Well, it's officially been a month now since I published this on the site! Thank you all for the reviews! Right now I'm currently writing chatper 20, and it's not going so well...I've hit my first writer's block on this story. Oh well, hopefully I'll get over it by the time I get to that chapter! In the meantime, enjoy!
Chapter 16: Just Yuna
Tidus was in the kitchen when Yuna came down the stairs, which caused a slight moment of panic.
"Tidus," Yuna said, hoping the treble in her voice was unnoticeable, "What are you doing here? I thought you went with Rikku and Gippal to get something to eat!"
"I'm not hungry," came Tidus' simple reply.
Another wave of panic swept through Yuna. Did he want to hang out with her then? Yuna blushed underneath the heavy layer of blush that she had already added to her rather made-up face.
Tidus swallowed and he said, "Rikku said you have a little date with Baralai."
"Oh, yeah," Yuna said, blushing even more.
"You gonna try out what I showed you?" Tidus asked, a very faint and small smile on his lips.
"Possibly," came Yuna's answer, barely above a whisper.
Tidus gave her a wider smile, although it was still faint, and he said, "Good luck."
"Thanks," Yuna said, her voice still very soft, "See you later?"
"Yeah," Tidus said, "I'm planning on walking down the beach to see what trouble I can get into."
"Oh," Yuna said, her voice still soft.
Tidus' eyes watched hers, and then he laughed, saying, "I'm kidding about the trouble thing."
"I know," came Yuna's answer, "I'll see you later."
"Bye."
Yuna rushed past him then, simply glad to get away.
"Hey Yuna?" Tidus asked before Yuna was completely safe. She turned around to face him, and he just gave her a little smile and asked, "How come you never go all-out when you're going to see me?"
"You know the answer to the question," Yuna said, hoping she wasn't blushing more. Perhaps all the makeup and stuff had been too much.
Tidus gave a little half smile and said, "See ya."
Yuna simply shook her head and marched out the door, shutting it tightly behind her. As soon as she was alone, she looked up at the stars and sighed. She knew she was doing the right thing. With that, she turned to Baralai's house, hoping all went according to plan.
-
Tidus sat down and stared off into space. Besaid's blitz team had begged him to hang out with them again, but Tidus turned them down. True, if any night was a good night to get wasted, it would be this night. Even so, Tidus just didn't have it in him.
He wondered what Yuna was going to tell Baralai. He wondered if she would replicate his actions from the night before to securely fasten Baralai as hers. In a way, he found it sweet. Childhood friends, perfect for each other. He imagined the smile that would be on Yuna's face the next time he saw her. He figured it would be the same dorky smile that Gippal constantly had spread across his lips. That stupid smile that said, "I'm in love!"
Tidus rolled the sand into a pile, and then squeezed it with all of his might. He was holding back curses that he wanted to shout into the nothingness that was the ocean.
He was too late. If he would have just sucked it up and realized how he felt earlier, everything would be fine. He wouldn't be sitting on the beach, completely alone, wanting to scream curses into the air. He wouldn't want to strangle imaginary shoulder consciences. He wouldn't wish that he was the one sitting there with that stupid "I'm in love" smile plastered across his face.
Tidus fell over, lying onto his back. His head hit the sand rather hard, but he didn't care. His eyes slowly blurred over, but eventually his vision returned to its perfection, and the stars came into view. It was a lovely night for her to express her feelings. Tidus frowned. Almost too lovely, too perfect. He remembered his earlier conversation with Gippal, and Gippal's advice to thwart Yuna's plan.
Tidus sat up quickly, wondering if it really was too late. Could he simply find where they were, march between them, and cry out that he really did like Yuna? Tidus fell back to the sand, his head hitting hard again. Of course it was too late. He'd seen the way she was dressed. She wasn't dressed with hopes of being thwarted. She was serious, and it was something he'd simply have to accept and get over, as her friend.
He looked up, staring at the orange moon that hung low in the sky, casting off a very bright picturesque view across the ocean. It was a night of romance, something he'd already previously seen sparkled throughout Gippal and Rikku's eyes. He'd sensed it in Yuna's as well, although she'd been trying hard to hide it. He figured it was glowing in Baralai's eyes too. Baralai's dumb eyes, Tidus was sure to add in his head.
