Disclaimer: FLCL and all associated ideas, characters, and images are the property of Gainax and Production I.G. All use on my part of the aforementioned is purely for entertainment purposes only and result in no profit on my part. I will not delay in removing this story should the property's owners request it.

FOOLY COOLY DUO

"What is it?" Naota queries in his typical monotone. Below him, mostly hidden by a conveniently placed shadow, is a messy pile of unrecognizable blob. He doesn't shift his gaze to Kitsurubami or Amarao on either side of him.

"It's the deadest corpse I have ever seen." Kitsurubami offers, quietly pleased that she couldn't get a decent look at the puddle in the darkened corridor.

Amarao, handguns still in hand, readjusts his sunglasses and explains. "It was a spy, a human spy to be exact." Behind him countless men with guns in suits and glasses nod in agreement, barrels still smoking.

"How did he get like this?"

Every head in the rooms turns to look at its neighbors, perplexed. Furiously indignant, Amarao waves his guns and yells "You can't be serious! You didn't just see that?!"

"I dozed off! All I remember was all these jackasses coming out of the woodworks and then the world exploding." Naota winces with the recent memory, clutching his aching head.

The suits all nod again in tandem, they did indeed pour out of every orifice the building has to offer. They're trained to do so with just the merest signal from their commander.

Amarao happily explains the situation for the spectators. "I've suspected this one for quite some time, but earlier I caught him communicating with HQ. I followed him here afterwards; he obviously planned something for you, Naota." The commander tucks his handguns back into his jacket and scratches the back of his head. "I wonder what exactly that plan was…."

"Well we'll never know now!" Naota jabs his finger at the source of attention angrily, "He's tomato paste! He was…was…"

"…struck down with the mighty hammer of Surveillance Branch!" Kitsurubami couldn't contain her pent up excitement after seeing such a spectacle of gunplay. She poses ridiculously and fires her fingers around, simulating the gundown. "Pow. Pow. Krchow!" After a moment she realizes all eyes in the room are on her. She shrinks down and blushes with shame.

Amarao eyebrows raise during Kitsurubami's outburst and he waits for her to finish before speaking again. "Right. Well this only solidifies something I've been considering for some time now. So it's as good a time as any to give you the lowdown." He takes a moment to let the drama sink in. "Headquarter's knowledge of this facility and its workings is too extensive. It's no longer safe for Naota to stay here."

His companions snap their heads away from the corpse, obviously shocked. Kitsurubami is the first to speak. "But sir! This is the only secure location on the planet that's under our control, where could we possibly take him?" Worry creases her brow and bleeds into her eyes.

"That's actually not quite true. There is another location under our control. Its miles away from here and someplace where he would be free to roam city streets again without fear of enemy notice." The commander glances at the young man in question and his face pales at the deathly glare he's receiving. He rubs the back of his head and laughs nervously, "Hah, well free to roam anywhere that's wheelchair accessible that is."

"I hate you." The youth spares no mercy.

Amarao slumps and manages to squeak out. "Yeah...I know." He expected none.

Kitsurubami watches on with arms crossed, growing annoyed. "So where exactly is this magical paradise Commander?""

At the prospect of the subject resuming again, Amarao's face brightens. "Oh well you should know better than anyone here Kitsurubami," he grins wickedly. "It's the third largest armory in the country after all."

At this Kitsurubami seems perplexed. She pauses to look at the floor and think. After a moment she looks up again, still confused. "But sir my apartment is the third largest….oh dear god." Her face is the picture of shock and outrage. Fists whip to their sides, as if to better project the cry of rage to come. "Commander Amarao you can't possibly be serious!"

Her superior waves his hands in a futile attempt to calm her fury. "Now, now Lieutenant, desperate times call for desperate, if unorthodox, methods. The facts are that no faction could ever suspect us to return him to the city, nor house him in your apartment."

Kitsurubami was not convinced, in fact, she was still fuming. Below her, Naota stews for similar reasons, as well annoyance for being left out of the discussion entirely.

Amarao starts to sweat, but continues nonetheless. "Listen, your home is as secure as any military fallout shelter, is easily defensible, has multiple emergency exit points, and more combined weaponry than god's army. It has zero military presence and thus doesn't draw any attention from orbital surveillance. It's the fact it isn't a secret that makes it so perfect! I mean, you can look it up in the employee directory for Christ's sake! We would be idiots to hide him there, it holds no significance at all, and that's why it's perfect." He finishes his spiel with a shaky grin, trying to judge their reaction.

They both glare daggers at him, but Kitsurubami speaks first. "Naota's right. I hate you too." No significance! How dare he?! It's significant to me!

