A/N: Hello again. I know the last chapter was heart wrenching. I'm sorry to say the next three chapters are going to be like that. Also, I'm disappointed that I only got one review after up-dating so much. I expect more this time. Well, read on...
Chapter 11
Severing Ties
Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on
The sound turned down
And a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I
On the walls around me
The way that it was and coulda been
Surrounds me
I'll never get over you walking away
I've never been the kind
To ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong
Meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough
To let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry-
"Tonight I Wanna Cry"
Keith Urban
When Draco walked into the Great Hall the next morning, it seemed like every single person in there was glaring at him. Just as always, gossip had spread like wildfire through-out the school, and now the entire student body knew about what had happened the night before. He walked towards his table, hearing people curse him and whisper to their friends in disgust. Even the Slytherins looked down upon him as he took a seat away from everyone else in an attempt to shut everything out. Draco didn't even have the strength to defend himself or tell his side of the story. His heart was way too heavy for anything like that yet. Reliving the whole ordeal made him want to break down and cry again. That's all he had did last night, cry until he couldn't cry anymore. He was haggard-looking from lack of sleep with dark circles under his eyes. Draco propped his head up with his hand. It was all he could do to keep himself from falling alseep on the spot. Then, his hopes lifted a little when he saw Jezebel coming towards him.
" If anyone will understand, it'll be her." He thought, hopefully.
But when she sat down, Draco saw just how wrong he was. Jezebel glared daggers at him furiously. Her dark brown eyes were colder than they had ever been before. Anger didn't even cover the expression on Jezebel's face. He'd never seen her look more pissed in all of his life.
" You bastard! And to think I trusted you! I trusted you with the most precious person in the world, and you had to go and hurt her! How can you live with yourself?!" Jezebel yelled, darkly.
" It's not what it appears to be! Just listen to me, Jezebel!" Draco pleaded, desperately.
He needed someone to talk to; someone who'd listen to him. Jezebel or Blaise had been his only options in the first place, and by the looks of it, Blaise was nowhere to be seen. Draco wanted so badly for Jezebel to calm down and just listen to him.
" Listen to your load of lies? Ha, I'd rather slit my own throat! I just hope you're proud of yourself! Alana won't even let anyone into her room! Of all people, Draco, I thought you would understand her!" Jezebel seethed.
" Wait! You knew?" He asked in amazement.
" Oh, now you're calling me stupid? Of course I knew! It was etched across her face every single day since she first came here! Then, you came along and made her happier than she'd ever been in her life! Alana gave you her everything, and all you gave her was disappointment and shattered dreams! This just proves it! I'm so ashamed of you, Draco Malfoy! I used to have confidence in you that you'd grow up to be different than that tyrant of a father you have, but I'm very disappointed to say that it was all a terrible waste! You are exactly like him!" She snarled, before getting up and storming off.
Draco sat there completely stunned. There went one of the only friends he had. Only one thought kept going through his mind.
" Why me? Why did this have to happen to me? Why can't anything ever go right for once in my life?"
He got up, deciding that he'd never eat anyway, and dragged himself to his next class. All that day, he couldn't concentrate on his lessons. It was just too much for him to handle. By the time he got back to his room, Draco just collapsed on his bed and fell asleep right then and there. The next day, Alana wasn't in classes again. She laid in bed all day, just like the day before. Her body was too numb to move, and her heart gave her excruciating pain. Alana finally allowed Jezebel to come in during the afternoon. Jezebel peaked into the darkened room around her door and smiled.
" Hey, girl." She said, softly. " Thanks for taking the charm off of the door."
" I just didn't want any visitors for awhile, that's all." Alana replied, hoarsely, with her back turned to her as she lay huddled underneath the covers.
" I brought you some food from the Great Hall." Jezebel explained, holding up a brown, paper bag and shaking it for her to hear as she entered the room and shut the door.
" Thanks, Jez, but I'm not hungry." She answered with a sigh.
