A/N: ME BE SPAZZY ASS WHO BARKS LIKE A CORN CAKE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! XD
Ed: O.O
Me: FRUIT SALAD YUMMY YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Emmie-Chan ( she's a friend of mine ): Could someone just frickin' start the story before Chi goes all Harry Potter psycho all over again?
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HARRY'S GLASSES HAVE A GLARE!!!!!!!!!!! IT BURNSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RON!!!!!!!!!! QUICK!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE THIS BOTTLE OF FELIX FELICIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O.O - spazzes -
Everyone: O.O
Emmie-Chan: Too late...ROLL THE STORY!!!!!!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist. I already talked this over with dear Emmie-Chan and she said that if I burned the patent, I would be burning the cow. - seeks icing-filled revenge on cow - I also do not own Sanjaya, the Telletubbies, and any song/and or person I have mentioned in this story. Except for Naomi and Lori. They're MY creations. XDDDD
Random Drabbles of an Asian Girl
Written by: Chi-Chan
Chapter 2: Naomi and the Dream
Naomi stood in the middle of a vast, open, field. The birds were chirping, the cute and cuddly animals were frolicking, and the scent of hamster shit was in the air.
"Aaahh! This is the life..." She sighed dreamily, deeply inhaling the pungent smell of rodent crap. She let herself fall back first onto the pure, green, grass, the oh-so soft and comfy grass made of marshmallows, cotton candy, licorice whips, butter cream roses, POT, crack, margarita mix, dark chocolate fudge, candy canes, and Sanjaya, oh yes, a LOT of Sanjaya ( no offence to Sanjaya and Sanjaya lovers everywhere ). She let out another deep, happy, sigh as she plucked one of the thin blades of grass.
Oh how she loved to chew on the damned things! After it was thoroughly examined by her clear blue eyes, she smiled thoughtfully before stating "Aw, what the hell!...", and before you could say SanjayaslovakiahubbabubbaIwantmymoneybackcuzIspent1wholecenttowatchthatSanj- yadudeonAmericanIdolanditsowasn'tworthitMalakar ( again, I am very sorry for this, but Emmie-Chan loved it and there-fore I was forced to put this in T.T ), she yanked a handful of grass and fiercely shoved the fearfully large helpings into her mouth.
"Mmm..." she whispered, closing her eyes as she continued to devour the grass by doing a strange chewing imitation of a cow ( oh how Ed would LOVE to make love to a cow ). The chewy, addicting, grass tasted just like she had imagined it, lavender and lilac, with a little hint of hamster droppings. Once again, she sighed.
"Ahh...this is the good life!" she smiled serenely. Just then, a rustling sound came from not too far from where she lied. Naomi shot up, looking alarmed. "The hell?" she asked, looking around worriedly. There it was again!, only this time, it sounded nearer. Soon it occurred to her. Someone else was here to.
She got to her feet, and soon enough, the sound came closer, becoming clearer as though feet were running through the grass. It seemed pretty much the same, except that it was now saying something which sounded like someone was calling out her name.
She stared, her eyes filled with fear at a line of purple, red, green, and yellow, a rather odd combination, that seemed to be dancing right in front of her eyes! It was nearing her, quickly she shut her eyes. Then, the noise had ceased. Assuming that she was alone again, she looked up.
"Eh oh!!!" the colors said waving to her, face to face. She screamed.
"AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Naomi yelled in horror, bolting upright. "THE TELLETUBBIES ARE COMING!!! THEIR GONNA EAT ME ALIVE!!!...huh?" she asked looking around. The shock-filled faces of her bewildered co-workers stood before her, staring at her as though she announced that she had finally decided to participate The Digimon Lovers Society by posing as a plus-sized Digimon wearing a string bikini.
"Umm...hi?" Lori said, not taking her eyes off of Naomi's terror-struck face.
"Uhh...hehe...are they gone yet?" she asked, whimpering and retreating herself beneath the blanket she had been given after she had passed out. They all just stared at her.
"That reminds me Lori, I haven't seen Envy, Roy, Armstrong, and Al for a while." Ed said, turning to his beloved. "Where are they?"
As if on cue, the lights blacked out, leaving nothing in sight but pitch-black darkness. After a short amount of wasted time, a flash of light appeared, seeming to brighten up the view for a small moment. Wincing at the painful sight of light, they all looked ahead. The light was set onto a stage that must have mystically appeared in front of them.
"Since when the hell did that get there? Ed asked, staring confused at the sight of the stage before them.
"Attention all under-challenged bitches and mentally scarred bastards!" a voice boomed from above. "I now bring to you, the finest in all entertainment, THE FULLMETAL STRIPPAS!!!" A puff of smoke clouded the stage as "Sexy Back" began playing in the backround. When the smoke finally cleared, Armstrong, Roy, Al, and Envy appeared onto the stage wearing their trusty, multi-colored spandex ( or in this case, tight fitting speedos ), which caused outrage in many countries at that very moment.
"Oh yeah! I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurtsss!" Roy sang out, horribly out of tune and dragging the "S" at the end. He ripped of his shirt while doing a really disgraceful dance which seemed to be cross between the macarena and fucking a female kangaroo.
"YOSH! You said it you dirty sex pistol!!!" Armstrong bellowed, grinning in Roy's direction as he too, stripped himself of his shirt and began flexing his awfully sickening muscles, and sparkling, you can NEVER forget the sparkling.
Al on the other hand, decided to take every damn thing off except for his "lucky" red thong from the previous chapter, which was still frickin' wet from the strangely colored toilet water, and started frolicking in the nude, as if he were a unicorn prancing through the meadows with a deep appreciation for Justin Timberlake ( again, sorry 'bout that. ).
And Envy, how could we EVER forget Envy. Well, he decided to do a slick poll dance while smoothly rubbing the cantaloupe across his chest and humming "My Humps". I know, sick, isn't it?
Ed, Lori, and the now Telletubby resistant Naomi, were now cringing in fear at the scary sight that would make children cry, adults shake, and lollipops go running down town. Strangely, no matter how hard they tried, they just couldn't take their eyes off of the nude, badly dancing, deafening singing, cantaloupe humping, showoffs. Perhaps they didn't try hard enough, but they soon gave up and gave in to watching their creepy friends do their "thang" on the light shone stage.
"Someone...please...take my life this very moment..." Lori said like she was in a trance as she handed Ed a plastic spoon.
to be continued...
A/N: HARRY!!!!!!!!! NOOOO!!!!!!!!! - twitch - -twitch -
Emmie-Chan: O.O
Ed: She's a Harry Potter nerd...
Me: HARRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone: O.O - complete silence -
Emmie-Chan: Okay then? O.o well, please review! And please, review or else we will never cease to see Chi go Harry Potter hyper. So I beg you, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!! - sob -
Me: lalallalalalalalalaHARRYPOTTERlalalalalalalalala