S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: echi- I always felt that the bond between Roxas and Sora was important, so I wanted to keep that in the plot of my story. Ladyameena22- Yeah, the ten year old thing is gross, but I needed a way to explain how Reno was so young. Glad you're loving it! Reese97-10- Hehe, yeah, it cracked me up to write that line. Happy to hear you're enjoying it. LadyTori- ::takes cookie:: This soon enough? HellCat18- No, Axel's inner voice isn't Sephiroth or Jenova, I agree that more FF characters would just be too much. I've introduced all the characters that I'll be using already, so never fear. AJ can't hackit- Why thank you, I love you too! X3 I try to keep it at a steady pace, but I'm not so sure about the pace of this chapter. Let me know, ok? kairiyumi- Hehe, I'm surprised that I'm getting so many happy reviews about Reno! I'm a die-hard Reno fan, and I just can't look at Axel and Reno without seeing the resemblance. It's scary. XD DestinyEntwinements- ::shares part of cookie with you:: o.o xxRhixx- Axel is Axel, and I never really saw him as being a very normal person.animebuddy- You know, I thought that too at first, but then I thought I'd have them as father and son because no one else ever seems to do that. You can look forward to more romance in this chapter, squee!

Thank you so much to my reviewers, new and old! You guys make me never want to stop writing, I think I'll cry when this story ends. Don't fret though, because I have other stories on paper that I'll be writing when this one is finished! To all my romance-loving readers, this chapter is the beginning of the tidal wave. Enjoy!

Also, I do not own the song that Demyx sings, because it is very hard to steal musical notes and a voice from the air. Instead, it belongs to Andain so no suing.

Chapter seven: The good intentions of deception

The dreamless night passed, and I yawned and opened my eyes to the new day. Stretching, I glanced at Axel who looked peaceful as usual, save the bottle of pills held loosely by his hand. I looked over to Sora, who sat in the corner, apparently thinking about something, before he gave me a nod. I looked again to the pill bottle, sighing inwardly.

Here he was, trying to help me out of a situation when he wouldn't bother helping himself. Instead he swallowed pills to rid him of his problems, never facing them. I wished I could help him, but knew he would never accept it. I felt like I owed it to him to help guide him through the pain. We could get through it together.

I was moving quietly towards him now, a hand outstretched. I knew he would be pissed when he woke up, and I knew that it was suicide, but I didn't care. I wanted to help him.

Ever so carefully, I reached out and took the bottle, stuffing it into my pocket. I then quickly left the room, to go to Demyx's for breakfast, where I was greeted with a smile and a cup of coffee.

"Good morning, sunshine!" he said, handing me the cup. I muttered a 'good morning' somewhere before taking a drink of the hot liquid.

I was a dead man walking, and I knew it.

I sat at the table with Zexion, where I was looked over by him for a moment.

"Sleep well?"

I nodded, and looked to Sora. His mind seemed to wander like no one else. I downed the rest of my coffee, and looked to Zexion.

"I'm going to take a shower. Demyx left some clothes out, right?"

The man nodded, and I walked into the bathroom, closed the door, and removed the stolen item from my pocket. After fiddling with the child-proof cap for about three minutes, I finally opened it, and dumped the contents into the toilet. I sighed, awaiting my death and flushed them, rolled the bottle up with toilet paper, and stuffed it in the small trash can.

It was for his own good, right?

I undressed and got into the shower, feeling as if it would be my last. I don't think I ever appreciated that feeling of the hot water rolling down your back and through your hair as much as I did then. I got out, undressed, and made my way back to the table, just in time to hear the clock ticking until the end of my life.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Yes, it would only be moments until Axel would come in and strangle the life out of me.

I listened to the sound of Axel bustling around his apartment, but today it was much louder, with far more cursing than usual. Zexion and Demyx stared at the wall dividing us from him awkwardly.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?!"

We heard a door slam, and Axel was among us, hair still messy, clothes not changed. He towered over the table for a moment before slamming his hands down on it.

"Have any of you seen my meds!?"