Jezebel came over and sat on the edge of her bed. She sat the bag on the night stand before looking down at her. Pity and sorrow filled her eyes. It hurt Jezebel to see Alana suffer like this. She was so fragile before all of this happened, and now, it had crushed what was left of her once bright spirit. Jezebel gathered Alana in her arms along with the blankets and held her close. It didn't take much encouragement for Alana to snuggle up next to her warmth and started to cry softly again. As she stroked her matted and bed-ridden hair, Jezebel rested her cheek against Alana's head and whispered, " Sssh, it's okay. I'm here now. Alana, please, don't cry."
" Jezebel, it hurts so badly! My heart...it feels like someone's ripped out my heart and left a big, gaping hole in its wake! Why me, Jez? Why did this have to happen to me? What did I do to deserve this?" Alana cried, quietly.
" You did nothing, Alana. Nobody deserves this kind of misery, especially you. It will be okay. I promise that you'll get through this. I'll be here to help you always." Jezebel cooed, comfortingly.
" It will never heal! I know it won't! The wound is as deep as a never ending trench!" Alana whimpered. " My heart is broken forever!"
" Sssh, calm down, Alana." She murmured, hugging her closer. " If you don't, you'll make yourself ill."
Before long, Alana had cried herself to sleep again. Jezebel managed to tuck her back in without disturbing her. As she stood over her, Jezebel looked down at her, and a lone tear trailed down her cheek. She shook her head slowly and closed her eyes.
" Of all people, it had to be her. Why is life always so unfair to good people? Out of everyone on this earth, Alana had to be one of those who were cursed with a broken heart." She thought, sadly, to herself.
Carefully, Jezebel placed the lunch she'd brought for Alana in the mini refrigerator by her TV cabinet before sneaking quietly out of her room. It wasn't until a Saturday night at one of the parties that Draco finally saw Alana again. He had never seen her look so tired and stressed. Her friends must have helped her get ready because she didn't even look like she was strong enough to be up and around yet. She wore the outfit that she'd had on in the painting that still sat on his night stand next to his bed. Her hair was up in a dew-drop; probably to hide the fact that it hadn't been washed in awhile. Even her make-up couldn't hide the dark circles under her eyes and her paled complexion. She seemed thinner than before, and Draco wondered if she was getting enough to eat.
He watched as she sat in a corner with her friends all around her in big, comfy chairs. She was silent and hardly spoke more than five words. Alana reclined back in the chair and would have fallen asleep if it weren't for the loud music and the constant chatter of her friends. Draco wanted so badly to go over and talk to her, but he knew that her friends would hex him into oblivion if he even so much as took a step towards her. He didn't pretend not to notice the dark looks they would occationally send him. Their hatred for him was almost deeper than Alana's it seemed.
Tonight was supposed to be special because they were having karaoke. Girls and guys kept getting up on the stage that had been set up in the middle of the room to sing. But, to two people in the room nothing could make that night special or even remotely enjoyable. Draco stood in the back of the room, sipping a drink and watching couples dance to a slow song. They were having a break from the singing at the moment. His heart yearned to be out there with Alana. He went back to their first dance and all of the times that he'd danced with her at these parties. Draco could still remember how she felt in his arms when he held her close, even though it was slowly fading away. He remembered the silky feel of her hair as it brushed up against his cheek, the warmness of her hands as she held onto him gently, the soft touch of her lips upon his. Then, he was snapped unwantedly out of his thoughts as Jezebel got up on stage and pointed her wand at her throat.
" Okay, now who's next to endure the torture of singing for our personal amusement?" She called with a smirk.
A good deal of commotion started up as people poked and teased their friends to get up there. Then, Draco heard a little bit of screaming and shouting coming from one of the corners. That's when Alana was dragged up on stage by the rest of her friends! They pushed her up the steps and towards Jezebel, no matter how reluctant she was. She looked very nervous, and Draco could tell that she really didn't want to do it. Jezebel smiled and conjured up a microphone for her. She gave it to Alana before hugging her warmly.
" You'll do just fine." She whispered in Alana's ear softly. " This will help you recover a little better."
