Loser
Disclaimer
I do not own Kim Possible or any of the characters used in this story. This story has mature content including violence, adult language, and possibly sexual content or situations.
Ron
A short time after she left I went up to my room to rest. I was still pretty out of it. As I lied in bed my mind started to ask itself questions. The hard kind that makes you rethink your entire life. What was I worth? Not to anyone other than myself. What kind of sense of self worth did I have?
I realized at that moment that I had no sense of self worth. That's not to say that I hated myself. Not in the least. I just couldn't see anything worthwhile in myself. But when you considered the company I kept. How could I? I was in all honesty a special person surrounded by the most amazing people in the world. If you were to take stock of them, it would show you how mundane I truly was.
First, of course there was Kim. Teen superhero, straight A student, captain of the cheer squad, and beautiful girl. Her parents were geniuses. Ms. Dr. P. was a brain surgeon and Mr. Dr. P. was a rocket scientist. Hell the twins were geniuses.
My second best friend Felix was dealt a worse hand than me and was dealing with it better. He was a better athlete, gamer, student and though he didn't talk much about it I knew he helped more with his chair then he let on.
Then there was Monique who was a bonafide fashionista. As well as being one of the most popular girls in school. Oh and she was beautiful too. Not too mention she knew more about wrestling than I did.
Heck the entire cheer squad was smarter than I was. And cheer leaders where supposed to be stupid. Damn cliché's never worked my way.
Oh and lets not forget about Yori kind, deadly, beautiful, and smart with a great sense of humor. Oh and she was ninja. Another in the long line of amazing people making me realize how inadequate I was.
There was Wade who aside from being a master hacker was an all around technological genius.
But it went on even the villains Kim and I had faced were better than me in there own ways. Drakken for all his faults was brilliant and tenacious. Dr. Dementor was the same. Senior Senior Senior was one of the riches men in the world and a loving father. Hell Monkey Fist had his arms and legs amputated and replaced with monkey limbs. As wrong-sick as that was he was willing to deal with the pain. That was a kind of determination that I could never hope to understand. Motor Ed was a mechanical genius. DNAmy was a geneticist above all others. Duff Killigan was the best golfer in the world.
Senior Senior Junior was well he actually made me feel better about myself.
Then there was Shego, who was so much better than me yet willing to help with my problems. Of course she was amazing she had been a teen hero and was one of the best thieves in the world. Even if she didn't return she had done so much for me that I could never think of her in any way other than as an amazing human being.
When compared to that, what was I? It wasn't that I was putting myself down. I just couldn't think of myself as anything other than inadequate, which is why I guess I went on those missions with Kim. It wasn't because I thought I could help her. I knew the opposite was true. If anything I was just a nuisance. But on those rare occasions when I helped or even saved the day, I felt good. No good isn't the right word, I felt worthy. I was proud of myself. Of course I had to go through so much to get that. But it was the only way. I was so lost in those thoughts that I didn't remember falling asleep. But I did. I fell into a long fitful sleep.
When I awoke I felt so cold. Not just because of the shivers but because I was alone. It wasn't that I was alone in bed. It was that the house was empty. I had awoken to that so many times before that I just knew. There's a feeling that comes from being alone in your house, a feeling that I was familiar with. I knew I had to have been asleep for a while the sun had set. I looked at the clock on the night stand. It was 10 at night. She had been gone for over twelve hours, which was more than enough time for her to have gone and come back three times over.
But she wasn't going to come back. What hurt, what really killed me, was that I had trusted her. I had fallen so deep that I put my trust in one of my most dangerous enemies. What does it mean when the last person you trust is the last person you should trust? It means that you will be betrayed one last time. I had believed that there was no way I could feel lower, but I had been wrong.
Then again I was always wrong. Even when I was right I was right in the wrong way. Hard to understand but that was me to a T. Of course if I was always wrong then that meant I was probably wrong about my lack of worth. Everyone had something to be proud about. I had to have something. And while compared to what those around me could do what I had was rather mundane. But I could do it better than all of them. I had something. I could cook. That was the skill I had. That was what I needed to grab onto.