He was too angry to keep from screaming at us. Demyx and Zexion shrugged and shook their heads, and I shook mine as well.

"I had them last night! They're GONE!"

I could feel my hairs stand up on end, and noticed Axel looking at something repeatedly from the corner of his eye.

"DON'T ANY OF YOU KNOW WHERE THE FUCK THEY ARE!?"

We all shook our heads again, and Axel started to rip through the apartment in search of his beloved chemical friends. Demyx looked like he was confused whether to cower in fear, or demand that Axel clean the apartment.

Zexion stood up, and moved to Axel, gently putting a hand on his shoulder. "They wouldn't be here, Axel. I'll help you look in your place."

Axel shot him a look and fire began to form in his hands. "I already looked there!"

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

"Someone must have taken them!"

I was caught, I was so caught.

Zexion shook his head, "Axel, who the hell would take your meds?"

I stared into my cup of coffee, praying that I would not be noticed by this crazed man.

Why did I do that? Why the fuck did I do that?

I heard his footsteps as they moved towards me, but I didn't dare look up. I feared that if I looked into his eyes, I would turn to stone.

I felt his hand on my shoulder, and couldn't stop myself from fidgeting.

"Roxas?" he said my name sickeningly sweet. It was like getting rubbed by that alcohol swab right before the lethal injection.

"Y-yes?" I stuttered. Crap, now he knew for sure.

In one swift motion, my shirt was in the grip of Axel's strong hands, and my body was slammed against the wall. I looked at him in fear, too scared to even feel the pain in my back.

"What the fuck did you do with my meds!?"

I stared at him, barely able to breath.

"I said where the fuck are they!?"

"Axel..." I muttered. Wow, great idea. Just whisper his name, everything will be fine.

He slammed my body against the wall again. "WELL!?"

"I-I-I-I-... Axel... I..."

His glare made me regain my ability to speak.

"I got rid of them!"

I closed my eyes, and waited for him to punch my lights out. Nothing happened for about 30 seconds, until he dropped me and I hit the floor.

"Roxas..." he spoke through gritted teeth, "Why did you get rid of them?"

"I-I... want to help you."

He quickly brought his face to mine.

"Do me a favor, Roxas! Don't help me!" he roared.

I was terrified. In fact, I was probably shaking. Axel was so furious that Demyx and Zexion were too busy running around the apartment putting out fires to even think about stopping him. Worse even, he was furious at me.

Now, when people are frightened, they often do stupid things. Like climbing a tree to get away from a panther, or pretending to be dead around a bear. Maybe even try to shoot a grizzly with a pistol.

Not me though, no. I did something stupid, far more stupid than any of those things. I consider myself lucky to be alive after what I did.

I jumped up and threw my arms around Axel's waist, so close to him I could feel his heart beating.

He stopped, dead silent. He didn't move or speak, but I could feel his eyes staring at me, and could almost hear him thinking 'What the fuck?'

"I'm sorry, Axel. I just want to help you through it." I whispered.

The fires around the apartment went out, but Axel still didn't move. Silence surrounded all of us.

I brought my eyes up to look at him, to stare at the expression of complete shock he wore on his face.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered again.

He looked away from me, obviously clenching his teeth. I felt my fingers tug on the back of his black wife beater, as I stared fearfully up at him.

"Roxas," he finally spoke, though there was still anger in his voice, "It's not that easy."

"If I can do it, you can do it too!" I pleaded with him.

He looked down at me, trying not to show the anger in his eyes. "It's not that easy."

I heard Zexion and Demyx leave the apartment, but I didn't care.

I yanked hard on the back of his shirt now, upset that he wasn't really listening to me. "Axel, you can do it! I know you can! Yes, you've been through a lot, but do you think you're the only person who's ever had a rough time!? You're so strong, so much stronger than I am, and if I can get over this, so can you!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sora. He looked like he was having a conversation with someone, but there wasn't anyone there.

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Axel yelled.

Sora seemed to be nuzzling up to someone, with a soft smile on his face. And- did his hair just get brushed on it's own?

