CHAPTER FIVE

On the way, she was trying to figure out what was obviously a sneaky hint Severus had given. "The first part is easy enough, but, kittens. He hates kittens. He obviously doesn't want a kitten, and a kitten wouldn't… explain to me what the heck he's talking about. Oh, I could just hex him right now," she said, gripping her wand as if she were about to do just that.

She had gotten no further in deciphering his message when she reached the school. Sighing, she walked towards a staircase that led to the dungeons. When she got downstairs, she took two left turns. "Easy part, over. I suppose. Where am I?"

Hermione looked around in confusion. She was in some sort of back hallway, and was getting very cold, as usual. She squinted at the slab of stone in front of her. It was smooth except for a few markings.

She placed a hand on the wall, and ran her hand across it. "Kittens," she said simply. Nothing happened. She ran her hand across the other way. "Kittens?" she questioned. Still nothing.

"Maybe I took the wrong left." She retraced her steps back to the first place she'd ended up in the dungeons.

"Hmm…" She turned to her left, then immediately turned to the left again, so she was facing a wall that had just been beside her. "Kittens."

A crack appeared in the wall, no, two, three cracks, in the shape of… a door. Hermione sighed. She pushed it gently, and it swung open with surprising ease. "Severus?"

"Do come in," he said, a smug tone to his voice. She did, and found that she was in his living quarters.

Blushing slightly at this fact, she said, "If I wasn't so happy to see you right now, I would hex you to tomorrow."

"I'm shuddering," he said calmly. Hermione glared at him playfully, then dropped her bags and ran over to him. He stood up and slid out from behind his desk to welcome her.

She jumped into his arms and kissed his cheek. "I did it…" she whispered.

"Do tell."

"Um, he was being exceptionally git-y, and I just went off on him and told him I never wanted to see him again."

"I told you," he said, a smile in his voice.

"You told me what?"

"That you could do it with no problem. Did you even use your Relaxer?"

"No. And I guess you did."

He raised his eyebrow. "You guess?"

"Ok, you did tell me so. Thank you so much, Sevvy, I love you forever and ever!"

Severus closed his eyes and said, "Don't make me use my new potion on you."

"Aw, did my Sevvy make a potion? He is so, so smart!"

The Potions Master's face remained neutral. "The potion I have … concocted … is something I think I'll call Shutter."

"Shutter? That makes entirely no sense."

"Oh, but it does," he countered. "If you draw the syllables out… shut... her."

Hermione's eyes widened. "You wouldn't!"

"But I would. So you best decide not to call me… that dreadful name again."

She decided to test his patience. "Which dreadful name?"

"I'm not going to say it," he said with disgust in his voice.

"Oh, then I'll just have to say it. Sevvy? Is that the one? Sevvy, I really do think it's a fine nickname. Perky. Just like… me!"

"Shut… her… that's all I'll say. And it is a rather clear liquid. Meaning I can quite easily… slip some into your drink. And, if it works properly, you will be silent within the minute."

Hermione bit her lip. "Sorry," she said, and sank down to her regular height.

Severus laid a hand on her chin and lifted it up. "No need," he said, and leaned over to kiss her. Slowly, she opened her mouth to his advances and pulled him closer. Her vocal chords let out an instinctive moan, and she felt him slowly moving her towards the closest wall.

She fell against it softly, shivering a little against the cold stone. Severus broke off and whispered, "You're always so cold."

Hermione nodded. "I don't mind, though, as long as you can keep me warm."

He wrapped his arms around her. "My pleasure."

She let her hands fall slowly down his sides until they rested in his larger hands. Their fingers intertwined, and he kissed the back of her hand.

"Sev?"

"What is it?"

"I… I don't know where to stay."

His dark brows creased as he thought about this. "We didn't quite discuss that, did we?"

"No… I was… I mean… I was wondering…" she stammered.

"If you could stay here?" he offered.

Hermione bit her bottom lip and nodded. "I mean… I know you said no one can know… but we can always… uh, make me invisible, or something, when I leave. Can't we?"

"You are rather… small. It shouldn't be terribly difficult to cast an Invisibility Charm on you…"

She looked up at him hopefully, her eyes pleading him to comply. He looked down at her, taken by her imploring gaze. "I suppose we can work that out."

Her face exploded into a huge grin and she hugged him forcefully, so much that he let out a small 'oof.' He wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back gently. He wouldn't tell her, but ever since she had arrived, he'd hope the topic of her living situation would come up. Inside, he was smiling as big as the woman in his arms.

"So, care to show me around, roomie?" she jested, looking up at him eagerly.

