Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King so please don't sue me. I will not be responsible for any sudden bursts of tears that this fic may cause or the up and down feelings that you may experience from reading this.

Chapter 7 – Birthmarks or scars

The two of them continued on their journey along the old, beaten path. Hao and Anna were in the saddle again, but this time he was seated in the front with her behind him. She had her hands wrapped around his waist and she was quietly resting her cheek against his back. He was trying to sit up more straight in the saddle since they were around the same height and for her to be able to rest her head comfortably against his back. He had to make himself seem taller in the saddle.

The horse was slowly walking along the path. It would be soon that they would reach the spot so Hao thought that it'd be fine to let the horse slow its pace to rest itself for a bit. They had wasted plenty of time though they wouldn't arrive on time as he had originally planned. Anna still wasn't saying a word, but he could sense her thoughts. She was thinking about the dream that she had earlier and he leaned forward slightly, sighing. She lifted her head off his back to look at the back of his head.

"Is something wrong?" He suddenly straightened his back up realizing that she had noticed. He quickly looked over his shoulder at her and smiled reassuringly.

"It's nothing, just the sun starting to get to me." He turned his head to look forward again as they continued. "We'll be there soon." She nodded and rested her head back down onto his back.

"I know." She murmured against his back, confusing him a bit.

"Huh?" Her words had thrown him off guard for a moment.

"I don't know." She closed her eyes for a moment and opened them. "But I have this feeling that we'll be there soon." His eyes drifted shut again. She was slowly starting to remember. Once they reached there, there would be no turning back. The things that he was going to show her were either going to make her stronger with the truth or it is going to completely destroy her. He wrapped the reigns around the saddle horn and placed both of his hands over hers. He was a master horseman and used his legs to control the horse easily. He didn't let the fact that his body was that of a 15 year old boys stop him from showing off his horseman skills.

The past was a terrible thing and if he could, he would like to protect her from it. He didn't really want her to remember and yet he wanted her to remember. She had gone through a lot in her lives, but he understood all too well that living was never easy especially for them. There was a slight clenching feeling in his chest as he held in the gasp that he refused to let out. He didn't want to frighten her with his own damned emotions. Such human feelings as love were at times worth the same as fool's gold or at least that is what the Asakura family had always told him as a child.

He closed his eyes and his hands tightened around hers. He didn't want to remember. Everything was his fault that damned man's fault. His grandfather, the head of the Asakura household at the time. He had played with Anna's feelings, making her believe that he had died because of her. His hands continued to tighten around hers as he fought the fever that had almost taken his life.

flashback

Hao was thrashing around in the bed and finally relaxed. He felt them stop touching him and he was relieved. He hated it when people touched him without his permission. They had no right to do that to him. He was an Asakura and what was his was no one else's. He wanted them to die for trespassing and touching what belonged to him.

"Anna." He couldn't see her anywhere, but he realized that his eyes weren't open so of course he wouldn't be able to see her, but when he willed them to open. They refused to open and he gritted his teeth together, not wanting to give into the tiredness that was sweeping through his body.

The servants left the room after Hao had finally settled down and the doctors went again to try to get some rest. If his fever didn't break soon, they would know the outcome of what was going to happen to the future master of the Asakura household. They left him to rest and checked on him occasionally, but only fate knew what was in store.

They couldn't help, but wonder what happened to the girl that had originally been the fiancée of Hao. They had tried to visit the girl to check on her health, but Hao's grandfather had turned them away. The household was very familiar with the blonde haired girl that had come to live amongst them. They felt bad that they were unable to do anything for her. They left quietly, returning to their rooms and waited for news of what was going to happen next.

Hao just wanted to fall asleep, to just go to bed and forget about it all, but one thing remained on his mind, Anna. He was tired and his body refused to listen. He could feel it, the fire burning inside of him. It was spreading and getting hotter by the minute, consuming him. He wanted to shout out in pain and yet somehow his lips refused to move. His throat felt dry.

He wanted to cry out for her, call out for Anna so that he could hold onto her hand. He wanted her to be there with him because it was consuming him. He wanted to feel her cool skin against his own. He wanted to try to kiss her again though she had been the one to kiss him that time. He wanted to know desperately if it was real or that he had just imagined it. Somewhere in the far reaches of his mind, that she had really kissed him. The feel of her was always cool yet humanly warm, womanly warm, her moods having always been cold toward everyone. He suddenly wanted to go swimming with her in the cool water at their spot. Their spot, they had just been there. He could faintly remember it or was it the pain that was coursing throughout his body. He could only feel the heat.