Tidus threw on a pout. Baralai wasn't bad looking, but Tidus knew he was much better looking. Besides, Tidus realized not long ago that he'd seen Baralai before, at the dork camp across from blitz camp. It bothered Tidus to know that Yuna was in love with such a dork, but Tidus had to remind himself that a dork was probably what Yuna desired. Tidus almost laughed to himself. If it was a dork she wanted, she'd probably chosen the right one. But even if she had begged Tidus to give in and be a dork too, he wouldn't have. Not even for Yuna.
Crossing his arms as a cold breeze swept off of the ocean, Tidus closed his eyes. He wondered where Yuna and Baralai were. Were the on the beach as well? Perhaps he shouldn't be, for he would probably feel sick if they walked up on him, unsuspecting. Either that, or he would lose it and ruin the night for Yuna, which was something he definitely did not want to do. It needed to be a great night for her, a night she'd remember. He didn't know what her plans were exactly, but whatever they were, they needed to go flawless.
Tidus couldn't help but feel torn as he realized that he had a sudden urge to follow the two, to do whatever he could to make sure things were going according to plan. Perhaps he could sing a nice romantic song for them. Or perhaps he could lead them to a romantic area. Or perhaps he could… Tidus trailed. He knew the best thing he could do was to stay as far away from them as possible. They would probably want some alone-time, after all.
A twinge of worry went through his stomach, as he wondered how the rest of the trip was going to go. Actually, he grew even more worried as he realized that this new relationship could change his entire summer. Yuna wouldn't just be there anymore. Who knew, perhaps she'd even leave town to be closer to Baralai. Tidus' stomach began to hurt. How he'd taken her for granted!
Tidus almost pulled his phone out to call Dona. Wasn't she in Kilika or Luca, or one of those places? He could be there by boat in just an hour or so. He could spend the rest of the summer with her.
Thinking of Dona simply made Tidus' stomach more pained, so he quickly brushed her out of his head. He was done using her as his comfort object. He wasn't going to see her again, and that was how it had to be. He quickly pulled his cell phone out, and to prove this, deleted her number.
Then, with a sigh, he placed his phone back in his pocket, and returned to the frenzied state he was in.
He wondered what step Yuna and Baralai were on. Had Yuna taken his hands yet? Had she dropped the l-word yet? Had they kissed yet? Perhaps he needed to spy on them. Perhaps he needed to see them. Perhaps he needed to… Tidus sighed again. He had to remain where he was and stop thinking about it.
He sat up, momentarily deciding to go find that blitz team. He needed something, anything. Anybody. He glanced toward the village, the lights from the village fires still visible. It would be easy for him to sneak into their little groups. Who knew, he could find somebody perfect for him. Then, he could walk up the next morning with a girl in his arms.
Tidus' eyes burst open. That was it! He'd make Yuna jealous!
Tidus instantly fell back down. Jealous of what? She had what she wanted. She wouldn't be jealous of some whore he'd picked up. She hadn't been jealous of Rikku, after all.
Tidus took a large gulp of air and then let it exit his mouth slowly. Perhaps he needed to go to bed. In the morning, he could figure out what had happened. In the morning, he could pack his bags and get out of there.
Perhaps, he even told himself, it wasn't too late to sign for up for blitz camp. Things seemed a lot less stressful when he wasn't there.
His eyes closed again. Was it just last summer he'd ran around, doing whatever he pleased, with Gippal faithfully at his side, and Dona around whenever he needed her? People had always surrounded him back then. Teammates… He didn't even have teammates anymore! Tidus opened his eyes slowly. Was it just him, or was his life slowly falling apart? He had no team, no friends, no Yuna… Tidus shook his head, not caring that sand was inching its way into his hair. His life wasn't falling apart. It was just Yuna. Just some girl. Just Yuna…
Tidus was about to stand up. He needed to get wasted. He needed to wake up in the morning and not remember a single thing that had happened that week. And then he could go home. He didn't care how he got there, but he had to go. He had to go home. He had to find a girlfriend, he had to find friends…Perhaps he'd even adopt a dog. Brutus had been nice enough. He smiled momentarily, thinking that perhaps Yuna would want to come over and play with Brutus. His smile faded instantly though, for he reminded himself that people changed when they fell in love. Gippal was a prime example.
Tidus closed his eyes once more. He was defeated. He had lost. His mind drifted back to his senior year of high school, and his undefeated blitzball record. As that record showed, he wasn't used to losing.
"Damn you Yuna," Tidus muttered under his breath, "Damn you love. Damn you Gippal. Damn you Rikku. Damn you Besaid. And most importantly, damn you stupid-know-it-all Baralai. I should have dropped that water balloon on you last year at camp when I had the chance."