The Commander falls to the floor, exasperated. When he finally speaks, it's into the tile, muffled. "Regardless of your opinions, this is a direct order from a superior officer in a time of war. A chair's been strapped to the top of your Polski Fiat, and the kid should be walking again soon anyway. I order you to escort your charge to your domicile discreetly and immediately."

"But sir! An unmarried and uninvolved man and woman living under the same roof? It's completely inappropriate! It's scandalous! It's…it's…"

"…a plot line for a ridiculous love comedy." Naota chimes in darkly.

"Exactly! Wait, a what comedy?"

"Enough!" Amarao roars into the floor, his patience spent. "You've been given a direct order Lieutenant, and any further argument will be considered grounds for treason! Now GO!" He jabs his finger down the hall to emphasize his point."

Mouths agape, they both appear ready to argue the point more, but simultaneous give in to their fate. The pair roll away in defeat, embarrassed and thoroughly upset at the sudden change of status quo. Kitsurubami, feeling rebellious, wastes little time in breaking the silence. She whispers into Naota's ear. "He's full of shit you know, he wouldn't try me for littering, let alone treason."

"I heard that!"

Before Kitsurubami can retort, Naota beats her to the punch. He turns his head and roars back down the corridor. "I heard they have an opening for a Commander at the bottom of the Pacific! Care to give it a look?!" He receives silence in return as he settles back into his chair.

Kitsurubami smiles in appreciation. Even if he can't see it, he knows it's there. "He's afraid of you, you know."

"I like to call it respect." He waves his hand dismissively.

"Call it what you like, whatever it is, you've got a lot of it."

Naota snorts. "I'll take that as a compliment." Not feeling entirely comfortable being the topic of the conversation he decides to turn the tables. "So when's the last time you've actually been home?"

She lifts a finger to her chin and takes a second to close her eyes and ponder. "About two weeks ago, you were sleeping and I needed to pick some things up and clean." She pauses to consider this. "Wow that seems like a long time."

"Yeah it is, workaholic much?"

She laughs and socks him lightly upside the head. "It can't be helped, you're a 24 hour job!"

Naota crosses his arms and feigns a scowl. "Well I'm sorry I'm such a burden."

His companion grins mischievously and guides her charge around a corner into a better lit hallway, windowless doors on both sides. She reaches down and pinches his cheek, cackling with satisfaction as he flops up and down in discomfort and surprise. "Aww don't be that way Mr. frumpy face."

"Gahhh ok! Ok! Ok!" When the young man is finally freed from her torturous grasp, he rubs his sore cheek. After a moment, Naota decides to voice a justification that he'd been working on in his head. "You know, it won't be that awkward." He blushes, obviously nervous of finishing the thought. "I mean, we've been sleeping in the same room for a long time now." Gah! Poorly phrased!

Kitsurubami rubs the back of her head bashfully, too on-the-spot to comfortably tease him for his statements. "That's not what I'm worried about. It's just that my home isn't really…normal. I've never had a guest before." Catching the confused look on Naota's face from the side, she still finds herself unable to voice her reservations. "It's well…like…you'll see."

She slumps in defeat, and both remain comfortably quiet for most of the trip. As they approach the main doors of the complex however, Kitsurubami puts a voice to some questions she's been having over the whole event.

"Naota?"

"Yes?"

"You do know what city I live in right?"

"I have a good guess."

"Does that make you nervous?"

Naota mulls this over. It's been such a very, very long time. It seems a lifetime has passed since he last walked those streets, sat beneath its bridges. His old life had been left to rot by that vending machine, has any part of it survived all this time? Should he be nervous? What could possibly be in store for him when he goes back? Back to his hometown. Back to…

Mabase.

The doors swing wide open.

And he is blinded by the light.

Are You a Dog Person? Or a Cat Person?

Naota has little trouble climbing into the passenger side seat, even without Kitsurubami's aid. While she busies herself with the straps holding another wheelchair to the top of the vehicle, he manages to stand with the aid of the door and stagger his way inside. Pleased with the condition of the ropes, Kitsurubami shuts the passenger side door and with her hands on her hips she examines her handiwork. Satisfied, she takes a look at the old wheelchair and grins. With a swift, well aimed kick the chair flies across the parking lot. She doesn't even bother to watch it collide with Amarao's cheesy black Cadillac, but a crunch and a bang tell her the damage was satisfactory.

Kitsurubami slams her door shut beside her and places the keys in the ignition. She turns to her companion and smirks. "That'll teach the bastard to stop putting us in increasingly uncomfortable situations."

Naota's face doesn't betray his feelings of the event either way. "It might just further incur his wrath."