Like I said it wasn't anything extraordinary but it was what I needed. It was the boost my ego desperately needed. But more importantly it was solid ground. I had been falling for so long, that anything that could stop my decent was more than welcome. It's funny but if anyone would be able to realize the power of something so small it would be me. I know from first hand experience that big things come in little packages. That was when I decided to make dinner for myself and my little buddy.
As I was cooking things started to seem a bit better. Cooking had that effect on me. It cleared my mind and I enjoyed it. I realized that if I could do this so well with out trying, who knew what else I could do. If I was given a chance and some support I knew I could move forward. I would try as hard as I could. But that was the easy part. The hard part was making the choice.
I didn't have much to keep me there. Nothing except my whole life, which wasn't much. Eventually I would get another naco check so high school and college weren't that important. Plus I really would have preferred to go to culinary school anyway. If I needed a high school diploma I was sure Wade could get me one. So school wasn't an issue. Kim didn't need me she never did, at least before she liked having me around now not so much. With the Ronmunicator wade gave me I would be able to stay in touch with Felix and my family wherever I went. And Rufus was more than welcomed where I would go. So there truly was nothing to stop me, nothing but my fear.
Fear is a hell of a thing. You can't touch it, but it can hold you down more than any thing else, which was why I knew I had to it then. If I waited I wouldn't go through with it. I hadn't even finished making dinner when I made the call. I barely had time to eat when they arrived. The Yamanouchi School's reach was far and wide. The very nice but quiet ninja's gave me a lift to a private airport. They also removed Wade's tracking chips, both the one in me and the one in the Ronmunicator. We were in the air before the day was over.
All of this thanks to Shego. She had pushed me more than anyone else had. Her betrayal was more than I could take. It was the final nail in the coffin of my old life. Even if she didn't know it the woman I loved had broken my heart. It would be a long time before she found out what she had done to me. Five years to be exact.
5 Years Later
It was Drakken's fault. He messed with the wrong people. Betrayed them in a way he should never have. He took a job with a drug cartel from Latin America. All he had to do was duplicate Shego's powers and find a way to give them to the cartels soldiers. Of course nothing with Drakken was ever simple. He took the large sums of money paid to him and used it to fund another one of his idiotic schemes. It had something to do with sharks and lasers or something. When that failed and the cartel realized what had happened they were not pleased.
Drakken and Shego had to go underground. But they weren't exactly inconspicuous, which was a problem. At least where Global Justice was concerned. That's where I came in. I had already brought Draken in. It wasn't that hard. He had been staying with Dr. Dementor. That lasted about three days before Drakken got on his nerves. Dementor called GJ and gave Dr. D. up. I just had to escort him to GJ headquarters.
Shego was different. As a thief she was used to being stealthy. As good as she was her temper would usually get the better of her. I thought it would have been her appearance, but she had makeup to take care of that. Nothing however could cover up the damage her anger had caused. She moved quickly and often, but couldn't quite stay under GJ's radar.
Eventually they caught up with her. That was why I was there on that beautiful white sandy beach. The sun had dipped low in the sky and it was time to make my move. I decided to go the direct route. I knocked on the door of her bungalow. I knew she was there I had been watching for the better part of a day.
She answered by the second knock. When she turned the door knob to open the door I kicked it in knocking her back. She wasn't expecting an attack and I took advantage of that. I moved forward with an elbow to her temple. She spun away from my attack and launched her own. My advantage was gone, not that it mattered. I blocked her high kick and got into her guard. She hadn't powered her hands up yet and I took the opportunity to dislocate her right arm at the shoulder. She grunted at the pain and lashed at me with her left hand ablaze. I had already moved past her but her attack ripped the back off my shirt.
In doing so she exposed my back. I heard her gasp. When I turned to press my attack I saw that she was kneeling on the floor. The fight was over. I walked over to her and sat at her side. Before she could say anything I popped her shoulder back into place.
