S!CK

By Candied

Author's notes: I'd like to take a moment and thank all of the reviewers that have been with me since the beginning, as well as the new additions! Thank you so much for inspiring me to write more! I appreciate it so much! I love all of you::Group huggles:: I'm sad that this story will eventually have to end, but 'so long as it remains in our hearts, it will never die'. Read on, friends!

Chapter 12: Have we no voice?

Beep! Beep! Beep!

My happy alarm clock chirped at me, and I grabbed my gun off the nightstand, clicking off bullets into the innocent plastic machine.

I cound no blonde-haired boy in my bed this morning, and stood, still letting off rounds.

"Fucking alarm clock!" I yelled at it, glad that my boyfriend had apparently gotten up earlier and gone to Demyx's.

"Fuck you!" I continued to scream at the damaged platic as I pumped it with bullets.

"Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!"

Click. Click.

I was out of rounds.

Unfourtunately, I was still filled with bitter rage.

I threw my gun to the side, and proceeded in the kicking of my bed-side table.

No, I had not forgotten about the previous night's events.

When I was finally done stomping on the broken pieces of wood that now lay across the floor, I grabbed some clothes and hopped in the shower.

-------------------------

I had woken up before Axel, and walked over to Demyx's where we discussed Axel's mood the night before.

That is to say, before we heard him wake up.

The screaming of obscenities and sound of a clip being emptied were pleanty of reasons for Demyx, Zexion, and I to stare in fear at the wall seperating the three of us and my crazed boyfriend.

The sounds of smashing, however, made Demyx cower in fear behind Zexion, and myself do the same behind Demyx.

When the noise finally ended, Demyx and I cautiously returned to our seats at the table.

Zexion took a sip of his coffee.

"It seems that something has the resident pyromaniac extremely upset," he stated calmly, not looking up from his newspaper.

How the hell could he be so calm? It sounded like Axel had destroyed the entirety of the apartment!

"Ya think?" Demyx squeeked.

I silently wondered exactly what had kept Axel in my house the previous night when we went to leave.

"I wonder if his apartment exploded," Demyx voiced aloud.

Then, the apartment door swung open, and we were graced by my ill-tempered boyfriend's presence.

"Er... good morning..." I managed to choke through my fear.

Axel said nothing, opting to grab a cup of coffee instead.

"You okay?" Demyx dared to ask.

"I'm fine," Axel snarled in reply.

I think Demyx wet himself. His expression all but confessed it.

I was doubly thankful that I had woken up when I had.

"Have a bad dream?" Zexion asked, his eyes resting on the red-haired man.

"You could say that." Said pyro grunted.

Honestly, I think my body was shaking.

"Axel, are you taking me to school today?" I asked.

Again, no reply. He tossed me my helmet as his answer, and started lacing his boots.

Strange, I thought, Axel wouldn't speak to me. Had I done something wrong?

I donned my helmet, and said my goodbyes to Demyx and Zexion. Then, Axel and I headed out to get on his motorcycle, me with my backpack slung over my shoulders.

He hopped on, and I got on behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He seemed to shudder at my touch, and a frown pulled at my lower lip.

Axel started the bike, and we pulled into the morning jumble of cars. As we weaved in and out of traffic, I couldn't be excited about seeing my friends, or even internally praise Axel's motorcycle skills. Instead, my mind was on something of a larger magnitude. I couldn't help but wonder why Axel was acting so strange all of a sudden. I shruged it off, however, as we pulled up to the school.

I removed my life-saving headgear, and saw Olette running up to me.

"Roxas!" she called, hurredly running over to where Axel and I were parked infront of the school.

"Olette, come meet Axel!"

She got to us, and my boyfriend- obviously reluctantly -removed his helmet.

"My name's Olette, I'm a friend of Roxas'," she said, offering her hand for him to shake it.

He accepted the handshake. "Axel." he stated plainly.

"This is my boyfriend," I said, swearing Axel's eye twitched at the last word.

He let go of her hand, and averted his eyes to the ground.

"It's really nice to meet you, but I have to go to work," Axel explained.

"Ok, I'll see you at six, right Axel?"

He nodded, and put on his black plastic head-sheild, before pulling away from the school and onto the road.

"Weid," Ollette commented, raising an eyebrow, "You didn't describe him as anti-social and quiet."

