It's Pudding time, children

by Koutei

New neighbors, more people. That's all.' How can Woodcrest become more confused after that the Freeman has been moved in? With some new, strange neighbours, obvious.

Title: It's Pudding Time Children. Innit?
Rating: T
Author's note: I do not own any of the following Boondocks characters. They're copyright Aaron Mcgruder. Caesar's parents are mine characters… well, yeah…
Anyhow, the new neighbors are mine, but the only one that you can see in the first chapter (THIS) is the father/uncle. The other ones in the next.

I don't know how my English is (pretty bad I think), but one evening I begun to thought about something. The better English (that who learn people with other mother tongue and that they can understand better) is speak in Great Britain, then there's American. At the third place there's American slang. And you will think: 'ok, it's the worse.'
NO. There's a fourth place, and is for Cockney. For who doesn't know what is it, well, is a London slang and for more information look some of the awesome film of Guy Ritchie (The snatch, Lock and Stock – please, not swept away. The original sucks, and we know that, usually, remake are worse…).
So I said: why don't do a story with a character who speak this slang? (no, not everybody in this new family would speak cockney… thank God)
Then, when I was writing, I remembered that Caesar is Jamaican. Jamaican speak a strange language… not really hard, I think like Italian. Some word are like MY dialect! (Not ask. There's million of dialects in Italy.)
So here we are. Riley with his ghetto slang, a character who talk cockney and Caesar who talk Jamaican creole with his parents. Ok, probably there's some errors, but I hope that Bob Marley don't kill me for that.
Then I love create strange character. I really love that. So the new 'children' will been fuckin strange.
And in the last part, you can see, Caesar and Riley have an happy and funny discussion. I was SO stupid…
Summary: When a new family move at Woodcrest, some people have different feelings.
Huey doesn't care, Riley is curious, Cindy hopes that they are black, Caesar asks only for some decent persons and Jazmine it's happy and want to do many new friends.
But how are the new neighbors? Simply human beings, friendly people or frighten weird guys?
…Or all this together?

Here we go.

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Huey P.O.V.

A new day at Woodcrest. It's hot, it's Saturday and I'm in my room. I wanted sleep. I want sleep. In fact, I'm pretty happy in my bed.

-"New people! C'mon! C'mon! Oh, whadda hell is wrong with ya'?! I don't stop! I begin to shout! Ya' don' want 'dat me shout, ya' don' want 'dat! Oh, c'mooooon! C'mon!!!"

If only my brother isn't here. Why is doing that to me? I never woke him up. Why he talk? He can be mute, it's so good to think how the world could be if he was mute.

-"I begin ta' sing P. Diddy lyric! And Christmas' songs! We wish you a merry Christmas! We wish you a merry Christmas!"

I hate him. I fucking hate him.

-"Ok, ok! I'm here. What's the matter? Damn'…"

It's nine and some minutes. It's Saturday. Granddad doesn't have yelled for whatever problem. I'm sleepy. It's hot. Why my brother wake me? Why is he awake?

-"New people! They're near us."

I gaze him with no signs of life. In fact, my brain isn't really living. I'm only asking me why he thinks that I actually care about other human beings at the nine of the morning.
He understand this, or, well, he seems to understand this, watching how he fumes.

-"Oh, c'mon! New people, ya' kno' what 'dis mean'!"

Not really. I know only that Saturday morning mean sleep. I'm sleepy, I return to sleep. I don't care if there's new people near us, neither if is the president or Queen Elizabeth or whatever.

-"Yeah, new white men, more guys at school, boring people and happiness everywhere. I don't want happiness. I want sleep. Alone. Go to do 'hi' at them. Maybe they give you some biscuits."

Riley sobs again, but now he begins to kick my bed. I can't ignore him and that's not good 'cause, for misfortune, now I can't stand him. So, the only thing that I want do is beat him up.
Not a bad idea, this.

-"Riley, leave me the fucking hell alone!"

I'm glad that he understands, 'cause I wanted to punch him so strong that I could killed him.
In an other way, he was really irritant and I have to knock him out or he think that he can do whatever wants…

-"Ya' nigga are stupid!"

I never was so happy to hear my brother slam the door. I mean, these 'new people' are gonna live near us, right? Well, I can see them every time I want.
I'm so sleepy.

Riley P.O.V.