Neither of us said anything for a while. We just sat there in silence. Finally she spoke.
"Ron. You dislocated my shoulder."
"Yeah." I said. "I was trying to disarm you."
It was a silly joke but she smiled and laughed just a little. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and pull her close. Instead I helped her up and to the little couch in the sitting area of the bungalow.
She had questions of course. Where had I been? What was I doing? Why did I attack her? I answered with my own question.
"Shego, there are a lot of things I would like to tell you but I don't have the time. I'm here on business. But before I get to it I have to ask you something… something that has been on my mind for the better part of the last five years. When you left, you said you were coming back. I know you didn't but I want to know if you lied to me. When you said you would come back did you already know that you weren't going to?"
She looked away trying to hide the tears that were forming in her eyes. I turned her face toward mine and wiped away the tears with my hand.
"No. I didn't lie. I was planning on going back. But the further I got from you the more scared I became. You were something new. Something I had no experience with. I knew that if I went back I would never want to leave."
I leaned into her and brought my lips to hers. She met me halfway and we kissed. It was soft at first but then she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled herself into me. It took all I had to break the kiss. I pushed her away and stood up.
"Ron?"
There was a hint of pleading in her voice. I ignored it. I couldn't let her get any closer than she already was. I had a job to do.
"Shego GJ sent me to bring you in."
"What? Why would they send you?"
"Because they can't risk the cartel getting you. The people that are after you would pose too much of a threat if they were capture you. If they find a way to duplicate your powers the repercussions would be horrific. Global Justice will not allow that to happen. Either you come in willingly and stay under GJ protection until the cartel is dismantled or I remove you from the picture."
I could have sworn I saw actual flames in her eyes. I readied myself for the inevitable attack. But it didn't come. She was mad, but not for the reasons I thought.
"They sent you on a suicide mission." Any other day and I would have been offended, but not that day.
"Should I take that as a "No"?"
She rose from the couch and walked towards me. There was something else in her eyes now. I think it was hope. It was second time that night that she got to me. I couldn't let it happen again.
"I won't let Global Justice stick me in a cage to try to protect me." She said the last part with more disgust than I had ever heard from her.
"I can take care of myself. And maybe you can come with me?"
"So it is a "No"."
She nodded her head. I wanted her to say yes. I thought maybe there could have been something with us this time. I knew she wouldn't, it was the first time I had wished I was wrong. She had moved away from me. Her posture had become defensive.
"You know you can't do this Ron."
"Five years is a long time. People change."
"Not that much."
I was waiting for that. She moved forward as she said it. There was no hesitation or fear in her. She had no idea what she was dealing with. GJ hadn't sent me because of our history. They sent me because I could and would kill her without hesitation.
It was to late when this dawned upon her. I was expecting to see fear in her eyes. But that's not what I saw. I would have been okay with hate, but that wasn't there either. I saw the last thing I wanted to see. I saw pity. I pulled the trigger and her eyes went dark.
She saw me pull the gun. She could have stopped but she didn't. I like to think that if she had realized what I had become earlier she would have given up. I know better. Shego never gave up. Global Justice knew that. They knew what was going to happen.
Like I said that's why they sent me. As I left the bungalow and called in the clean up crew I realized some thing. After those long five years and all the things I had lost. My friends who became sickened by what I was growing into. The life I could have led but was no longer in my grasp. Master Sensei who was to guilt ridden by what he had made me to be in my presence. Yori who couldn't deal with what our work entailed. And even my buddy Rufus who left with Yori. After all this time I had truly become that which I had tried so hard to move past. When this all started I was a good guy with a bright future but now I was Loser.
The End.
I would just like to say that when I started to write this I hadn't planned the ending of the story. But I figured it would be a happy one. Then as I started to write this chapter I asked myself what would Ron do if Shego didn't come back? The idea of that interested me and felt right. I see this story as too dark for a happy ending. I am however planning a more light-hearted Ron Shego story. But that won't be for a while. As for this story, well Loser is over but I think Loser 2 will happen. (But not anytime soon.) Thanks for reading.