Jess had been on cloud nine for days. The approval had at last come through and they'd been assigned housing at Escondido. Theirs would be the upper right hand corner apartment in a two-story building. She doubted she'd been more excited about anything in her life.
Jeff, Becky, and her brother Zach would be showing up late in the morning to help with the move. She hadn't been able to wait and was up before dawn quietly packing. The apartment came only partly furnished, so she and Sam were already planning on checking out the thrift stores in town for any bargains to supplement what was already there.
He would be meeting her at the apartment before the others got there, so they could take some measurements and figure out what they had to work with as well as start on cleaning up the place. She'd gotten her copy of the key last night and had been burning to try it ever since. She knew the place would be small, she knew it wouldn't be much, but it would be theirs! Whenever she thought about it, it made her breathless. Theirs.
Lugging a sack of cleaning supplies with her, Jess caught a campus bus down Mayfield Avenue to Escondido Road. She got off at the nearest stop then walked the rest of the way. Her arms hurt from carrying the heavy sack, but it was well worth it. As she rounded the block, she tried to engrave the look of the neighboring houses into her mind, the smell of the trees in the wind, the blueness of the sky. She wanted to embrace everything about this place -- the place where her life and Sam's would flow forward together.
Theirs was a white building with salmon colored columns and wood colored trim, iron rod running between small upstairs porches. She approached it, staring at the black slopping roof, the arched entryway, the well cared for lawn and bushes. The walkway led up to eight small steps with green mailboxes on the left and doors to the downstairs apartments. On the side of the building, she went down some stairs and an iron rod gate. Inside, a solid set of wooden stairs led the way up. Jess could feel the grin growing on her face as she counted the number of them leading to their floor. And there, down this small hallway, was their chartreuse colored door.
She dug for the key in the pocket of her shorts. A whole new facet of her life would begin today.
Agony shot through her head as her hair was yanked from behind and she was thrust forward. She dropped the bag of supplies and her key as she careened toward the wall, hoping to use her hands to minimize the impact. She was pressed against the grainy surface, a large hand grabbing her left arm and twisting it hard behind her back, her right pinned between her and the wall. Tears sprang to her eyes from the intense pain.
"So, Jessica, dear, miss me?"
Hot breath, smelling of alcohol, fell on her face. She couldn't see well enough to tell who was there, but felt a jolt of trepidation as she recognized the voice. It was one she hadn't thought to hear again. "Roger? What the hell is this? What are you doing?"
"Quiet, bitch." She gasped, giving an involuntary yelp as her arm was wrenched higher up her back, sending shooting anguish down her shoulder.
"Did you think I wouldn't figure it out? Did you think I wouldn't want to get revenge?"
"Roger, I, I don't know what you're talking about."
He shoved her arm up again and Jess was forced to bite down on her lip, drawing blood, to keep from screaming.
"Lying, scheming, bitch! Everything I was told about you was true. But I didn't listen. Leading me on, ignoring my gifts, then dating another guy behind my back the whole time. Did you think I wouldn't find out? That you could keep this from me?" The tone turned ugly. "Well you thought wrong."
Jess wanted to deny his words, to rant at him, but kept her mouth shut. He would never believe her, she was sure of it. All it would do was get her hurt.
"You thought you were so tough almost breaking my finger that night, but you won't find me so easy to handle this time. You on the other hand…" He yanked her head back further by the hair and then kissed her on the neck. Revulsion poured through her, but there was absolutely nothing she could do to stop him. "Are mine to do whatever I want to with." He pressed himself against her, still nuzzling on her neck. She could feel his hard-on pushing against her thigh.
"You, you don't want to do this."
"Hah! I've wanted to do this and more since the first time you tried to pretend you were ignoring me. I know it's what you've wanted from me all along."
Jess tried freeing her right arm, scrapping it against the grainy wall. She reached around with her hand once she got it free, but couldn't find anything on him to grab hold of. His elbow kept her arm from being able to reach up so she could get at his face. She tried to rear up her feet to kick him backwards, but he was too close. Fear bubbled up, most of her options coming up empty. She wasn't even sure if anyone would hear her if she tried to scream. "Roger, let me go!"
He rubbed up and down against her, dragging her arm with him, causing her jarring jolts of agony. "And when we're done…you're going to tell me all about how you pulled those nasty tricks on me, too, aren't you? Aren't you?"
She wouldn't cry. She refused to cry. Tears welled up in her eyes anyway. No matter what he did, though, she would tell him absolutely nothing.