'I want to be with her.' He heard himself saying. An image appeared before him and faded away into the storm. It was as if it was becoming a tornado, sweeping up everything in its path and it was heading toward him. He didn't want to lose. He needed to get back to her. 'I want to be with her.' He heard himself speaking into the wind. It was as if the gale heard his voice as it continued to spiral toward him, but it did not sweep him up in its path. It seemed to react to his words as a whirling gust of wind blew against his already hot skin. It seemed to cool his burning flesh. 'Thank you, Great Spirit.' He said as his eyes finally opened.

No one was in the room and he tried to stand, but he wasn't even able to sit up in the bed. Instead he rolled out of the bed, but when he tried to stand, moving away from the edge of the bed. His legs gave out from under him and he hit the floor, but he used his arms to brace his head before it hit the ground. He hoped that he wasn't making too much noise as his breathing began to quicken as he tired to stand once again.

He grabbed a hold of the small table off to the side and pulled himself to his feet. Sweat was slowly dripping off from his brow, it was still hot, but he wasn't going to let that stop him. He wanted to see her and he wasn't going to let his own body stop him. He wanted to know that she was all right, that she had really woken up, that she had finally come back to him. His tennyo, he remembered. He tried to smile, but found it even more tiring to do so. He braced himself against everything along the way, stopping to take breaks and sit on the floor as he waited for his body to listen. Then he'd continue on his way toward her room. He knew that it was where she was; he could feel it even through all the heat that was running through him.

Anna's vision was hazy as her hand rested on the dagger that lied next to her. She hadn't picked it up, but her hand was lying on top of the handle. Hao was dead and it was all her fault. She could hear the voices crying in her head to just grab a hold of the dagger and bury it in her heart before the pain could reach it. She was in shock and the news was still settling in her mind. It hadn't found its way to her heart yet because if it would have. She would still be crying now. She didn't even know if she had any more tears left to shed. He was dead because of her. Nothing remained anymore, the voices returning again. They were telling her to just end it all. Her parents were already dead and now he was too.

She didn't know the truth about anything. She had blacked out at that time after creating a demon from her mind. It was that same demon that had gone and killed her parents without her knowing it. She had never been able to control the thoughts that ran through her head at times, the voices that seemed to occupy her mind. It was only when she was with Hao did it seemed that the voices didn't exist. They never came when she was with him. It was as if the voices were afraid of him and that Hao was protecting her from them, but he was no longer there to protect her from the voices. There was no longer a reason for her to live.

Her eyes unclouded and her hand tightened around the handle. She didn't want to live anymore. It wouldn't matter if she were to kill herself or not. She knew the Asakura family would take her life and that it was better to take her own life. It was the only way to restore what little honor that remained in her family's name. They weren't of great birth like the Asakura's, but she refused to be the one to tarnish her family's name. Death seemed to be the only way out; it was the last and final answer to everything.

She looked from the dagger in her hand to her other arm and brought the blade against her skin, not quite piercing the pale skin. She could see her rugged reflection in the blade; it was an image that she would never forget. It was a crazy madwoman staring back at her. Hao would have never approved of the girl in the blade, but he was no longer here to try and tell her what to do. She would be joining him soon and that was all that mattered. She brought the blade down, slicing into her smooth skin. Appearances can be deceiving because though her skin might appear delicate, it really wasn't. She had the body of a trained Itako even if she was still in training, a body that wielded a Shaman's capabilities. She knew that it wouldn't be enough to end her life.

She could feel it, the pain in her arm, her nerves feeling the sharp piece of metal that was penetrating its core. She wanted to end it soon. She didn't want to feel anything, not the pain of losing her parents, not the pain of losing Hao, not even the pain of her own death. It was only the tip of the blade that entered her skin. The blood was slowly starting to trickle down her arm and onto her leg. She took a moment to ready herself. Her grip tight around the handle, her mind set on ending it all. There was no one to stop her, not even Hao.

She knew that he would have been the only one that would have tried to stop her. He was the only one that had ever truly cared about her for being herself even if she was bossy most of the time, but as often as she bossed people around. He would tell her that it made her interesting and though she didn't understand it at first. She later realized what he meant. She was different, not like the typical girl that trained at the Asakura household and that is why he liked her so much. She had a head of her own on her shoulders and an attitude to match his.

