Sorry it took me so long to get part two up, but I had lots of stuff to prepare for, like prom and New Jersey State FFA Convention. This is a sort of missing scene from 'Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen'... basically my idea of the catalyst which brought Sidney to the 4077th. Enjoy!
Dear Hawkeye,
I know that you probably aren't too thrilled with us right now and that you probably don't even want to hear from me, but I have to tell you that I miss you. I wish you didn't have to leave, but Col. Potter was adamant. There was no way you'd be able to stay in Potter's eyes. I wish-
And it was there I stopped writing. I could not put into words the pain I felt at what was happening to you, and you… you were angry enough with me. I wasn't about to get all mushy on you and say I wish I could take away some of the pain you felt or something like that, but I really do wish I could. It hurt me to see you hurting the way you were. I can remember the evening so clearly.
You see, Hawk, what affected me most was not what happened on the bus but what happened the Swamp once we got back. You looked rattled and worn out, so Potter told me to bring you back here (it's where I am right now) so you could get some sleep, saying that he and Charles could handle checking out the refugees. You complained. You "didn't need me to baby-sit you" and wanted me to just go look after patients. Instead, I sat down on my cot and looked at you, saying, "You should get some sleep," without blinking at the curses I knew you were muttering as you rolled over. I did the same a few moments later, receiving no response from my "Goodnight, Hawkeye". I have to admit, sometimes you remind me of Sherlock Holmes. Maybe not for your acute powers of observation but more because of your moods. Holmes would be tenacious and eager for information one day, then sullen and almost angry the next, not speaking to anyone… a black mood. That was definitely you, and, right then, you were in a black mood. I just let you sleep it off; you would feel better in the morning. I fell asleep with this hope in mind.
Then your screaming woke me up. I leapt out of bed and rushed over to you, scared to death for you. You were screaming incoherently, as though in pain or anguish or both, covering yourself as though you were under fire. I called your name, tried wake you, but you merely inserted the phrase "Get away!" into your screams. I shook you a bit harder. You retaliated by flailing violently, hitting me in the face; you busted my lip. However, I was still determined to wake you. By now, some of the people in the camp had come to see what was wrong. I continued to shake you, calling your name, dodging your flying limbs. I'm not sure of exactly what happened next, but your eyes snapped open, and one of your feet connected with my stomach. I felt my knees hit the ground as I tried to suck in air. You were standing up now, stumbling back before you tripped and half-crawled toward the corner of the tent behind my cot. It was there you wrapped your arms around yourself and began rocking and whimpering. I heard you start mumbling, "BJ… Beej, I'm sorry. I'm sorry," over and over. I struggled to my feet and walked over, dragging the back of my hand across my mouth, noting the blood. You were horrified still. I sat down beside you. All it seemed you were able to say was, "Don't hate me! Please don't hate me! Please…", then you were overtaken by sobs. I just put my arms around you, and you were soon clutching my T-shirt, sobbing and begging me not to hate you and not to leave you. All I could do was hold you and tell you I didn't and I wouldn't. You had somehow, in the course of your sobbing, maneuvered yourself to sit curled up against my chest between my legs. It was a bit uncomfortable, however, I could deal with the discomfort if it would help you feel better. You stopped sobbing after a little while, but you did not move from my embrace. I kept one hand rubbing your back and let the other play with your hair. I saw a jeep come in and heard someone greet a man named Sidney and got scared again. I didn't even realise that I gripped you tighter to me. In another one of our trying moments, I had vowed to follow wherever you went, even into the dark. Now… you had to one of the darkest places of all… and I couldn't follow to help you.
"If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, then I'll follow you into the dark."
Part 3 coming soon! I promise!