I had no idea so many people would like this story. :) So I'll try to keep it up to your expectation. :)
Title: The Switch; Chap: 2
Last Time I'll be saying it; I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or this scenario. :)
Thank you Night Imp & Pinay Tiger for beta-reading for me. :)
My cousin has informed me that one of my high school teachers' thought I always looked like I was waiting for someone to hit me. How . . . flattering. (Not).
...> Battousai's thoughts
'...' Kenshin's thoughts
'...' Normal people's thoughts :)
Kenshin rubbed his bruised cheek, trying to assess the damage. Megumi had put some salve on it, after she shook him into swirly-eyed mode.
Isn't there a law against roughing up a patient before healing him?> Kenshin sighed.
'She was just worried that I had told Sano about the conversation.' He grinned evilly. 'You must be getting soft to have been so affected by what she did.' Battousai glared.
Don't you dare insinuate that that weak woman hurt me. You were the one that was so dizzy you were spewing 'oros' like the fool you are. I really wish I wasn't stuck with you. If I was free then Kaoru would be mine by now.> Kenshin snorted.
'Believe me, the feeling is mutual.'
At least you're not stuck with a freakin' pansy! >Battousai raised his arms. Look at me! I'm stuck wearing a pink gi for crying out loud! And what's up with the "sessha" and "de gozaru"? No wonder we're never taken seriously!> He smirked. Well, at least you're not.> Kenshin took a deep breath in an attempt to remain calm. Why was Battousai able to get under his skin so easily?
As soon as he stepped through the dojo's gate he heard Kaoru's light laughter and his muscles relaxed. If Battousai was the only one who could rile Kenshin so easily, then surely Kaoru was the only one who could calm him just as well.
Battousai was too happy (in a sadistic manner) to see Sano at the dojo to contemplate the soothing powers of Kaoru's laughter. His lips moved into an evil smile. Ohh, this is perfect. Now I don't have to wait to exact my revenge.>
'Would you quit being so melodramatic? And you can't hurt Sano.' Battousai frowned and nodded his head.
You're right Kaoru wouldn't like that. I'll just have to wait until he's alone.> Kenshin shook his head.
"He'll never learn," he muttered.
"What did you say Kenshin?" The redheaded man looked up to see Kaoru staring at him. Kenshin put a hand behind his head and smiled his Rurouni grin.
"Oro. Sessha was just, uhh . . ." He racked his brain for an excuse that wouldn't sound like he was crazy. 'Battousai, if you had a shred of humanity in you, you'd help me out right now.' Battousai, however had become lost in his own perverted little world once his mind had wandered off of revenge and on to his love.
Have you ever noticed how Kaoru gets all sweaty and glowing after she trains? It makes her look kind of sexy, don't you think?> Kenshin had always thought there was a certain sweet glow about Kaoru after she trained. Whether it was sexy was debatable. However, Battousai's musings had given Kenshin an idea.
"Shessha was just commenting that you might like a bath." Kaoru looked at him doubtfully. She was sure he had said something else, but a bath did sound awfully nice so she decided not to push the matter.
"Thank you, Kenshin. A bath does sound nice." Kenshin nodded his head and scurried off before Kaoru decided she wanted to know what he really said.
.-.-.-.-.-
Sano walked up behind Kenshin as the redhead tossed the last of the firewood in the furo. Sano crossed his arms over his chest when Kenshin rose and dusted himself off.
"So do you mind telling me what that conversation at the clinic was about, Kenshin?"
Yes.> One of these days Kenshin was going to win and Battousai was actually going to shut up. But the way Kenshin's life ran it would probably be right before he died, or better yet after.
"Sessha is not able to say." Sano narrowed his eyes.
"I don't want to have to hit you again, Kenshin."
"Then don't," Kenshin spoke in a clipped voice. "Sano I know you love Megumi, but beating up every man you become jealous of is no way to impress her. You need to talk with her."
Sano looked at him speculatively. "Are you sure you're a guy?"
"Oro!"
'Is he saying that I'm I'm . . .' Kenshin shuddered, unable to finish the thought. 'Well Shishou always said I was very feminine and Kaoru-dono told me that I was more sensitive then most other men, but still that doesn't mean sessha isn't a man.'