Though she had laughed and smiled with him many times. She knew that she would never be able to see his stupid smile again. Without realizing it, she felt her eyes begin to mist over, but she didn't want to cry anymore. She just wanted to end it all. With these thoughts in mind, it gave her the courage for what she was about to do. She was going to end it all. Her grip remained tight around the handle as she steadied the blade and she readied herself as she was going to thrust the blade deeper across her arm in one fluid motion. She only hoped that she wouldn't feel anything as she bleed to death, as her soul would leave her body. She only hoped that Hao would be there waiting for her, only to take her into his embrace like he so rarely did and this time. She wouldn't slap or hit him for it. Instead she would return his embrace and be thankful that he had really waited for her.

Hao sat on the ground a few feet away from Anna's door. There was a bar on her door. He could see it from where he sat though his gaze was not steady. He hadn't remembered there being such a contraption on her door before. He didn't know why anyone would have put one on her door. He didn't see the purpose of it as he leaned heavily against the wall and continued toward her door. It was an old Japanese traditional house and the doors were mostly made out of thin paper. He wasn't about ready to let that stop him. He was the future master of the Asakura household and he knew then and there. She was worth more to him than it all. He meant to take a running leap through the door, but somehow it ended up that his legs still weren't working right. So instead he fell in through the door and landed on top of the tattered door.

Anna was sitting there ready to plow the dagger deeper into her arm when a sudden crash at the door drew her attention. She quickly looked up and over at the door. Lying on top of the door was Hao. She couldn't believe it. Was she already dead, she wondered. Had Hao finally come back to her, but as she looked down at her already bleeding arm. She knew that she wasn't dead. She wasn't an idiot after all. She knew what had happened. Hao's grandfather had played her for a fool. She dropped the dagger and ran over to him.

Hao was trying to sit up. He couldn't see Anna though he knew that he had come into her room.

Small hands wrapped around his arms and helped him to sit up. He was fixing to push whoever it was away when he smelt a familiar scent, a womanly scent. It was Anna.

"Hao." His name came trembling out from her mouth confirming to him that he had been right. He reached out and had to feel his way around her so that he was able to pull her close to him. It was then that he caught the scent of blood.

"Anna, are you bleeding?" She quickly pulled her arm away and tried to hide it. His vision cleared for a second and he noticed the cut on her arm. "What happened?" His eyes continued to dart around the room. He couldn't quite see her, his vision continuing to blur one minute and become clear the next. He caught images of the dagger lying on the floor not too far from where they sat.

He suddenly realized what she had been doing, that she had been trying to kill herself. His powers were kicking in again without him really even trying. He could easily read her mind and what had happened. It was his grandfather, he had provoked her to kill herself or he would kill her.

"I'll never allow it."

"What?" She didn't understand what he was talking about.

"Anna, take me to the doctors so that we can get you fixed up."

"But you're the one that isn't well, Hao. You shouldn't be up." He noticed that she was beginning to act more like her old self, the bossy side kicking back in. She was really just looking out for him. She helped him to his room and summoned the doctors again. She sat by his bedside as the doctors checked up on him after checking out and bandaging Anna up first at the insistence of Hao. His grandfather never returned to his room to see him after the doctors had gone to report about Hao's current state that he would be okay though he still had a fever.

Anna stayed by his side for the next two weeks. While Hao slept, she was able to bath silently from a basin nearby. Hao had instructed her not to leave his side no matter what until he had fully recovered. She ended up being the one to help bath Hao from a basin and when they finally brought in a tub for him. The water reached past his hips and he wore a towel so that she wouldn't be afraid to wash him. He enjoyed every minute of it and she knew that he liked it. It was a duty that she would eventually have to perform, but for two 14 year olds to be doing that. It wouldn't have been accepted until they had been married.

If given those events hadn't turned out as they were. Hao and Anna would have been married at 16 according to the Asakura's tradition. 14 was an acceptable age to get married for them, but the Asakura's usually married at 16. Hao completely recovered with Anna by his side, but both of them retained scars from their experience. The events that had transpired were rarely mentioned again as they were able to continue on their lives. It was almost as if none it had happened, but Hao knew better to leave Anna around with his grandfather. He couldn't trust the Asakura's and he made it his duty to always watch out for her, he didn't want to lose her.

end of flashback

Hao's grip on her hands loosened and he slowly began to run his thumbs across her hands. He slowly ran his hands up and down her arms, moving a little lower and lower until he came to it. The faint discoloration of the skin that lined across her wrist, it was a scar. If he had asked her about it, she would have said that it was a birthmark. He wanted to talk to her about it, but he knew that she wouldn't know anything about it. At least she would soon remember it. He wrapped his hands again tightly around hers and closed his eyes, once again feeling the dreaded feeling of being ripped away from her.