Jess was startled awake by a sudden, violent movement beside her. She turned over only to see her lover sitting up, folded over his knees, gasping.
"Sam?"
She tentatively sat up and reached out to touch his back when he didn't respond. He flinched at her touch, half turning in panic, as if only now becoming aware she was there.
"Are you all right?"
His brow furrowed as he stared at her in the minimal light shinning through the window, almost as if he didn't know her. She saw him open his mouth then swallow as if screwing up his courage. "Jess?"
"Yeah, silly. Who else would it be?" She reached behind her, not willing to take her eyes from him, and turned on the light.
He cringed at the lamp's click, blinking as he was blinded by the light.
She felt a wave of trepidation flush through her as she got a good look at him. He was coated in sweat, his hair sticking to his brow and his t-shirt to his back. His breathing was fast and shallow, and she could see he was shaking. She felt a lump rise to her throat at the pulsing terror she could see reflected in his eyes. "Sam?"
She reached out to touch his face but he took her hand in his before she could. He stared at it, as if trying to convince himself it was real, then placed his other hand over it. He bowed his head over her hand, squeezing until it hurt.
"Sam, honey, talk to me." The last ten months had gone by in a glorious blur. They'd made their apartment totally theirs. They shared anything and everything. Their lives moving forward, growing comfortable.
He moved her hand against his cheek, leaning into it, but still said nothing.
"Please? You're scaring me."
"I…" He didn't look up, still holding onto her hand as if he never meant to let it go.
"Was it another nightmare?" He'd had one last night, possibly one the night before as well, but they'd not affected him this badly before.
"Yeah…" He glanced up this time and she saw tears glinting in his dark eyes. What could be so awful?
"It's over now though, right? And Big Bad Jessica's here. I won't let them get to you. You know that, yes?"
He took a deep breath and tried to give her a tentative smile but fell way short of the mark.
"Come here." Without waiting for him to move, she yanked her arm back and pulled him forward. He gasped in surprise, but didn't fight it. She cuddled him against her chest, placing her free arm across his back.
"Jess." He mumbled this against her as if somehow still not quite believing she was there.
"It's me. It's all right. I'm here." She kissed the top of his head, worried as he still trembled beside her. She grabbed the edge of the cover and pulled it over them. "Do you want to talk about it?"
He released her hand, shaking his head. Suddenly his arms came around her and pulled her close. "Don't leave me. Please don't ever leave me."
She tried to hug him back, though she was having a hard time breathing, he was holding her so tight. It must have been some nightmare. "I think you'll find you're going to have a very hard time getting rid of me, Samuel Winchester. Because I'm not planning on letting either of us go anywhere."
He gave a half sob. "I love you." He squeezed her even harder, digging his face into her shoulder. She wouldn't be surprised if he left her a few bruises for this. At the moment though, she didn't care. He needed her.
"Well, duh. Of course you do. I'm just that good."
That got a laugh out of him. He relaxed his grip a bit. She gulped in some much needed air.
"You just need to quit worrying about your LSAT scores, love. Even if you totally botched them, as if you could, we'll be all right. I'm sure you wouldn't mind it all that much being a kept man, now would you?"
His chuckle rumbled through his chest, making her feel warm all over. He was no longer trembling. She bit his ear hoping to distract him even more.
His hands stroked soft circles on her back and shoulders, his breathing relaxing, growing deeper.
Sam was strong, sensitive, smart, and more complex than anyone suspected. She kissed his jaw, his cheek. Then her lips met his, grateful yet again he was all hers and hers alone.