Battousai, however, had decided that glaring daggers at a clueless Sano was more effective than agonizing needlessly over the situation. Watch it or I'll make you a non-man you nitwit. And you!> He swiveled around to point an accusing finger at Kenshin. Of course people confuse you for a woman! You look like a woman, you sound like a woman, for Kami's sake half the time you act like a woman. How many times have I told you to drop the sweet act and lose the pink gi? If you listened to me, things like this wouldn't happen so often . . .>
Kenshin was still to busy thinking about Sano's remark to listen to Battousai's nagging. 'What if . . . if Kaoru-dono thinks of me like that too? Maybe she asks me which kimono I prefer when we goes to town because she feels she's really getting another woman's perspective and not a man's. Oroo.' The last part of Kenshin's thoughts came out sounding more like a whimper than his usual surprised exclamation, causing Battousai to shake his head.
Pitiful. Absolutely pitiful.>
Sano waved a dismissive hand and sat down heavily. Kenshin followed him, only with more grace.
"Never mind." Several minutes passed before he spoke again. "So how am I supposed to talk with her when every time one of us opens up our mouth we end up fighting like cats and dogs?"
You could try actually thinking before you speak.> Battousai snickered. Or better yet, don't say anything at all.> Kenshin was trying to figure out how to delicately put the first smart suggestion his alter-ego had had all day when Sano spoke again.
"What makes you think you're such an expert about this anyway?"
Kenshin smiled mildly, "sessha would hardly call himself an expert, but I have been married before."
"Oh . . . well . . . yeah . . ." A calculating look started to grow in Sano's eyes, causing Kenshin to worry. "Hey Kenshin, if you have all this previous experience, what's your excuse for treating jou-chan the way you do?"
"Oro. Sano, what are you talking about? Sessha treats Kaoru-dono with the utmost respect." Sano waved a careless hand.
"That's real great and all, but if you want your relationship to progress, you need to get more aggressive."
Huh, the birdbrain actually said something smart for once. The next thing you know, Saito will announce that he doesn't care about the past and he wants to be friends.> Kenshin snorted.
'I think the chances of you shutting up are greater.' Battousai smirked.
If I have to suffer, you have to suffer.> Kenshin decided to leave his mental conversation when he realized Sano was still babbling.
". . . you can't impress jou-chan by being her slave." He leered at Kenshin. "Unless you were her love slave." Battousai perked up and poked Kenshin in the ribs.
Isn't that what I've been trying to tell you?> Kenshin coughed uncomfortably.
"Weren't we talking about you?" Sano scowled and repeatedly rubbed his thumb over a pebble he had picked up.
"So Mr. Expert, what do you suggest?" Kenshin sighed and decided to let the remark pass. His friend probably didn't even realize he was being insulting. It was just Sano being well, Sano. Which was part of the problem.
"For starters, perhaps considering what you say before you say it would be a good idea."
"Are you saying I don't think before I speak?" Kenshin coughed nervously.
"S-sometimes, you . . . um . . ." Kenshin cleared his throat and hurried up at the dangerous light forming in Sano's eyes. "Also when Megumi-dono says something don't be so quick to take offense. Think about what she's trying to tell you, or leave for awhile if you have to. And be prepared to apologize first." Sano pouted like a child denied candy.
"Why do I have to be the rational one?" he whined.
"Well somebody has to be," Kenshin shrugged, "so why not you?" He considered before speaking again. "Compliments would probably be a good idea too." Sano's pouting lessened slightly when he heard that.
"Now that I can do. I'm the champion of compliments."
Heh, you're probably also the record holder for receiving the most slaps after paying said "compliments".> Kenshin agreed and eyed Sano warily. He felt he should warn the other man that the quality of his compliments were very important but was worried that anymore advice might cause him to explode.
"Aren't you supposed to be making dinner?" Yahiko's voice appeared out of nowhere, scaring Sano out of his skin.
"Don't do that!" He took a swipe at the boy. "Brat almost gave me a heart attack." Sano rubbed his stomach. "He does have a point though. I've been hungry for the past hour." Kenshin shook his head and smiled.
"Sano you are always hungry."
"I am not!" Sano's tone was indignant, but his eyes held a jovial twinkle. After he and Kenshin stood up, the tall man jammed his hands in his pocket. "You should think about what I said, Kenshin."
Yahiko scrunched his eyebrows in a questioning manner and looked over at Kenshin. "What did he say?" The boy's face twisted in disgust when the ex-Rurouni blushed brightly and oroed. "Never mind, I don't think I want to know."
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Kenshin grabbed his bathrobe and some other bathing utensils before he set out to the bathhouse.
'You are unusually quiet tonight.'