It hit me. Axel's inner voice. Sora was cuddling up to Axel's inner voice.

"What the hell are you looking at!?" Axel demanded.

I closed my eyes, willing myself to see what Axel saw. Praying for the ability to see the reactions of Axel's inner voice. When I opened my eyes again, my prayers were heard.

I saw a boy, taller than myself with silver hair and aqua eyes. He was giving gentle kisses to Sora's forehead before his eyes turned to me, and nodded with a smile.

I was stunned.

"What's his name?" I asked.

Axel didn't look at me or at the other version of himself. "Riku."

"Riku..." I whispered.

It felt a bit awkward, but I turned to Axel again and his eyes met with mine. I knew there was no denying it; I had very strong feelings for this crazy, pyro-kinetic, fire-tempered man. Seeing Riku, made me see that it wasn't just one-sided either.

However, I still wasn't sure about the entire intimacy issue that would eventually come along. It frightened me, but somewhere deep down, I couldn't hide it from him any longer.

I moved my hand down to his, watching as my fingers tangled themselves in his.

"We can do it together, Axel." I raised our hands up and brought them to his chest, "I know we can."

He stared at me for a moment or two, before a smirk and a chuckle passed his lips.

"If I had to go through it with anyone, Roxas, I'd want it to be you."

I smiled, looking up at him. He was smirking at me, as if he didn't believe what was happening. I watched his head move downward, towards me, and closed my eyes. I still wasn't sure how I felt about this, but when his lips brushed against mine- though not yet kissing- I knew it was right.

He slowly let his lips press to mine, and they locked in a tender kiss. I felt his arms wrap around me, and an empty place somewhere in my chest slowly start to fill.

I loved this feeling, and I wanted more. My eyes felt like they were stinging with tears but they were dry, and I pulled him to me in an attempt to be closer to him, though we were already pressed against each other. He continued to kiss me tenderly, letting his tongue dart out and tease my lips on occasion. Any time he went to pull away, I'd gently nip on his lip, and he would grant my request for more.

I could feel my hands move under his shirt and across his chest, exploring his skin for the first time. His hands moved across my back, sending me delightful chills. His lips were so soft, and his hands were so smooth, it was like being enveloped in silk. He brought a hand up to my neck, before sliding it up into my hair and giving it a gentle tug. He finally broke the kiss, and looked down at my smiling face as he granted me a smirk of satisfaction and happiness.

We stared at each other for a moment, and I felt my cheeks turn crimson. Axel laughed, and shook his head before grinning at me.

"You ok?"

I nodded, letting myself look at him for another brief moment, before I couldn't stand it and brought his head down while I stood on my tip toes. Our lips touched in a rough but passionate kiss, and I felt him pick me up and bring me over to the couch. He pushed his hands under my shirt as we kissed, roaming my skin with his gentle fingers. I slid my hands up the muscles of his arms, before bringing them down his back, clutching at his shirt as he ran a finger over my sensitive nipple. I shivered at his touch for the brief moment it was there, before I felt him tugging at my pants.

I broke the kiss and looked up at him. "Axel..."

He let go of them and smiled knowingly. "I'm sorry."

I was sure that I wasn't ready for that, even as strong as my feelings were for him.

I blushed and looked away. "No, I'm sorry, it's just-"

He put a finger to my lips, and smiled down at me. "It's ok. I'll wait until you're ready."

The door opened, and both of our heads turned to see Demyx squealing with joy, and Zexion with crossed arms and a smirk.

"Caught ya." said the latter.

I felt my cheeks burn a violent red, and sat up, trying to fix my hair. "Uhh..."

Axel chuckled and looked to Demyx. "You knew, didn't you? About both of us."

The sandy-blonde nodded, his hands clasped together like a mother who's baby had just said it's first words.

I now understood what Demyx had said to me, and looked to Axel again as the two entered the house, and Demyx started to prepare some food.

"Hey, Axel?"

Axel leaned back on the couch and lit up a cigarette. "Yeah, man?"