As she hopped off of the stage, Alana whispered to the boy in charge of the music. Then, as he was putting on the song she'd requested, Alana stared out into the crowd. She surveyed them cautiously, going back to her old nature. Draco had been able to prevent that part of her personality from showing itself, but now because of what happened, her mask had returned stronger than ever. It saddened his heart to see her once bright personality being pushed behind that horrible mask. When the music started up, Alana brought the mic closer to herself. Right before she started singing, her eyes found his, and they remained locked intently.
Now and then I confess
You cross my mind
Now and then I guess
I have a little too much time
I've changed my way of thinking
I've tried hard to separate
What came too soon
From what came to late
I don't think about
Me in terms of you
I don't think about
You in terms of us
I don't think about
Us in terms of love
I don't think about
Then in terms of now
I'll find a way
To start again somehow
I don't think about
What we thought it was
Oh, in terms of love
Oh, in terms of love
I'm countin' on
Heaven to understand
I didn't mean to go
And mess up other plans
Sometimes you know
Where you should go
Before you know the way
I'll bother with tomorrow
If I make it through today
I don't think about
Me in terms of you
I don't think about
You in terms of us
I don't think about
Us in terms of love
I don't think about
Then in terms of now
I'll find a way
To start again somehow
Don't think about
What we thought it was
Oh, in terms of love
Mmh yeah ah
I don't think about
Black in terms of gray
Revelations in the light of day
I don't think about
Cold in terms of ice
Or second chances happenin' twice
I don't think about
Me in terms of you
I don't think about
You in terms of us
I don't think about
Us in terms of love
I don't think about
Then in terms of now
I'll find a way
To start again somehow
I don't think about
What we thought it was
Oh, in terms of loove
In terms of love
Oh yeah!
Oh yeah! yeah! yeah! yeah!
I don't think about
Us in terms of love
A huge applause filled the room accompanied by whistles and shouts of approval. Her friends were making the biggest racket out of everyone there. There was only one thing wrong with that picture. Alana wasn't smiling. She merely stood there with tears in her eyes as she stared at Draco. Her hands trembled as she lowered the mic from her mouth. Draco had gone terribly pale, understanding what her song meant, just not wanting to believe it. His eyes looked at her pleadingly, but she just lowered her head and walked off of the stage. Jezebel noticed her friend's reaction and rushed over to her.
" Alana! Alana, what's wrong?!" She shouted over the noise, while grasping her by the shoulders.
Alana just thrusted the mic at her before running towards the door. Draco saw her and before he knew it, he was running after her. He pushed people out of his way, ignoring their glares and harsh remarks. His feet had a mind of their own as they carried him out of the Room of Requirements. When he got out the door, Draco looked down the corridors for Alana. That's when he saw her hurrying off in the direction leading to the Ravenclaw dormitories. He took of after her, not wanting to lose her again.
" Alana!" He called. " Alana, wait up!"
She looked over her shoulder, and her eyes widened. Alana just sped up more, trying to out run him. This brought back memories of the Quidditch pitch the night they'd shared their first kiss. Draco ran as fast as he could to catch up to her. It didn't take much, considering how weak she was. When he caught up, Draco grabbed her by the waist and swung her around, just like before. This time, though, Alana wasn't laughing as she kicked her feet out. She was yelling in protest, while holding back her cries. When he put her down, Draco refused to let her go. He held her close, trying to comfort her and calm her down.
" Please, Alana, calm down! I just want to talk!" He explained as she struggled in his grasp.
" Let me go, Malfoy!" She pleaded, beating her fists into his chest. " Please, just let me go!"
" Why won't you just listen to me?!" He asked, holding her out infront of him.
Alana pulled out of his grip and glared up at him defiantly.
" You cheated on me, you bastard! Don't tell me you forgot already?!" Alana yelled, viscously. " Why won't you just leave me alone? Can't you see that I don't want to be your little whore anymore?!"
