Drunk Logan
Chapter 12
DISCLAIMER: Just a reminder...I own nothing. Although, Logan is totally on my wish list. You think my hubby will give him to me for our next anniversary?
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Veronica's eyes blinked several times before she squinted them open. The sun shining into the room was bright, but she felt terribly exhausted. She knew she had to get out of bed. She had to get to school early to help Logan clean up the A/V room. 'Didn't my alarm go off?' Veronica lifted her head to look at the alarm clock on her headboard. 'What the? What's going on?' Veronica thought as she looked up at the clock that wasn't there and at a headboard that wasn't hers. 'Where am I?'
She froze when she heard a deep, throaty moan and felt strong arms tighten around her. She turned around slowly and saw Logan asleep beside her.
Seeing him reminded her of exactly why she was there. Although, she remembered meeting Logan this morning, cleaning up the A/V room and then finding that horrible journal entry on Duncan's laptop; she didn't remember how she got to Logan's house and in his bed. In fact, she didn't remember much after reading the confession that had shaken her to the core.
As she looked at Logan sleeping so peacefully and holding her so securely; she wanted to let herself melt into him. She couldn't, though.
'This is Logan Echolls,' she reminded herself, 'and now he knows that I slept with my brother.'
Logan opened his eyes and looked at her just as a single tear escaped. His heart ached for the pain that she was in and he reached up and wiped the tear away.
Staring at a now fully awake Logan, despair filled Veronica. She felt so ashamed that she had to look away from him. 'Why didn't I leave before he woke up. This is so humiliating. I just want to find a rock, climb under it and never come out again.' She was hoping that maybe if they laid there long enough, he would just drift back to sleep and she could sneak out.
"Veronica?" Logan said gently like he was trying to calm a scared child, which in so many ways, is exactly what she was.
'Right, Veronica. Because when did anything ever go your way?' She chastised herself.
"I need to use the restroom." Veronica whispered as she sat up and got off the bed. She had no idea why she was being so formal. Usually she would have said something like, 'I've gotta go to the bathroom.' She just couldn't relax at all with this new information. She knew that the only reason she had fallen asleep earlier was because she had exhausted herself.
When she shut Logan's bathroom door behind her, she was finally able to breathe. She felt like she hadn't really breathed since Logan opened his eyes. She sat down on the tub edge and tried to figure out what her next step was. She knew that she wouldn't be able to hold it together if she let herself think of everything she had discovered. She didn't want Logan to see her like that. In fact, she didn't really want Logan to see her at all.
She had not wanted anyone to know about her personal pain when she thought she'd been raped, especially after Lamb laughed in her face. Now, though, she'd broadcast it on the evening news if she could ensure that no one, including Logan, knew about this new twist of events.
By this point, her skin was crawling. She just couldn't get comfortable. She felt dirty and messy and her clothes felt like they were clinging to her body in a choking manner.
Suddenly she began stripping down. She just needed to rid herself of the feeling of hands all over her body. She got into Logan's shower quickly and started scrubbing away at her skin. She had the water so hot that the oversized bathroom steamed up in a matter of minutes. Her skin was red from the temperature of the water and the harsh scrubbing.
Although she wished she was home alone, she was glad that she was somewhere that would allow her to have a long, steaming hot shower. After she had scrubbed what she was sure were a couple of layers of skin off, she just sat in the bottom of the tub while the shower rained down on her. She was finally beginning to feel a little more comfortable in her own skin.
When she finally got out and dried off, she picked up her clothes to put them back on, but she couldn't. Just touching her clothes made her feel gross. They were too constricting, too revealing. She felt like if she wore them, everyone would be able to see what she'd done. She put them in the trash and then walked into Logan's closet, which was connected to his bathroom.
She put on some sweats that were huge on her, but she felt like she was wrapped in a big blanket that no one could see under. When she went back into the bathroom, she looked at herself in the mirror. She decided that she looked like a drowned rat. She had baggy clothes, wet stringy hair and her face and her hands were still red from the abuse of the shower.
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Logan had been sitting on his bed since her hasty retreat. He was so worried about her, but had no idea of what to do to make it better. He wished he could just make it go away, but he knew he couldn't. He felt so useless.
