A/N: At last! Sorry it took me so long to update. My computer was down yet again. Have you ever just wanted to throw your computer out the window and watch a car run over it? I'm this close to doing just that. Well, anyway...we're back to the story. After their dance together, things are starting to get complicated between Draco and Alana. Draco is confused about his feelings for her; about whether they're just friendly or infatuational. Alana, on the other hand, doesn't know what to make of him. She knows he different than the person he pretends to be, but still doesn't want to trust him completely. Also, is Alana hiding something? Is there some part about her life she's not letting on to? Will Draco be the one to unlock her secrets? Read and find out.
Chapter 4
Two of a Kind
We all drink to forget
But some of us more than most
When reality gets too real
And the fires of hell too close
But I'm here to let you know
That you can make it through
If you believe someone's watchin' over you
Call it an angel
Call it a muse
Call it what you got
Comin' to you
What's the difference
What's in a name
But what matters most
Is never ever losin' faith
Because it's gonna be alright
You're not alone tonight-
"You're Not Alone Tonight"
Keith Urban
After about a month, the parties were still a huge success. Ever since, Alana had noticed how close Jezebel and Blaise had become. They were practically dating now. As for her and Draco, things were still a little awkward, but they managed to get along just fine. Jezebel kept a knowing eye on her friend. Alana's other friends noticed a change in her, too. She no longer wore her spectacles or put her hair up in a bun all of the time. It was amazing how that one party had loosened her up so much. She talked more easily now and didn't have her nose stuck in a book every spare moment of free time that she had.
Draco noticed the changes too and wondered if it was because of him. He'd just shake that thought right off as soon as it would appear in his head. Sometimes he didn't know what to think. Everything had become so confusing since she had come to the school. Pansy didn't even seem like a good shag anymore. The mere thought of even touching her in that way disgusted him. But for some reason, he still hadn't broken up with her. Pansy seemed to notice him acting differently one day in the Common Room. He was just laying lazily on one of the black, leather couches with his arms under his head as he stared blankly up at the high seiling. Usually, he'd be ordering the First years about, but instead he was just lying there.
She sat down on his lap, but he didn't move. After trailing her fingers down his chest didn't get his attention either, Pansy became irritated. Suddenly, she hit her fist into his right kneecap as hard as she could. Draco instantly felt the pain, sat bolt upright, and yelled, " Sweet Jesus! Pansy, what the fuck was that for?"
A few of the Slytherins that were in there turned their heads towards the two, but after Draco glared at them, they turned their heads away. They all knew better than to mess with Draco when he was angry. Pansy crossed her arms in a huff and pouted at him.
" How come you never come to see me anymore?" She asked, in her pitiful excuse of a sad voice.
" Because you bore me." He said, simply, laying back down and staring up at the seiling again.
" What?" She shrieked.
" You heard me. Now, leave me alone!" He ordered, coldly.
" I don't understand! What have I ever done wrong?" She continued, leaping up and standing near him.
" You were born would be a start." He muttered to himself.
" What was that?" She spat, becoming angry.
" Nothing, now just go fuck someone else if you need to get off so badly!" Draco snapped.
" You don't care, do you? You don't give a damn about anyone, but yourself, Draco Malfoy!" She screamed at him.
" I don't have any reason to." He thought, solemnly. " No one cares about me."
" Well? Answer me, God damnit!" She shouted, throwing her hands up in the air.
Draco got up, took out his wand, and looked at Pansy. She eyed his wand worriedly and shrunk back. Pansy knew perfectly well what he was capable of with a wand. He just looked at her blankly before saying, loud and clear, " Accio cloak!"
His black cloak flew towards him from his Prefect dormitory, which he caught with his lightning-fast reflexes. Quickly, he threw his cloak about his shoulders and fastened the silver, serpant clasp before heading towards the portrait hole.
" And where do you think you're going?" She yelled, seethingly after him.
" Out!" He shouted back without turning to face her.
Draco slammed the door shut behind him and stormed down the corridors. Students parted before him, as if sensing his foul mood a mile away. He walked until he came to the entrance of the school. It was cloudy and gray outside. The March air was humid and had the scent of rain to it. A few groups of students were scattered out on the green campus. Draco continued to walk across the grass; the wind blowing his cloak out behind him. The direction he was going led to the old Dark Forest, which Dumbledore had recently managed to convert into a normal forest. Draco knew that he could go there to think.