"Does this mean we're, uh, boyfriends?"

"Only if you want it to."

I smiled and nodded, and Axel laughed out a puff of smoke. "I'll be back then, babe, I have to take a shower."

I laughed at the pet name, and he grinned at me as he went through the door. Zexion moved to sit next to me, and I could feel the red come back to my face.

"Roxas, I've always wanted to know; is Axel a good kisser?"

I coughed. Stuttered. Coughed again.

"Oh, leave him alone, Zex!" Demyx called from the kitchen, "It was his first time!"

Zexion laughed and put an arm around me. "Welcome to the wonderful world of the gay man. Just in case you didn't notice, though, Axel's a bit more moody than girls are."

I laughed, "Yeah, but I think it will be worth it."

Zexion chuckled in response, and went to go help Demyx with breakfast.

Silently, I mulled over what exactly had happened.

I am male. Axel is male. We kissed. I kissed a man. But, I'm still a man. I don't have to parade around using a high voice and wear bright colors or wear foundation. I have a boyfriend, but I'm still a guy. He's still a guy. We're still just... us.

Yes, I was still just me. Nothing had changed, except that I had a boyfriend. I would still dress the same way, act the same way, everything would still be normal. But I would be kissing a guy.

I came to the happy conclusion that I as a person had not changed. I was me and he was him, and we were together.

After a while, he came back into the apartment and we both sat down at the table where Demyx served us some breakfast. Axel gave me a quick peck on the cheek, and was trying hard to ignore our inner voices snuggling on a chair. It didn't bother me much, because I knew that was the two of us really, cuddling there. We all finished eating and I took everyone's plate to the kitchen. When I came back, Axel had lit a cigarette and was pulling on his boots to go to work.

I frowned, having forgotten that Axel would have to leave. He looked up and me and smiled. "I'll be back at six, got it memorized?"

I nodded, knowing that it would seem like forever until he was home. "I'll be here when you get back."

He finished lacing up his boots and put out his cigarette. "Later guys, bye Roxas."

He gave me a peck on the lips and went through the door. I couldn't help feeling as though I were a housewife in that moment, and I laughed at the thought.

Zexion grabbed his briefcase, and was soon out the door as well, leaving Demyx and myself alone.

Demyx invited me along to go grocery shopping, and to buy a new outfit for his gig that night. He was in a dressing room, trying on a shirt as I sat outside.

"So, is it you or Zexion that pays most of the bills?" I asked.

"Well, Zexion most of the time, but when I get paid for a gig I help out too. He doesn't mind much though, says he wants me to follow my dreams."

I smiled, "That's really nice of him."

"Yeah, he gave up his dream of being an artist so that I could play my music. I begged him not to, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. He still paints on his days off though, which is great because they're beautiful."

"Are the paintings in the apartment by him?"

"Yeah, they're great aren't they?"

I nodded, and he opened the door, wearing a black t-shirt with an eye where the iris was flames.

"What do you think?"

I smiled, "That's really cool. I like it."

Demyx nodded, and looked in the mirror. "Yeah, I think I'll get this one."

He went back into the dressing room.

"So, what's your dream Roxas?"

I looked in the mirror opposite me. My dream? I hadn't thought of that in a while.

"Nah, man, it's stupid."

"C'mon, Roxas? What is it?"

I sighed. "I want to snowboard in the Olympics."

Demyx laughed. "I tried snowboarding once, fell on my ass- and it hurt! You any good?"

"I've been told that I am."

The sandy-blonde peered out of the door and raised an eyebrow. "Then why is it stupid?"

"I don't know, I just don't think it's ever going to happen."

"It can if you try."

I nodded. Maybe Axel and I could go to the mountains together sometime, and I could teach him if he didn't already know.

"You'll never guess what Axel's dream is."

I looked at the man curiously. "What is it?"

"Two things; he wants to race motorcycles, and he wants a family."

I smiled, envisioning Axel on a motorcycle speeding down the road. That was definitely something I could see him enjoying. At least once, though, I would want to be on the seat behind him, arms around his waist.