He thought about calling for take-out, but didn't want to leave the room long enough to go to the front door when it arrived. He wanted to be as close to her as he could; the need to protect her was overwhelming.
When her phone rang, he didn't even think when he answered it.
"Hello?" Logan said.
"Hello? Uh, yeah. I'm calling for Veronica. Is this her phone?" The boy sounded confused.
"Yeah, but she's busy right now. Can I give her a message?" Logan knew that Veronica wouldn't want to talk to anyone right then; and unless it was life or death, he wasn't about to tell her she had a phone call.
"Who is this?"
"Logan. Who's this?" He was getting irritated now. He wasn't in any mood to play around and waste time.
"This is Troy. What are you doing with Veronica's phone?" He sounded a little defensive and it pissed Logan off. 'He thinks he's protecting Veronica from the big bad Logan Echolls. Well, golly for him,' Logan thought sarcastically.
"We had to wrap up some stuff from Lilly's video. She's in the bathroom right now. I'll let her know you called." Logan said with a possessive aire.
As he lowered the phone, he heard Troy's mumbled, "Yeah, right."
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When Veronica carefully stepped out of the bathroom, Logan jumped up. He was mildly shocked that she was wearing his clothes, but he was glad. It felt like he'd been able to do something for her, provide her with something. She looked tiny in his over-sized clothes and had it been any other situation, he would have laughed at the sight.
Her head was down and he wished she would look up at him. He needed to look into her eyes and know that she was okay. Since she didn't seem to want to do that or to even say anything, he figured he should just ask her.
"You doing okay?" He asked as carefully as he could. He didn't know what the right words were, or how to speak to her without upsetting her.
"Logan," she started out quietly and with a raspy voice from all of the crying she'd done.
She cleared her throat, but still spoke just as softly. "I-" she stopped and he could see the frown and confusion on her face even from the angle he had.
"Look, you have information now. Information that you can use however you want. I just wanted to remind you that this can hurt Duncan, too."
He was staring at her trying to understand what she was even talking about.
"Information? Use however I want?" He was speaking out loud, but not to Veronica. He was just trying to decipher the code she was speaking. Then it hit him.
"You think I'm going to use this to hurt you?" Wow, talk about a direct hit. Logan was stunned.
"I don't know what you're going to do. I'd appreciate your discretion, but I doubt you're really looking for my appreciation. So, all I can ask is that you consider your best friend before saying anything about this."
He stood dumbfounded, unable to move. 'Appreciation? She thinks I am a total monster.'
After a moment of silence, he watched as she nodded her head, satisfied that she'd made her point.
"I need to get home, I'll return your clothes to you as soon as possible." Veronica said as she made her way to the bedroom door.
"Wait, I drove you here, Veronica." He was finally able to speak and he had regained control of his limbs. He strode after her.
"It's fine, I'll walk." Veronica needed to get away from him.
"Veronica, No...STOP!" He finally yelled. When she jumped a little, he mentally kicked himself for yelling at her.
"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I just needed you to stop and talk to me." When he got in front of her, he was agitated that he couldn't see her face. Then he realized that she had still not looked at him once since emerging from the bathroom. When he tried to lift her chin with his hand, she moved away from his touch. It was like a rush of cold wind hit him.
All he'd wanted to do for the last week was to have some sort of contact with her. Now especially, when she needed someone so badly, he wanted to wrap her in his arms and never let anyone touch her ever again. Unfortunately, she had gone from clinging to him like her life depended on it to pushing him away and not even looking at him.
"Why won't you look at me?" He waited for her response, but it never came.
"Veronica, why won't you look at me? Tell me."
"I can't," she finally whispered.
"What do you mean you can't?" Again, it seemed like he was totally lost in this two-person conversation. After some hesitation, she finally spoke up again.
"I can't because..." she stopped. He watched as she opened and closed her mouth several times before continuing. "I don't have the strength to see the look on your face."
"What look? Please, Ronnie, I don't know what you're talking about." He was pleading with her to make sense.
"The look you're giving me, knowing what I've done." He couldn't believe what he was hearing. She was truly broken right now and he had to fix her.
"Veronica." He said sternly. "Veronica, look at me."