"Is it really fair to bring Gippal and Rikku into this?"
Tidus jumped, his eyes flashing open. He turned to his side, only to see Yuna kneeling there, a slight smile on her face.
"Damn Yuna, don't sneak up on me like that!" Tidus cried, but his eyes shone bright. What was she doing?
"I'm sorry," Yuna said, "But you already damned me, remember?"
"How long have you been there?" Tidus asked, his voice shaking slightly.
"A little while," Yuna said, "You seem confused. Something bothering you?"
Tidus couldn't help but stare into her eyes. How did she act as if nothing was going on?
"Why are you here?" Tidus asked, the first question that popped into his mind.
Yuna continued to smile her slight smile, and she shrugged and said, "I don't know. It's nice out here."
"Why aren't you with Baralai?" Tidus shot the next question that came to mind.
Yuna shrugged and said, "Would you rather I was with him?"
"Well no, or…Well, I…" Tidus trailed.
Yuna laughed and said, "I'm done talking to him."
"Oh no, did he turn you down?" Tidus asked, sitting completely erect, "Look Yuna, I'll go tell him how awesome you are, and then maybe he'll—."
Yuna laughed again, interrupting Tidus' words, and said, "He didn't turn me down."
"Oh," came Tidus' short answer.
"You seem disappointed," Yuna said, smiling.
"Not disappointed," Tidus said quickly, "Just confused. Where is he?"
"At his house," came Yuna's answer.
"Why aren't you with him?"
Yuna shrugged and said, "Should I be?"
"Well…" Tidus shook his head, but then nodded, but then shook his head again. She was confusing him.
She laughed at him, and said, "We talked for a while, and I told him how I felt."
"Just like I told you to?" Tidus asked, not sure if he was hopeful or not.
"…Not exactly," came Yuna's answer, "I told him that I had feelings for him when we younger. He told me that he had feelings for me too."
"Okay, great," Tidus said, "Then what?"
Yuna shrugged and said, "I told him that I had really missed him, and he said that he had missed me too."
"Okay, great," Tidus repeated himself, "And then…?"
"And then I said that I was glad I got to see him again, and he said that he was glad to see me again as well."
Tidus couldn't seem to take the suspension anymore, so he formed his own ideas. "And then you kissed?" he asked.
Yuna laughed and said, "No."
"Why not?" Tidus asked, feeling more and more confused.
"Because," Yuna said, swallowing, "We both had feelings for each other from back when we were kids!"
"Yeah, but don't you still?" Tidus asked.
Yuna gave him a small smile, and she said, "Well, we thought we did."
"Great, then go back to him and—."
Yuna cut him off. "Is that what you want me to do, Tidus?" she asked him, her voice slow, careful.
Tidus' eyes met hers, and he found it impossible to read her. He swallowed and said, "I have no part in this."
Yuna didn't say anything. She just continued to stare into his eyes, making him almost shift uncomfortably.
He controlled himself and said, "What I want is what you want. If you like him, go for it. That's what I'd want."
Yuna looked at the ocean out before her, taking her eyes away from Tidus'. "What if that's not what I want," she said softly.
"Then I'd have to ask you what it is exactly that you want," Tidus said, in a sad attempt to keep his cool. He felt a mixture of happiness that she wasn't with Baralai, but yet a wave of frustration. She was making this very difficult for him.
Yuna moved her lips, but no sound emerged. He wondered if she was having a difficult time as well.
Finally, Yuna licked her lips, and said, "I want you."
Tidus blinked a few times. She refused to look at him, instead focusing her attention straight out in front of her. Tidus wished he could push an instant-replay option, like refs did when they were unsure of a blitz call. Had she really just said that? Had those three simple words just emerged from her mouth?
"Well then," Tidus said, getting a hold of himself again, "In that case, then I want you too."
Yuna's head instantly snapped to the side, meeting his eyes with hers again. She seemed completely shocked, as if she had never expected to hear those words come from Tidus' mouth. Perhaps she too was begging for an instant-replay option.
The two just sat there, completely in silence. Finally, with her cheeks completely crimson, Yuna sat up straight like Tidus, and took her hands in his. Although she was trying to conceal it, she had a huge cheeky smile across her face, and she said, "Tidus, I love you!"
Tidus laughed loudly and said, "Yuna, that only works when we're standing!"
Yuna's smile instantly faded, and she looked sad.