Demyx finished up his shopping, and we again retreated to his home, where he cooked us up some lunch before he practiced with his sitar. I listened to him play, and gazed at the other me sitting in the chair beside me.

"Why did you know, when I didn't?"

He smiled cutely, "Because, Roxas, we're detached. I'm a part of you, but our connection is weaker because we are two separated parts of the same being."

I stared at him blankly, not understanding. "What do you mean?"

"Because I'm outside of you, all our emotions don't always connect."

I nodded my head, though I only slightly understood what he meant. I guess I understood well enough, because he didn't speak any more of it.

Demyx stroked the cords of his instrument, singing a song softly. It was a somber, but pleasant melody.

I looked again to Sora. "When will we be whole again?"

"Hard to say, but I think that with you and Axel helping each other, it won't take much longer until we're together again." He shot me a wide grin, and I couldn't help but chuckle.

It was strange, but I was starting to see him as more of a friend than a problem.

Together again.

Sora was a part of me, just as much as I was a part of him. Eventually, we would again share the same body and mind, but he would disappear from my reality. Would I miss him? I had no answer to that, but I knew that he would never really be gone, so did it even matter?

I was definitely thinking about this too much.

I spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing and listening to Demyx practice, until a certain red-haired crazy man came through the door.

He looked worn out, and stressed out as he trudged in through the door. He took a seat beside me on the couch and ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He sighed and took a drag of the cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

"It's been so long since I've seen more than just a glimpse of him... I can't stand it."

I felt sorry for him, but smiled in hopes of cheering him up. "Hey, now you know what I'm going through."

He laughed and put his arm around my shoulders. "And man, does it suck."

Demyx stopped plucking the strings on his sitar for a moment. "Do you guys want to come to the club to watch me perform? I know you've already seen it all before, Axel, but Roxas never has."

I smiled and nodded my head. "I'd like that. You play really well, I'd love to see you on stage."

"I'm all go." Axel replied.

Demyx smiled, "Thanks guys. Zexion's working late, so he won't be able to make it." he stood up, and put his instrument in his case, "I have to go get ready and be there early, but I'm going on at 8, and Axel knows where it is. So, I'll see you guys there?"

The two of us nodded, and Demyx went to his room to get dressed.

I turned to my boyfriend, "How was work?"

Damn. I am a housewife.

"Same old same old, only now I have a silver-haired brat to annoy the hell out of me."

I laughed, "Oh c'mon. It couldn't have been that bad."

He smirked and placed a kiss on my lips. "All in all, it was a pretty good day considering."

That one kiss was enough to again ignite my passion for this strange boyfriend of mine, and I put my arms around him, bringing my lips to his.

His soft lips brushed mine gently, sparking me with excitement and nervousness. He sucked on my lower lip for a moment, and I could almost feel my body melting into his. He took his lips from mine, and I wanted to complain, but my thoughts were interrupted when he gave a gentle nip at my neck. I let my body relax, and he started to suckle on the tender skin on my neck. A moan escaped my lips though I tried to keep it in.

We were interrupted when Demyx grabbed his sitar and opened the door. "Hey guys, not on my furniture." he said with a wink, before exiting. Axel and I chuckled, and he stood up. "You wanna grab something to eat before the show?"

I smiled. "Sure."

We ended up in a small diner, which I was told was not far from the club we'd be going to, and I ordered a burger.

"Hey Axel?"

"Yeah?" he asked after swallowing a mouthful of burger.

"Eventually, I'm going to have to start going back to school again."

"Yeah, I know. I'll figure out some way to get ya there."

I shook my head, "You don't have to do that. I'll figure it out, I just wanted to let you know."

"Don't worry about it, I got it covered." he smiled at me, and I understood.

Axel wanted to take care of it, so that he could be sure I wouldn't have to move back into my mother's.

We finished up our food, and Axel covered the check and tip, though I felt bad for never being able to pay for anything. We exited the building, and started walking down the street. I noticed that Axel kept his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, and frowned. Did he not want to hold my hand in public?

