Music from the Heart

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters. I also do not own Utada Hikaru or her song used in this chapter.
Chapter 06: Wait and See

It has been a few weeks since the incident with Sesshoumaru. Every day I add a piece of the song I'm putting together just for him. I have yet to reveal him my piece.

There are times when I wonder if our band can make it to first place. I wonder… if I will ever get my sight back.

"You look a little spaced out," a voice interrupts my recollection. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, Sesshoumaru, sorry," I bow. "I think… I should go."

"…Hn."

"What?"

"You're always leaving early lately."

'That's because a week ago I was threatened yet again,' I think. 'I'm sorry, I do enjoy my time with you…'

"There's something you're not telling me," his voice was very, very close.

"I'm… I'm not lying!" I stutter. 'I'm really bad at this.' I get up and run towards the door. But before I can reach the doorknob, his cold hand grasps my wrist.

"Hn."

"You're not playing fair!" I cry. I never cry… yet I can feel tears brimming in my eyes.

"Stubborn." And then he does something unexpected: he lets go.

As I walk down the hall, tears are trailing down my cheeks.

"Rin-chan!" Sango calls from down the corridor. "What're you doing here?"

"I was just getting here from my off-period," I lie. "My eyes sting a little, I don't' know why."

"Was he being a jerk to you?"

"Huh?" Sango hugs me, and suddenly I feel like telling her everything. "What are you talking about?"

"You're always going into the music room in your off-period. Almost everyone knows the music playing in there is from Sesshoumaru. You've been hanging around him, right?"

I nod slowly. "He inspires me."

The older girl chuckles, "Yes, I'm sure everyone can find inspiration from him. But, maybe it's better if you didn't hang around him so much? He does have a reputation for hurting girls."

"What…?" I don't believe what she says. Sesshoumaru would never hurt anyone.

"Not physically," she says quickly. "Emotionally. That's why… you're crying, isn't it?"

"How does Sango know how I feel?"

"You know, as the tough girl around here some people tell me their troubles. I guess I'm like a big sister or something," she giggles. "It's just a warning, maybe there's something different he sees in you."

'I want to be someone different,' I think. 'I've never felt this way before…'

"Rin wrote a new song!" Ayame chimes to the band. "I wrote all the music parts to it." I hear a shuffling of papers, and I assume that she is giving them out.

"Looks… interesting," Miroku comments. "How long did it take you to write it?"

"I've had it written… for a while." Another lie. I had written it the day I walked out on Sesshoumaru. I needed to sing this… because I feel like I have to.

"Shall we try it out?" Kagome suggests. "We need three songs compiled by the talent show."

"We have Sango's song from the first time, right?" I inquire. "And now we have this song."

"Well, I don't really like the song I wrote," Sango laughs nervously. "It's just for back-up… I mean I just threw it together."

I nod in understanding. "I do have another piece written up. Let's start this one first?"

The song begins with the keyboard by Kouga and special effects provided by Miroku.

"Is all for you? I'd give it all for you," I sing softly.

"Hmm, going through a set back shouldn't be easier than speaking of it, should it?

Wait. If you can understand a little better, surely a better rain will fall.

"Stubborn." -- You called me that.

Sometimes feeling lonely is ok, because we will ride on the answer we came up with together and pass through the cloudy sky."

"Un-spinning tires are lined up before our eyes, but who is it who is stepping on the accelerator? What a contradiction."

All the girls join me in the chorus.

"Oh baby wait and see. Occasionally, even pain is good.

It's surely because there's risk involved that there's meaning to believing.

It's impossible not to stray. Oh baby can't you see?

I'm waiting is not my forte, but you see, it's too early to decide.

Please don't believe in divination or do anything of that sort!"

I return back to my solo.

"I'm wanting in love to my left side, that's why I need you.

Do you intend to keep protecting yourself with that chilling attitude?"

"Please give me the power to accept the immutable, and to change the unacceptable."

We return back to the chorus, sometimes the girls echo, sometimes they sing on their own. Eventually we reach the part where we all sing many different things together, but somehow the pieces end up together.

"So baby wait and see. There's no such thing as a wound that won't heal.

It's surely because there's risk involved that it hurts like love... perhaps.

It's not that bad."

"Maybe it would be easier if I fled to somewhere far away.

But that wouldn't make sense, because no matter where I go I'm still me."

"If the key is too high, it's ok to lower it.

The song has the strength not to change.

Distress is only one passing point.

Like a bracelet that's too big, things will slide into place."

"Don't believe until you see all there is to see..."

That night I lie in my bed, wondering if Sango knew what was about. Sometimes I wish that Sesshoumaru heard the song I sang today.

I haven't been to the music room for a few days; his fan club seems to be happy.

I rub my ankle, where there is a bruise caused by one of the girls who had threatened me before. I suppose visiting him has a price.

I wonder how he is doing?

At the end of school the next day, I travel to the music room. I am almost certain he would not be there. I walk into the cold room and count the steps towards the piano bench. When I find the seat, I sit and take a deep breath.

'I guess he really isn't here,' I think sadly. I press a key to find where I was. I begin to play the song that he had played for me… the song I wrote lyrics to.

"Once in a while you are in my mind," I sing quietly. "I think about the days that we had
and I dream that these would all come back to me. If only you knew every moment in time
nothing goes on in my heart, just like your memories. How I want here to be with you once more…"

I suddenly stop, my fingers twitching. 'These words… I've never sung them before.'

"Are you finished yet?"

"Eh?" I fall backwards. "Who's there?"

"Kagura… I guess you're too insignificant to notice who I am."

'Shoot… she doesn't know about my sight, does she?'

"Are you deaf too?" she spoke, annoyed. "You're using up my time. I'm supposed to be practicing with Sesshoumaru right now. Please leave."

"Oh… o-okay," I mumble, picking myself up. "Sorry."

I walk towards the door, or at least, what I thought was the door.

"Ehn!" my forehead is pressed back, stopping me from walking any further. "What the…?"

"Hn."

I gulp. "Sesshoumaru-sama, sorry. I'm leaving now."

"You were about to run into the door frame," he whispers in my ear, and then pushes me in the right direction. When I am met with a warmer air I know I am no longer in the music room.

"Thank you," I say, unsure if he had heard me. I reach for my cell phone, feeling the Braille numbers to call Shippo.

"Shippo, you like someone, right?" I ask meekly as we both walk home together.

"Uh… maybe…"

"What does it feel like?"

"Mm…" Shippo takes a moment. "It feels… weird."

"… That doesn't help."

"Ahaha," he laughs nervously. "I don't really know. It's just a fuzzy feeling."

"A fuzzy feeling?"

"Yeah… a good, warm, fuzzy feeling."

'I miss hearing your songs, Sesshoumaru-sama,' I think to myself tiredly. 'It gives me… a warm feeling inside.'

Author's Notes: Wow, I am SOOOO SORRY that I have not updated. I guess I lost track of this fic because I was working on Shades of Gray and Seven (Digimon fics). I also have been working on college applications and scholarships… Damn senior year. Got accepted to 3 colleges, rejected to 1, out of 6 colleges I've applied for. I'm digressing; I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I will try and update now that I am done with all these applications. Please review! Also, the songs I used were by Utada Hikaru, titled "Wait and See" and part of "First Love." I used the english version for both parts since they have more meaning, lol.