I don't have a lot of time, but I did have a lof of fun writing this chapter! Enjoy!
Chapter 15: Inner-Turmoil
"How did you get my cell phone number?" Tidus asked, his voice annoyed. Yuna couldn't help but glance back at him, as she finished drying the remainder of the dishes from their dinner that night. He sounded tired, but she couldn't tell, for his back was to her.
"It's kind of late here," Tidus said, after a little bit of silence, "I'm on vacation." There was silence again, and Tidus said, "Yeah, I don't like to be bothered while I'm on vacation…I have to discuss it with my agent…Yeah, bye."
"Who was that?" Yuna asked, shocked that she had found a voice to talk to him. She had expected him to be asleep when she walked back into the house, or at least pretending to be, but he was talking on the phone. She had decided to dry the dishes that Rikku had already washed, with of course the double reason being that she could listen to Tidus' phone conversation.
"A college," Tidus said, his voice sounding tired again, "I don't know how they got my number."
"Oh," Yuna said, "Are you going to bed?"
"Yeah, it's been a tiring day."
Yuna wanted to ask him "how so?", but she kept her mouth closed, a thin line forming between her lips, for she had to keep them tightly shut to keep from asking that question. The day hadn't been very exhausting. The weather hadn't even been that warm.
Her heart seemed to fall into her stomach, for she knew why she found the day exhausting. She'd received her first kiss, after all, had she not? She felt instant pain in her stomach from thinking about it. She glanced over quickly at Tidus, but couldn't see him, for he was lying down on the couch.
"Tidus," Yuna said, shocked once more that she was able to find her voice, "Just go sleep with Gippal. Isn't it uncomfortable out here?"
She didn't hear an answer, which confused her, so she set down the last dish that she had dried, and walked around to the front of the couch, to see that he was fast asleep.
A slight snore came out of his mouth, but it was so slight that Yuna wondered if it was really Gippal—or perhaps even Rikku—from upstairs. His eyes weren't closed tightly, but nice and relaxed. She couldn't help but smile. She didn't think a guy like Tidus ever looked completely peaceful.
Yuna left him then, and quickly turned the lights off. She found her way upstairs, where sure enough, she could hear both Gippal and Rikku snoring loudly, probably exhausted from all of the running around they did. Yuna quickly got ready for bed, and walked into her room.
She crawled under the covers on her side of the bed and stared at the ceiling. Her feelings were incredibly mixed, and she couldn't even begin to sort them out. Whose side was Tidus on, anyway? Was he on hers? What he had showed her…the kiss and everything…was he serious? Did he really think that she should do what he did to her, and that it would make Baralai like her too? Yuna bit her lip softly. She knew Baralai liked her. She had been sure of it since the first day she met him. Even though they were young, she felt an instant attraction with him, and she was sure—positive even—that Baralai had felt it too. They were similar, she and Baralai, and that was why they had never let on that they liked each other. They were both competitive, and with each other especially. They were also both stubborn. Yuna wasn't going to admit to liking Baralai if he wasn't going to admit to liking her, and vice-versa.
Turning around, Yuna let out a sigh. She wanted to tell Baralai so badly how she felt, simply to get it off of her chest. It was hard for her to say just what she wanted her relationship to be with Baralai. She definitely wanted to be as close to him as she had been years before, but did she want to be even more close?
Throughout her childhood, adolescence, and teenaged years, she had pictured herself with Baralai. Even though she had feared that she would never see him again, she had closed her eyes every night to relive the memories she had shared with him, praying for a chance to see him once more, even if it was just to tell him how she felt. Perhaps she hadn't thought that the day would ever come, and that Baralai would just remain a memory. Especially now that Tidus was in the picture.
Yuna turned again. What exactly did she feel toward Tidus? For the past hour, all she could concentrate on was the feeling of his lips against hers. She replayed the scene over and over in her mind, and could still feel his hands enclosed in hers, his lips on hers, and his hot breath as he pulled away from her. Already the memory was becoming distant, and she figured it wouldn't be long before she couldn't remember any of the details that she was remembering. But just what had Tidus meant by that kiss?
He had of course played it off as if he was just showing Yuna how to get Baralai to kiss him, that Yuna was sure of. But was that all that he had meant it as? Or was there more behind that kiss? Yuna looked at the slumbering Rikku next to her. Had Tidus kissed Rikku? She tried to think if he would have had the chance or not, but she was uncertain. She rolled her eyes, deciding that it didn't matter if he had or not.