The Lieutenant's smirk grows into a mischievous grin as she starts the car. "Well if it's war he wants, he's sending us to the wrong place." She giggles with mirth at his perplexed reaction, but her insides are cold with dread. What's he going to think of me when he sees? And on that note she starts the car and whips out of her reserved parking space with an expert yank of the wheel.

In a matter of minutes the DII building that had been Naota's home for the weeks since his rescue becomes a dot on the horizon. He resists the temptation to turn around and watch it fade into the distance, settling instead for laying his head against the window and saying his silent goodbyes to the rearview mirror. His insides twist with a silent fear and sadness at the loss of his refuge and he attempts to suppress a shudder.

However Kitsurubami's keen soldier eyes do not fail to spot his movement nor his gaze. In a strange way it makes her feel more comfortable that he is just as miserable with the new arrangements as she is, even if it is for different reasons. Misery loves company, she supposes. In hopes of taking his mind off his brooding, she lifts a hand from the wheel and lightly brushes his hospital gown at the shoulder. "We need to start thinking about getting you some new clothes."

Naota jumps at the sudden contact but is quick with an indignant retort. "Me? Blue cotton man-gowns are all the rage this season. What about you? Don't you ever wear anything other than that ridiculous uniform?!" He wasn't expecting her reaction.

Her eyes widen and she blinks several times in surprise. She faces the road again and ponders the question for a moment before answering. "No. No I don't." They share a minute of uncomfortable silence while she nervously plays with her tie. "Do you really think I look ridiculous?"

Naota panics and his blood runs cold with guilt and self loathing. "No! Not at all! I was just joking!" He takes a moment, almost instinctively, to study his caretaker. Naota can't help but silently marvel as the sun cascades off her honey-blonde locks. His eyes trail her over her bright brown eyes, cute nose, and full, pursed lips. Her tan complexion is beautiful even in the face of the introspective worry that creases her brow. The offending uniform itself even, only serves to accentuate feminine curves. Naota yanks his gaze away and barely whispers "That's not what I think at all."

The beautiful lieutenant's change in demeanor is both miraculous and instantaneous. She breaks into an award-winning smile and brings both her hands to her face, striking her best covergirl pose. "I knew it, you can't resist me! I should have seen it earlier." She sighs dramatically. "I'm such a fool."

Naota rears back against his window, he couldn't have been more shocked if she had struck him. "As if!" Flushed with embarrassment, his eyes drift to the road as the car shifts into the other lane. He panics and jabs his finger against the windshield repeatedly. "Get your hands back on the wheel you lunatic!"

She slowly turns her head back towards the road as they come to the crest of a hill. "Oh calm down Naota this highway is des- yeeeek!" Suddenly their entire field of vision is filled with eight tons of honking semi truck. Naota acts without thinking, diving for the wheel and yanking them back into their lane, throwing them momentarily onto two wheels. It's a close call, rushing winds and blaring horn shake the tiny vehicle to its axles, but they survive. For a time neither moves an inch. Naota still clings white-knuckled to the wheel, eyes wide and teeth gnashing. Surprising to both however, is Kitsurubami clinging similarly to Naota. With arms wrapped around his chest and waist and face pressed against his, she also stays motionless with bugging eyes. Seconds go by before either realizes, but when they do, they burst apart like a grenade goes off between them.

After a moment of heavy breathing, Naota settles back into his seat. He remains tense and wide eyed however, and when he speaks it's only in a whisper. "We almost died."

Kitsurubami keeps one hand firmly on the wheel and uses the other to readjust her stray hairs and eschew beret. Still flushed from the close proximity with her companion she struggles for an answer. "Oh it wouldn't have been that bad." Apparently her sense of humor didn't suffer any damage.

Naota is incredulous. "Not that bad?! We were almost another statistic! Death by head-on collision!" By this point the young man is shaking.

The Lieutenant on the other hand, was already beginning to regain her composure, and she gives Naota a shaky smile. "That guy have been the one scared!" She raps her knuckles against the top of the vehicle. "My baby here is the product of solid Polish engineering! It would have cut through that shoddy aluminum like a hot knife through butter!"

"Good god woman! We step out into the world for twelve seconds and you start picking fights with semi-trucks!?"

Her shaky smile becomes a self satisfied smirk. She eases further into her seat, the near-death experience already fading into nothing more than a memory. "I don't pick fights I can't win. If worst came to worst, you could have just sent that truck to the moon anyway right?"

Naota whacks himself in the head. "Oh of course!Why didn't I do that instead of steering us out of harm's way?" His eyes narrow. "Oh yeah, because it would have come crashing through the windshield, showering us with razor sharp glass at roughly the speed of sound!" Naota's voice starts to raise and he spreads his hands out to emphasize his point. "Ooh! And that's before I miraculously leap in front of you and shove thing into my forehead without you getting hit!"

