Authors Note 1:Hallelujah! I'm finally updating! I wonder what's gotten into me. Oh yeah Coke and Red Bull, and lots of it! So I'm very hyper so this is extremely random. I dunno if it's any good though. Right, from now on there will be an "Eragon" quote at the start of the chapters, and they should be updated quicker now I'm on my Summer Holidays.

Authors Note 2: This may be a Murtagh/ Oc fic but if it is it will still be just as silly. Possibly more silly.

I will not be writing any more disclaimers after this.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything "Inheritance related. If I did, Murtagh would be the main character, Durza would be alive and Eragon would be turned into a lump of cheese…..

Quote:

"There's a reason why we're born with brains in our heads, not rocks." - Brom

Last Chapter:

They all slept soundly that night and when they woke up, they found they were surrounded by Urgals.

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Chapter 2: The Urgals, The Elf and The Idiot.

"Oh crap! No look what you've got us into Murtagh! It's all your bloody fault!" cried Eragon when he saw the urgals.

" What the fuck do you mean it's all my fault?! It is not my fault! I was asleep!" yelled Murtagh.

"Well maybe you should have been awake!!" screamed Eragon. The two brothers were so busy arguing they forgot about the Urgals. "Well excuse me for doing what you suggested!" shouted Murtagh. "Oh NOW you listen to me!" replied Eragon. "What the fuck?! When I don't listen to you, you lecture me, then when I do listen to you, you lecture me! How the fuck am I supposed to know whether to listen or not!" yelled Murtagh.

Eragon got so scared he ran behind Saphira. A minute later he jumped out and shouted "Engarde you stupid Urgals! Now you're all screwed! Fear the wrath of my lethal weapon!" "Em…Eragon, Why the fuck are you holding a chip?!" asked Murtagh who was now worried for his younger brothers sanity. "Well excuse me for trying to get them to eat something other than us!" replied Eragon. "Okay…But why are you trying to fight them with a McDonalds chip??" asked Murtagh. "It's McDonalds! I mean have you seen how they make their chips?? This chip is a fucking walking heart attack!" Eragon answered. "Wow. A chip walking. Now that's something you don't hear everyday." retorted Murtagh. "Oh fuck off Murtagh!! You're just jealous!" said Eragon. "Why the fuck would I be jealous of a fool with a chip, which he pointed out to be a "walking heart attack"?" asked Murtagh. "Emmm….Shut up Murtagh! Stop being such a bloody smart ass! It's so hurtful!" Eragon sobs Eragon as he ran into the forest. "Well. That was odd." said Saphira while Murtagh and Thorn just started laughing. Saphira started laughing with them. 5 minutes later Saphira stopped. "Why are we laughing?" she asked. "Because, your genius rider just walked into the huge bog full of quicksand that we warned you about yesterday." laughed Murtagh. "HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!" screamed Eragon. This just sent Murtagh and Thorn into more laughter as Saphira stood confused. "Emm.. Murtagh, where'd all the Urgals go?" asked Thorn suspiciously. "Em. I have no fucking idea" replied Murtagh as he looked around for the Urgals. "Well done boys. You finally copped on" said a new female voice. "Oh look the elf's awake." said Thorn. "Wow really? I never would have guessed" replied Murtagh sarcastically. "Children! Act your bloody age not your shoe size!" said the elf. "Sorry. So what's your name?" Murtagh asked curiously.

"My name is Kendra. I am the elf princess of Nadindel. My mother is the Queen Alaria and my father is the late King…"

"Okay, okay we get it sweetheart but spare us your life story." cut off Thorn.

Eragon, who had freed himself from the quicksand, entered the camp and rugby-tackled Murtagh, who wasn't expecting it, to the ground.

The two brothers wrestled one the ground for a few minutes.

After a moment Kendra asked "Shouldn't we break them up? The better-looking one with the black hair might hurt the weak blonde boy."