What? Can't a guy think in peace? Besides you're the one always complaining that I talk too much. I should think you'd be grateful.> Kenshin thought Battousai's expression was entirely too innocent, but he was too tired to argue. Right now all he wanted was a hot bath and to go to bed. Which was probably why he didn't take notice of the presence on the other side of the shoji.
Kenshin's head was bent as he undid his gi, only raising it after he heard a startled gasp. Both the ex-Rurouni and his blue-eyed love were too shocked to move.
Mm. Koishii, I will be your love slave any time you want.> Battousai's eyes slowly traveled up her kendo-trained body and he gave a small pout. It's too bad she's wearing a towel though.> Kenshin struggled to fight off a nosebleed.
'W-we uh, we should leave that we should.'
Both personalities were oblivious to the familiar fire that leapt into the kendo instructor's eyes as she snapped out of her daze.
Why? I've seen the daydreams you've had of her. Don't forget that I live in you're head Mr. Pink Gi.>
'This is different. We're disrespecting Kaoru-dono's privacy. And if we don't hurry, she'll'
"Pervert!" Kaoru's fist smacked into said pervert's bruised cheek. "I can't believe you Kenshin!" She looked down at the fallen man, he wasn't uttering so much as a single oro.
Fear started to slither into Kaoru's belly. Usually he was sputtering nonsense by now, instead he was very quiet and his head was lying at an odd angle from where it had hit the wall. She crouched down and gently tapped Kenshin's cheek.
"Kenshin? Oh Kenshin please wake up." Tears started to gather in her eyes. It looked like she had gone to far this time. What if he had a concussion? 'Megumi-san will know what to do.' Kaoru was to busy to worry about the snide remarks the doctor would make when she found out how Kenshin got to be in this condition.
Kaoru quickly threw on a yukata and slowly dragged the unconscious man out the door. 'Ugh, for such a small man he certainly is heavy.'
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
"Hey! Anybody here?" Sano wandered into the different to confirm that yes, nobody was at the clinic. 'Strange that they should leave it unlocked if everybody is out.' He shrugged his shoulders. 'Oh well, so long as I'm here, I might as well take a bath.' Why spend valuable gambling money on a public bath when he could sneak one at a friend's place? Such was the logic of Sagara Sanosuke.
Whistling nothing in particular, the young man jammed his hands into his pockets and set off for the bathhouse. The whistle died on his lips as he opened the door to find Megumi with her kimono half-off. Megumi gasped and quickly wrapped the kimono back around her.
"Rooster what are you doing here!"
"Umm . . . uhh . . ." Sano struggled to remember his discussion with Kenshin. Didn't the man say something about compliments? "You have a great body, kitsune."
"What!" Megumi's face flushed with anger. "Sagara you are so dead!" And the next thing the ex-fighter knew the world was black.
.-.-.-.-.-.-
Kenshin opened his eyes then promptly closed them with a painful groan.
I feel like I was run over by a run-awaycarriage.>
'Kaoru-dono's never hit us that hard before. I guess we walked in on her one too many times.' Battousai grinned.
Yeah but it was worth it.> Kenshin mentally shook his head, not wanting to admit to such thoughts when a touch at his scalp caused him to open his eyes. Megumi quickly drew her hand out of his hair and flushed with uncharacteristic embarrassment.
What is people's fascination with my hair?> Kenshin ignored him and slowly sat up.
'Kaoru-dono must have brought me to the clinic.' He thought to himself once he recognized the room. Battousai grunted.
No kidding, genius.> Before he could respond to Battousai's remark, a cup of foul-smelling liquid was shoved into Kenshin's hands.
'Strange, I don't think I've ever seen such a small tea cup before.' He decided not to worry about it and drank the tea instead, gagging as the vile liquid slid down his throat.
"Well that's what you get for walking in on a lady while she's bathing." Megumi snapped haughtily. Kenshin's eyes widened and his face brightened from guilt.
'Oro. Kaoru-dono told her about that?'
"Well at least you have the decency to be ashamed of your actions." Kenshin flinched under her harsh tone.
"Sessha apologizes." Megumi narrowed her eyes and bent to stare atKenshin in an assessing manner.
"Don't think that talking like Ken-san will get you out of trouble."
"Oro. But Megumi-dono, sessha is Kenshin." Megumi stamped her foot.
"Stop it rooster!"
Rooster? But that's what she calls Sano.'
She's flipped, I always wondered when it would happen.> Both people turned when the shoji banged open and Yahiko ran in like the devil was after him.
"What?" Megumi snapped. Yahiko gave her a weird look.
"I-it's Kenshin, he seems to think he's Sano."