"He isn't, but he's been acting strange lately." I admitted as the two of us walked into the school.

"Any theories?" she asked.

"None. I'm clueless."

We had first period together with Pence. I was happy to see my friends, even if one was missing, and there was another that only I could see.

It was almost, if I may say it, blissfully normal. I quickly rejoined my circle of friends, and was again plotting against my enemies, namely Axel's younger brother- Seifer.

Yes, things were almost the way they had always been. That is, until I excused myself from fifth period for a bathroom break.

As I stood over the sink washing my hands, I saw Sora's face in the mirror, leaning against the wall behind me.

He was frowning, hugging his arms, and his eyes were that of one condemned.

"What's up?" I asked him, thankful that it was just the two of us.

"Something's wrong with Axel," Sora replied in a near whisper. His voice sounded weak, as if he would shatter to pieces at any moment.

"Well, I guessed that mu-"

"No," he said, his saddened voice interrupting me, "Riku wouldn't stop crying."

"What?" I asked now, turning to face him while wiping my hands with a paper towel.

"He won't say anything. He wouldn't even look at me."

Come to think of it, Axel had been avoiding eye contact with me too.

"I'm sure he'll talk about it when he's ready," I reassured him, walking back to my class.

But it bothered me the rest of the day,wondering what Axel could be so worried about.

I met Demyx outside at the end of the day, and I waved to my friends.

"How was school?" He asked me, a bright smile on his face.

I told him of my conversation with Sora on our way to the station.

"Well," he concluded, "it's obvious that something hsa really got Axel upset, but the question is; what?"

I shrugged my shoulders and boarded the subway. "I don't have a clue."

"We'll find out eventually." Demyx said, and we continued on our trip home.

--------------------------

My day was a long, grueling one. Between Riku's mourning and the thoughts of Roxas flickering through my mind, I was so distracted from my work that I had smashed my thumb a total of seven times, and nailed my hand to a piece of wood once.

I think it goes without saying that I was having a very shitty day.

I looked tenderly at my bandaged hand, and lifted my hard hat up to wipe the sweat off my brow.

"Axel!" I heard my foreman call, "You're off! Get outta here!"

I happily descended to the ground, wondering how I would manage to drive home with my hand all bandaged.

It turned out not to be so hard, and at exactly 6pm, I was walking up the stairs of my apartment complex.

I wandered into my apartment, hoping that Roxas would be at Demyx's, allowing me to avoid him for a little while longer.

But, alas, I had the shittiest luck in the universe.

When I closed the door behind me, I was greeted by a somewhat sad-sounding "Hey."

I swiveled my head to look at him, only to find that his blue eyes staring at me were like a blinding light, sending pain into every inch of me.

Naturally, I turned away.

"Hey," I muttered back, dropping my helmet beside the blonde on my couch.

"Axel... what's wrong?" he asked. I could feel his eyes searching me with concern.

Crap. I guess this was that whole 'now or never' deal, wasn't it?

"I..." Come on, Axel, you can do this.

"I think you should go home."

There. That only ripped out your insides and squashed all hope. Not so bad.

"What?" Blue eyes stared, burning into my flesh with confusion.

"I said you should go home."

I saw a silver-haired boy plunge his face into his hands.

"Axel... I am home. This-" he motioned about the apartment, "is my home. Here, with you."

I felt a ball of fire in my palm, and quickly clenched my hand shut.

"Home is with your mother!" I shouted, masking my pain with anger.

Very tactful, Axel. Props.

"Axel-"

"Pack some clothes into your backpack." I interrupted, "I'll stop by tomorrow with your stuff." My voice was calmer, but when I looked at Roxas' eyes, my heart broke.

"Y-you... want me to leave?"

I felt pain in my chest, and could no longer bear the side of the blonde object of my affections.

"Yes." I managed, though my throat felt like it was closing up.

"Why?"

Why do you always have to ask questions!?

"We can't be together." I answered.

"But, Axel-!"

"We're just not meant to be!" I yelled, turning to him with anger.

The tears that threatened to pour from his eyes were killing me. I knew that should a single tear slide its way down his cheek, I would die.

Thankfully, they didn't fall. I could tell that Roxas was trying his best to be strong.

"Are you going to take me to my mother's now?" he asked, voice cracking.

"Yes." I answered, again grabbing my helmet.