Turning the opposite way again, Yuna focused on the kiss again. Tidus hadn't seemed himself. Her cheeks instantly turned red as she recalled the look in his eyes, and the way he had said, "Yuna, I love you." It was so real. She had to fight back the urge to say that she loved him too. But was that just how he had attempted to make her feel, to show her how she could get Baralai to feel that way? Did he really not mean it at all? Or had he meant it entirely, and was simply trying to mask it by making her think he was just giving her hints?
She took a deep breath and tried to think rationally. Was Tidus the type of guy to actually love a girl? He had told her that he found love stupid, hadn't he? So when he told her he loved her, he couldn't have been telling the truth, could he?
Rationally speaking, Yuna knew people could change. But Tidus wasn't a normal person. Yes, people could change, but could Tidus change? She thought about how exhausted he seemed to be. Was he exhausted for the same reasons as she was? Was the inner-turmoil within him draining his energy?
Yuna almost laughed. What kind of inner-turmoil would Tidus have? He was sure of himself, completely experienced with the minds of women. He'd been around the block once or twice, and would happily admit it. If he really did like her, he would come out and say it. The small smile Yuna had slowly disappeared. Of course, if he'd wanted to sleep with her, he would have managed to lure her as well. True, he'd tried, but she got the feeling that he only tried half-heartedly. He had almost managed to pull Rikku in, hadn't he? So what was keeping him from taking her?
Yuna was growing weak, and was beginning to have trouble fighting it. If Tidus wanted her for the wrong reasons, she knew she'd give in, and soon. She knew a guy like Tidus would be able to know that, too. So what was keeping him?
And if he didn't love her, and if he didn't want her for other purposes, why was he keeping her around?
Yuna couldn't take it anymore. She forced her mind to stop thinking, and attempted to sleep. She finally drifted off, simply by relaxing and replaying the night over in her mind once again.
-
"By the way, you owe me a hundred gil," Tidus said to Gippal as the two walked through the village.
"Why? Luca hasn't beat Bevelle yet."
"Not that bet," Tidus said, "Yuna has never kissed a guy before."
"Damn," Gippal said, reaching in his pocket to pull out a hundred gil, "Why the hell hasn't she?"
Tidus shrugged and said, "Well, actually, she has."
"Hey, wait," Gippal said, pulling his money back from Tidus' grasp, "Why do I owe you money then?"
"You owe me another hundred," Tidus said, not smiling, "'Cause last night, we kissed."
"You rotten-son-of-a—."
"Just hand it over."
Gippal reached into his pocket to pull out another hundred, and he handed it to Tidus.
"I'll give you fifty of this back if you don't tell Rikku," Tidus said.
"Why can't I tell Rikku? What'd you do to Yuna?"
"Nothing," Tidus said, staring at Gippal hard, "Yuna doesn't want anybody to know."
Gippal laughed and said, "Why, she embarrassed?"
"It was her first kiss," Tidus said, "And she didn't want it to be with me."
Gippal looked confused and he said, "Alright, fifty gil and tell me why, and I won't tell Rikku."
"The guy next door, have you seen him?"
"The tan guy with the light hair?" Gippal asked.
"Yeah. He's Yuna's childhood friend."
"Ah," Gippal said, nodding with a smile, "Sucks to be you then."
Tidus looked at the ground and he said, "Yeah, it kind of does."
"Aren't you going to do something to sabotage them?" Gippal asked, "Play Yuna more than you have and kiss her in front of him or something?"
"Gip, I wasn't playing," Tidus said, shrugging, "I want her to be happy. It sounds stupid, I know, but she's a friend now."
"So you go around kissing friends?" Gippal asked, shaking his head, "Why'd you kiss her?"
"I'm not going to tell you."
"Tell me, and I'll let you keep the fifty gil," Gippal said, raising his eyebrows challengingly at his friend.
"Nope," Tidus said, shaking his head, "I've already told you too much…Hey, where's your girlfriend?"
"At the spa with Yuna," Gippal said, "Like they both announced this morning. Where's your head been?"
"Not here," Tidus answered, shaking his blonde hair, "I didn't even realize Rikku was gone. This is probably hard on you, being away from her like this."
"Ah, shut it," Gippal said, "Look at all the beautiful women around you, Tidus. Go pick one of them and be yourself. You seem a little down."
"I think I've matured, Gip," Tidus said, shaking his head, "You know, I keep picturing little should consciences appearing—you know, the whole devil/angel thing."
