A/N: What in the world has gotten into me? 2 updates in 1 day? Amazing. This chapter is bad. But I'm thinking of writing a one shot about Kendra and her feelings for Murtagh and a non humour story about them. Well, here's the idiots!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. (sob).Ok I own Kendra but other than her nothing! Christopher Paolini didn't give them to me for my birthday. (more sobs) Lol.

Quote (film):

"That's the Spirit. One part brave, three parts fool" -Brom

Chapter 4: The Spider and the Cheese Monkeys

A week after Elvas 10th birthday party was Murtaghs 19th birthday. The night before his birthday, Kendra had built up the courage, or stupidity she needed to approach Murtagh about why he hated his birthday. Needless to say she was slightly worried about asking him about it. Slightly worried? More like piss herself she was so scared. What would he do? Stab her? Light her on fire like he did to Jiminy? Punch her so hard she'd forget her own name? Or the least likely, answer her.

She wasn't sure if she wanted to find Murtagh or not.

She opened Murtaghs bedroom door.

Just her luck. There he was sitting on the bed.

Reading Stephen Kings "The Shining".

"Hey Murtagh" she said.

"Yo" he replied without even looking up.

"Any chance we could talk for a while" She asked.

"Bout what?" he replied.

Just as she was about to reply, Eragon crashed into the room and screamed "The British are Coming!!" (No offence to any British people.)

Murtagh and Kendra just stared at him as he "forgot" to stop and kept running towards the open window.

When he realised when he was running it was to late to stop.

He fell out of the 4-story window with a crash.

Murtagh and Kendra ran to the window and saw Eragon smack into the ground.

"Ouch. That's gonna hurt in the morning'" said Murtagh.

"Fuck the morning, that's gonna hurt now." said Kendra.

Murtagh nodded in agreement.

"Oh well. He'll live. I've put him through worse shit than falling out a 4-story window." said Murtagh.

"Really? Like what?" asked Kendra curiously.

"I find it hard to believe you came to talk about the shit I've put my brother through." answered Murtagh.

"Well about that…" Kendra was cut of by a high pitched scream coming from the kitchens. They both ran out of the room and down and into the kitchen to see Roran cowering in the corner.

"Roran. What the fuck is going on?" asked Murtagh.

Roran pointed to the sink warily.

Murtagh sighed and walked over to the sink.

He looked into the sink and laughed.

"It's not funny!" screamed Roran.

"Not funny? It's fuckin' hilarious!" laughed Murtagh.

"What is it?" Kendra asked.

"It's a fuckin' spider!" Murtagh said still laughing.

"A spider?" Kendra said as she started laughing too.

"A spider made you scream like a little girl?!" said Murtagh mildly seriously.

"Did you see that thing?! It's huge!" said Roran.

Katrina walked in and went to see what they were looking at.

"Oh look! A spider! Aww. He's so cute!" Katrina said as she picked up the spider and put him in a jar.

Murtagh and Kendra laughed harder and Roran looked horrified.

"I think I'll call you Spidey" Katrina said as she looked lovingly at the spider.

"Looks like you have some competition Roran." said Murtagh laughing.

Roran just glared at "Spidey"

"If looks could maim!" laughed Kendra.

"Fuck off ye two. Now it's personal." Roran said, his eyes never leaving the spider. If they didn't know better they'd have thought the spider was laughing at Roran.

Roran apparently, didn't know better.

"Ohh it's on!" he said in a challenging tone.

"Okay, I'm am not related to him." said Murtagh.

The second he finished Eragon ran into the kitchen.

"CHEESE MONKEY!!" he yelled before he ran back out.

"Are you still related to Eragon?" Kendra asked Murtagh who was staring at the door with a horrified look on his face.

"Eragon who?" he replied. Kendra laughed.

"Right. Just to stop me murdering me little brother, I'm gonna go out and kill some Raa'zak." Murtagh said.

"Okay. We can talk later." replied Kendra.