Fuck fuck fuck! Why 'da fuckin' hell I've a so stupid bro'? If I'm 'da BIG bro' he would pay fo' everythin', but I'm 'da fuckin' lil' bro'. What can I do, uh? Uh?! Cry? Shoot 'em wit' 'dis stupid gun?!
I hate him. He lemme hate ma' guns.
I don' wanna see 'da new neighbours anymore. Sht. Huey and his fuckin', stupid… stupidity!
Well, I can't think on 'dat. Is so fuckin' irritant! I've ta' relax. Yeah. Chill out.
Maybe there's Tuggin' Love on Mtv.

-"Booty butt, booty booty…"

Not 'da same, but 'dat is ok.

Michael P.O.V.

-"Mi love chaklit kiek. Wi kya nyam is?"
-"Naa!! Yu nuh is fa new man! See fiwi pickney, im naah bodda fa nyam. Im barshy."

I know no one of you have minimally idea of what my parents are saying. Who has for mother tongue English wants that everyone learn it, but when they have to talk in other idioms everybody does a stupid face. All right, some years ago in Jamaica most men not wanted talk in Jamaican, but oh well, that was 'cause they don't think was a language. Is Creole, is stupid, is for fishermen.
Well, my family talk Jamaican, even if is a Creole or not.
Obviously, we talk it only in family, for the fact that I've said before. But I guess you want a translate.
'I love chocolate cake. Can we eat it?', it's what said dad, some moments ago, looking at the cake that mom's hold on like he doesn't had eat for years, and she answered 'No, you know is for the new men, look at our child, he doesn't bother for eat. Is cool'.
I like mommy. I'm so hungry, but she doesn't know this and thinks that I'm good. That's good.

Maybe she gives me a slice of cake for this.

-"Tanks, mada."
-"Psh… Weh ih deh yaad? Mi tyad now..."
-"Niar dat Huey yaad. Fimi brejrin."
-"Ongle brejrin…"
-"Naa truu! Yu a liad!!"

Oh, well, the two word that I said first- tanks mada – aren't really hard to translate, even if you don't know the language.
'Where is the house? I'm tired now' said daddy. He was only unpleasant 'cause mommy liked me, and maybe she will give me a slice of cake. Eh eh.
'Near the Huey's house, my friend' I answered, and he said, with nonchalance, 'only friends'. That's not true! He's a liar! And, well, that's what I said then. With little differences, but aren't important. Why he thinks that I don't have friends?!
I have many friends, is only that I don't speak often with them.

-"Naa badda im! Yu a pickney. Ehi, Huey… fimi bredda is da… da lilly bad bwoy! Im so upful…"
-"Mi upful dat wi naa hab dawta. Shi ca lub im… gaah! Fimi pitni naa ca lub im, ca im a bwoy! yu naa chi chi, right?!?!"
-"Naa. Pure gal waan mi."
-"Respek, my yute. Dem real or…?"

'Don't bother him! You're a child. Ehi, Huey… his brother is the little gangsta! He's so cheery'. I don't really know when Riley acted like he was cheery. My mother really meet him?
'I'm cheery that we don't have a daughter. She could love him... gaah! Our child cannot love him, because is a boy! You're not gay, right?'. Aye, in addition he thinks I'm gay! Hooray!
All right, let's be serious: gay?! I didn't ever think to become gay, why the hell I've… well, never mind.
'No, many girls want me' I answered him, proud… before dad didn't answer with a harsh joke. 'Respect, young. They're real or…' and I can look my dreams go away, joining with my last piece of self-respect…

-"Ma, faada mak mi vex!"
-"De bwoy a de biggest liad! Yu wanna romp wit mi negga, uh? Uh?
-"Oh, dun it!! Wa make yu galaan so?!"
-"Mi jesta, mon! …Mi naa jesta, yute."

'Mom, dad makes me mad' I complained, like a little child, knowing that she would stop my father, but he exclaims 'the boy is a big liar! You want to mess with me, nigga?'. I know that he was kidding. Well, I hope. Anyhow, mom became fairly angry. With dad. I'm very lucky.
'Finish it! Why are you behaving like such?'. A phrase that, told from mom and above all not at me, let me being happy.
'I'm only kidding, woman!', said at first, looking at me after few seconds for say 'I'm not kidding, young'. Now I know that he is really kidding.