Roxas stuffed some clothes into his bag, and grabbed his helmet. I felt myself being slowly ripped in two as we walked out to my bike, Roxas with his head lowered, walking behind me.

We put on our prtective gear, and got on the motorcycle.

I cringed when he placed his hands on my shoulders instead of wrapping them around my waist.

Funny, it had only started a short while ago, though it seemed like we had been together forever. Now, however, it was all over. All my hopes and dreams were crushed, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I drove slowly in the direction of the Hikari household, dreading the goodbye I would have to say to the only person I every truely loved.

When we arrived, the two of us removed our helmets, and Roxas got off.

He turned to me and held out his helmet, "Here."

"Keep it," I choked out. I brought my eyes up to his, drowning in the blue sorrow they held.

"Axel?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not going to let you leave unless you say you don't love me."

I stared at the ground. How could he ask such a thing of me? Didn't he realize that everything I did was for him?

Without lifting my gaze from the pavement, I whispered my reply.

"I don't love you."

Somewhere, deep inside of me, something dies.

I quickly adorned my helmet, to hide the tears that started falling down my cheeks. I then sped off, determined to drown myself in a bottle somwhere.

--------------------------

He left me, standing there on the sidewalk, dying inside.

Before I understood what was happening, I had lowered myself to the ground, head in hands, choking out sobs.

My world crashed down around me, and I was left with nothing.

I don't know how long I was there, but I eventually made my way into the apartment, quickly greeted by a cheerful mother.

"Roxas? What are you doing home?" she asked, too much happiness in her voice for my liking.

"Don't talk to me," I hissed in reply, my eyes still puffy, throat still dry.

I made my way into my bedroom, feeling like a stranger to the place as I tossed my helmet and backpack aside, throwing myself on the bed to begin in a fit of sobbing.

A knock on my door.

"Did Axel break up with you, honey?"

I replied with violent cries.

I suppose she left after that, and I'm quite sure that I cried myself to sleep.

------------------------

I stumbled into my apartment late that night, cursing at the stairs that refused to stop moving.

I heart the soft stroking of the strings on a sitar, and was suprised to find Demyx waiting at the top of the steps for me.

When I made it to him, one hand gripping the railing for stablility, the other clinging to a bottle of liquor, he scoffed.

"You've been drinking."

"Stuffit." I replied with slurred speach, giving him the-one fingered salute.

I moved to walk past him, but crashed into the wall instead. Honestly, it was a wonder I made it home alive.

"He's gone, isn't he?" he asked, his voice concerned and sad.

I nodded in responce, and let myself slide to the floor, taking a swig of my liquor.

"Axel, why didn't you just talk to him?"

I shook my head, and I'm pretty sure I spilled my alcohol. "Can't."

He sighed, and stole my liquor from me, despite my yelling of half-witted obscenties.

"You make me sick, Axel," the sandy-blonde scolded me, "You smell like a bar and a french prostitute. Wait-" he moved down the neckline of my hoodie, "Is that a hicky?!"

I chuckled in my drunken stupr. If there's one thing you should know about me, it's this: me + booze manwhore. Sad, I know, but true.

I was thankful that he didn't mention the lipstick on my collar.

Oh, don't look at me like that! I didn't sleep with her!

Now, I know what you're thinking; How dare I crawl into a bottle to drown my sorrows, when all of this was my fault in the first place?

Well, fuck you my friend. I was miserable, my fault or not. If you couldn't tell, I was less than joyfull about the loss of the love of my life, no matter who was to blame.

So y'know what? Love me, hate me, throw me off a building, or impale me on a spike- I don't care -but don't you dare judge me.

Sooner, as opposed to later, Demyx draggedme into my room, tossing me onto my bed. "I won't let you give yourself alcohol poisoning over this," Demyx stated angrily, removing any and all alcoholic beverages from my home.

"You should be ashamed," he scolded, leaving me, and taking my liquor with him.

I rolled over on my bed, only to find myself face to face with my aqua-eyed other.

His features looked worn out from fits of crying.

"Why, Axel?"

"Fuck off."

"But-"

"Fuck off."

I may have been drunk, but I had enough sense to know that talking about it was surely not going to help.

Eventually, I let myself drift to sleep, certain that life as I knew it was over.

Author's notes: I know, I know, you hate me. I promise it's not forever, though, so please don't decapitate me! ;-; Please review, and I'll have the next chapter up asap!