She'd never got to ask him about birthdays.

"Cheese Monkey?" she said to herself as she went to her room which was next to Murtaghs with Arya to her other side and Eragon to Murtaghs other side.

A few hours later she heard Murtagh return.

She got up and went to his room.

"Hi. How was the Raa'zak hunting?" she asked.

"Grand. Killed about a dozen. One of the stabbed me in the arm. But hey I've had worse." he replied.

"So about what I wanted to talk about earlier." she said.

"What?" he asked.

"Well, Someone told me it was your birthday tomorrow." she said carefully.

"And who might that have been?" asked Murtagh.

"Nasuada." she answered.

"Hmm" said Murtagh.

"Eragon said you hated your birthday. I was just wondering why." she said.

"I have my reasons. I never really liked them to begin with but my third and forth birthdays were 2 of my worst days ever." he replied.

"What happened." she asked knowing she was pushing her luck.

"My third birthday I had a sword thrown at me which nearly killed me, and my fourth birthday- two days after my mother returned - she died. Now do you understand? And my 13th wasn't exactly good either." Murtagh answered much to Kendras surprise.

"Yeah. I understand. What happened on your 13th?" she asked wondering if she'd get an answer.

"First time I killed a man. Damn he deserved it though. Urgals, yeah I've been killing them since I was 11 but 13 was the first time I killed a man." Murtagh replied.

"Why did you kill him? What did he do?" Kendra asked him.

"He tried to kill us. Tornac, my friend Fionn and I were in the forest with 3 other men. We were playing a game of Manhunt. Good game. But my team were hiding. Tornac was on the river bank, Fionn was in a bush and I was hidden in a really high tree that no one else could climb as high as me in.

We could all see each other because we knew where to look. Tornac was the easiest to see. Some thief saw him. Fought him. We just watched. Tornac won easily.

But had a moment of kindness. He tried to help the man up. He did and the man pushed him against the tree and went to stab him.

I jumped out of the tree and hit the man in the back.

He turned around and said I had no chance against him. We fought. I kicked his ass. Stabbed him half by accident.

And as he died he asked how did a kid beat him. Then he died. And I didn't care.

Tornac dumped his body in the bush and left it there.

Then we went back to our hiding places and kept playing like nothing had happened. I never cared, and I still don't." answered Murtagh.

" That's a sad story." Said Kendra.

"The fucker tried to kill us. So I bet him to it." replied Murtagh. "Now anything else you wanted to know?" He asked.

"No" Kendra. "Good. Night." He said. Kendra left.

"Whoa. And I thought my life was fucked." she said to herself.

The next morning they were all woken by the sound of Eragon singing "Irish Rover" by the Pogues and the Dubliners.

"On the Fourth of July, 1806
We set sail from the sweet cove of Cork
We were sailing away with a cargo of bricks
For the Grand City Hall in New York
'Twas a wonderful craft
She was rigged fore and aft
And oh, how the wild wind drove her
She stood several blasts
She had twenty seven masts
And they called her The Irish Rover"

"ERAGON!!, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Murtagh yelled as he got up. "Damn that kid can't sing." he said to himself.

"Good morning Murtagh." Thorn said to his Rider.

"Marnin" Murtagh replied.

"Are you still tired?" asked Thorn.

"Yes. I didn't get to sleep till late and my little brothers terrible singing woke me up." replied Murtagh.

"Happy Birthday Murtagh." Thorn said.

Murtagh groaned. "I hate birthdays." he said..

"No. You hate your birthday." said Thorn.

"Yeah…" Murtagh said.

"And he rolled the dames under and over
They all knew at a glance
When he took up his stance
That he sailed in The Irish Rover" Eragon sang.

"Right that's it. That kid's going down." said Murtagh as he ran out of the room.

"There was Barney McGee
From the banks of the Lee
There was Hogan from County Tyr…."

Eragon was cut off as Murtagh rugby-tackled him and the two fell down the stairs throwing punches at each other.