-"Dun it! Ef yu chubble im, mi a guh bax yu. Now… 'dis a wan irie likkle place. Honey, stop think at this cake, you don't eat it. Caesar, play like you're happy to be here! Begin to smile, I greet the first man who apparently seems the chief…"

'Finish it! If you trouble him, I'm gonna hit you. Now, this is a very nice place' and then she told in English. You know your own idiom, right? I hope that.
It's not that I don't happy to be here, it's only that I'm a little bit sleepy. It's not really cool walk at nine of Saturday morning with a delicious cake that you can't eat and your dad that seems a child. In fact, I don't really know how I can be here safe. I was a zombie being.

-"Oh, good morning! We are your neighbours and… well, we would give you our welcome."
-"…Uh? I… thank you! Please to meet you! Wow, new neighbours never welcome us in the past move… I think that was only in some American TV drama!"
-"Usually yes, but I did something unpleasant that my wife didn't like, so she made a delicious chocolate cake only for let me see and never eat it… You had only move at the right time. You're lucky."
-"SHUT UP!!!"
-"Eh eh, I'm sorry…"

I knocked my head three times in three glass doors. Two against the same wood door. I fell to the stair 'cause I tripped on a radio. I hit a table's angle with my stomach. I'm in coma, and no one have the heart to say it to me.
I'm sorry, but I don't care about this new people. Maybe I will care after lunch, but now I don't know how the hell I can be safe. I don't even care about it. The only things that I would mind are other children than me.
Well, no one. I don't see any boys or girls here, neither a little child. And I can't imagine some of my friends run to me, not now. Why? Well, I explain you some facts. Not explanations, or thinks. Facts.
Huey is probably sleeping. He can wake at five of morning when is school time, and seems to need only thirty minutes of sleep, but when is holiday time he have to recuperate the lost sleep in the year.
Riley… please. If he is wake at this hour, he isn't enough conscious to know what his name is.
And maybe Jazmine is awake, but I don't see her. And Cindy… oh, I can't believe that I seriously hope that Cindy appears from nothing. Not that I don't like her, but we don't have so many things in common.

-"…Michael, don't be ill-behaved, c'mon!"

What the hell? I didn't hear an only word of what they say to each other… what I have to do?
See? I don't even know what the people near me do! I can't be wake, I'm in coma, I'm sleeping.
But, anyhow, what the hell I'm expected to do?

-"…Sorry, I'm pretty sleepy… it's… never mind. Mom had already said what my name is? I'm a little bit in coma… But pleased to meet you, sir!"

Thank goodness the white man seems funny, 'cause if he didn't laugh I was pretty fucked.
He has black-grey hair and green eyes. He isn't the 'typical' blond with blue eyes American man. I don't know why the hell the typical American man, in the imaginary, have blue eyes and blond hair if in reality there's a few guys with this characteristic. Anyhow, it's good that he don't seem a male doll, 'cause I have some hope that he isn't totally stupid. I know, not always true, but first appearance is important.

-"Yes she did! You're a fun boy, Michael. Maybe, when the children come, you can be friend of them!"
-"That would be nice!"
-"Oh, you have children? And where are they?

He seems friendly. 'Yes she did'? It's not normal. He went to Harvard? Oh, what the hell. The important thing is that I'm safe. I'm only doomed.
In fact all of this things pales to utter insignificance in the light that my mom said three horrible words… would be nice.
That reminds me that stupid song… Oh god, why?

-"Four children, one is my nephew. They didn't wanted to wake up before eight of morning. Two of them can surely kill me without any remorse, and I don't really sure about the third, so I preferred leave them asleep. Probably they came with the other camion, at eleven AM…"

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn't have to wait so long!, and wouldn't it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong…

-"Oh, like our Michael! If he cannot sleep, he is like a zombie. Look at him!"
-"Well, he can't kill anyone. Neither a spider. He always asked at us, you know?"

I a little bit offended, but I cannot resist… the song… inferior… happiness…
You know its gonna make it that much better! When we can say goodnight and staaaaaaaaay together!!!
Oh, how can I be out-of-tone even in my head? That inferior… monkey band.

-"I will pay for a son like that! For misfortune only my minor daughter is like it. Usually I don't understand what the middle son says, and the eldest is… well, is a little antisocial… and my nephew is a little bit… creepy. Oh, probably you will know them."
-"Sure! If they will come at eleven, they're here just for the lunch! I invite you at our home!"
-"Yeah, and maybe bring the cake… No, wait, I'm joking."