Kitsurubami's smile softens, and turns her head back to the road. "You'd jump in front of a truck for me Naota?" She intentionally adjusts her tone to seem especially adorable.

Whatever the next words in her companion's rant were, they die in his throat. Naota's cheeks burn as if every drop of blood has been sent to them. Breaking out into a sweat he clambers as far back as his seatbelt allows. "Ah well. I don't…I mean…" He rubs the back of his head nervously and barely stutters out "I…I guess you could interpret it that way..."

She doesn't answer, settling instead with concentrating on the road but beaming with silent appreciation. Naota watches on, transfixed by the young woman's smiling lips, bright eyes, and cute collection of freckles. For a woman that smiles so often, he can't help but appreciate every single one of them. Even if they are at his expense. Suddenly, her voice breaks his thoughts.

"Hey Naota."

"Mmhm?"

"We're here."

And so they were. They crested one last final hill of rolling fields and empty road and the city was spread before them. Homes, businesses, and winding rivers crossed by stone bridges all wrapped around one large hill over which sat the ruins of a giant iron. He could already begin to smell it, the scent of complacency that permeates the town like a constant fog. He could already start to make out the shapes of its inhabitants. Children who wish to be adults and adults who act like children. A town where no one knows their place, only knowing that they are perpetually unsatisfied with what they have at the moment.

Yes, it was at that moment that Naota realizes that he wasn't comfortable at all coming home. He crosses his arms and shuts his eyes, as if doing so would make the scene before him disappear.

"Drive fast."

And another chapter comes to a close. Wait, so is that like the thing I do now at the end of each chapter? Couldn't I have spent a little time coming up with a better line? I'm disappointed in myself. Is this inane inner dialogue striking you guys as asinine and cheesy as it does me? I mean it could be worse, I could be having some shitty and overdone conversation with one of the characters from the series I'm fan-ficcing. Yeah, I'll stop this now

Maybe I'll try something new next time. "See you space cowboy." Yeah I like that one, let's stick with that. I thought of it all by myself. Really I did!

Chicago was great, one of my top U.S. cities. Thanks for the patience on getting this chapter out. I'll be starting college here at the end of August, hopefully that won't cut into my writing time huh? I shouldn't think so, I mean, sleep is for the weak. Who needs rest when you can live on a diet of ginseng and exercise induced adrenaline? Am I right?!

Is Fan-ficcing a word?

Metal Gear Solid 3 OST, good stuff.

Right, reviewer response time.

Shadowsin: Glad to hear you got a chuckle out of it. I'm even more glad to hear instances where my actions put the integrity of someone else's personal property in danger. To destroy from a distance, must be what god feels like. It's great that your enjoying yourself, I hope you continue to read. And yes, its past midnight and I haven't eaten for over six hours—some sweet rolls would be great.

Azure dream: It's good to hear you're starting to like my offkey pairing decision. I don't know what disease I have in my brain that encourages them, but it's one I can live with. After reading your comment I whacked myself in the head. You hit the nail right on the head, that's exactly why I kept reworking the fight scene and couldn't get satisfied with it. It just wasn't a fooly or cooly. I'll definitely remember that when the next battle cometh. Yeah, I've been learning to play on a Fender Acoustic for awhile now. Ultimately I end up disappointed whenever I practice because I crave something I can rock out on. Any classic riffs I play were always originally meant to played on bass. So, I suppose having the acoustic shatter was a symbol of my own frustrations with the instrument. But my time is coming, I'll pick up something more appropriate for me when I move in and I'll have all the practice I've had up until this point. That you do the silhouette pose is way too cool (aka dorky to normal people). I try anything similar with the acoustic and I look like El Ka-bong. Yeah, Chicago was awesome, like I said earlier. I starve for civilization every once and awhile, even though it's full of . Sorry to write you a book instead of a review response, heh. I see you write teen titans and final fantasy VII fanfiction, I'll have to read your stuff! I've been out of teen titans for awhile but I was really into it for quite some time. And final fantasy VII, of course, is classic. You haven't by chance played FFVI have you?

Miles 'Tag' Underwood: Heh, yeah she's great. I really wish there was more merchandise with her as the focus. I've seen a wall scroll where she's in a pretty great pose in the backround. Another one has her in her combat gear sitting on her car alongside haruko behind a gun-toting Naota. Both are ok images, even though I wish she was in the forefront. But honestly, I'm not big on fabric wall scrolls anyway. I prefer paper posters, which might as well not exist in the anime world. Oh well, good luck fulfilling your impossible wheelchair fantasy, and see you next chapter!