"…How does that mean you've matured?" Gippal asked, giving Tidus a look as if to ask if he was crazy.
"I've never felt that before," Tidus said, "I've just listened to the devil, and gone with whatever I wanted."
"So how many times have you listened to the angel?" Gippal asked, playing along.
"Uh, once out of three times," came Tidus' answer.
"So about a fourth of the time."
"Isn't that more like half of the time?"
"No, it's less than half! It's a fourth!"
"Gip, my math grade was better than yours, it's definitely half."
"Dude, we both failed."
"Yeah, but I got an F+."
"There's no such thing as an F+!"
"Is too. Ms. Belgimine gave it to me, winked, and said, "This will keep you on the team."'
"What'd you do, sleep with her?"
"No, I was too busy messing around with her student teacher. You know, that college girl, what was she, twenty-four or so?"
"No way, I was screwing around with her!"
"Gip, we promised we wouldn't screw the same girl!"
Tidus couldn't help but laugh. As they reached the beach, he couldn't help but feel as if it was the summer before, when he'd done nothing but partied, blitzed, played girls, and hung out with Gippal. Things certainly had changed.
Perhaps that's why he suddenly felt a wave of bravery go throughout him.
"Hey Gip," Tidus said, "Back on subject…About maturity and all that."
"Right," Gippal said, "Screwing math teachers' student teachers really wasn't a very mature thing to do."
"No," Tidus said, shaking his head, "And I've come to realize that."
"So what happened?" Gippal asked, "I'll be honest, Rikku does totally have me whipped."
Tidus made an annoyed sound, and he said, "At least you can admit it."
"But I'm glad," Gippal continued, "I really am. So what happened to you?"
Tidus began to debate on whether or not he should tell his friend.
"See, right now!" Tidus cried, shocking Gippal, "I can't choose! I can either tell you, and embarrass the hell outta myself, or I can just keep it in me. This kind of thing never used to happen before!"
"What is wrong?" Gippal said, seeming taken aback, "Just spill it, Tidus. I'm the one that's whipped, remember? So who cares?"
"Right," Tidus said, "But I think I'm getting whipped too."
Gippal started to say something, but he stopped.
"You mean by Yuna?" he finally said, "Ti, I thought you said she liked the neighbor guy!"
"She does," Tidus said, softly, "And he's totally her type. He's smart, and studious, and rich acting, and likes to read…"
"And this bothers you?" Gippal asked, raising his eyebrows, "Give it up, bud, you're not getting into her pants."
"Gip, it's not about that!" Tidus cried, "I've never been jealous before, and I am! Of some stupid golf-player!"
"Whoa, he plays golf?" Gippal gasped, "What kind of freak plays that when there's a game like blitzball out there?"
"I don't know!" Tidus cried, "Did you know that Yuna hadn't even touched a blitzball until she met me?"
Gippal looked like he could die. "You're kidding me!" he cried.
"It's like she's lived in a hole her whole life!" Tidus cried, "But she seemed to really like it when I took her to a Termite game. Her eyes were all lit up, and she…" Tidus trailed.
"Sorry Ti," Gippal said, shrugging, "But a girl who hasn't even played blitz? She's way outta your league."
"I know," Tidus said, shaking his head, "But it's really hard to get her out of my mind."
"Dude, you're in love," Gippal said, giving Tidus was appeared to be a disgusted look.
Tidus didn't say anything. He wanted desperately to deny it, to laugh and say he just wanted to sleep with her, but he couldn't. He just stood there, unmoving.
"Did you tell her?" Gippal asked.
"…In a weird kind of way," Tidus said slowly.
"What'd you say?"
"I said, "Yuna, I love you."'
"So how is that a weird sort of way?"
"I made it seem as if I was just showing her what she should say to Baralai," Tidus said, "Which I kind of was. If she did to Baralai what I did to her, he'll be hers easily."
"Is that what she wants?" Gippal asked, his tone serious.
It took some time for Tidus to answer, but he finally said a soft, "Yes."
Gippal gave a shrug and said, "Then I'm sorry buddy, but you'll just have to give up."
"I know," Tidus said, taking a deep breath, "I know. Hey Gip, promise you won't tell Rikku about any of this?"
Gippal nodded and he said, "I promise."
-
"I just love pedicures!" Rikku cried, dipping her feet into the warm water beneath her, "Don't you, Yunie?"