Nice try, daddy. Wouldn't it be nice to bring the cake… oh, fuck! I hate this stupid song! It's gonna rape my mind!

-"Uh, I can invite Huey?"

Thank God I know how escape from them, for now. Yeah, I know, I said that Huey isn't wake, but maybe his granddad is! So I can stay at their home and sleep in the meanwhile.
That's good. That's really good.

-"Sure, baby."
-"Who is he?"
-"A friend of Michael. Is a clever guy, and has a really cute brother, even if is a little bit impertinent."
-"…impertinent?"
-"In the cutest possible sense of the word."

Mom is right, Riley is cute if he doesn't talk. He is like Huey. Maybe he was the same at eight years old?
…Oh God, that's nasty. And Huey isn't cute.

-"I go to tell him that. He is really interesting, Sir."
-"Surely more strange that your children!"
-"Shut up!!!"
-"Ah ah! I don't really sure about that, mister!"

Dad never changes. Oh well.
Let's awaken the Freeman.

T.P.O.V.

Riley watched the TV, sit on the sofa with an angry face. He didn't seem to really care about the song, something that everyone who knew him understood from the fact that he didn't sing or move at time. With the arms crossed on his chest and a leg on the table, seemed thought about something that he didn't liked.
He seemed so deep in his thoughts that he not even looks to the door when someone knocked it.
He simply grunts when he heard the sound of the doorbell ringing.

-"I know that there's someone! Oh, c'mon, do you think I go away with no contest?!"

He didn't minimally care when the 'someone' 's voice screamed something.

-"Oh, so, if no one is there I can do whatever I want, exactly? Ok… Let's rock!"

He seemed fairly perplexed when 'someone' began to ring the doorbell with no apparent sense.
He seemed horrified when he understood that there was a sense.

-"Wouldn't it be nice if we were older?! Then we wouldn't have to wait so long!!! And wouldn't it be nice to live together, in the kind of world where we belooong!!"

Riley winced when the 'someone' began to sing and the doorbell's ring time.

-"You know its gonna make it that much better, when we can say goodnight, and staaay, together!!"

Riley convinced himself that was a good idea stop the 'someone'. Even if, he had hear few moments before, listening to the acute and the out-of-tone of 'someone', he was already late.
So he, with calm, walked to the door, did a deep breathe and opened the door, with a neurotic tick at his right eye.

-"WOULDN' IT BE NICE IF YA' FUCK OFF?!"

Michael Caesar, the poor someone with his finger still on the doorbell, stared at him speechless.

-"GET-'DA-HELL-OFF-OF-'DAT-FUCKIN'-BELL!"

Caesar, frightened, putted his hand in his pockets.
Riley, au contraire, felt a little better. Of course, his ears whizzed and his throat was hurt, and didn't was a good look the fool face that Caesar had, but he wasn't very angry. Not like before. Two yells anti stress.
Unfortunately instead felt angry he felt pretty empty. Not really good.
Sighed, annoyed.

-"What was 'dat sht?! Wait, I dun' wanna kno'."

Caesar taken some of his ancient good cheer, forgive and forgotten the scary scene of the little wannabe gangsta and begun to smile, rewarded with a pestered look. He doesn't care, accustomed very well at Riley and at his brother.

-"Whassup, lil' killer! How many gangsta have you killed today?"

That wasn't a good idea, looked at the angry face that Riley did.

-"Fuck… ya'… nigga…"
-"Uh… You dropped the gun? I'm sorry. So, are you listening rap music for cheer you up?"

Probably Caesar was really accustomed at Riley, 'cause nobody with a little bit of sense would had continued in that way. Not when him was enough close from being able to see while him became red.

-"In fact, fuck off, I think ya' are gonna off!"
-"No, no!! WAAAIT!!!"

Riley right eye twitched while Caesar screamed for stopping him to close the door.
Michael was a little bit perplexed (and yes, really scared) for the fact that the little wannabe gangsta was so nervous in the morning- that morning. He was usually funny, and, above all, he had never have a nervous tic. Not really encouraging.
Caesar did a deep breathe, searching some words that didn't release a disaster from Riley.

-"Ya' gay and ya' love me? I kno' 'dat, and no, I don' care a sht."
-"No, what… Fuck off, Riley! Let me in, I have to talk with Huey. What the hell, I'm lucky that doesn't rain, or I would had taken a fever!"