He was still a ways away when he say a figure come running out of there. Not taking any chances during these times and all, Draco ducked behind a tree and watched the figure come closer into his view. He let out a sigh of relief when it turned out to be Alana. She was wearing gray sweat pants that came to just a little below her kneecaps with two, white striped down the sides. Her white top was covered on the top by a cropped, dark blue sweatshirt. Alana's thick, brown hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail that swayed in time with the rhythm of her stride. She ran in an old, battered pair of white, tennis shoes. Sweat covered her flushed face. Draco watched as her already-toned legs tightened with each long, graceful stride she took. When she came to the tree, Alana stopped and put her hands on her kneecaps, trying to regulate her breathing.
She pulled the stopper on the small, water bottle in her hands up with her teeth, straightened up, and took several, long swigs. Then, she wiped her mouth of the excess water and took off again without even noticing Draco. He watched as she left before he continued on into the forest. Alana had never struck him as the athletic type before, but after seeing her run like that, he could tell that it was something she did regularly. Her legs looked like they were in very good shape, as well as her arms, which he had seen the night of the first party. Sure, they were slender and thin, but he had seen the small, tight muscles clearly. Draco couldn't help, but think that Alana might have made a great Quidditch player.
He sat down under his favorite tree; a weeping willow. The roots that poked out of the ground were big and narled with age. Draco leaned his head back against the trunk and closed his eyes. The world seemed so peaceful right before it rained. It was one of the only times he ever came outside. He wasn't much of a sunny day person, but didn't like bad storms either. His hands began to rub against the grass around him softly, liking the feel of the blades tickling his palms. Then, his left hand brushed against something different. Draco opened his eyes and saw a notebook-sized, dusty blue, sketch book. His brow furrowed as he picked it up and looked it over. It seemed like just a harmless sketch book, and he couldn't feel a dark aura coming from it, so Draco opened it up to the first page. It had a big, fancy, letter A with a rose entwining upwards around the right leg of it. On the bottom of the page, a message was written in long, graceful strokes.
The private sketches and paintings of Alana Rosaline Kaligaris
The sketch book belonged to Alana! Draco flipped through the book and looked at the different drawings and paintings that it held. He had to admit, they were excellent. These were the best drawings that he'd ever seen drawn by someone his age! Some of the works were of her family and Greek architecture. Others were of the students of Hogwarts. He found a few good drawings of the Golden Trio, too. Alana had depicted one really well. Hermione was scolding Ron, who was yelling back, while Harry just stood in the middle, shaking his head with his eyes closed. A Friendly Quarrel. Draco laughed at it. He'd seen this happen before at odd times. At the bottom in the right-hand corner of each picture was Alana's mark; the letter A with a rose. Then, he stopped at one picture inparticular. It was the time when he and Alana carried Jezebel back to the Slytherin Common Room. They were standing right outside of the portrait; each with one of Jezebel's arms slung over their shoulders.
Alana must have had a photographic memory because their expressions and everything around them were the same as that night. He laughed at the drunkenly comical expression that Jezebel had fixed on her face. She had gotten every detail of his face exactly right, even down to his slightly awkward smile. Down at the bottom was the title: Slytherins Have Their Funny Moments Too. He flipped the page reluctantly and found a solitary watercolor of Alana. The picture was from the waist up. She had her eyes closed and her head bowed. Her arms were wrapped tightly around herself, as if trying to protect herself from the cold. The background was painted a dark purplish-blue. She looked sad and afraid all by herself, not to mention insecure. A wind blew through her hair, making it russle behind her. It Hurts to Be Alone. He was shocked by the pciture and the title. Was this really Alana?
" Is that how she really feels?" Draco wondered. " Alone and hurting?"
If so, then he pitied her. This brought a whole new prospective to his opinion on Alana. Were they so different? God, he felt like that almost everyday of his life! It still amazed him that someone with as many friends as Alana could feel that way. Draco closed the sketch book carefully and set it on his lap. He tapped his index finger on the spine of the book at the top. What was he going to do with it? It was going to rain soon. Should he take it back to her? No, he couldn't do that because he wouldn't have known who it belonged to if he hadn't opened it up. But, it would get ruined if he left it here. So, he did the best thing he could do. Draco stuck it inside the hollow of the tree near one of the roots.
" That should protect it from the rain until she comes back to get it." He thought before getting up.
