Friends: TOW the Clocks

Disclaimer: I own nothing friends…unfortunately.

Note: I think this episode will be anywhere in the first season. And I hope to make it funnier, I'm a little unhappy with the in-humorous beginning. What do you think?

(Joey is seen sleeping. He is hugging his pillow, and a smile creeps over his face- in a very creepy way. All of a sudden his alarm goes off, startling him awake. He screams and wakes up. Then he runs out of the room.)

Joey: Chan-Chan!

Chandler: Joe? Are you saying something? Go back to sleep! Did you have another nightmare—hold on, I'm coming!

Joey: Worse. I was dreaming about doing Jennifer Aniston. And my alarm woke me up before I finished!

Chandler: You irresponsible bastard!! Didn't your mother teach you to finish what you started! (He said in that very Chandler way.)

Joey: Goodnight Chandler.

Chandler: You're going to skip work today?

Joey: It's one in the morning, dude. Shut up and leave me to Jennifer.

Chandler: What are you, crazy? It's seven!

Joey: Oh crap (looks up) hope you can wait till tonight Jennifer! I get this shower!

Chandler: But my hair is greasy!

Joey: Talk any more gay and you'll end up in a shower with me!...dead.

Chandler: (running out the door) I'm off to Monica's!

Opening Creditss

Chandler: (at Monica's door) Monica!! Open the door! Monica…as loud as a harmonica… especially at Hanukah…get out your Yamaka…and Adam Sandler'd be pissed I took his song…but it couldn't be any worse than that time he thought I was hitting on him.

Monica: (opens the door) What is it creep!

Chandler: Shower!

Monica: It's one o'clock!

Chandler: Well, Joe was right…this seems like a sacred moment…well, can I crash on your couch?...Joey will probably keep me up all night.

Monica: Go ahead, but we get up at six.

Chandler: Great.

(Joey gets into the shower, but it's freezing, so he heads to Monica and Rachel's. He finds the door unlocked. He sneaks into the bathroom. Rachel is just coming out.)

Rachel: If your not Chandler, I swear to god, I'm going to chop you up!

Joey: It's Joe! Would you have really done that?

Rachel: No, I would've run and gotten Mon. Shower?

Joey: Yep.

Rachel: Your clocks are wrong. It's one.

Joey: Oh…can I crash here? Chandler'll keep me up all night.

Rachel: (looks on the couch and sees Chan. She cracks a smile) Sure… pretty tired, Joe?

Joey: Yep, I'm going to fall right to sleep.

(Hours pass and it is seven. Rachel's alarm goes off.)

Rachel: What the hell? I'm an hour late! (She walks out of her room and sees Joey on top of Chandler on the couch. Joey is smirking.) Monica!!

Monica: (wakes up) What is it?

Rachel: The clock! It woke me up and hour late!

Monica: Crap!!! I have to get to work. Why is Joey on top of Chandler?

Rachel: Beats me.

Monica: Joey and Chandler get the hell out of my apartment! I'm running late and I don't have time for you two!

Joey: What? (looks down and sees Chandler) You're not Jennifer!

Chandler: Joe! I don't roll that way! In fact, I'm not rolling anyway for you!

(Rachel starts to crack up.)

Chandler: Did you do this?

Rachel: I've got to get to work.

Joey: What time is it?

Monica: Seven!! Damn clocks!

(Everyone gets ready and leaves for work. Hours pass, and everyone meets at Central Perk for lunch.)

Joey: Digital clocks suck!

Ross: Why don't you get a normal one?

Joey: Well, you see—

Chandler: Joe can't read clocks unless it reads the time for him.

Joey: Hey! It's more of like I'm too lazy to read them….

Chandler: No, Joe just can't read!

Phoebe: Ok, so whose clocks freaked out last night?

Chandler: Joey's woke him up at one and mine read seven.

Joey: And Chandler acted gay.

Rachel: And mine woke me up an hour late.

Chandler: And Joey slept on top of me.

Monica: And mine didn't wake me up at all!

Phoebe: So, technically, your still asleep!

Joey: Oh, I so wish I was still asleep. I was doing Jennifer Aniston!

Rachel: Oh, she's so pretty!

Ross: More like a hottie!

Chandler: Does anyone think Rachel looks like Jen?

Rachel: Well I'm flattered!

Everyone (but Chandler and Rach): No.

Rachel: Hey! I have blonde hair! And our haircuts are similar! And we have the same height!

Phoebe: But bone structure, so different.

Joey: And she's an actress! And you're a waitress!

Rachel: That has nothing to do with looks!

Joey: But it makes me want to do her!

Phoebe: Yes, but actress and waitress both end in –ress. Coincidence? I think not!

Monica: Oh, and Rach, your hair is very messy this morning.

Ross: Yea, Jen's is always neat.

Rachel: Well that's because the clock woke me up late!

Joey: Than set it earlier! (Everyone stares at Joe.)…oh, right, you did!

Phoebe: Well, good luck with the clocks tonight! I've got a client in 15 minutes, but we'll catch up later.

Ross: Oh, yea, but I'm having dinner with Carol and Susan to discuss the baby relationship. So I'm out. (He leaves.)

Rachel: (walks up to the counter) Gunther, do you have a clock that's not haunted?

Gunther: Oh, yes.

Rachel: Thanks (she takes the clock).

Gunther: And Rachel? Are you going to be using that clock by your bed?

Rachel: Yea, on my nightstand. Why?

Gunther: And you'll be touching it?

Rachel: Well, I kind of need to in order to turn off the alarm. Is that a problem?