Yuna simply nodded.
"Hey, what gives Yunie?" Rikku asked, "I've been trying super hard not to talk about Gippal, but you're not saying anything! I don't know what else to talk about!"
"Sorry Rikku," Yuna said, "I didn't sleep well last night."
"Why not? Hey, and where were Tidus and you all night? You got a thing for him, Yunie? You know, Gippal told me that maybe a girl like you could tame Tidus a little. You definitely have the upper edge on him."
Yuna curled her lip under her teeth, biting it softly. She glanced at her cousin and sighed.
"Rikku," she said softly, "Tidus kissed me last night."
"Oh Yevon, really?" Rikku cried, her eyes wide with shock, "What was it like? You pushed him away, I hope."
"It was weird," Yuna said, taking a deep breath, "He was…Showing me something."
"…Showing you what?" Rikku asked slowly.
"Have you met my neighbor?" Yuna asked then.
"Tidus? Yeah."
"No, the neighbor at the summer home."
"Oh yeah, Baralai was it? That guy you used to hang out with every summer. Gippal and I saw him yesterday."
Yuna swallowed hard. Could she really tell Rikku? She figured she didn't have much of a choice.
"I kind of have a crush on him," Yuna said.
"Wait, you have a crush on Baralai, but yet you were kissing Tidus?"
"Tidus kissed me, remember," Yuna said, "And I'm not entirely sure he meant anything by the kiss."
"Okay, so what was he showing you?"
"Tidus said he'd help me tell Baralai how I feel about him. So Tidus took me out last night to show me what I should do to get Baralai to like me."
"Ah, and then he kissed you?" Rikku said, after telling the nail artist that she wanted her nails down in pink.
"Yeah," Yuna said, "He told me that he could make anybody fall in love with him. Do you think he was just toying with me, or did he really want to help me out?"
"So you do think he meant something by the kiss," Rikku said, giving her cousin a suspicious glance.
"I think he may have wanted me to think he meant something by the kiss," Yuna said, "I don't know, I'm so confused."
"Tidus is a player," Rikku reminded her cousin, "So he's probably right when he says he knows how to make people fall in love with him…Wait, are you trying to say that you're in love with him?" Rikku faced her cousin with shock plastered across her face.
Yuna swallowed and said, "I don't know."
"Yunie, I like Tidus. The more I hang around him, the more I realize he's not such a bad guy after all. But he's a manipulator. The biggest manipulator I have ever met. He can make you believe he's Yevon, and with those looks of his, he really could be. I bet he could get me to cheat on Gippal with him if he wanted to, and I love Gippal. Not that that's a thought or anything, just an example," Rikku added with a blush.
"I know he is," Yuna said, "But he's been weird these last few days. He's almost quiet, and calm, and…Thoughtful. It's really weird."
Rikku twisted her mouth in thought and said, "But you like Baralai, right?"
Yuna couldn't answer. Finally, she said, "I did like Baralai."
"Well he's cute," Rikku said quickly, "And probably more your type than Tidus."
"I know," Yuna said, nodding, although she knew her cousin was trying to distract her from Tidus, "It's just that…I can't get Tidus off of my mind. It's driving me crazy!"
"Focus on Baralai instead," Rikku said, giving her cousin a little smile, "And remind yourself that Tidus probably was just manipulating you. Do you want me to punch him for you?"
Yuna smiled at her cousin and said, "No. But what if it's too late…What if I already like Tidus too much?"
"Yunie, don't do this," Rikku said, "Really, I saw that Baralai guy, and he looks amazing. And you told me all of the fun things you used to do when you were little! He'd be great for you. I just know it. Once you hook up with him, I'm sure Tidus will totally never be in your mind again."
Yuna nodded slowly and said, "So you think that's what I should do?"
Rikku smiled cheerfully and said, "Definitely."
"What's poor Tidus going to do if I hook up with Baralai? We still have four days left here in Besaid."
"We'll hang out with him," Rikku said, "Poor guy…He'll be the fourth wheel out!"
"So you don't think Tidus meant anything by the kiss?"
"Of course not!" Rikku said, laughing, "It's not like he convincingly managed to tell you he loved you or anything!"
Yuna's heart sank to her gut. He had. She opened her mouth to voice this, but her cousin was too busy directing the nail artist to paint a flower on her big toe. So, Yuna swallowed and shut her mouth tight.
That night, she decided, she was going to have a talk with Baralai. She was going to settle things right then and there.