Teeeerribly sorry for the delay. My computer went and died, and I didn't have a chance to get it until recently, and, as you may be ale to tell, I got a bit lazy when I got back to it after the scene in the office. So... sooooo so sorry. xD

Review Replies!

XStrife: Thank you. :3 I know, I don't have many Royai out there, but I'm glad you like this one. I've always wondered myself, but there's no further need. We have it right here. xD At least Prodigious's view in my words. xD Here you go, I hope you didn't wait too long.

Dailenna: xD Well then, I'm certainly glad that it didn't make you laugh. xD Thanks for reviewing and I hope it is adequate. If not, you could always tell me how to fix it.

Azilie: xD Really? Here you go.

Splenda: xD You'll have to do a lot of catching up, I'm updating like there is no tomorrow. And! Finally, a Royai fic for you! I hope you like.

Riza: Yay! I'm glad you liked it! Yes, I'm working hard on it, and I'll use a few different elements from the roleplays you and I did and the ones Riza two and I did. I hope you enjoy it! You have to come back on though! WE MISS YOU! And Splenda too!

LoyalSoul: Thank you. I'm glad you like. Here's your update and I do apologize for taking so long.

Bizzy: Yes, there's an entire fic! xD Aren't you happy? Thank you, and she does. Maybe she'll get one?

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. I don't own the basic plot, I got that from Prodigious, with her permission, I am making a royai fic out of it. If you would like to ask her, PM me and I will give you the known neomail I have.

Pairings: Royai

NOTE: I know... I know... the corny letter takes up more space than the other scenes, probably combined. Shush, that was the point of this chapter.

Dear, Hawkeye…

How to say such delicate words to you without them sounding… cliché. I never was a man for small talk, as you knew quite well yourself. A little forewarning, I am writing this as the thoughts come to me, so perhaps this will be a bit out of order. I fear I don't have time to fix it before it will be needed. That being the case, I should probably get the most important thing out of the way before hand.

How long have we known each other? Yet, I haven't been able to learn what makes Riza Hawkeye tick. I prided myself in those things, to be able to wrap any man or woman that I desired around my finger, but only you seemed impervious to it. Or were you? Were you just like Teacher, your father, and just hiding what you were? What you felt? I wish I knew the answer, but I don't think I will ever be able to break through that shield you put up.

This may be sudden, and I plan on asking you tonight, at this festival thing, but knowing you, I'll probably never get the chance. You're much too focused on getting through today. It was always how you were, how your father was. I know… that if you're reading this, that this would mean nothing, and there's nothing that can be done, since… well, I write this letter if my death should occur. In my desk, in the middle drawer, there's a ring. My mother gave it to my sister, who gave it to her daughter in turn. When she passed away, I suppose being the last of us gave it to me. I know, it's stupid, leaving it there, but I know how you get, and no matter what had happened to me in the past, I wasn't going to give up. I'm a persistent bastard, remember? I want you to wear that ring, pass it through your bloodline, and remember the ties between you and I.

Secondly, I do know that I left you almost everything in my will. Of course. I wrote that shortly after Hughes' death. I expected that it would all end shortly after him. That I would try and bring him back, or the military would come for me next, really, I couldn't say what I thought was going to happen. That is all stuff that I wanted you to have, no matter what anyone says. Whether you sell the house, the things inside, or keep them to yourself, all that matters is that you have them.

Thirdly, but one of the most important ones, is all about the alchemical research I left to you. I left all of my important notes, my decoding, my Flame Alchemy notes, even my human transmutation notes. I want you to destroy them. No good ever came out of any of it. You told me to finish the line with us, so I burned that symbol, the salamander circle on your back. As long as you were happy. So I know this will please you as well. I don't want others following down the path I did, at least not with my help. I refuse to be the cause of another's pain again.

Of course, you already hurt, don't you? And Havoc, Breda, Fuery and Falman. Maybe even Edward… then again, maybe I'm putting too much into this, and you don't. I can never tell what's on your mind. I can only speculate that, and while it brings back the memories of then, I don't think it's all that far off to say that it's possible.

I could continue this until my hand falls off, and you know how much that would take; I've been signing papers since I achieved the rank of Lieutenant Colonel after the war. But…I think I hear you getting your guns ready to blow down the door to my study, and I really would like to keep that in top condition.

There are so many things that I want to tell you. As you know me, I am an excellent player of the language, and I could sit here and write a million ways to describe it in beautiful detail, but you aren't the kind of woman for that. To put it plain and simple, I didn't realize how much I needed you. When Maes died, I thought I lost it all. I forced myself to hide it all, but it came rushing out, you knew it. That was one of the reasons I appreciated you, but protected you. What would I do if I lost both of you?