As he was leaving the forest, the rain started to come down from the sky. He put up his hood and sprinted towards the entrance to the school, along with the other students that were still outside. That night, Draco lay awake in his bed thinking about Alana. For some odd reason, he couldn't stop thinking about her that night. Was she really lonely with all of those friends around her? It just didn't make any sense. But, maybe she didn't trust them or something like that. He couldn't be for sure. And how was he ever going to look at her in the same indifferent way that he used to? Now, Draco was skeptical about everything he knew about her; everything she did. There seemed to be mystery to this seemingly ordinary girl. Another week past and then, on March 13th (a Friday night), Jezebel had a birthday sleepover in her Prefect dormroom. Pansy's Prefect badge had been taken away when she was caught torturing a group of First year Hufflepuffs by Professor McGonagall and had been given to Jezebel instead since she was the only other Slytherin girl who could be trusted to use it well.
There were about seven girls in all at the sleepover. The girls quickly gave Jezebel her gifts, which she opened hurriedly. When it came to be Alana's turn, she realized that she had left it accidentally in the Common Room. She got to her feet to go get it. It was well after midnight, so no one would be down there.
" I'll be right back." She called from the door.
The Common Room was extremely dark when the fire was lit. Alana rushed down the stairs and felt around for the leather chair that she had set her sketch book on. She had made a drawing for Jezebel. A smile came over her face as she felt her hand brush against the familiar, rough texture of the sketch book's cover. As she was heading back towards the stairs, Alana wasn't watching where she was going and bumped into someone in the darkness.
" Jesus Christ!" A male voice yelled, in surprise.
" Oh, I'm terribly sorry! Lumos." Alana said, lighting her wand.
That's when she saw that it was Draco she had bumped into. They stared into each others eyes for what seemed like forever. Alana's cheeks flushed red as he looked at her in surprise. Then, his shocked expression turned into a smirk as he looked down at her.
" I see that you're here for the party." He said, gesturing his head in the direction of Jezebel's room where an obscene amount of laughter was coming from.
" Yeah, I just forgot Jez's present down here, so I came to get it." Alana explained, her blush going away. " Thankfully, no one took it. I don't know what I'd do without my sketch book."
Draco's eyes took in her pajamas. She wore a long, white, night shirt with the words I had a nightmare. I was a blonde! printed on the front of it in dark blue. He could see a little bit of the light blue, boxer shorts that she had on underneith it. There was a big stripe of white and a smaller stripe of dark blue inside the white stripe down both sides. Alana looked like a blue girl to him. The color brought out her beautiful eyes. Her hair was down and looked a little messy, but just made her look that much more adorable. Not many girls could pull off the look, but Alana did perfectly.
" I take offence to that shirt." He said, giving her a fake hurt look.
" It means a blonde girl, you stupid git." She explained with a laugh.
" Oooh." He exaggerated with a smile, trying to keep back his own laughter.
Alana shook her head at him and rolled her eyes playfully. He crossed his arms and leaned on the back of one of the couches. She couldn't help, but think how sexy he looked at that moment. Draco was only wearing a pair of black, satin boxers, which contrasted greatly with his porcelean complection. His platinum hair was kind of untidy as well. Alana admired his lean, well-toned body. It was probably all due to Quidditch practice. Draco had the right sized muscles; not too big and not too small. There was a small bruise on his left arm, where a bludger had grazed him in the last game against Gryffindor.
" So, what are you doing up so late, Oh Mighty Prince of Slytherin?" Alana asked with a smirk, leaning on one leg and putting a hand on her hip.
" I don't sleep much, and tonight wasn't a good night at all, so I came down here to think for awhile. I can hear some of the other guys snoring from across the hall up there." He answered, wanting to gulp at how her boxers had risen higher up her upper leg towards her thigh.
" I see. I don't sleep much either, so I know how you feel." Alana replied. " Have you tried insomnia pills?"
" No, why?" He answered, raising an eyebrow. " Do they help?"
" I tried them, but they made me feel funny and sometimes I'd get a little loopy. I got off of them right away. But, you can try them if you want. I just advise that you don't." She explained.
Then, Alana glanced down at the sketch book in her hands and blushed. When she looked back up at Draco, she smiled timidly; her eyes looking everywhere else, but at his own grey orbs.