"Whatever you wish," he said. He took her by the hand, and began to show her around. Pointing directly in front of him, he said, "If you haven't assumed this already, this is my desk."

Then he pointed to the right. "Over there… well, there are a lot of books. Which desperately need organizing," he hinted. She chuckled.

He led her off to the left, "More books over there, but over here is my bed," they walked into the bedroom, and Hermione saw a king size bed with deep green sheets, and a dark wood headboard, "and through this door is the bathroom." It had a fancy marble sink and a porcelain tub with, Hermione counted quickly, ten different knobs?

"Why on Earth do you have so many knobs for your bathtub?"

He narrowed his eyes, pursed his lips, and gave her a look of utter chagrin. "It was not my doing, and the only ones I ever use are on, off, hot, and cold."

"That doesn't really answer my question," Hermione pointed out.

"Well, fine then." He walked over to the tub and sat down on the edge. "I am merely going to recite what Dumbledore so exuberantly told me when I came here, though with less exuberance."

He started on the left. "This is the knob to turn the water off or on. Pull it out to turn it on, and, in case you're stupider than you've let on, push it in to turn it off. The next is to control the temperature, in the middle is neutral, to the left is cold and to the right is hot."

He sighed; this was where it got obnoxious. "Continuing on, we have freesia, lavender, raspberry, citrus, and chocolate scented lathers. Then, as if it couldn't get more mortifying, we have rose petals, lit candles, and, strangely enough," he said, gesturing to the last knob, which looked rather like a spigot than a knob, "a coffee maker."

Hermione smiled; she could sense how terribly painful that was for him to recite. She sashayed over to him, and began to rub his shoulders. "Why are you so tense?" she asked reflexively.

"Need you ask, really?"

She feigned thinking about it, then said, "Yes. I mean the question as… what in particular is making you tense right now?"

"Oh, the general absurdity of the world," he said vaguely.

"Sev…"

"I just had a bad day. My seventh-year class was brewing the Draught of Peace. Which was a terrible idea on my part—they're really not proficient brewers. Then the third-year classes were all brewing Shrinking Solution, and I'm sad to say most of my students in those classes are even more dreadful than Neville."

He waited a moment for Hermione to yell at him, but she simply said, "Wow. Go on." She knew Neville was awful at making Potions, and didn't really want to get in an argument.

"And, of course, the Forgetfulness Potion, I can pretty much sense the first years talking behind my back about how much of a git I am. The rest of the classes are ok, just the normal mediocre talent, but the bad makes it harder to focus on the good."

Hermione nodded. "I could never be a teacher, I don't think."

Severus smirked and said, "You'd probably just get mad that everyone didn't read their books five times over before the start of term."

She smacked him playfully, then kissed the top of his head. "Probably so."

Her hands were still resting on his shoulders, and she mechanically started rubbing them. When she moved lower, to the middle of his back, she found a huge knot. "Sev! Doesn't this hurt?"

"Oh, not terribly," he lied. Well, it wasn't really a lie—compared to other pains he'd experienced, it wasn't that awful. But it did hurt.

She pulled his arm. "Come on. You are going to lie down, and I am going to get this kink out of your back."

He looked up at her with a hint of mock disdain and murmured, "Yes, mum."

Hermione put her hands on her hips and said, "Intolerable man! Why do I even bother?"

Severus stood up and kissed Hermione softly. 'Oh yeah, that's why,' Hermione thought. When they broke apart, Hermione once again took him by the arm, and dragged him to his bed.

"Lie down," she commanded. He stared at her for a moment, just to prove she didn't have complete control over him, then flopped face down on the bed.

She crawled next to him, sitting cross-legged. Finding the knot again, she began to knead it gently, getting progressively harder. Every so often, his breath would catch when something hurt, but Hermione ignored it, knowing he hated showing weakness.

After a while, Severus could feel the tension relieving somewhat. "Would you…" he began, then cut off, not wanting to request anything.

"What? Would I what?" she prodded.

"My shoulders hurt, too," he said backhandedly.

Hermione smiled, then scooted up the bed a little bit, beginning to rub his shoulders in the same manner. When her hands hurt too much to continue, she patted his back. "Is that better?"

"Immeasurably." He rolled over onto his back—rather nimbly, too—and looked up at Hermione, smiling faintly. He took one of her hands and rubbed it gently with his thumb. His eyelids started to sink, then he closed them. Aware that he would fall asleep if he kept them closed, he opened them again, and sat up.

"Sev, you should rest. You look exhausted," Hermione said with care.

"No, I need to work. Papers to grade," he grumbled.

"I can grade them. What are the papers on?"