Gunther: NO! But I will pay you for using it.

Rachel: Why?

Gunther: Um, well I guess not if you insist. Have fun with that clock!

Rachel: Um, Gunther…(whispers) it's just a clock.

Gunther: Oh, of course.

(The scene changes to Ross' apartment. He is getting ready for his dinner with Carol and Susan. His dinner is at 6:30 and it is six right now.)

Ross: Ok, I will get ready for the dinner…but if I take some extra time it will take time away from seeing Susan!...and who am I talking to? (Just then the phone rang. It is Carol.)

Ross: Hello.

Carol: Where were you? You missed dinner! We ate without you!

Susan: And it was wonderful.

Ross: What, it's only 6:00!

Carol: It's 8:00, Ross!

Susan: Looks like you screwed up!

Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. Bye. (He hangs up the phone.) Yes! (He starts to dance.) I missed dinner!

(The scene changes to Phoebe at work. She is waiting for her client.)

Phoebe: Where the hell is he? I've been waiting for 15 minutes! (She waits for 15 more minutes and then the man arrives.) Where were you! I was waiting for half an hour!

Man: Excuse me, my appointment was for now—

Phoebe: Don't give me any excuses! You missed your shot buddy! I have other clients to work with. GO! (The man leaves confused.)

(The scene changes to the coffee house again, where everyone is gathered for breakfast. This time everyone's clock got them up on time.)

Ross: Well, my clock was two hours off yesterday! I missed my dinner with Carol and Susan!

Monica: Oh, I'm sorry, it happened to you to.

Chandler: It's a conspiracy!

Ross: Are you kidding? I didn't want to go to dinner with Susan! It was a miracle!

Rachel: Well, you were lucky this time.

Joey: Yea, I was expecting a response on the lines of 'I'm so bummed. I need Jennifer to cheer me up'. (Ross stares at Joey.)

Ross: Joe, you're the only man I can think of that would ever say that. (Joey does Ross's thing where he bangs his fists together that Ross made up to give the finger at people without actually giving the finger. Ross glares at Joey and mouths 'I'm watching you'. Joey glares back.)

Phoebe: Hey, you know what I just realized, I am the only one that didn't have a haunted clock.

Monica: Oh, rub it in.

Phoebe: But, now that I think about it that may have happened to my client. He came late, and so I didn't give him a massage.

Chandler: Hey, Pheebs, let me see your watch. (He grabs it.) Yea, you're a half hour off.

Phoebe: A half hour ahead!

Chandler: Yep.

Phoebe: No! Oh, he's so going to get me fired….

(The scene changes to Monica and Rachel's apartment.)

Monica: Oh, Rach, one of Joey's sisters is visiting tonight. In about an hour.

Rachel: A little late of notice!

Monica: Well, maybe the clocks are wrong!

Rachel: Oh, god, that'd suck. Let's call everyone and check on the time.

(Both of them call everyone and they all have the same time. They have an hour to get ready, and then they have to go to Joe's apartment to see Mary Therese. Just then there's a knock on the door and it's Joey.)

Monica: What is it now?

Joey: Mary Therese is here! Come on!

Rachel: It's an hour early! Don't tell me—

Joey: Yep, clocks are off again! (Chandler comes in)

Chandler: Joe, Mary Angela is getting a little bored by my jokes.

Joey: You don't tell jokes to Mary Therese! She'll slice your head off!

Chandler: Really?

Joey: No, that was a joke, which proves, YOU DON'T TELL JOKES TO MARY THERESE! Now, come on.

Monica: I'm in my sweats still!

Rachel: And I'm in my robe!

Joey: She won't mind!

(Joey and Chandler go back to their apartment.)

Rachel: Which one is Mary Therese?

Monica: I don't know, I'm just hoping she's not the biker chick.

(Monica and Rachel leave to Joey and Chandler's apartment. Ross and Phoebe are seen walking up the stairs to the apartment.)

Phoebe: These damn shoes!! They're so small!

Ross: Then why'd you wear them?

Phoebe: Well, I thought I had an extra hour! Then I found out all our clocks were off in UNISON! (Ross and Phoebe walk up to the door. Mary Therese is standing in the doorway.) I HATE DAMN CLOCKS! (Mary Therese stares at Phoebe and then runs to get Joey. Joey comes.)

Joey: What was that? Mary Therese said you freaked out at her?

Ross: I think she freaked out at the clocks.

Joey: Just come in for dinner.

(Everyone is sitting at the table. It's been about a half hour. Mary Therese asks Joey is they can talk in private.)

Joey: What is it?

Mary Therese: Your friends are a little…strange.

Joey: What?

Mary Therese: One won't stop telling jokes, two aren't dressed at all for company, another has the strangest grudge against clocks, and the last won't stop talking about dinosaurs! I'm a little scared for you, Joe.

(The silent dinner continues, and Mary Therese later leaves.)

Everyone: I hate clocks!

Chandler: As I was saying, IT'S A CONSPIRACY!

Joey: Goodnight, I've got a date with Jennifer!

(Everyone leaves. The TV is left on.)

News Reporter: It seems as though a dark haired man (a paper is given to him) by the name of Joey Tribbiani (Joey runs out of his room at the sound of his name and watched the TV) hit a power switch a couple nights ago, changing the workings of many of the clocks on his floor, including some that run through the same power lines in other buildings. This harsh mistake should be fixed by tomorrow. (Joey stares at the TV. His eyes widen, his jaw drops and he begins to point at the TV, freaking out.)

End Creditss