7. Honesty is the word of the day

It was 4.57 pm on Tuesday afternoon. Rory was waiting for Logan at the Café Sun. She had a coffee in front of her. She had considered if she should have waited until Logan got there before she ordered but had decided against it. Coffee relaxed her and at the moment she needed it. She had gone through what she was going to say many times in her head but she knew that when Logan was sitting there across from her, she wouldn't be able to follow her well planed speech.

Exact five o'clock Logan walked into the Café Sun. He saw Rory sitting in a table in far corner of the coffee house. He took a deep breath and walked to her.

"Hi" He said simply.

"Hi. I'm clad you came." Rory said with a nervous smile.

Logan sat down and gave his order to a waitress who stopped by to table. They sat quietly for a while.

"So what you wanted to talk about?" Logan asked after he had received the coffee cup he had ordered.

"I have… well the thing is… I wanted to…" Rory stammered. She knew this was the time to be honest so she needed to say what she wanted Logan to know. "I know I have hurt you a lot and that I don't deserve you after what I have done but I hate not being with you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

"That's kind of hard to believe because six months ago your career was more important to you than us being together. I don't remember your exact words but you said something like being married to me would prevent you from having the career you want." Logan said more harshly than he had intended. He regretted his words as soon as he saw tears forming in her beautiful blue eyes. Even after everything she had done to him, he didn't want to make her cry.

"That was a lie. I wasn't even ready to admit to myself why I turned you down. And I was less ready to admit it to you." Rory said.

"So you don't think that being married to me means doors being closed for you?" Logan asked.

Rory shook her head. "No, I don't think so and I never really thought so. And I wanna tell you the real reasons now. But I want you to know I don't think this way anymore. This is what I thought then. Now I think my reason were just my stupid insecurities."

Logan nodded but didn't say anything so Rory continued: "First reason was that I was afraid that it wouldn't work and we would start hating each other. You see my mom always failed with every relationship she had. I have seen her broke two engagements and her marriage with my dad only lasted for three months. Now I know it was a stupid reason because how can you succeed if you don't even try. And if you look for example my grandparents, you can see what a marriage can be at its best. They have been together many decades and they are still happy and very much in love."

"So you turned me down because you didn't believe that we could be happy in a long run?"

"Actually that's another stupid thing. I never thought about us getting old together. All I though was failed relationships around me and that made me insecure about marriage and life long commitment in general." Rory said in shame.

"Why didn't you talk to me about all this? When I first thought about asking you to marry me, I had my insecurities too. My parents aren't exactly the greatest example about functional married couple. But then I realised that we were nothing like them." Logan told her.

"I'm sorry. I was an idiot."

"So that was the only reason for you to say no?" Logan asked.

"No. There was another reason."

"And what was that?"

"My mother"

"What? When I asked her permission to ask you to marry me, she said yes." Logan couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"She never said anything when I asked her what she thought I should do but I saw it in her eyes. She wanted me to say no." Rory explained.

"You said no because that was what she wanted you to say?"

"Not entirely. It was also that we had been the Gilmore girls for my whole life and I wasn't ready to give that up." Rory said feeling even more embarrassed by her own behaviour.

"I don't understand. Was it the whole moving here thing?" Logan asked even more confused.

"No. It wasn't that. I haven't lived with my mom for many years and I didn't feel like I needed to be close to her physically. It was that if we had gotten married you would have been my closest relative not her. It's like, when you start a new job and you have to give your emergency info, I wouldn't give her name and number anymore." Rory said and wanted to disappear from earth. She was so ashamed but she wanted Logan to know all this.

"I would have never tried to pull you away from your mother." Logan said.

"I know that. None of my reasons had anything to do with you. I don't want you to think you did something wrong. It was all me. I just let my stupid insecurities and other irrelevant things to affect my decision and in the end I made the wrong one." Rory admitted.

"What do you mean?" Logan was almost sure that Rory just admitted that she should have said yes.

"I'm unhappy, Logan. A week after graduation I got what I thought was my dream job. I got to follow Barrack Obama around the country. But it turned out I it wasn't the thing that made me happy. I missed having a home and I missed you. After almost six months I quit my job and got a new one here. All my life I had dreamed about being an oversee corresponder and suddenly I knew that wasn't my thing. It felt empty. My friend did a test for me to help me figure out what I want for my life. In that test I had to imagine my life ten years from now. Do you know what I saw? I saw us in a backyard of a house with two kids." Rory couldn't stop the tears falling down her cheeks anymore. "That was exactly what we would have had if I had said yes."

Logan didn't know what to say. Even in his wildest dreams he never had thought that he could hear Rory saying what she had said today. He handed a tissue to Rory. He knew that this was his moment to be honest too.

"I want to be honest to you too, so I have to tell you some things that might make you feel bad but you have to know." Logan started.

Rory nodded and said: "I deserve to feel bad."

"Since the break-up I have thought that I wasn't good enough for you. I tried so hard to be but I failed."

"You were too good for me. I was the one who didn't deserve a man like you."

"When I moved here I was miserable. You broke my heart and on top of that I had to live alone in a house I had chosen for us. The avocado tree in the backyard reminded me of you. Everything reminded me of you. I started working like a crazy man to forget about you but it wasn't easy. I was lonely and I still am. The job was all I had left. My friends and Honor are far away. I had just left the family company and my relationship with my parents was kind of broken because of that. I had counted on you. You were the foundation of my life and suddenly you weren't there anymore. I felt like my whole world had collapsed." Logan's words made Rory's tears flow even faster. "And the reasons you gave me when you turned me down made me feel like it was my fault that you wouldn't marry me. You really hurt me, Rory."

"I know and I regret it a lot. You were also my foundation. I belonged with you. Not in Stars Hollow with my mom. Not in campaign trail with other reporters or countless of motel rooms. My life is empty without you. I would do anything to turn back time to that moment we stand in the courtyard of Yale. Instead of saying no and ruining life for both of us, I would say yes." Rory told Logan.

They sat in the silence for a while until Rory started speaking again. "I want you back, Logan. I know that it is lot to ask after what I have done, but I'm willing to do anything if you just give me a chance. I want you to know that I'm serious about this. If you asked me right now to elope with you, I wouldn't doubt a second before saying yes. You can make all the rules and I will follow them. Just give me a chance. Give us a chance."

"I don't know, Rory. A lot has happened since the proposal. Even if we both wanted to, we might not be able to go back where we were." Logan said.

"But it's also possible that we could be happy. Someday we might be living together in a house with a large backyard and have a few kids running around." Rory pleaded.

"I have to think about this." Logan said and stood up. "I contact you when I'm ready."

"Okay. Take all the time you need." Rory said.

Logan nodded and started to walk away. Suddenly he turned around and said. "By the way thank you for taking care of me last Friday."

"You don't need to thank me for that. It was least I could do." Rory told him before he left.

Rory looked his divergent figure and hope this wasn't the last time she saw him.

AN: I have already the next chapter ready. I post it maybe tomorrow. I think you are going to love it… But tell me first what do you think about this one???