Kendra and Arya emerged from there rooms and saw Eragon and Murtagh killing each other.

The two women laughed.

"Men." they said at the same time.

They smiled at each other and went to freshen up.

Nasuada came out of her study to see what all the commotion was.

"Murtagh! Eragon! Stop this at once!" she screamed.

The two brothers payed no attention to her.

"BOYS!" she yelled again but received the same reaction.

"Okay. That's it." She said as she screamed at the top of her lungs. Which was very loud. The brothers stop fighting and got up with their hands over their ears.

"Good now what were you two fighting because of in the first place?" asked Nasuada.

"He attacked me!" said Eragon.

"That fool wouldn't stop singing! I told him to shut up but he wouldn't listen. I mean have you heard his singing?! It's sounds like Galbatorix!" Murtagh said.

"Well done Nasuada. You got them to stop." said Kendra descending the staircase to the three of them.

"It involved screaming at the top of my lungs." answered Nasuada.

"We are still here ya know!" said Eragon.

"No your not." said Murtagh as he pushed Eragon into the river again.

"Well. That worked." he said as he went back up the stairs.

"Eragon. Are you alright?" asked Saphira.

"Yes. Just cold." Eragon answered.

"Damn. Oh I mean good!" said Saphira in a fake pleased voice.

Eragon glared at her.

"Is there something wrong with your eyes Eragon? You're squinting a lot." asked Kendra.

"I'm glaring genius." said Eragon.

"Oh well that's rich coming from Brain Trust." retorted Kendra.

"I'm going to find Murtagh." she finished.

As she walked up the stairs her thoughts strayed to Murtagh.

"Damn. Do I like him as a friend??? Or as something more? Well that's a dumb question. I like him as more than a friend. Or do I? Yes I really do. Oh shit I'm arguing with my self! That cant be good!" she thought to herself.

"You know talking to yourself is the first sign of madness. Arguing with yourself is the second." Thorn projected his thoughts into Kendras head.

"Oh really? And have you been listening to all of that?"

"If it's true that arguing with yourself is the second sign of madness, then Murtagh's totally insane. And yes I was listening." said Thorn.

"Great. Now you know I like Murtagh." she said irritably.

"I've known for a long time. That just confirmed it." replied Thorn.

"So what should I do?" she asked.

"Nothing. At least not yet. I can find out if he likes you first. I'm already pretty sure he does." replied Thorn.

"Why do you think that?" asked Kendra hopefully.

"Because, sweetheart, if anyone else had asked Murtagh why he hated his birthday he would have told them to fuck off. He never would have actually told someone that." He answered.

"Thanks Thorn." said Kendra.

"For what?" Thorn asked.

"Thanks. Just thanks." she replied as she walked into her room.

"Well that was odd." said Thorn.

"Nice girl." said Saphira.

"Yeah." he replied.

"Eragon is still obsessed with Arya. He seems convinced that Arya is just playing hard to get. She's not though. Eragon is just going to get hurt again." said Saphira.

"Yeah he will. He should just give up." replied Thorn.

"He wont. He'll give up on everything except Arya. Well Arya and that Galbatorix has "Cheese Monkeys" that he's planning on sending out to kill us all." Saphira said.

"Ha. Eragon really is a fool." Thorn laughed.

"Yes but he's the opposite to Murtagh and it's always interesting to watch them clash." Saphira replied.

"So so true." Thorn said as he drifted off to sleep.

Outside the Dragon Hold near the lake, Eragon was waiting for Arya to tell her, yet again, how he felt about her.

There's Chapter 4 up! I might update tomorrow if I have a chance. I'm in Ireland so the times are different. I don't particularly like this chapter. I think it could be much better. But ohh well. This is my 3rd update in 2 days. So I'm doing pretty well. Let me know what ya think! And let me know if you think I should do a Kendra One-Shot and a Non-humour Kendra/Murtagh fic.

Thanks!