Gone

Definition: Hikaru experiences the first few effects of the "seperation"

Couples: N/A

Number of Words: 607

Note: I'm sorry! I'll get to the Mori short story soon enough! This story that's here has been nagging at me all night long and I couldn't post it up since my big brother's friends are here!
Say, did you also know that if Hikaru and Kaoru actually were together, Kaoru would be the dominant one? They admitted it in the Renge episode in the manga.

Depressing are funerals.

So why am I here?

I don't even know who's funeral this is, I'm sitting here, listening to the preecher.

"He was a good child," One person says.

Another nods and says, "Always doing good things, despite his evil attitude."

I'm raising my eyebrow, who is this? I don't really care about this formal crap, I want to go up and look into the coffin, it's always been Kaoru's and my dream to see an actual corpse, though our little halloween spectacular isn't what we had in mind.

FINALLY!

I can go up to that coffin! I'm bending over, about to look inside, but... but...

It's me?

It can't be, I'm right here.

I'm turning around, panicked and see my mom. No one's walking through me, people are staring at me. I have to be real.

"Mom!" I'm shouting as I dash over. She looks at me, tears in her eyes.

"Oh, Hikaru..." She's sobbing. So I'm real? I'm alive? Then... no.

No, it can't be.

I'm panicking.

"MOM! Why's Kaoru in there?" I'm freaking, I'm spazzing, my brother can't be in there, we're only in high school! Rich kids don't die this early! We're not common folk!

"Kaoru... he..." Mom's trying to answer, but now she's crying and dad's taking her away, and I got the feeling I upset her.

I upset her?

What about me?

"Oh, Hikaru," Comes Haruhi's voice. "I didn't think you'd show."

"Haruhi!" I'm gasping as I'm turning around, I'm so glad to see her. "Why's Kaoru in there?"

She's looking at me, like I'm insane. Almost like I suggested the most stupidest thing in the world.

"So, it is a big traumatic experience," I hear Haruhi whisper, now she's spoke up. "Kaoru killed himself last week, you were in a lot of shock afterwards, we didn't think you'd show up. In fact, your mom sent you away so you wouldn't have to see this."

Too much.

This is... impossible.

"KAORU!"

I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just... running, pushing past people, and suddenly I'm in front of that coffin, staring at Kaoru, and the tears are flowing out of my eyes as I stare at that face. I can't stand this, I need him. I can't live without him... Kaoru...

Now the eyes are open, and we're not in a church or outside anymore, and Kaoru's face isn't pale, but that lively color he usually has. His cheeks just flushed and he's turning away from me now... looking down at a test? Oh yeah! It's all coming back to me now.

I was doodling him again.

This time, he looked a little death like in his uniform, like a vampire... or...

...corpse.

I'm supposed to be finishing my math test.

"Hikaru-san? Is something wrong?" The teacher's asking me sternly as she's walking over.

A laugh and a, "No, just thinking about this problem."

It doesn't come.

Now, I'm crying, and I'm being sent home, Kaoru's staring at me, worridly. I can't shake it.

He looks so much more pale than he used to, then we used to. Kaoru's eyes are so sad now, and he's always staring at me. I want to scream his name.

I didn't.

Now I'm stuck in my room, and I can't stop crying.

I don't know why I can't, it's not like Kaoru's ever going to kill himself. Kaoru's so happy, so bright, so cheerful, so cute. He's handsome, he's kind, and he's so much better than me, why would I even dream of Kaoru killing himself?

Still, I'm crying.

If it's so impossible for Kaoru to kill himself, then why can't I shake the feeling that he's gone?