A/n: I'm back!!! With a new chapter! And many thanks to Q's Little Girl and Bill Preston for some of the ideas in this chapter. Also thanks to everyone who reviewed! You all make me so happy! Also as I have said in "Murtagh Morzansson. This is my life" that Cheese will be my divider, in this, Pie will be my divider!!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Kendra, a few stoners and the people in the Store! Damn I really wish I owned Murtagh. That would be so awesome!

Quote:

"Why are you here?" The Shade looked at him with contempt in his red eyes and smiled. "To gloat, of course. What use is a victory if one cannot enjoy it?" - Eragon and Durza.

Chapter 5: Rehab.

"Hmmm. Where in Helzvog's name could Arya be? Why would she late for a meeting with me? Ohh well she's just playing hard to get again. I'll wait. I have nothing else to do with my extremely interesting life." Eragon said to himself as he sat next to the pond.

Arya strolled around the corner and sat down across from him on a large rock.

"Hey Eragon. Now what did you want." She said as she settled down.

"I wanted to tell you I love you…..Again." he replied hopefully.

"Haha Eragon likes a girl!!" She answered laughing.

"Why do you have to be so mean?!" Eragon cried.

"I don't. Just to you." She replied.

"Bye Bye." She said as she pushed him into the pond.

"AHHHHH!!!! I'm all wet!" Eragon said as he began crying loudly. Very loudly.

"Haha you're wet!" Arya screamed as she ran off and left Eragon trying to swim.

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"Emm. What the hell is going on?!" asked Murtagh as he came down to see a crowd cheering in a circle.

"They're watching a fight" said Kendra.

"What fight?" He asked curiously.

"Emm. Roran and "Spidey"" she answered.

"Roran and Spidey? Please tell me I misheard you." he replied.

"No. You heard right." she said.

"My family are retards." he said as he walked to the front of the crowd.

"At least I don't have 8 legs!" Roran screamed at Spidey.

"Still not talking eh?! 8-legged-freak!" he kept screaming.

"Well, well… You have funny eyes!!" Roran yelled.

"Ohh you did not just say that to me you fuckin' spider!!"

"Emm. Roran? He didn't say anything. He's a Spider." Murtagh interrupted.

"Stay out of this Murtagh!! This is personal!" Roran screamed and went silent for a second.

"Well, Screw You!!" He screamed at the Spidey and he stomped off to pout.

"Murtagh, is it just me or is Spidey laughing at Roran?" Kendra asked a very confused Murtagh.

"At this stage nothing could surprise me." he answered as

Arya ran past screaming "Eragon's wet!!!".

"Even that?" asked Kendra.

Murtagh sighed. "No. Not surprised" he said.

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While the Spider "incident" was occurring, Eragon had gotten out of the river and made his way to a Liquor Store.

He had a bag over his hand as he walked in.

"Great. Now I'm in such an Evil mood, I'm going to rob this Liquor Store" He said to himself as he walked in.

"Everybody freeze this is a hold-up!" He yelled as he walked in and pulled the bag off his hand revealing, wait for it, wait for it, a Water gun!! "Don't make me use this! Now give me the money!" He yelled.

"Mommy? What is that man doing with the water gun?" a small child in the corner of the shop asked his mother.

"Never mind Seany. He's insane. He must be the mental hospital escapee." Seany's mother replied.

"Damn it woman, I will use this!" yelled Eragon at the woman behind the counter.

She just stared at him.

"I didn't want to have to resort to this but you give me no choice! Haha!" He said as he squirted her with the gun.

"Sir, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The woman said.

"NEVER!!! Haha!!" he screamed.

"Sir you're shouting again. Please stop shouting." The woman replied.

"NO!! I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!!!" he yelled even louder.

"OK. That's it. SECURITY!!" she screamed for the security man to call Murtagh and get "The Blondie fool" out of here.

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A very pissed Murtagh drove up in a 1969 Dodge Charger R/T (Lovely Car. One of My Faves.) to the store and walked into the back room and apologised and dragged Eragon out of the store by his blonde hair.

He threw him into the back of the car and got in the front himself and started driving.

"Right. Eragon, You're going to Rehab and that's the end. I don't give two shits what you say. You're going." Murtagh said in a pissed off tone.

"NNNNOOOO!!!" Eragon cried in the back seat.

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When they returned to the Varden Murtagh pushed Eragon to through the entrance and sent him to his room.

"So. What's the plan now?" asked Kendra as she emerged from the kitchens.

"Well, I said I was sending him to Rehab because he's obviously high as a fuckin' kite, but maybe that's a little harsh?"

"Maybe. Lets go and tell him he might not have to go." Kendra replied and the two started up the stairs.

They reached Eragon's room and walked in. But the sight they saw was terrifically disturbing.

Eragon was wearing a pink mini-skirt and a pale-blue strapless top with knee-high black leather boots with 8-inch heels.

And what makes it even worse, he was singing.

"They tried to make me go to rehab
I said no, no, no.
Yes I been black, but when I come back
You wont know, know, know.

I aint got the time,
And if my daddy thinks I'm fine
They're trying to make me go to rehab
I wont go, go, go.

They tried to make me go to rehab
I said no, no, no"

Eragon sang at the top of his voice into the karaoke machine.

"…….." Kendra said.

"He is so outta here." Murtagh said and he turned and went to go and call the Rehab clinic.

Kendra backed away from the extremely scary scene and ran down the steps.

"Damn. And they said "The Blair Witch Project" was scary shit……" she muttered.

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At Rehab:

"Hi Everybody!"

"Hi Dr. Mick!"

"Today I want everyone to introduce themselves and tell us why they're here." Dr. Mick said to the group.

"We'll start here" He said pointing to a girl in her 20s.

"Right. I'm, like, Lizzy. I'm, like, 22. I'm, like, kinda, like, a stoner. Ya know like?" Lizzy said.

"They went in a clockwise direction which meant they would be ending with Eragon.

"I'm Jimmi. I'm here because I took a fuck-load of pot and was stoned and then went and held up a bank." Said Jimmi.

"I'm Sean. I'm a street racer. I was sent to Tokyo and still kept racing then I got into drugs and I kinda went on a cop-car fuck-up." Sean said.

"I'm Eragon. I got high on something I can't remember and then I went and held up a Liquor Store with a Water-gun and then they got pissed and then they called my brother and then he said he was gonna send me here and I got sent to my room and then my Brother and our friend Kendra came up for some reason and I was in my room in a pink mini-skirt and really high leather heels and I was singing "Rehab" and then my Brother brought me here and on the way I asked why I was going here and he said "Because I aint puttin' up with your shite anymore." and here I am." Eragon said.

"Alright…… That's a very … colourful story." Said Dr. Mick.

"Colourful and Fucked-Up." said Jimmi.

"Amen to that." joined Sean.

"And I thought like my life was like fucked." said Lizzy.

"Yeah my life is weird. Murtagh says that it's no wonder mom left me and went back to him in the castle and….."Eragon began.

"Did you ever get punched in the face for talking too much?" interrupted Sean.

"Emmm. No. Why?" asked Eragon.

"Surprising. I thought people would be lining up to punch you.

Oh well. There's a first time for everything……" Sean replied.

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A/n: There's chapter 5 finished. More thanks to Bill Preston and Q's Little Girl.

So will Eragon survive Rehab and Sean? Will Murtagh manage to get his sanity back? Will Roran finally get his revenge on Spidey? No one knows… Not even me…..

Thanks for reading!

Dragon Rider Murtagh.