A/n: Hey there people. You're all probably gonna hate me by the end of this chapter. But stay with me and check for another story soon. Really sorry peoples but I really have to do this.

Disclaimer: Must I do this every chapter ? I do not own anything but Spidey, the Stoners, Paddy and Kendra.

PLEASE READ THE AURTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END. IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT!

Chapter 6: Expect the Unexpected

--Back at the Varden--

"So. Do you think Eragon will survive Rehab?" Kendra asked a seemingly relaxed Murtagh.

"God, I hope not. He's been doing my head in since I got free from Galbatorix. I never thought I'd miss Uru'baen. Ever."

He replied as he put his feet up on the table.

"Feet off the table!" said Roran as he entered the room and hit Murtagh feet off the table.

"Oh don't you have a spider to be threatened by?" Murtagh asked irritably.

"Not until 3." Roran replied.

"What happens at 3?" asked Kendra.

"What do you mean 3? Where did 3 come from? What are you on woman?" replied Roran as he left the room.

"Emm. That was odd." said Kendra.

"It's Roran. What's new?" Murtagh answered as someone knocked on the door. He got up to answer it.

"Hello." Murtagh said to the young woman standing at the door.

"Al-right... I'm here to join the Varden" the girl replied as she looked at the note in her hand.

"Sorry miss. What's your name?" Murtagh asked again.

"Lauren." Lauren replied as she walked past Murtagh.

"Ahh Lauren. You're here. Although we were expecting you yesterday." Nasuada said as she came in through another door.

" Well right. Ryan went and had this party last night. And he didn't invite me right. But, I went with Liese anyway right and Ryan came up to me and told me to get out and I sat there, and said "what?" Then Liese said "she don't have to go Ryan." and he said "Yeah she does. I don't want her here." and I'm just sittin' there like "Am I bovvered? Look at my face. Does my face look bovvered? It don't look bovvered 'cause I aint bovvered!" and I left which is great, 'cause it was mushup." Lauren said.

"Well. Alright then. I gotta go get Eragon." Murtagh said as he left the room.

"Is everyone here like him?" Lauren asked.

"Well no." Kendra replied.

"Am I bovvered?" asked Lauren as she walked off.

"Why does the Varden attract all the weirdos?" asked Kendra.

"Are you callin' me a whino?!" Lauren shouted.

ApplePieApplePieApplePieApplePie

--At Rehab--

"Well class. What did we learn today?" asked Dr. Mick.

"That Sean's fists hurt." Eragon muttered nursing his still heavily bleeding nose.

"What was that Eragon?" asked Sean flexing his hand.

"Nothing!" said Eragon quickly.

"Good." replied Sean.

"I learnt that people that go to Rehab, like, just, like, end up even bigger stoners, like." Said Lizzy as she leant back on her chair.

"I learnt that if you ever need pot, booze or gambling then go to a Rehab clinic." said Jimmi.

"Can we go now?" asked Sean.

"You may leave. Back here same time next week." Dr Mick said as he left the room with Eragon close behind him to get away from Sean.

Eragon ran as fast as he could. Problem was, he was still looking behind him. Resulting in him smacking in to tree.

"Ouff." he said as he tried to pick himself up off the ground.

"Double ouff." he said as he slipped and hit the ground again.

"Top off the morning to ya." said a little ginger man wearing all green.

"Am I dead? Are you Santa?" asked Eragon.

"No laddy. You aint dead and I aint Santa." replied the little man.

"Then who are you? And why are you here?" asked Eragon again.

"Aye, I'm Paddy the Leprechaun and I'm not here. You're just crazy." replied Paddy the Leprechaun.

"Okey dokey then. That makes no sense to me. So it must be true!" Eragon said.

"Aye. Now you're getting' it! For that, I will grant you one wish." said Paddy.

"Wow. Really?" asked Eragon.

"Nah not really laddy. I just like messin' with the crazy peoples that come to me." Paddy laughed as he skipped off over the rainbow.

"Wow. I was just outsmarted by a Leprechaun called Paddy. Weird." said Eragon as he fell back into unconsciousness.

"Eragon!"

Eragon groaned.

"Eragon!"

Eragon groaned again.

"Eragon! Wake up before I kill you!"

"Murtagh?" Eragon asked.

"Well no shit Sherlock." Murtagh replied.

"Now get up off your arse and into the car."

Eragon sighed as he got into the car and they drove back towards the mountain.

ApplePieApplePieApplePieApplePie

--The Kitchens--

"Make your move Spidey. Cuz it's the last one you're gonna make." said Roran.

Spidey glared at him and extended one hairy leg and moved.

"Checkmate" Roran could almost hear Spidey saying.

"NO! How did you beat me?! You cheated! I will kill you, you damn Spider.

Don't laugh at me! I will beat you, damn it! I demand a rematch!"

Roran screamed.

Spidey looked at him and Roran was sure he heard a sigh.

ApplePieApplePieApplePieApplePie.

--The Lounge--

"Where are Murtagh and Eragon?" Nasuada thought to herself.

Lauren and Kendra had been screaming at each other for the last hour.

Just on cue, the brothers walked in.

"I've decided that Eragon doesn't have to go to Rehab anymore." Murtagh announced.

"Okay." said Kendra removing herself from the shouting match.

"Who's the girl in the weird clothes?" asked Eragon pointing at Lauren.

"Are you disrespecting me?! Are you callin' me a pikey?! Are you disrespecting my Family? Are you callin' my mum poor?!" Lauren screamed at Eragon.

"Eeep." Eragon replied as he hid under the table.

CRASH!!! A huge bang was heard from the kitchen.

The group ran in to find the table flung across the room and Roran cornering Spidey into the corner of the room.

"Damn you Spidey! You steal my girlfriend, my dignity and then beat me at chess! I won't have it!" Roran yelled as he brought the newspaper down.

SPLAT!

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A/n:

Lauren is obviously Lauren Cooper of "The Catherine Tate Show".

I told you that you'd all hate me.

That's the end of Journey of the Idiots. Check my page every now and then. You might just get a pleasant surprise if you liked this story.

Roran won, Spidey lost. The end of the possible epic war that could have occurred. Spidey's finished. Or is he? Is the story of Roran and Spidey really over? Or is it only beginning?

Dragon Rider Murtagh