Still laughing, Tidus said, "When you're sitting like this, it goes like this." He dropped her hands and leaned back slightly, and cupped her face with his hand. She seemed shocked at his touch, but she didn't pull away or move at all.
Dropping his voice low, Tidus said, "Yuna, I love you," and gently pulled her toward him, until their lips met.
It was a soft, gentle kiss as the one had been before, but when they pulled away, Yuna didn't yell or act flustered. The two simply gazed into each other's eyes, in the warm glow of the orange moon.
"So, Yuna," Tidus said after a while, "How was that for a first kiss?"
Yuna laughed and said, "Second, you mean?"
"I thought the first didn't count!"
"Well, you made Gippal pay you, didn't you?" Yuna asked, laughing, "That was low of you, Tidus, to bet that you could kiss me."
Tidus' smile faded and he said, "I know it was. Want me to split the money with you?"
"No," came Yuna's reply, "Was that the whole reason you did it?"
"Of course not!" came Tidus' answer, "I was showing you what to do with Baralai, remember?"
Yuna looked down and said, "Is that the only reason?"
Tidus gave her a thoughtful look, before he finally answered, "I don't know."
Yuna laughed and said, "How can you not know?"
"You're complicated, Yuna," Tidus said, "I don't know why I do what I do when I'm around you."
"And the second kiss…?"
"Meant something," Tidus finished for her, and he gave her a cheeky smile and stood up, "Now that one I know for sure."
Yuna was motionless. For some reason, she was having trouble fathoming what had just happened in the last ten minutes. Was Tidus…hers? And she…his? She sat there, uncertain as to what to do, uncertain as to how everything worked.
Tidus raised one of his eyebrows, looking at her rather confused, and said, "You okay?"
Yuna found herself feeling momentarily shocked at his question, but she finally looked away from him, and asked her the question that was on her mind. "When you say love," she started softly, still unable to look at him, "What exactly do you mean?"
"It's a meaningless word," Tidus said, his expressions suddenly sharp, almost angry. His reply didn't surprise Yuna at all, however.
"So when you say you love me," Yuna continued, her voice still soft and her eyes still unable to meet his, "You don't mean it."
To her surprise, Tidus laughed, and he squatted down next to her.
"I don't believe in love," he said quickly, although Yuna noticed doubt in his eyes when he said that, "But if I did, you would be the reason why."
Yuna thought her heart was going to stop. Was that a rehearsed line or one he'd said just for her?
Noticing the alarmed look in Yuna's eyes, Tidus' smile fell and he said, "What?"
Yuna sighed, knowing she had to be honest with him.
"How many times have you said that to someone?" she asked, her eyes serious as she was finally able to look at him.
Tidus laughed again and said, "I promise Yuna, that line? Never."
Yuna smiled a little smile at him, and said, "So what do you usually tell the ladies?"
Tidus suddenly leaned close to her, causing her to almost lean backwards, and said, "I can't tell you."
"Why not?" Yuna cried, pouting.
"Because," Tidus said, "It's my secret."
"Because you don't want me to recognize when you tell it to me."
Tidus looked at her thoughtfully and said, "No, it's because I don't even know what I say."
Yuna shook her head and said, "I know better."
Tidus sighed loudly, saying, "It's not like that, Yuna. You have no idea how much I—." Tidus stopped. Even now he was having a difficult time. He swallowed loudly and took a deep breath, and continued, "You have no idea how much I like you."
His words took Yuna aback. Her eyes searched him, searching for any sign of a lie, any sign of a jest. She found none.
"Tidus," she breathed softly, "I don't know if I can trust you or not."
She was surprised to hear his laughter in response.
"I don't blame you," he said, amusement in his voice, "But you just have to. Really, you do."
Yuna gave him a meek little smile, and she said, "Right, you don't lie, after all."
"Exactly," Tidus said, smiling incredibly wide.
"True, you tell people you love them when you don't even think love exists…"
"Well, Rikku and Gippal seem to be proving me wrong on that," Tidus said with an eye roll, "Have you heard how many times they coo about how much they love each other?"
Yuna laughed and said, "I think love is real."
A slight half smile appeared on Tidus' lips, and he said, "Do you think you love me?"
Yuna's cheeks blushed, but she said, "It's a possibility."
"Well then, maybe I'll make an exception to my theory," Tidus said, "Maybe I think I do love you."
"Maybe?" Yuna asked, as she hid a smile.
"Maybe," came Tidus' answer. With that, he leaned toward her again, and once more, their lips pressed tightly together in the soft glow of the orange moon.