kind of felt like something was telling me I wasn't supposed to be happy and have those things. That having a sane mom and a dad who cared just wasn't supposed to happen for me. Then when I talked to you I knew that was a conversation that we couldn't have until after the wedding. I thought I'd know for sure then. The wedding was supposed to tell me that people like me and Cristina can be happy, even though we're all dark and twisty."
She lowered her voice.
"And you know how that ended."
"Just because Cristina and Burke didn't work out, doesn't mean..."
"I know. I know that dealing with me hasn't been the easiest thing with all of my...baggage. But at the same time, I want you to understand and stick with me even though sometimes it seems like I'm crazy. I'm trying my hardest to let you in because that's the person I want to be...it's just so many things are telling me that I can't."
"I don't want to be the one who's always on the outside looking in on you, Meredith. I know you talk to Cristina and Izzie and Alex...and even George. Why can you confide in them and not me?"
"Because...we're different. I don't know."
"We're supposed to be different."
Silence.
"I really want to work on this." she said.
When Meredith was silent for a minute he kissed her bare shoulder and tightened his grip on her waist.
"I was just thinking...about last night." she said, rolling onto her back.
"Ah."
"This isn't going to be easy, is it?" she asked.
Izzie walked into the kitchen to find Cristina rummaging through the fridge.
"Where's Meredith?" she asked.
Cristina shrugged.
"Never came home last night."
"You don't think we should've, like, gone looking for her or anything do you?"
Cristina turned, fruit in hand.
"Go looking for...what? We know she was with McDreamy. There's probably a reason she didn't call."
"Unless..."
"Yeah, right." she hopped onto the counter.
"You never know. We never do the whole responsible bar thing, really anything could have happened."
"You mean we should start calling and babysitting and stuff? Yeah, don't think so."
Izzie poured herself a bowl of cereal, sitting down at the table. Her mind was twisting and turning in overdrive as she contemplated breaching what she knew to be a sensitive subject.
She dove in head first.
"So, what do you think you'll do about Burke's apartment?"
Cristina shrugged.
"I mean, you can't just let it sit there, right?"
"Why not?"
"Because! It's a really nice place and it doesn't make sense for it to go to waste just because Burke isn't there anymore."
Cristina narrowed her eyes.
"It's barely been two freaking days since what was supposed to be one of the biggest days of my life. Do you think you could wait, I don't know, at least a week, before you start jumping on my back about what I'm going do with the damn apartment?" she stepped off of the counter. "
"What am I going to do with it? I. DON'T. KNOW."
Seconds later, Izzie heard the slam of the front door.
"That went well."
George lay in the exact position he had the morning before.
This had been his second night's rest spent in the on-call room. He knew, now, he would have to find somewhere else to stay before the nurse's became suspicious.
Two nights would be acceptable given his hectic schedule, but anymore than that and people would at the very least have their suspicions about his deteriorating relationship with his wife.
They had managed to largely avoid one another the day before. He had luckily only seen her once from afar.
Day one, what he hoped would be the hardest part, was over.
He was re-assigned to Dr. Bailey. He wouldn't have wanted it any other way, he realized.
It would've been mortifying to be assigned to one of his friends.
The interns he was grouped with were nice enough, but he had no intentions of becoming anymore than what they were, colleagues. With any of them.
Plus, by now, they all knew that he had failed his boards.
Thankfully, Bailey didn't treat him like one of the others.
"Of course, you're different," she'd said.
He'd already demonstrated more than one procedure to the others.
He had eaten lunch with his peers and realized he missed how easy things were with Meredith, Izzie, Cristina and Alex. How much of a team they'd been.
There were things that needed to be discussed.
A brief encounter with Lexie Grey reminded him of the trouble he'd surely be in when he had a chance to tell Meredith about their encounter the day before.
"George O'Malley."
"Ms. Grey."
"So life led you...back here, I see."
"Yeah, it's actually a pretty long story"
She smiled.
"I can imagine. I'd love to hear it sometime...but," she pointed to her tray "my resident gave us a quick lunch and those guys aren't waiting for me."
"I understand. Some other time then," he glanced around, hoping none of his friends would choose this moment to appear.
"By the way, thanks for the appendectomy tip. Saved my life already today."
"I thought it would."
"See you around."
She waved goodbye as she went off to join her friends.
George cringed when he realized that he hadn't checked in with his friends since before Cristina's wedding. They'd probably expected that he at least would have dropped by when the news reached him.
He would have known where to find them.
Tonight would be the night when he'd have to face them.
Mark offered Addison her usual coffee mug.
She gestured with her free hand.
"We'll never finish, you might as well leave now. Come back whenever...tomorrow, next week, next year...I'll still be here."
"That's right, you did try drama in college didn't you?"
"Shut it." she lightly pushed his shoulder.
The night before they had met at the bar early. It had been another one of their intense conversations in which Addison somehow managed to get him to bare his soul to her, while saying very little.
His alcohol intake might also have had something to do with it.
When they'd both decided it was time to leave he had offered to help her pack, a task he knew she would've barely started.
They'd spent the entire night talking and packing the past several months of her life, but mostly talking.
At one point, very early in the morning, as they lay stretched out side by side on the floor, Addison turned to him.
"Why don't you let anyone else see you like this? This is the Mark I love."
"See me like what?"
"Like coming home with me just to help me pack. Like not hating me after you found out that I was moving away less than a day ago."
He'd shrugged it off jokingly.
But really, he felt as if she brought this side out of him.
He looked over at her contentedly sipping from her cup.
"Why don't you let anyone else see you like this?" he mimicked her question from earlier.
"Like what?" she responded, grinning.
"Like this." he pointed to her as she stood in a pair of shorts and t-shirt that probably at one time belonged to Derek.
She shrugged.
"Now this wouldn't be very professional, would it?"
"I think the patients would love it." He bumped her shoulder with his own.
Soon after they continued packing up her belongings, her handing him folded clothes to be placed into her luggage.
"I know this hasn't been the easiest year. But I'm really going to miss you, Mark." she said.
"We'll visit."
"It won't be the same."
For a moment he was afraid she might cry, but she instead placed her hand over his as she looked him steadily in the eyes.
Understatement of the century? He thought.
And wondered if he'd ever find a woman he cared about as much as he did her.
A/N: I'm aware that this is a pretty lame use of an Author's Note but can I just say...WHY are they making Lexie Grey (Chyler Leigh) a credited cast member? Why? Why? Fourteen episodes wasn't enough? Now they have to stretch her drama arc for the WHOLE SEASON? Possibly longer? This almost upsets me as much as it does that Isaiah Washington is revealing himself to be a true ass. I love Burke.
Oh, Grey's.