Roger crushed into her, giving out a gasp of pain. Before the fact could truly register, Jess found her hair was free and so was her burning arm. Roger's weight was abruptly yanked away from her. She half turned, inadvertently scrapping her abused shoulder against the wall. Her vision tried to go dark as she partially slid down the wall. With an effort of will, she kept from going unconscious, what she could now see sending a bolt of adrenaline through her already charged system.
Sam had Roger by the scruff of the neck, and punched him in the kidney. Roger collapsed to his knees, wheezing in pain. Sam hit him there again. Wearing an expression of calculated coldness, he thumped Roger in the side of the face and drove him to the floor. With frightening control, he knelt beside the writhing jock and grabbed him by the neck before landing another blow on his face. Waves of murderous fury washed from Sam in every direction.
Jess's heart almost stopped as she realized with a start that her lover might very well mean to kill her attacker. Before she knew what she was doing, she pushed away from the wall and staggered toward him. "Sam! Don't!"
His head jerked in her direction, his fist poised to strike again. The cold fire she saw in his eyes scared her like nothing ever had, but as she watched, the fire sputtered and died. His fist loosened and his hand dropped to his side. "Jess…Are you all right?"
He stood up and rushed over to her. His gaze dripped with worry. He moved to touch her then hesitated as if afraid that doing so would hurt her further.
"I'll live." She was just glad her shy scholar was back and that other was gone. Jess cradled her left arm, her shoulder still throbbing madly. "Is he conscious?"
Sam's eyes widened at her words, shining with fear and dawning realization, as he recalled there was someone else with them. "Oh god…" He turned back around and stared at Roger's prone form. A moan escaped from the football player. Sam fumbled for his cell phone. His hands were shaking.
"Who are you calling?"
He sent her a puzzled look. "911."
"Don't. Wait."
"What?" Sam looked thoroughly confused. And she couldn't blame him. She wasn't too sure what she was doing herself. "Jess, he's hurt and so are you."
"I know that! But give me a moment. Please, Sam." Her brain was screaming that calling 911 was the wrong thing to do. She didn't know why yet, but she would figure it out. If only her head would stop throbbing. She needed to think.
She wobbled where she stood, blackness prickling at her vision again. Then Sam was suddenly at her side, letting her lean against him. Gingerly, he put his arm around her, watching for any signs that he was causing her pain. "We need to get you to a doctor."
"Yeah, stick boy, dial 911. Let's get the cops over here to arrest your ass."
They both turned. Roger was still on the ground, slowly climbing to his hands and knees. Blood dribbled from his mouth to the floor.
"Both of you are going to jail for this." His words were slightly slurred, the side of his mouth already starting to swell, but his threats were only too easy to understand. "I'll have ten people show up to testify you threw the first punch. You'll both be rotting in a dump for a long time to come!" The words dripped like venom from his lips.
"No…" Jess realized this was what she had been trying to think about. Roger did have people who would do this for him, misguided as they were. She'd unfortunately met several. Sam's hopes of getting into law school would be ruined and all because of her. "No…" She held onto Sam's shirt, despair descending on her, her knees feeling suddenly weak.
Roger laughed, though not without some pain. "Not so eager to call them now are you? Well don't worry. I'll save you the trouble." He started fumbling with the pocket of his jacket.
"Roger, no…"
"Jess, I'm going to set you down, okay?" Sam's mouth was close to her ear, speaking very rapidly. "I'm going to fix this. But don't look. Remember, this is just a mask. Please? I love you." Carefully, almost tenderly, Sam lowered her to the floor and then left her.
As soon as he did, he bolted across the distance between him and Roger and kicked the football player's cell phone out of his hand. Roger yelped in pain. The phone smacked the corner of the veranda and flipped over the side and out of sight.
Before Roger could do anything else, Sam was on him. He yanked Roger to his feet then drove him backward until he had him up against the wall. He used his left hand to pin him there by the neck, pressing hard enough that Roger started having problems getting full breaths.
"Let go of me, you bastard! I'm not afraid of your skinny ass." Roger tried prying Sam's hand away. His face registered surprise, when he found he couldn't move it.
Jess stared from where she sat, unable to look away despite Sam's request. Her lover's face was an expressionless façade. This time though, his eyes were calm and clear, without the murderous fury she'd seen before. It didn't make her feel any better.
"You should be. You really should be. For who do you think was responsible for your tremendous streak of bad luck before? And I wasn't even trying."
"Bullshit! You're just some freaking geek. She's got you dangling from her fingers just like she's got a bunch of others, the cunt. That's how she did those things to me before. Not you!"
Sam pushed with his hand until Roger was choking. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about. I was responsible for every bit of it. And what I did was mild, compared to what I could have done." Sam's voice grew colder. "I know things about you, Roger Thomas Dicks. Things you wouldn't want getting out. But they might just make the rounds if you don't change your tune and back off."