"No please, Logan. Don't make me do this, I can't." He could tell she was on the verge of tears when she added, "I'm so ashamed."
"That's it, Veronica. You look at me right now." He was incensed and he grabbed her chin and raised her face to look at his. "You have no reason to be ashamed. This is not your fault! You didn't know he was your brother, you thought you'd been raped." Her eyes widened when he said 'raped,' but he continued. "You don't actually know that it's true, anyway. Veronica, don't just assume that this is right. How do we know that this isn't some mistake. Maybe Jake just told Duncan that because Celeste didn't want you to date him. Maybe Jake does think you're his daughter, but you're not. Don't just take this lying down and accept it as fact. That's not the Veronica Mars I know. Come on, Ms. P.I. What would you do if someone hired you for a case like this?"
He could see the wheels turning in her head. He almost had her.
"I guess I'd tell them to get a paternity test." She didn't sound very convinced, but at least she was talking to him.
"Yeah, exactly. So, let's do it. Where do we start?" He asked, happy to get started on a tangible mission. This was something that they could take action on and he was hoping it would be a sufficient distraction.
She looked at him with an odd expression on her face. "We? You don't have to do anything. I know that we're not friends, Logan, and I'm not expecting anything from you. This isn't your problem."
"Argh, why not, Veronica?" He really had to control his emotions now. "Look, I know I've been the biggest ass to you, but please don't shut me out now. I thought things were getting better between us and I don't want that to change."
"I am so sorry for everything that has happened this last year. I don't even know where to begin. All I know is that everything that I thought I was mad about, just doesn't seem to matter anymore. What matters is that you were one of my best friends. I lost you when I lost Lilly. I don't want that again. Look, I'm laying it out for you. I. Am. Sorry. I need you to know that I would never tell anyone about this. I would never and I will never use this to hurt you. I promise you."
"I've had a little reminder this last week of what we had. It's been a major wake up call. The thought of losing that, of losing you again is killing me. Please, you've got to believe me. I don't want to hurt you anymore." He was begging her with his words and his body language.
"Uh..." Veronica didn't know what to say. She was dumbfounded by his admission. Could she trust him after everything?
"Look, you can make me pay for what I've done every single day for the rest of our lives, just as long as we're friends again, okay?" He waited for her answer.
"What the heck? At this point, there really isn't much I could lose. You already have enough ammunition to destroy me if you wanted. There's no harm in seeing if you're telling the truth." She shrugged.
"Well, I can't say that I'm overwhelmed by your confidence in my sincerity, but that's okay. I can live with it and I'll prove it to you in time."
"So, back to this paternity thing. I guess the easiest way to go about this would be to get a sample of mine and my dad's hair and send it for testing. There's information for a DNA testing place my dad uses at the office and then we can go to my house to collect a sample of his hair."
"Let's go, then." Logan ushered her out to his car.
When they were driving to Mars Investigations, Logan had a thought. "Won't your dad think it's a little weird seeing you in my clothes. I don't want to get shot or anything." He smirked.
She had to admit that it was nice to have a little bit of normalcy in their conversation. "No, don't worry. He's in New Mexico chasing a bail jumper for the next couple of days."
"What!" Logan looked at her like she'd grown two heads.
"What, what?" She had no idea what had him so riled.
"You're dad's gone? Where are you going to stay?" He had grown very serious.
"Um, at home. What's the problem, Logan? I do it all the time, I am old enough to stay by myself, you know." She was chuckling a little at him.
"No way. No way you're staying there by yourself. Either you stay at my house or I'll stay at yours. There is no way I'm leaving you alone." He was deadly serious. She had really scared him with the way she had reacted to the news that morning. Not that he blamed her, he didn't know what he would've done if he'd found out that Lilly was his sister. He shuddered slightly at the thought.
"Logan, it's fine, really."
"Veronica, it's not up for discussion. Whether we talk about it or not, you have had a rough day and I won't leave you to deal with it alone." She might be fine right now, but Logan knew how it was when you were left alone with your thoughts for too long. That's how he ended up in the emotional state he was in when he was "drunk" with Veronica.
She just shook her head and figured she could fight with him about it later. She still didn't have the energy to fight right now. The fact that she wasn't curled up in bed at that moment was a shock to her.