Her words wounded him deeply. She had never been his "whore". Alana had been his love, his girl, his angel, not a whore. Draco could feel his heart ache beginning to worsen. This was so hard for him, and Alana wasn't making it any easier either. Why wouldn't she believe him?
" Please, Alana, what happen that night was a huge mistake." He began.
" No, the mistake began when I thought I could trust you with my secret! Even that one dance with you was against my better judgement!" Alana retorted, turning to leave. " I of all people should have known better than to trust someone like you! Now look what's happened! You've gone and broken my heart, shattered it into a million pieces! I hope you're happy!"
Draco grabbed her arm and tried to pull her back to him. Hearing that he'd broken her heart made Draco feel even worse. Alana, his Alana, had to endure that kind of pain; the pain that he himself was going through, too.
" Alana, I never meant to hurt you! You know I'd never even dream about hurting you!" He exclaimed, desperately, knowing that he was losing her more and more with every second that went by. " I love you, Alana! I love you with everything I am!"
" Stop tormenting me! You've hurt me enough, Draco!" Alana pleaded, tears pouring down her cheeks like rain. " Just leave me alone!"
Draco stared into her pain-filled sapphire eyes. The eyes, which were once filled with happiness, laughter, and most of all...love, showed nothing but hurt, sorrow, and hatred. Despair filled Draco as he continued to look into her eyes with his own saddened gray ones. Ever so slowly, he released her. Alana backed away from him, managing to glare at him coldly. Then, she did something that tore Draco up even more. She took the sapphire and diamond ring, his ring, on the chain around her neck into her hand and broke it off. With all of the anger and sorrow that possessed her, Alana threw it at him. Draco just barely managed to catch it. He stared at it in the palm of his hand with its now broken chain in disbelief. When he looked back up at her, Alana saw tears filling his eyes; eyes that held so much suffering. A pang of disbelief hit her hard. She shook out the nagging voice in her head that was telling her to reconsider and kept her cold expression in place.
" When I sang that song, I meant every word of it. I don't think about me in terms of you. I don't think about you in terms of us. I don't think about us in terms of love. You don't know what love is, Draco Malfoy, and you never will. I'm severing all ties with you, everything that binds my soul to yours. All I want is my life back to the way it was before I met you. So, you can take that horrid little token of your "love" and shove it up your pathetic, scrawny ass for all I care. Goodbye for now and forever." Alana told him as she turned around and kept walking towards the dormitories.
Draco stared after her incredulously before looking back at his promise ring that lie there in his hand. Tears streaked down his face slowly. It felt like they came from his heart and not his eyes. He clenched his hand into a fist and looked back up again. When he did, Alana was nowhere in sight.
" Alana!" He called out, hoarsely. " Please, come back, Alana!"
No one answered him in that empty corridor. With his heart even heavier than before, Draco put the ring in his pocket and walked off in the opposite direction towards the Slytherin dormitories. As soon as she was in her room, Alana screamed her lungs out. She went about kicking stuff and throwing stuff to the floor. Alana reached up and started to rip up all of her paintings and drawings that reminded her of him. Her grief was even worse now. Seeing Draco cry when she took the ring off and the look in his eyes had filled her with doubt, but she wasn't about to let go of her grudge just yet. Her heart was too broken for her to allow forgiveness. Sobs escaped her mouth again as she looked around the room for something else to throw. Finally, her eyes fell upon her crystal rose. She strode over to it and picked it up gently. Memories of the night Draco had given it to her flooded back into her mind. Happy memories...memories she now wanted to forget. After looking at it for a second, her face twisted up in rage, and she threw it at the walls. The rose shattered into a million pieces. Alana just cried more, thinking of how it now resembled her heart.
She flung herself onto her bed, hitting her fists into the pillows. Life was so unfair. Why couldn't anything ever go right? She thought that she'd found someone that she could trust, but now she saw just how wrong she was. Alana finally cried herself to sleep that night, wallowing in her grief, wondering if she would ever be the same again.
A/N: I know, still sad and mopey. Please review and tell me what you think.