I won't say it's love. You'd probably come and kill me all over again. I will say I do care deeply for you, or rather, did, since I can no longer show such emotions by the time you receive this. I knew for some time this was coming… I must pay for my sins… Bradley's death, Maes' untimely demise, those I killed in Ishbal and everything that surrounded it. I have to carry my sins. I can't even accept the feelings of loyalty that you all have given to me, not fully. Tell me… what is it you feel towards me? Is it merely the affection that I protect you? A professional relationship? A guilty conscience? Or is it something else?

You can't answer, I suppose. Well, I didn't expect an answer, really. These last few years, you knew it as well. I'm sure you were questioning yourself…how was I able to survive such extensive injuries. But laying there, I felt your hands, heard your strong voice, calling out to me. It seemed to defy the god of death, bat away the little gremlins.

This is all I ask of you, Riza Hawkeye. I ask you to live, not take my dream, not take my stupidity, not take my place. I just want you to be happy, to live free and on your own. Move away from Central. Find a new place to live. I may not be in heaven, though, for some strange reason, and though I don't believe in God, I find it to be a comforting thought. You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be. But, I wouldn't want to end up there. I couldn't handle the faces that still haunt my nightmares. I don't deserve to be in their presence.

I did leave you another surprise, other than the wedding ring in my desk. It's in the closet in my room. You should wear it at least /once/. I did put a lot of work into it. I will never sew again. And no one's to know about that.

Always Yours,

Roy Mustang,

General,

Ladies' Man,

And

Flame Alchemist

"You forgot womanizer. Lazy. Bastard…" She sighed, leaning back in the chair at his desk, amber eyes staring down at the letter in her hands. Of course, it was Roy. It had hints of him all over, even in the seriousness of it. How could it be that he could be so calm with the prospect of death looming over him? He said he knew it was coming. He seemed so peaceful when she had held him…

Perhaps it was just time.

Wedding ring… She felt the heat in her face drain away that had been there since she started reading. She wiped her eyes, scooting back in the chair. Riza had spent the night here. It was go home to an empty apartment, or go home to Roy's where Hayate was waiting. She wasn't ready to go to either one, so she stayed in one of the other places she wasn't ready to see, though it was something that she had to face at one point or another. Especially with the thought that there was a ring waiting for her.

She opened the drawer, still the same as the last time she had seen it, refusing to allow anyone to go in it. She herself wasn't ready. But… the call of the ring was too much. Inside rested a small box, one that a person would expect to keep small jewelry in, and she picked it up. How long had that been in there? She hadn't seen it when she looked for a pen…

The ring was simple, perfect for one with delicate hands, a small stone, whether it was a diamond or not had yet to be determined, since she had no idea how to figure that out. Riza wasn't one for flashy jewelry. The gem, as she was going to call it for now, was oval shaped, little stones spouting off on each side, about three each. The band was a simple, silver one, thin, but large enough to be a nice reminder on her finger.

Instinctively, she pulled it from the box and slipped on her left ring finger, as he meant it for, noting how it fit so wonderfully, how it seemed to shine brightly, even in the darkness of the office. She gave a fond smile at it, fanning her fingers out to study it, raising her hand and admiring it. Whether it was real or not wasn't what drew her to it. It was from Roy himself, a beautiful reminder that he didn't think of her as just a lowly subordinate. He cared about her enough to surrender one of his most precious possessions, even if it was because of death. She couldn't help but think that he would give it to her if he had survived.

She sighed. Riza was drained. Tomorrow, they'd be meeting at Roy's place to hand out his things and then getting back to their normal lives. She didn't think it was honorable to simply do that, but going back to his place was going to be hard enough. Parting with everything that had his scent on it…

"Taisa… Taisa come back…"

The seven of them gathered in Roy's living room, silence ensuing. The lawyer hadn't shown up yet, but they silently thanked that fact. Once he showed up, and everything had been handled, they would feel obligated to leave the man's house. It was painful to sit there, but parting for good, his things distributed like that of some dead-beat who hadn't paid their bills... It was a sad little reminder that he wasn't coming back.

Havoc had decided he couldn't wait, standing an moving outside to light a cigarette. Elysia was with them, and they all knew how much Roy hated the smoking, to do it in his domain was stupid. Not to mention that they had a bit of superstition and the prospect of Roy's ghost attacking just didn't seem all that appealing. Yes, he could see it now, lighting up his cigarette only for the flames to spread and light him on fire too. The pyro would strike again...

Elysia was playing with her dolls to keep herself occupied, Fuery joining her on the floor. It never hurt to do something to take your mind off it. Things just didn't settle right, and this was such a disgusting feeling. Dirty... Riza felt dirty and sick, sitting there waiting for this man. If it weren't for the fact that her Colonel -- General, whatever they preferred to call him, she would have been at home or the office, searching for ways to get over the loss.

Black Hayate pined at his master's feet, reaching up with a paw to place it on her leg, asking if she was all right. He knew she wouldn't approve, but his Lady's happiness was above the punishment that he was sure that would ensue. Whatever would make her smile again, it was his duty to bring it up.

