I don't really remember why I changed I just did. It could be from when Spike and Snake split up, but I don't like blaming my problems on them. I just woke up one day and I knew my life would forever be different from that day forward. I started hanging with Manny once again and we both stayed out late, drinking, doing the 'cool shit'. She was the sex god of the school and I was her little follower. It didn't bother me at first cause I got all her left overs, but after a while I wanted more. I wanted to be the 'It girl'. So I changed into more sexier clothes and started getting really freaky. Dancing top less on the lunch table. Having wild sex in the principles office. At first everyone thought I had gone crazy. With Sean coming back to Degrassi and everything that had happened, but then they just realized I had changed.

"Em?'' Spikes voice broke me out of my train of thought. Shaking my head a little I looked around at my surroundings and saw I was in the kitchen standing by the door. "Em...?" Spike repeated again making me look up at her through violet eyes. "Are you ok sweetie? You were standing there for a while."

"Um..yeah mom sorry." I replied rubbing a hand over my tired eyes. Treading over to the table I throw myself in a empty seat and place my head in my hands. Man I feel like shit! I needed my painkillers but mom was completely out. The 'docter' as she calls him gave her painkillers for her headaches and sleeping pills after the split up. Mom was a complete wreck, hell she still is. Feeling a gentle hand on my shoulder I look up and give a weak smile.

"You want to stay home sweetie?" She asked me, her voice not hiding away how sad she truly is.

"Nah mom..I just have a headache." I lied. Pushing the chair back I stand up. Bending down I grab my books off the table from where I left them Friday. I headed to the doorway but stoped. I didn't turned around but I could feel Spikes eyes on me. "I...i lo...I'll see ya later ok." I rush out before the tears could fall. I practically jogged to the front door and rushed out..Totally forgetting to grab my jacket. It was the middle of November and I had on a small pink tube top and low rise jeans. Throwing my books down on the porch I start off down the sidewalk. I've stoped caring about my school work. I carry by books out of the house and I always throw them down knowing mom wont look..She never comes outside anymore anyways.

What happened back there usually happens everyday. Mom pleads with me to stay home and I always say no..Just before I leave I try to say I love you, but I can never get it out. Not after everything that has happened. I know mom blames herself for loosing Snake and baby Jake. A few months from now baby Jake came down with a cold. Well mom just thought it was that a normal flue..so she stayed home watching him..Later that night she woke up and he was breathing. Found out he had some rare sickness and it was treatable. So mom is really taking it hard.

As a gush of wind blows my way I wrap my arms around my stomach. Trying to offer some warmth. Taking the hair tie off my arm I tie my hair up in a bun, trying to keep it out of my eyes. I was walking for about a minute before I heard a car honk. Thinking it was meant for someone else I ignored it and continued my walk. Just as I turned the corner the car moved up right beside me. Some kind of rap song blared out from the speakers, making the old rusty car shake.

"Yo green peace wanna hitch a ride?" A familiar voice yelled over the music. If you can even call that music. A sudden chill ran down my spine at the sound of that voice. Only one person I knew would ever call me green peace still after everything I had done. Turning my head sharply toward him I glared through violet eyes.

"Why would I ever get in a car with you?" Once that question left my mouths I mentally slapped myself. I had gotten in cars with him far to many times to count.

"Oh come on babe. You know your always up for a ride in my car." He said sarcastically with a sly smirk on his face.

"Shut it Jay before I make you." I said walking even quicker just trying to get away from him.

"Just get in the damn car." He said turning off the music. I can hear the anger start to seep its way in his voice.

"Just stay out of my life." I throw back at him before turning the corner to Degrassi. I hear him curse before driving away, but not toward the school like I was going no he was heading in the other direction. Shaking my head I rush up the stairs catching a few cat calls and whistles from the guys satting on the steps. I give them a wave and smile sweetly at them before pushing open the doors.

Degrassi...The school held some many dark secrets behind these closed doors. A few of them mine. Ellie first got caught cutting here. Sean first stealed here and meet Jay. Me and Alex got into right here in these halls...but none of them takes the cake to Rick bringing the gun. But without Degrassi I don't think anyone of us would be whole.

"Emma!" Manny yells as she jogs over to me. It seemed like the crowd of students in the hall moves out of the way for her. She stops standing in front of me. In her hands in a flyer of some sort. "Did you see this?" She asked shoving the flyer in my face, still grinning like crazy.

Blinking a few times I grab the flyer from her hands. Bringing it a little farther away from my face I read it. In bright orange and lime green letters read, 'For the time of your life and if you just wanna get high. Drop by Chester's house around 8:00.' Under neath it was a picture of him and his brothers smoking lord knows what. Looking back up at Manny I instantly knew why she was grinning. "He asked you himself didn't he?"

"Yep and he asked me if you would come to." Rolling my eyes I told her I would drop by for a while before pushing past her and heading off to my locker. Don't get me wrong me and Manny still talk from time to time. But were not as close as we use to be...I don't think we'll ever be that close again. Stopping at my locker I turned in the combination and yanked open the locker. A small piece of paper glided out and landed on the floor. Bending down I grab it and smiled at the handwriting.

Hey babe, meet me in the janitor's closet

at the start of school.

xo TJ.

TJ. My fling of the week as you can put it. He was a new kid at school and well damn was he hot. Short jet black hair, intense green eyes, and lord did he have the body. Muscles everywhere you look! Throwing the paper back in the locker I grab my white purse off the shelve and unzip it. Must look my best for my men. Taking out a stick of red ruby lipstick I apply it to my full lips. After redoing the rest of my make-up I slammed my locker shut and head off to the janitor's closet just as the bell rang.