Catherine quietly opened the door to Gil's office, not wanting to wake him if he was still sleeping. After glancing at the couch, she spotted him sitting in his chair behind his desk. Only his desk lamp was on so she moved closer to see what he was doing. His head was down and he seemed to be studying something in his hand. "Gil," she spoke softly as she approached.

He looked up, surprised and a little confused. "Cath, I didn't hear you come in."

She tried to see what he ws holding but his hand covered it. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah, thanks for finding my pills...again." He smiled weakly. His eyes dropped back to the object in his hand.

She sat in her usual spot, the chair opposite his desk. Observing him , she noted that he seemed sad and a little lost.

"Must be important?" she asked as she eyed his hand.

"Hmmmm?" He looked up at her and saw the direction her eyes were cast. "Oh...it's...was my mother's." He opened his hand for her to see.

"Isn't that a rosary?"

"Yes, I kept it after she died. She always had it with her. It...helped; made me feel like she was somehow close."

"Thinking about her now?"

"Well, yes...but more about..." His shoulders slumped.

Catherine moved around the desk and sat on the corner, reaching her hand out to cover his. "Noah?"

"Yeah, and after."

"After?"

"I grew up Catholic. My mother never let me miss a mass and I was an altar boy and everything. I really believed in all that the priests told me; well, almost everything. After Noah died, I went to the priest. I confessed my weakness in not taking care of him and told him how my inaction played a part in his death. You know what he wanted to talk to me about?" He looked at her angrily. "He wanted to chastise me about the sin of fornication. My commission of that sin had led to Noah's death. His death was my punishment...my punishment!" His anguish was palatable. "Failing to protect my son was not a sin but fathering him had been. That was the last time I looked for answers from religion."

She knew he had a problem with religion; not a problem exactly, he just didn't believe in it. He'd given a few lame excuses over the years, but now she understood why. He hadn't blamed God; God had not failed him but religion had. So why was he fingering his mother's roasry; almost in an automatic response to the feel of them in his hand, as though he had been reciting it? She decided to remain quiet and let him share his thoughts as he was ready.

"She believed it all until the very end. It seemed to give her comfort. There have been times when I've wished for that kind of comfort, but it just isn't there for me. Until today, I thought I had put Noah's death behind me. There have been a few cases where there were babies that I thought of Noah, but it wasn't like today. Today it all came crashing back. It felt as if it had just happened. Does that make any sense?" Bewilderment clouded his eyes.

"Those other cases were different; this one was similiar to what happened to Noah. So, it makes sense that it would trigger all those memories...and pain. But I also don't think that losing a child could be something you ever really put behind you. I know what it would do to me if I lost Lindsey. I think you've carefully kept all those feelings behind one of your walls all these years and today, when you saw that baby those walls crumbled. So yeah, I think it makes perfect sense. This is going to hurt for awhile, Gil. You just have to accept that. You can't hide from it. But I'm here and I want to help you, if you'll let me."

He reached over to her and held her hand, squeezing it tightly. He wanted all these horrible feelings to go away but he knew they wouldn't, at least not right away. Somehow, having her with him helped though. Finally he found his voice again and asked, "Anything on your evidence?"

"Yeah, that's what I came to tell you. It was the woman's husband. Seems the baby wasn't his. The DNA didn't match. Brass hd his guys looking for the bastard. Funny thing though, Brass went all chalky when I told him. It seemed to really hit him hard."

"So the husband killed the baby because he wasn't the father. And I guess the mother tried to stop him and got killed in the process?"

"That's what the evidence says."

"Sometimes I think I'm getting too old for this job. Sometimes I'd rather not know the answers." he said bleakly.

"Yeah, I know. But remember when you told me about when your father died? You said no one would tell you why he died. I think that's why you keep doing it...the job, I mean. So others won't have to go through life wondering why."

Gil smiled at her. "When did you get so smart?"

"I've always been smart...or a smart ass," she smirked. "But there's this really smarter guy I know; he taught me how to use my brain." She leaned over to kiss him but he stood and hugged her instead.

"Yeah...well, if he's so much smarter, then why did it take him all these years to figure out how much he needs you? And to tell you how much he loves you? Because, I do." Then he kissed her.

The shift had ended and Grissom was gathering his things to leave. Looking up, he spotted Catherine down the hall chatting with Nick. The conversation was intense and he felt drawn toward them. She glanced at him as he approached the two. Nick looked up and acknowledged his presence. "Hey Gris. I was just telling Cath...Brass got the bastard. They found him out on I-15 headed west. He's in booking now."

"So, we got him?" Grissom looked from Nick to Catherine.

"Yes," she smiled. "And we're going to make it stick."

"Good."

"Okay," said Nick. "Well, I'll see you guys tomorrow. I'm heading home."

"Thanks Nick," Grissom said quietly."See you tomorrow."

Turning back to Catherine, "Breakfast?"

"Thought you'd never ask." She answered grinning.

They headed to his townhouse where he fixed a killer of an omlete. Catherine even said so. She chatted as they finished eating but he found he couldn't concentrate on her words. He was basking in her sunlight. After a night that had thrown him into despair he realized that with her, he would always have hope for happiness; something he hadn't really believed in for a long time. Why had he closed himself off from her for so long, he wondered. As he thought of all the wasted opportunities and years, he wished he could get them back. But he knew that was impossible. As he watched her animated chatter, he decided that there would be no more wasting time. As she wound down, he interrupted. "Cath," he said seriously.

"Gil?" His sudden change in demeanor caught her by surprise. "You okay?"

"I...don't know. You'll have to answer that for me."

Looking at his face, she was confused. He had seemed happier just a few minutes ago and now he seemed...frightened? "What's wrong, Gil?"

"Nothing. It's just...well, will you marry me?" He looked like a deer in a headlight.

Her expression softened from concern to tenderness. He'd asked the question that she'd been waiting to hear from him for years. "I thought you'd never ask." She surprised him by attacking his lips with her kisses, until settling into one long deep one. Her happiness and excitement were evident and he returned the emotions. All the barriers to his heart tumbled as he accepted that she would marry him. He had opened himself to her in ways that he had never opened up to anyone and she loved him; more than that she found him acceptable and wanted him. He thought he would burst with happiness that was as great as all the pain of his past. The fragments of his life fell together as her love provided the missng piece of his puzzle. Finally he was complete.