Riza's fingers curled through the fur on the dog's head, wrapping around his ears, her means of distracting herself. Distractions were absolutely wonderful at that time. She knew that Hayate couldn't get used to being allowed to do this, but for now, anything that kept her mind focused on something other than divvying up his belongings was better than nothing. Facing the problem would bring pain. She wasn't going to run, otherwise she wouldn't have shown up, but she was not going to sit there and waste her life away thinking about it...

"It seems everyone is here." There was that dreadful, monotonous voice she didn't really want to her. Annoying man... "Let's get started then, shall we?"

The attorney had been sent off about an hour ago after everything had been appointed and ready to be sent home, not caring once he had his payment in hand. Riza stood silently in the kitchen with Glacier, managing to have survived this long. Actually, it was quite easier than she thought. It was hard, sure, but she thought she would have lost her composure long ago, when the proceedings began, and here she was, offering a smile to little Elysia, as if the days were just as they once had been. Crying over a foolish man was not going to bring him back.

"Elysia, why don't you carry the plates out? I'll get the milk." Glacier chided gently, handing the plate to her daughter while her hands set about, pouring bottles of milk into glasses. "Riza, would you mind helping me for a moment? I know you're rather busy..."

"It's nothing." Hawkeye answered, grabbing a few of the glasses of milk, setting aside the task of cooking the duck that Breda brought by for their memorial dinner and took them out to the others. There were four men out there, she was not about to put her hands on anything food, not when they were hungry. She'd learned from years of working with them that they were ravenous without a midday snack.

"Who knew Hawkeye was a house wife?" Breda muttered, delving into the cookies and snatching a glass of milk quickly. It'd already been made clear that they would not drink with Elysia around.

Havoc snorted. "Yeah, house wife and deck jockey by day, by night a bounty hunter."

"Really?" Fuery looked up from the picture he was coloring.

"Enough."

The three men grinned, Falman completely out of the loop, reading one of the books from Roy's library, enjoying it rather much.

Riza turned with a repressed smile of her own, and went back to her cooking. She knew a few things, someone had to make sure her father ate. This just so happened to be one of the few favorites he requested.

"Oh... Jean, you shouldn't eat that!"

"What?"

"Jean dropped his ahses on a cookie!" Elysia cried, running into the kitchen like a dutiful daughter.

"Havoc..." Riza stepped around, the stoic expression in place, hand falling on Elysia's head.

Blue eyes blinked rapidly. "Right!" He stood and went for the closest window.

"He... could have at least used the door..." Hawkeye would never remember how she survived with Roy and his men for so long...

It was well after midnight when Havoc left, the last of their group to depart, with the promise he would see her at work on Monday if he couldn't drop by at another time. Yes, that was how it was going to be. They would have to move on, watch someone else sit in his chair, tell them to fetch them some food, rely on them to make his day go smoother... she wasn't ready, but if she protested it, it would do nothing. It would have to happen one day, and putting it aside was a cowardly thing to do. Riza always prided herself on her strength. True, everyone needed a chance to break down, but she had hers and it was time to move on.

The metallic wastebasket that had been placed outside, fuel within and set aflame burned brightly in the dark night, reflecting emotionless depths. This was one part of the past she was quite glad to get rid of, watching the Flame Alchemist's notes go up in flames. Ironic, really, the last thing that made the Flame... dying by flame. Her personal wants didn't matter. This was what the world needed. And, dare she say it, it was what she needed.

The notes that Roy had taken when she explained her father's technique, the notes he had made, his tweeks in the circle, his ways to make it work and impress the judges during the exams. His basic alchemy, things her father had taught him, types of alchemy he must have been working on on his own... the list went on, things she never really knew.

And then... it came to last box. It wasn't labeled, but seeing as how she glimpsed over everything, it seemed to be early works and Flame notes. His codes were difficult to decipher, using date descriptions and girl's names to hide what was really in those sheets, but she got the jist of it. Her hand delved inside, lifting one of the stacks held together by a clip, scribbled all over, paint in splotches. This must have been what he had been working on, that theory he mentioned.

'Cecilia's hands circled around, forming perfection while simply standing silent among the lines of people, winding through, almost in a formation of stars. They seemed to want a sort of line tonight, and to be honest, I found it intriguing myself. It was then that the women around began a sort of contest of numbers, trying to best each other, probably to win some heart. I found it rather exhilarating, to be sure.'

She raised a brow, glancing back to the fire that was slowly dying out. Her eyes burned, and it was obviously time to go in. She could deal with these and make sure they burned in the morning. The day had been long, stressful, and full of babysitting men at least five times Elysia's age. She wasn't about to push herself anymore. Besides, in her dreams... he was still right there, even sleeping beside her...