" Um...thank you for making sure that my sketch book didn't get rained on. I really appreciate it." She said, quietly. " I keep forgetting to put a waterproofing spell on it when I take it outside."
" How did you know that it was me?" Draco asked in surprise.
" I saw you go into the forest during my run. I was taking a shower when I realized that I had left my sketch book in the forest. After it quit raining that day, I rushed back there to see if it was ruined. That's when I found it in the hollow of the tree. I figured you found it and moved it in there." Alana explained. " How come you didn't just bring it to me, though? I wouldn't have been angry."
" I thought that it was an invasion of privacy." Draco answered, looking at her seriously.
" You still looked, though, didn't you?" She asked, looking down at the ground.
Draco paled a little, figuring that he had upset her. He ran a hand nervously through his already mussed hair, but never took his eyes off of her.
" I'm sorry. It was wrong, and I shouldn't have done it. Can you forgive me?" He asked, giving her a weak smile.
She looked up into his eyes with shock, seeing sincerity fill their stormy depths once more. She was sure that Draco wasn't the kind of person that said "sorry" very often. But, then she shook her shock away and smiled understandingly up at him. He looked relieved as she smiled at him. Her smiles were warm and gentle, just like the rest of her. Then, Draco watched as she went through her sketch book, tore out a page, rolled it up neatly, and held it out to him.
" Here," She said, " you can have this one."
Draco took it gently and began to open it when Alana placed a hand over his. A shock of warmth rushed through his whole body, but he pretended not to notice. Instead, he just looked up into her eyes with confusion.
" Open it when you get back up to your room." She said, quietly, with stains of pink on her cheeks before turning to leave.
Draco watched as she neared the steps leading back up to the girls' dormitories and that's when he decided that he had to know. The question was just burning away at him, and he couldn't take it any longer.
" Do you really feel that way?" He called, quietly, after her.
Alana stopped, suddenly, with a foot on the first step and a hand on the railing. Hesitantly, she turned around face him with a look of confusion and uncertainty on her face. Ever so slowly, she walked closer to him.
" Wha...what do you mean, Malfoy?" She asked, tentatively.
" Do you feel so lonely that it hurts? Like no one understands you, and you're all alone in the world? Does your life seem meaningless and empty, Alana?" Draco poured out to her.
He saw her face pale to almost a ghostly white. It looked so different than her usual tan complection. But, Draco was more interested in the look deep inside of her sapphire orbs. For the first time, Draco saw Alana look lost and afraid. She wasn't usually a fearful person. Yes, she was shy, but not a scaredy cat like Neville Longbottom. Sadness creased her forehead as she closed her eyes and hung her head. Draco watched as she took the pose of the girl in the painting. He could almost feel the loneliness seeping from her petite and fragile body.
His pity for her had never been greater. Draco felt like he wanted to take her into his arms and hold her, shield her from all of the loneliness that she suffered from. He wanted to whisper comforting words in her ear and tell her that everything was going to be okay, while stroking her hair. That was the first time in his entire life that he had ever wanted to do that for anybody. But, he just stood there and watched her with sympathetic eyes. Finally, Alana opened hers and looked back at him.
" I know that it doesn't seem possible for someone like me to feel alone, especially when I have friends and a wonderful family, who all care about me deeply. Jezebel told me a little about your life, Malfoy, and you have more reason than I do to feel this way, but I'm not a strong person like you are. I feel alone and misunderstood because no one sees me for more than my intelligence and beauty. They never see Alana the artist or Alana the Quidditch player. All anyone ever sees is Alana the scholar or Alana the beauty queen. Why do you think I used to hide my good looks and dress the way that I did? So no one here would see it. The only thing I couldn't help was my academic abilities. My own family doesn't even understand me; not even my older sister.
" I put on a mask, much like yours, Malfoy, that covers up how I truly feel. I pretend to be shy, yet care-free and happy. But on the inside, I'm screaming...screaming for help. No one has ever been able to see through my mask, except one person, and that's you. So, the girl that you saw in the painting, that's the part of me that needs so desperately to be understood. No one ever sees how special she is. If she could be saved, then the true me would shine through, like sun through the darkness of night at sunrise. I was afraid that I'd go through life and no one would ever understand me, but then, you came unexpectedly into my life. I have a feeling that you understand just the way I feel. Am I right, Malfoy?" Alana explained, solemnly.