"Shrinking Solution, the third years," he told her, then quickly said, "But you will not grade them. If anything, they'd see the handwriting wasn't mine and would ask questions."

She thought for a second, then said, "I can charm the quill so it writes in your handwriting, I'll just have to dictate what it should say."

Severus stared at the girl for a moment, wondering where she managed to fit so much information. He decided she must have a second brain instead of a second kidney, or something, and chuckled at the thought.

"What?" she said with accusation. "Do you think I don't have your wit? 'Have you no ability to comprehend the use of even the simplest ingredients?'

"Or 'This is so bad I don't have an acerbic enough comment to make.'

"Or, even better, 'You best pursue a career in Astronomy, as you have no grasp on complex ideas… or even clear-cut ideas.'"

She was on a roll. "How about simple remarks, 'Simply dreadful.' 'Ridiculous.' 'Ludicrous.'"

Severus grinned at her in utter amusement. "No, I was merely thinking how ludicrously intelligent you are. When and where did you learn how to use the Repliwrite charm?"

She blushed. "It was in Handy Charms for the Plagiarizer. But, I swear, Ron found the book for me, I told him…" she cut off, not wanting to tell her former professor how she'd helped Ron cheat.

"Yes?" he asked with interest.

Quickly, she replied, "I told him if he wanted me to write his papers for him, he better find me a charm that will make it look like he wrote it." She paused, biting her lip. "I didn't really think he'd put any effort into finding something, seeing as how he's so lazy."

"Indeed, he is," Severus replied simply.

"So, I learned it in fourth year, I think. Or fifth."

"Were any of the papers you wrote for my class?" the professor asked curiously.

"No," she said too quickly.

"Mm, that was convincing."

Hermione glared at him. "Anyway, do you want me to grade papers for you?"

"If you wish," he said dismissively.

"Will you go to sleep if I do?" she pressed.

Deciding to give an indirect 'yes,' he said, "I suppose exhaustion will succeed at some point."

Hermione rolled her eyes, and stood up, pulling the covers down. She pointed underneath the covers, and raised her eyebrows. He stared at her and said, "Well at least let me take a bath, woman."

"Fine. But don't…" she started, then blushed.

He grinned. "Don't what?"

"Don't fall asleep… in the tub…" she said, face flushing even more.

Severus decided to tease her. "Well, why not? The tub is perfectly comfortable for sleeping."

"Seeeev…" she complained, then made a ridiculously pathetic face, so pathetic, in fact, that he gave in.

"Oh, fine. I won't fall asleep."

"Good. Now off with you."

He slipped off the bed, and took off his robes, hanging them up. Hermione stared at his gaunt body, surprised by how muscular he seemed. Quickly, she looked away, and allowed him to pass by her before she walked to his desk.

There was a mess of papers on it, and Hermione wondered how he knew where to find anything on it. While she began organizing—she could tell the papers that had been graded by the large red letters at the top of each—she heard the water turn on.

To keep herself from thinking about Severus taking a bath, she straightened the papers more quickly, then pulled out her wand. "Reddo Manus," she said, and the wand glowed white at the tip. She ran the wand over Severus's scrawl, until she had gotten enough letters and punctuation to make comments. Then she touched the tip of the wand to the tip of the quill, which shook at the pressure, glowed green for an instant, then went back to normal.

"Leviosa," she said finally, and the quill positioned itself over the next piece of paper to be graded.

She worked with great concentration, making sure the comments were clever enough without being too over-the-top—it was more work that she'd originally thought. She breathed a sigh of relief when she was done; she was now positive she'd have been a terrible teacher.

Languorously, Hermione looked through the papers, totaling how many of each grade she'd given. "No Os, two Es, six As, seven Ps, and five Ds. Seems, Snape-y enough," she figured.

At that moment, something rather shocking caught her eye. "Severus, what on Earth is wrong with you?" she exclaimed.

He had entered the room wearing naught but a thick black towel around his waist. "Just checking to see how you were doing," he said slyly.

She stared for a moment, observing his wiry frame, thinking his face must have absorbed anything aging, rather than his body. "I'm doing j-just fine," she answered finally, looking down and blushing profusely. "Now if you'll please put something proper on."

He looked down, as if he had just realized he was only wearing a towel. "Oh, forgive me, I completely forgot to put pajamas on," he said mock-apologetically.

Hermione remained quiet, figuring the silent treatment would do better than sputtering. Finally, he retreated into his bedroom, shutting the door. Hermione sighed, and said, "Aguamenti," pointing the tip of her wand into her mouth. Water spurted into her mouth, and she took a long sip, tapping her wand when she was satiated.