"Do you think I should get a job?"

He turned to me. "Why would you do that?"

"So that I'm not always freeloading off you and Demyx."

"Don't worry about it. I got it covered."

I went to speak, but stopped myself. I guess Axel was just one of those people that was meant to be the one who takes care of everyone else financially, the way Demyx was about feeding people.

Oh, that's right. Axel's dream is to have a family, and I assume he'd be the father figure.

It made sense when I thought about it. He had found me and offered me help, took me in, and let me use him as a shoulder to cry on. However, I couldn't just not do anything. I'd find a way to help that he would approve of, I just didn't know what.

We walked up to the club, and Axel ignored the '18+' sign at the door, just walking by it without thinking I guess. We walked past the people waiting in line, up to the bouncer at the door.

He said hello to Axel, and let us in. I supposed that he was a regular here.

I looked around at the florescent lights, and the couples dancing. There were gay men, lesbian women, and straight couples alike. I smiled, and reached into Axel's pocket to take his hand, and heard a small chuckle from him though he didn't turn to me as we made our way through the crowd. We moved to a booth-like table and Axel ordered a drink for himself, and a soda for me. I then heard the familiar sound of Demyx's sitar, and gazed up at the stage.

"Right on time." Axel said, grinning.

I smiled and looked to our friend on the stage, dressed as a punk. He started to sing, and I was entranced by his voice.

"Got up early, found something's missing, my only name,"

He sang beautifully, and the lights on him made him seem so surreal.

"No one else sees, but I got stuck and soon forever came, stop pushing on for just a second, then nothing's changed,"

I liked the lyrics, but I wasn't sure what they meant. Axel bobbed his head along with the music, and I smiled, listening.

"Who am I this time, where's my name? Guess it crept away,

No one's calling for me at the door, and unpredictable won't bother anymore,

and silently gets harder to ignore,"

I couldn't help but tap my foot along with the soft beat of the song. It was so beautiful.

"I forgot that I might see, so many beautiful things,

take this happy ending away, it's all the same,

God won't waste his simplicity on possibility,"

We received our drinks, but I didn't take my eyes off the musician I was proud to call my friend.

"Now what do I do? Can I change my mind? Did I think things through?

It was once my life, it was my life at one time."

After he finished the song, I turned to Axel. "What was that song about?"

He turned to me, expressionless, "His family. He doesn't talk about them much, but when he told his parents he was gay, they kicked him out. Rejected him. He has a sister, that he's not allowed to talk to anymore. They refuse to associate with him, because he's 'not right' in their book. He's talked to me about it before, asking if he should force himself straight to be able to be accepted into his family again."

"That's awful." I whispered sadly.

"Yeah, but I told him not to. You can't change who you are, and even if you could, it's not worth it if your family can't accept you for you."

I nodded. I never knew that being gay could be so hard. I mean, I'm sure I knew it somewhere, but I never really thought about it. I wondered what would happen when I told my mother. Would she reject me?

After Demyx got off stage, we all headed back to the apartment.

"It was awesome, you were great!" I told him, ruffling his hair.

He laughed, but regained a serious look. "Eh, I messed up a note during the third song. I was so embarrassed."

Axel grinned, "Maybe I'm tone deaf, but I didn't even notice."

"Really? Well, that's good." Demyx said with a smile.

We walked into the building, and said our goodnights. Axel let me into his place, and I moved towards the couch.

"Hey, you're not even going to sleep in my bed?" he asked with a laugh.

I looked at him, probably like a frightened child.

"Hey," he continued, "Don't look at me like that. I'm not a rapist, ok?"

I laughed and climbed into his bed as he removed his hoodie as usual. He slipped under the sheets behind me, and left a soft kiss on my neck, before draping an arm around me casually and resting his head on the pillow.

"Good night." he whispered.

"Good night."

Author's notes: And there you have it, the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Remember to review so that Roxas doesn't get too scared of homosexuality and run away! Love you all bunches, I'll hopefully be able to update tomorrow! Look forward to it!