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Sano opened bleary eyes to find a petite woman curled up next to him on the floor. 'What's jou-chan doing here?' He put a hand to his head and groaned. 'Kitsune sure did a number on me. I wonder what I did wrong?' He heard Kaoru stirring next to him.
"You're awake, I was really worried about you." Kaoru regarded him with a mixture of anxiety and tenderness.
'Woah, she usually reserves that look for Kenshin.' "What are you doing here jou-chan?" Sano was too pre-occupied trying to figure out why his voice sounded so light to notice Kaoru's worried gaze.
"Are you all right?"
"Other than feeling like I got the stuffing beat out of me, yeah I'm fine. Why?" He wondered at the distress on her face.
"Well, I you were talking like Sano." Kaoru started to wring her hands. "Perhaps I shouldn't have hit you so hard but you did walk in on me while I was bathing!" She fixed him with a glare.
"I did not walk in on you! And why shouldn't I talk like Sano? I am Sano!" Kaoru's eyes widened in panic and she turned to Yahiko who was staring slack-jawed.
"Yahiko go get Megumi-san and tell her Kenshin is delusional!"
Sano closed his eyes against a wave of dizziness. 'Kenshin? If she thinks I'm Kenshin then she has a bigger bump on her head than I do.'
It's been awhile but at least I updated. :) I know this chapter isn't as funny as the last one but at least the finished product is better than the rough draft was.
Before I go any further I would like to say that I dedicate this story to my brother, Bushido2. He's the one who encouraged me to write it. :)
Recommended Fanfic: "He's a Woman, She's a Man" by Gracey. It's what inspired me to write this story. Well, that and "The Princess Bride." Don't ask.
MY REVIEWERS
EverKitsune What do you know? My first reviewer was a kitsune and my last reviewer was a kisune. :) I'm glad you liked the last chapter. You're the first one to put this story on your favorites! lol. Thanks for the review. :)
M.Kasshoku I can't believe you reviewed this story! It's such an honor. :) I'm glad you liked it. Yes, misunderstandings always make for a funny story. I know it's kind of weird but I've seen other stories where Kenshin gets jealous of Sano which is just as weird, so I figured I could get away with it. :D I'm looking forward to new stuff from you to. Thanks for reviewing. :)
donna8157 Wow, a review from another talented author. I don't know what I did to deserve this. :) I'm glad you liked it and I definitely plan on continuing it! Thanks for reviewing. :)
Dark Thorn White Rose I know its not soon, but better late than never, ne? Thanks for reviewing:)
Misao's angel Wow, I've never had someone thank me for writing a story before! I'm glad you liked it so much. Thanks for reviewing. :)
Torturer of the Month Actually I have had other reviews say something similar to "luv ya" before. Yes, it is very creepy. :) Well, here it is, the next chapter. Thanks for reviewing. :) I love you too sweetie!
gaby (hyatt I'm glad. Thanks for reviewing. :)
AngelicFairy You have such a pretty name. It definitely adds to a story! lol. Is Maura your real name? It's pretty. Thanks for reviewing. :)
hotohori I'm glad you liked it! I will! Thanks for reviewing. :)
Night-Owl123 Oh a night owl, eh? Cool. :) I know it isn't soon, but at least its an update. Better late than never right? Thanks for reviewing. :)
Saiyan Princess Why thank you so much. :) I hope you haven't given up on me already since I took so long. Thanks for reviewing. :)
Koneko Maiden Thank you, I was worried about the qaulity of it. I've seen other fics where Battousai talks like everybody can hear him and I liked it, so I figured I'd do that here. :) Thanks for reviewing. :)
misaoshiruI have read so many stupid comedy fics (and seen some pretty bad shows too) that its not even funny. (No pun intended.) Which was why I was nervous about writing this, but it seems I didn't do to badly. :) I read your spinach fanfic:) Thanks for reviewing. :)
dacrayZblaze1 I agree, this scenario is way overdone, but I couldn't resist. And my brother told me to write it, so I had to. Thanks for reviewing. :)
Angry Bokken Oh, you must be Kaoru's bokken. :D Thanks for the helpful information, I'll go back and fix it (someday). Thanks for reviewing. :)
Brittanie Love I'm sorry the beta-reading didn't work out. I don't have any hard feelings and I hope you don't either. Thanks for reviewing. :)
Little-Kitsune I'm afraid they weren't very in character in this chapter (especially Battousai). Hopefully you can forgive me? Thanks for the high rating. :) Thanks for reviewing. :)
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