Draco stood there in awe. God, this was getting freaky! How more alike could they be? She hid from the world, just like he did; behind a mask. They were two of a kind, surrounded by people that would never understand them. That's when Draco strode up to Alana and embraced her warmly. She stiffened with shock. A tiny gasp escaped from her mouth. At first, she was too shocked to do anything. It felt like she was frozen in place. But when he leaned his head on hers, Alana closed her eyes and hugged him back. She shook slightly in his arms, feeling like she was going to sob, but when she tried, nothing happened. Draco bent his head down to her ear and whispered, " I know exactly how you feel, Alana. I never thought that I'd find someone who was stuck in the same situation as me, but here you are. I just can't believe that person is you. You of all people seemed like the last person that would have this problem. All that you've told me seems so unreal. It's just...just so shocking. I'm here for you, though. If you ever need to talk, I'm here."
" Thank you, Malfoy." Alana murmured, softly.
It felt so good for him to hold her again. She felt safe in his arms, like nothing could harm her. All of her sorrows were being blocked out while he embraced her. A single tear came out of each of their eyes; her right and his left. When they finally parted, the two still held each other by the shoulders. Draco reached up and wiped Alana's tear away, while she wiped away his. The moment was just so beautiful, but at the same time incredulous. It seemed like a dream that they had found each other. Suddenly, they both heard a giggle come from the staircase leading to the girls' dormitory, followed by a "ssh!". Draco and Alana looked at the stairs and saw Jezebel along with the other five girls standing there, leaning on the railing. When they noticed that they had all been caught spying, they rushed back up the stairs like a herd of wild elephants, giggling and sshing like crazy. Alana heard Draco mutter something along the lines of " If I ever get my hands on those girls...", while she blushed scarlet in the cheeks. Draco looked down at her and smiled again.
" You can never get a moment's peace at this school." He sighed, while shaking his head with a laugh.
" I've come to notice that." Alana answered. " Well, I better go up there and make up a story about why I was hugging you."
" Okay, but if you need a few memories altered, then I'm just up the stairs over there and to the left." Draco joked, pointing to the stairs nearest the entrance across the room.
" I think I'll manage." Alana replied with a giggle.
She gave him one, last hug before going back towards the stairs. Draco was about to turn around too when he called, " Alana."
Alana spun around again and gave out a fake, exasperated sigh and replied, " Yes, what is it now, Malfoy?"
" It's Draco, alright?" He answered with a smirk.
" Okay." Alana replied, offering him a warm, understanding smile. " Good night, Draco."
" Good night, Alana." Draco replied, before turning and heading towards the boys' dormitories.
Alana walked up the stairs and went back into Jezebel's room, where the girls were waiting for an explanation. Draco opened the door to his room and walked into the darkness after shutting it behind him. That's when he remembered the drawing in his hand that Alana had given him. He lit up his wand, set it on his dresser, and unfolded the drawing carefully. As always, the sketch astonished him. It was of him when Slytherin had been playing against Gryffindor in Quidditch last Saturday. The sketch depicted how he had just caught the golden snitch. Oh, how Draco remembered the astonished expression on Harry's face when he had beaten him to it. Again, Alana had gotten his facial feature just right; from his triumphant, smirking smile to his expressive eyes that were glittering with pride. He held the snitch up high in the air with his right hand as he still sat on his broom stick. The wind was blowing lightly through his hair and making his Quidditch robes russle out behind him.
The stands behind him were filled with cheering Slytherins. At the bottom was the title. Draco smirked at Alana's sense of humor. Draco Malfoy in All His Glory . Then, down in the right hand corner, as always, was her mark. He took his wand and conjured up a dark, mahogany frame for the drawing and put it inside gently. Then, without a sound, he hung it over the dresser with a few, simple incantations. Satisfied with it, Draco walked over to his bed, slipped under the covers, and put his wand on the night stand. As he slipped the green, satin sheets and black, goose down comforter over his body, Draco muttered under his breath, " Nox."
His wand went out, and Draco fell into the first peaceful sleep that he'd had in the longest time.
A/N: Wow, wasn't that such a shocker? You didn't see that one coming, did you? That was sarcasm for some of you that didn't know. Well, I must go for now, but I'll leave you to mull over this thought. Will friendship be enough for Draco and Alana as their relationship progresses or they take the next step? Find out in the next chapter. P.S: I had to fix some things. Sorry if I put another name instead of Alana. I'm writing two stories at once and I get them mixed up.