After the last song, Mattysen went back to check on Abbey. To her happiness, the formerly heartbroken teenager was better now; her eyes were bright and determined.

"I can't let Billy hold me back from continuing the show any longer. I'm back in business, baby!" Abbey said to no one in particular. She hopped back onstage to a couple welcoming claps from the friendlier prisoners.

"I missed doing this, guys. How was having my friends as hosts?" she asked her audience. Most of the people in the auditorium sighed inexpressively, while others gave scared whimpers, and even a couple let out a contented sigh. "Well, that's good… I guess. Let's continue!"

Abbey got out her clipboard and examined it intently. She picked out the members she needed and popped a CD into its player. "Because this is physically impossible to play on the piano," Abbey said.

"Now, the couples for this song are totally screwed up, but this is the best way it could work out. So live with it." She pressed the 'play' button and signaled for the victims on the stage to begin.

Haru (spoken):
Who died?

Jet (spoken):
Our akita

Aang, Zuko, Haru, and Sokka (spoken):
Evita

Jet:
You make fun, yet I'm the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia's
a fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta
Bohemia is dead

Aang:
Dearly beloved, we gather here to say
our goodbyes

Sokka and Zuko:
Dies Ira, Dies Illa
Kyrie Eleison
Yitgadal V' Yitkadash

Aang:
Here she lies,
No one knew her worth
The late great daughter of Mother Earth
On these nights when we celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass
You bet your ass to...
La Vie Boheme

All:
La Vie Boheme
La Vie Boheme
La Vie Boheme
La Vie Boheme

Aang:
To days of inspiration,
Playing hooky, making something
Out of nothing, the need
To express to communicate,
To going against the grain,
Going insane,
Going mad
To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension,
To starving for attention,
Hating convention, hating pretension,
Not to mention of course,
Hating dear old mom and dad
To riding your bike
Midday past the three piece suits
To fruits, to no absolutes
To Absolut, to choice
To the Village Voice
To any passing fad
To being an us for once,
Instead of a them

All:
La Vie Boheme
La Vie Boheme

Toph and Katara are sprawled over a table making out (acting it out, I mean!). Ozai is staring at them harshly.

Ozai:
Ahemm

Toph (spoken):
Hey Mister... She's my sister

Iroh:
So that's five miso soup,
Four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner,
Two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls

Zuko (spoken):
Eww

Sokka (spoken):
It tastes the same

Mai (spoken):
If you close your eyes

Iroh:
And thirteen orders of fries
Is that it here?

All:
Wine and beer!

Mai and Haru:
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, To curry Vindaloo
To Huevos Rancheros, and Maya Angelou

Toph and Sokka:
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion,
Creation, Vacation

Aang:
Mucho masturbation

Toph and Sokka:
Compassion, to fashion, to passion
When it's new

Sokka:
To Sontag

Haru:
To Sondheim

Mai, Haru, Toph, and Sokka:
To anything taboo

Sokka and Zuko:
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage

Sokka:
Lenny Bruce

Zuko:
Langston Hughes

Toph:
To the stage!

Katara:
To Uta

Mai:
To Buddha

Toph and Katara:
Pablo Neruda, too

Aang and Mai:
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em

All:
La Vie Boheme

Ozai (spoken):
Sisters?

Toph and Katara (spoken):
We're close

Haru and Sokka:
Brothers!

Aang, Haru, and Mai:
Bisexuals, trisexuals, Homo Sapiens,
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men,
Pee Wee Herman
German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein
Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa
Carmina Burana

All:
To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy
Vaclav Havel, The Sex Pistols, 8BC
To no shame, never playing the fame game

Sokka:
To marijuana

All:
To sodomy
It's between God and me
To S&M

Jet:
Waiter, Waiter, Waiter!!

All:
La Vie Boheme

Sokka (spoken):
In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner... Maureen Johnson, just back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot, will perform Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello- Which she ain't never studied.

Zuko (spoken):
And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on high holy days.

Aang (spoken):
and Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn chair/handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred

And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song

Zuko picked up a guitar and started to play.

That doesn't remind us of 'Musetta's Waltz'

Sokka (spoken):
Angel Dumott-Schunard will model her latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10-gallon plastic pickle tub.

Haru (spoken):
And Collins will recount his exploits as an Anarchist... Including the tale of
his successful reprogramming of the MIT virtual reality equipment to self-destruct as it broadcasts the words:

All (screamed):
'Actual Reality - ACT UP - Fight AIDS!'

Mai pulled Zuko aside from all of the others on stage. Katara (playing Joanne) broke character and was notably fuming.

Mai:
Excuse me, did I do something wrong?
I get invited, then ignored all night long

Zuko:
I've been trying, I'm not lying
No one's perfect, I've got baggage

Mai:
Life's too short babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine

Zuko:
I should tell you-

Mai:
I've got baggage, too

Zuko:
I should tell you--

Both:
Baggage-

All others:
Wine And Beer!

A box on Mai's waist beeped. She pressed the 'off' button and swallowed a pill that was pulled from her pocket.

Mai:
AZT break

Zuko:
You?

Mai:
Me. You?

Zuko:
Mimi

While some people were deeply disturbed by the song, everyone else in the audience clapped quite a bit. Abbey bowed, thinking they were clapping for her.

"It's good to be back," she said to herself. Abbey then turned to Ezekiel, who was smirking. "It's also good to have a bit of Maiko back on stage. We'll talk later about the stunt you pulled with Mattysen." She blew a kiss to her brother, then hopped on stage for the next number.