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They made the rounds and picked up everything they needed from the office and her apartment. When they were there, they put the hair samples in the envelope and decided that they would go to the post office so they could get it into the mail as soon as possible.
"Are we going to school tomorrow?" Logan asked her as she was filling out the address information on the package.
"Well, I don't know what WE are doing." She shot him a look, "I need to go to school, especially since I missed today. I just don't think I can face Duncan right now."
"Well, WE will deal with it, but if WE are going to school then you need to pack some school clothes. As good as you look in my clothes, I don't think it's a good idea for you to go to school in them." He winked at her and smiled.
"Why would I need to pack my school clothes? And, why would I be going to school in your clothes?"
"Well, when you wake up at my house tomorrow, you're going to need something to wear. Unless you want to try your hand at what's in Trina's closet?" She shook her head. "No? Well, then you'd better pack."
"Logan, I never said that I was going to stay with you. Plus, I have to take care of Backup."
"Yeah, and you never said that you weren't going to stay with me, either. There is much more room at my house. If I stay here, I'd have to sleep on the couch or in your dad's bed, which isn't happening by the way. At my house, you have 3 different rooms you can choose from, depending on which decor suits your fancy. And, you can bring the mutt along, I don't bite."
"My, my. I forgot what it was like to hang out with the rich and famous. I knew you were good for something." She smirked at him. 'He wants to play it like that, then we'll play. Bring it on.'
"Yeah, yeah. Hurry up and get a move on. We didn't have lunch and I'm starving. We can grab some take out after we hit the post office. Then, we'll go home and watch a movie." Logan said as he pushed her by the small of her back toward her room. "And remember to bring something to sleep in. I'd hate for you to have nothing to wear to bed." He waggled his eyebrows at her and laughed.
She just rolled her eyes at him as she proceeded toward her bedroom to pack. They were on their way within 20 minutes. They got everything done and arrived at his house just in time for dinner.
"Finally, we're home! First order of business is to eat." Logan hadn't eaten anything the entire day. Between getting up early to see her and them sleeping through lunch, he was starving.
"What?" She had a weird look on her face and he was wondering what she was thinking.
"Nothing, let's get going. I wouldn't want to lose you to starvation after all of this. I'm just going to set up Backup's stuff before we go upstairs." She wasn't going to tell him that she thought it was sweet that it was the second time he had referred to "home," instead of saying "my house." It made her feel warm and like she was a real part of his life. She blushed at her foolishness. She knew she was being a total girl and reading too much into simple words.
They decided to eat while they watched a movie in his room. Neither of them said it, but there was just something more comfortable about being in the safety of his bedroom versus a massive-sized den or their family theater.
Logan kept watching her out of the corner of his eye. Although she had told him what she wanted to eat, she had barely touched her food.
"Hey, you okay? You've barely eaten a thing." Concern was etched across his face.
"Yeah, I'm just tired. Been a long day, you know?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I should let you get to bed. Look, all of the guest rooms are ready so just pick your pleasure." Logan didn't want her to go to bed, but he knew she was exhausted. It was just selfish of him to try to keep her up so that he could spend more time with her.
"Actually, I was thinking maybe I'd just sleep right here, if that's okay with you?" She said as she patted her spot on the floor. She may have planned to be home alone tonight, but she was glad Logan made her come home with him. She didn't want to be alone tonight and she definitely didn't want to wake up in one of the guest rooms.
"What? Not on my floor, right?" Logan knew he wasn't understanding her. It didn't make any sense.
"Yeah, I mean I just don't feel like waking up alone in a guest room somewhere." She hesitated, "It's stupid, I'm sorry. I'll go get settled in one of the rooms." She started to get up. She was totally embarrassed. 'Of course he would want his privacy. Why did I even suggest it?'
"Wait!" Logan shot up from the floor and stopped her. He panicked, thinking that she thought he didn't want her there.
"Hey, you can stay in here. But, you're not sleeping on the floor, Veronica. You can sleep in my bed. It's a king so there's plenty of room. Plus, we've already slept together and I didn't take advantage of you then, did I?" He was joking, but he realized what he had said. "Oh, Veronica. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to joke about that. I..."