Riley sighed, closed the door after that Caesar entered in the house. When the Bob Marley's young clone begun to watch the room Riley, with a raising eyebrow, asked something that he wasn't think on, before.

-"Whaddaya' would do at ma' house in a rainin' mornin'?!"

Good question, Caesar had to admit that. He doesn't really know why he was in that house that morning. Why he didn't was in his bed? Good, amazing question. But there was an answer. Oh, yes. He knew that there was a logical answer. Yeah.
Only that he didn't knew what. Oh well.

-"C'mon, use your imagination, I have to think at everything? Maybe… I don't know… I would be in danger. Horrible danger."

Riley nodded, sceptically, asking to himself why he opened the door at a Huey's friend when he was so terribly upset. Next, he noted that he didn't was more upset. Two minutes of idiocy can change a life.

-"I can imagine. 'I'm a poor lil' bitch who have ta' confess. Lemme' in, lemme in, I have ta' confess'."

Caesar ceased to looking around the room only for watch, astonished, the little one while was talking in a surprising falsetto. Michael didn't even imagine that Riley could told in falsetto.
That let the offensives things go away, leaving him in an only little ask.
Why didn't he taken a tape recorder?
When Caesar noted that the look on the face of Riley was been a 'what the FUCK are you looking at?' he, finally, come back to reality.

-"Oh my…! What was that?! A nursery rhyme?!?!"

The exactly question was 'you know a nursery rhyme?!', but when he didn't even know what was that, probably was better not risk.
Riley, instead, seemed wordless. He probably didn't believe at the fact that Huey's best friend could really ask something like that.

-"…Yeah. Ya' kno' 'Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again'? Well, ma' rhyme is in 'da same page. Unbelievable, uh?"

Caesar was between the disbelief and the unmotivated joy, like a child at his first time in a Luna Park.
In fact, the happy look that he was giving at Riley didn't really tranquilized him.

-"Oh my…! You know a nursery rhyme?!?!"

Riley was begun to think that, maybe, there was an error. How can that guy be friend of his brother?
His best friend?
Oh no. Was more tranquilizing the think that he was a rapist in disguise.

-"…Nigga, are ya' stupid?! Anyhow, let be serious: whaddaya' wanted?"
-"I wanted to see Huey. Where is he? On internet at the morning? I imagine that's why you're up."

For few seconds Caesar was sure that Riley had a angry look, but the time that he found some word for save his life and the wannabe gangsta was came back to the bored child that told with him in that five funny minutes of nothing.

-"He's sleepin'. Whaddaya do waken at nine of 'da morning?!"

Caesar was asking that to himself. He didn't knew the answer, already, so he sighed, raising his shoulder, sitting down on a step and looking at Riley, still near the door.

-"I dunno. Mom and dad tell me to do that and… I… zombie being… Wait. Huey that sleeps more than you? Is a sign of the apocalypse!"

Looking at how Caesar brought suddenly life, jumping on his feet with incredibly energy, Riley, becoming to fear for his health, didn't knew if was better run away or bring whatever thing that looked heavy and hit him with that. Or, well, the two things together. Surely removed the choose.

-"Yeeeeeah, so… 'da other six signs?"
-"Oh my…! You know that there are seven signs?! You know something that was in a book?! That's the second sign!"

Riley was befuddled.

-"Then, let me think… Well, you are awaken at nine of the morning! We have a funny and happy discussion! And… you know a nursery rhyme! Now, I have to find the other two signs… eh… hm…"
-"A fuckin' moron 'dat sing a stupid song wit' a doorbell at nine of 'da mornin'. Oh, and 'dat I open 'da door at 'da fuckin' moron! Jeez, I begin ta' think 'dat ya' have ta' go. C'mon, go to 'da hell and fuck off."
-"Ah, you're a little sick baby! Hold on, I'm only joking… I wanted to invite you and your brother at our lunch with the new neighbours. Ya' know, presentation, happy stuff and blablabla. If you don't want it's ok, but let me sleep. Man, I was so sleepy! I don't awake before eleven AM ever again! Where is the couch? "

Riley couldn't even answer at him that Caesar was moving to the living room, stretching and yawning like he was at his home.
Watching the eldest one lied on the sofa, the wannabe gangsta groaned for the frustration deciding that was better do something before Caesar begun to ask for a coffee and a cover.
But what? He didn't knew. So, what did he usually do when he didn't knew what do?
He watched the TV.

-"La la la Thuggin' love…"