She laid her head on the desk, closing her eyes. Moments later, she felt a hand on her back. "Hermione?" Severus whispered.

"Mm?" she uttered sleepily.

"I'm… proper now," he announced, slightly mocking her earlier statement. She reached her hand back and slapped him in the chest.

"You're mean. And indecent. Go away."

He took his hand off her back quickly and muttered an apology. She heard him walking to the opposite side of the desk, where he took a seat. After a moment, she felt him staring. "What?" she said cuttingly. "Stop staring."

"Will you at least look at me?" he asked, sounding troubled.

Hermione shifted her head so her chin was resting on the desk. "There, happy?"

"Not particularly, at the moment. What's come over you?"

She raised an eyebrow, as if he shouldn't be so stupid to have to ask. "Why not just use Legilimency on me?"

"Because that, truly, would be indecent." He wondered if that would make her mad, but her face showed no difference. When he realized she wasn't going to say anything, he said, "You know, I was just joking."

Hermione sniffed airily. "Marvelous joke, Severus, really. I think you should parade around half naked more often, that way I can get a laugh."

He jerked a little when she said 'Severus' instead of 'Sev.' Thinking about what she said, he replied, "Really, am I that hideous to look at?"

'No,' Hermione thought to herself, 'that's just it.' "Oh, bollocks," she cried. "I promise we can go back to normal conversation if you promise not to do… that… until… until a very long time from now."

Severus raised an eyebrow at her. "For the sake of conversation, I swear I won't do that," he said, then added quickly, "As long as you tell me I'm not hideous."

"Heavens, no," Hermione declared. "That's not it at all."

"Ok, then. On to… real conversation, hmm?" Hermione nodded, and he continued. "Did you finish grading?"

"Yes. I do hope I don't give myself away."

"I'm sure the words were fine. Let me take a look at the handwriting."

She handed him the stack of papers, which she had purposely shuffled so those he had graded were interspersed with hers. He looked through them discerningly, then finally said, "Well done. I shudder to think how many essays you wrote for Mr. Weasley."

She looked down quickly. "Sorry."

"What's done is done. So long as you didn't somehow help him cheat on his O.W.L.s or N.E.W.T.s, all is well."

Hermione shook her head quickly, then half-yawned, not wanting to show Severus she was tired. She couldn't hide it much, though, and he said, "You should sleep."

"So should you," she shot back.

The two stared at each other, neither wanting to admit defeat. Hermione sat back in her chair; Severus did the same. Finally, Hermione broke. "This is ridiculous."

He smirked in triumph. "Don't expect any less when we're together."

"I know. But, I'm going to bed." She stood up and automatically noticed something she hadn't before, and burst out laughing. "What are you wearing?"

His face flushed and he scratched his neck. "I knew this was coming," he muttered.

"Are you wearing flannel pajama bottoms?"

"Yes," he said resolutely.

"That's slightly unexpected."

"They're comfortable!"

Hermione looked terribly amused. "Aw, Sev can recognize comfort!"

"Shut up, woman."

"That's not a very nice way to talk to me! Anyway, wherever did you get them?"

Severus sighed. "If I tell you, will you promise you won't laugh?"

"I won't promise, but I'll try my hardest!" she said honestly.

"Well, truth be told, Minerva gave them to me a few years ago for Christmas."

Hermione grinned. "Aw, Sev wears a gift from his colleague!"

"Yes, I do. Like I said, they're comfortable."

"Well, that's utterly adorable. But I will leave you alone, and go get some pajamas on myself."

She started walking, then couldn't remember where her bags were, and stopped. Severus knew what she'd realized and said, "Your bags are over here."

Hermione looked over, and saw the bags on the opposite side of Severus's chair. "I thought you said using Legilimency was indecent!" she exclaimed suddenly.

"Legilimency is not required when actions make your thoughts quite clear," he said plainly. She thought about this, then shrugged; he was very good at reading people. She walked past him, grazing his legs with her fingers, then leaned over to pick up her bags.

"Be right back," she whispered, and walked to the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. Searching through her clothes, she found a pair of grey sweats and a large maroon shirt. She closed the suitcase, and walked back out. "You coming to bed?"

Severus looked up, raised an eyebrow at her ensemble, and said, "Yes, I suppose."

He stood up, put the graded papers back on the desk, and walked over to meet Hermione at the door. She put her arm around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her shoulder, and they walked wearily to bed.

Hermione crawled in on the left side, and Severus took the right. "Good night, Sev," Hermione whispered.

"Good night, Hermione," he whispered back, giving her a kiss on the head.

--

for anyone that read this before June 18th, the last couple lines got left off somehow. my apologies!!