Sam released some of the pressure on Roger's neck. Roger coughed and wheezed, trying to get air again. "You're, you're bluffing. You don't know a damn thing about me."
"Don't I?" The little knowing smile Sam gave him made Jess shiver. "What about the fact your name was once Thorton and not Dicks? Does that ring a bell?"
Roger grew very still, the color flushing out of his face. "You, you wouldn't!"
"I would. And so much more besides. The little tricks I played on you? Barely the tip of the iceberg. If you don't forget ever being here and never approach Jessica again, I will make sure your life becomes hell on Earth. Your family's past history with intimate details will be sent to every paper in the state and then the country. You think your records being wiped in the computers here was bad? Think what would happen if they disappeared from your bank. How about your credit rating dropping to the basement? Fraudulent charges maxing out every credit card you own and even some you don't. Not that any of that would make a difference once certain parties found out where you and your family are." He leaned in close. "Are you starting to get the picture?"
The more Sam spoke, the wider and wider Roger's eyes got.
"Who, who are you?"
"Just a guy going to college and wanting to lead a normal life." Sam brought his face closer. "Who do you want to be? College football player or social wreck? One phone call is all I need to make it happen." He let Roger go and backed up, his body coiled, ready for violence if need be. "What's it going to be?"
Roger swallowed hard, his gaze never leaving Sam, fear oozing from every pore. "I…I was never here. You hear me! I was never here!" He pushed away from the wall to go for the stairs. When he came close to where Jess sat, he plastered himself against the rail to get as far away from her as possible, almost pitching himself over the side. She heard him stumble off down the stairs, but didn't feel any relief because of his leaving.
She had a different problem now. She stared with still gnawing fear at the man she loved, no longer sure she knew him at all.
Sam turned away to face the wall, his arms stretched to rest on it, his head leaning down, his face hidden. A low moan escaped from him as he slid down to his knees. Jess stared at him confused, sure that Roger had never touched him. A moment later, she reared back in surprise as Sam grabbed his stomach and retched. The acrid smell of vomit was like a slap in the face, letting her mind finally focus again. "Sam!"
Jess struggled to her feet and staggered to his side. He held her back with his arm, to keep her from getting too close to the splatter. She barely noticed this, her gaze locking on the tears shining in his eyes. "Sam?"
He swayed back to his feet, and stepped away from the smelly, chunky mess, and away from her. He took off his open grey long sleeve shirt and wiped at his face and mouth then pitched it off to the corner. He wouldn't look at her. "I'm all right. But you're not. Let me call you a taxi."
The omission of his company wasn't lost on her. "I'm not going anywhere, Samuel Winchester." She tried reaching for him, but he moved out of range before she could do so. He still wouldn't look at her.
Jess shook her head confused. A minute ago she'd been scared of him, of the fury she'd seen and then the coldness, but now… He'd been so angry when he saved her --that she could understand. Could the second time have been a mask, just like he said? A façade for Roger's benefit? "Sam?"
He finally glanced her way, his face twisted with fear and guilt. "I'm so sorry."
She didn't understand. "For saving me?"
"No! I was glad for that. If anything, I wish I could have been here sooner, so he wouldn't have touched you at all!" He shook his head, eyes troubled, lips trembling.
"Then what is it?" A different type of fear glimmered inside her.
Sam seemed to fold in on himself, scrunching down against the veranda until he was sitting on the floor. He pushed the palms of his hands into his closed eyes. "If…if you hadn't stopped me…I, I would have killed him. I meant to kill him…And he's human…" He looked sick.
Jess went down on her knees, guilt suffusing her at ever having doubted or feared him. This was her scholar, this was the man she knew and loved. And he'd never left. "You wouldn't have. I know it." She touched his arm. "It's not in you, Sam. I know who you truly are beneath any mask you might wear."
He glanced at her, doubt and hope battling openly in his face. "Thanks. You don't know how much that means to me."
She tried to smile.
Sam reached over and caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. "We should get that cleaned."
"Hm?" She loved his touch.
"The wall, it cut you. And your shoulder. Did he hurt you anywhere else?"
She shook her head. "No. Thankfully." Jess bit her lip, the cut there stinging. "We should probably call the others and cancel, or tell them to come later. I think they'd freak a little if they saw us like this." Now that it was over, the burden of it all was weighing her down. She felt terribly tired. She hoped this dark cloud wasn't some kind of precursor of things to come. "Sam, will you hold me?"
He reached out for her and brought her close. "Always."