"It's okay, Logan. I'm okay." Veronica knew he didn't mean anything by it, he was just trying to lighten the situation. She walked up to him real serious and looked into his eyes as she spoke softly, "I'm okay, Logan..." then she spoke louder and faster, "but I call the right side." She spun around and ran into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
He just laughed. He figured that if she was going to be sleeping in his bed, she could choose whatever side she wanted.
When she came out of the bathroom, he started rethinking this great plan. She was dressed in a tank top and sleep shorts. He passed by her quickly to go to the bathroom to get ready. He just hoped that she was in bed and covered by the time he came back out.
When he walked out of the bathroom, all of the lights had been turned off and the room was lit by the movie still playing on the t.v. Luckily, Veronica was snuggled safely in bed and fully covered. She was still awake, but she looked like she was really comfortable and ready to fall asleep. He was just starting to relax when he passed by the night stand...which had her neatly folded bra sitting on it.
"Oh, geez," he groaned. This was going to be a long, hard night.
"What's wrong?" She began to lean up on her elbows and Logan looked away.
"Nothing, nothing. I just remembered I had some homework I forgot to do. Oh, well. It's not like I do a bunch of that anyway." He was hoping she would buy his story.
"Yeah, it must be nice to be Neptune's own 'Golden Boy.'" She giggled.
He got into his side of the bed and was very happy that it was so big. If he could stay on his side, he'd be fine...eventually. He was laying on his back with his hands behind his head and staring at the ceiling. 'If I can just think of anything else, I'll be able to get some sleep.' That was until Veronica moved over to him.
She wrapped her arm around him in a tight hug, "Logan, I just wanted to say thank you...for everything. You seem to be right there when I need you the most. Thank you." She lifted her head to kiss him on the cheek at the same time that he turned his to kiss her head.
Their lips met just briefly, but the touch was electric. They pulled back quickly and looked at each other with wide eyes. All of the sudden, they broke into giggles.
"Well, that wasn't awkward or anything." Veronica said.
"Uh, yeah, sorry. I was going for your head." Logan replied sheepishly.
"I was going for the cheek." She smiled at him. If the lights had been on, they would have seen the blush that had colored both of their faces. She began to roll away, but was stopped when his arms wrapped around her.
He knew he was just torturing himself, but when she started to roll away, he automatically moved to stop her. He wanted her close. When she snuggled back into him and let out a contented sigh, he knew she was okay with it.
They fell asleep happy to be safely wrapped in each other's arms. He wanted nothing more than to have her close and keep her protected. She wanted nothing more at that moment, than the safety and comfort of his presence.
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Miss-Mars: Why thank you. Let's wait until the next chapter before you start asking about Duncan. Next chapter will keep us busy for a bit.
LoVeElle: I love that you had a run of emotion while reading the chapter. Thanks! Still lots more to come.
Alkyndria: Yeah, see I refuse to go through withdrawals. If I just stay in the fic world, I will never have to face the fact that the CW took away my VM. In Denial
SaraLyleth: Well, if you didn't see that happening, wait until you see next chapter. :-) Thanks for your great review.
dzimmermann87: my suggestion...definitely get at least S1 on dvd. It's not too expensive right now since it's older...and it's the best way to really experience it from the beginning. Plus, S1 is so great, you'll probably want to watch it over and over and have your own personal copy and be able to stare at the pics of JD and rub the box for comfort...or is that just me? Er...forget I said anything. Anyway...thanks...its great to hear from you.
IluvVM: Thank you so much, I hope you enjoyed this twist.
Sagebeth: Whew! blushing Thanks!
Literati and naley: Well, Logan is a sweetheart. He can't help himself. :-)
xosummerxo: This ch should have answered you questions...I think.
Lorelei Candice Black: Well? Was it worth the wait?
AJzkitten69: Thank you and welcome to the club!
Kaleena Mason: It makes me so happy to make you cry...seriously. I'm glad that the story touches your emotions. Thx!
RBDFAN: Thanks! So, is it just me, or does Logan remind you of Superman or some other superhero? I don't know, what hero is always there when you need him, but his presence just makes you want to be naked? Hmmm...