"While I agree that Murtagh is better looking and Eragon is weak, this is much more amusing than having them glare at each other for hours." replied Thorn.

"Yes. If you ask me this fight is long overdue. Eragon tends to sulk instead of sorting out a problem and when it is someone Murtagh doesn't hate, he usually broods instead of throwing punches. Though he has been known to light people on fire for pissing him off. Isnt that right Thorn?" said Saphira.

"Yeah. Never fuck with a pyro who knows who you are. Especially when that pyro is Murtagh. There was this one soldier in Uru'Baen, I think his name was Jiminy, pissed Murtagh off and Murtagh told him to fuck off, but he wouldn't and Murtagh lit him on fire. Did you ever see a human fireball before??? It's so awesome!! I mean I thought gutting them was fun but turning them into a human fireball rules all!" said Thorn. "Cool. Okay maybe we better break them up now.

By this stage Eragon has a split lip, slightly swollen eye and bloody knuckles while Murtagh had a bleeding nose.

Thorn and Saphira went and broke them up.

"Right. Now that that's over, I wish to know your names." said Kendra.

"Why do you always talk like a posh bitch?" asked Murtagh.

" Sorry. Gotta act like that in Nadindel. Ya know joys of being royalty and that shit. So what are your names?" replied Kendra.

"I like her." said Murtagh. "You only like her because she kicked all the Urgals butts nearly as quick as you would and the whole posh little princess thing was an act." said Thorn.

"So what? She's cool." Murtagh said as he turned back to Kendra. "My name is Murtagh. This idiot here is my little brother Eragon."

He said as he pointed to Eragon. "Hey! That's mean!" said Eragon.

Murtagh ignored him and continued on. "This dragon here is Saphira. She's is Eragon's. I feel really sorry for her." said Murtagh as Eragon growled when he was insulted. "And this is Thorn. He's my dragon." finished Murtagh.

"Nice to meet y'all" said Kendra. She was looking at Murtagh with admiration in her eyes. "Looks like Kendra's in love already" Saphira muttered to Thorn.

"Kendra and Murtagh would make a good couple." he replied.

"What are you two muttering about over there?" asked Eragon.

"Eragon, go mind-rape uh I mean scry Arya again." said Murtagh.

"Okey dokey oh fantastic older brother of mine!" replied Eragon as he skipped, yes skipped, off to "scry" Arya.

"Seriously what the fuck is that kid on? Or more to the point what off? Cuz if he's skippin' his medication again so help me…" said Murtagh.

"I so agree. I mean like one minute he's rugby-tackling you and throwing punches, the next he's calling you fantastic." agreed Kendra.

"Okay, how the fuck does Murtagh get every girl within 20 feet to fall in love with him by just talking?" asked Thorn amazed.

"I don't know but he sure is good." replied Saphira.

"The trick is to NOT be an annoying over-grown talking lizard." said Murtagh who was listening to them talking about him.

"What did you say about me mother??!!!" screamed Thorn.

At that Murtagh and Kendra just collapsed they were laughing so hard.

"What did those young hooligans say about me mother??!! In my day children wouldn't talk to there elders like that. In my day we had to fly 30 miles for a bottle of water! There was none of these fancy "wells" next to our houses and if a child was disobedient it was out on his arse into the cold snow with nothing more than his boxers, and two stale bread crusts!" said Thorn seriously.

By the end of Thorns little speech Murtagh and Kendras lungs had nearly collapsed from laughing so hard. Eragon came out of the forest and yelled "OH MY GOD! THE PIES ARE ATTACKING!!!!!" and ran away and crashed into a tree which knocked him unconscious. Murtagh just said "Idiot"………..

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Right now that's the end of chapter 2! It's not that funny but oh well. I might have another chapter up tonight and if not tonight then tomorrow if I can.

Thanks for reading! Now be a good person and review! I'll give you a cookie!

Next chapter is:

The Varden, A birthday, and a game of "Duck, Duck, Mary Sue!"

Selene