Jay sat huddled in a corner in the waiting room of the local hospital. His hands were covered over his eyes so nobody could see his tears. He still had a reputation to up hold didn't he? He could hear the whimpers of his class mates all around him. Hear the pleas of her parents as they sat holding each other. Every one was there. Ellie was holding Seany boys hand. Ashley was near them. Totally ignoring the fact that Manny was all over Craig. Paige was crying into Spinners shoulder. Her brother trying to give Marco some comfort at his time of need. Jimmy's hands were balled into his fist as he stared straight ahead.

Jay just wanted to scream out. To let out all of his emotions that were building up inside of him. He couldn't believe that his Emma. The only person that he truly cared for in the world was laying in a hospital bed with wires all pluged inside of her. He couldn't take it anymore. If she died...he'd be nothing. He'd have nothing to live for anymore. He thought as more angry tears stung his eyes. Shaking his head he jumped up. He needed to get out of there. Needed some air. As he jumped up Sean's head turned toward him. He asked him a question with his eyes but Jay only shook his head as he moved toward the door. Just before he opened it he moved quickly back toward Emma's parents and bent down on his knees in front of her mother.

He moved his hands to cover hers witch were in her lap. "I'm so sorry." He whispered staring into her eyes. Not caring if she or anybody else saw the tears that fell from them. All Spike could do was nod her head before placing it back on Snake's shoulder. Her sobs growing silent soon after.

Jay stood back up and wiped his pants legs off. He turned and stared at the many confused faces before quickly turning around and practically running out of the room. He slammed the hospital door behind him. Not caring that a nurse and doctor both yelled at him to come back. Not caring that he was getting many weird looks from people on the street as he cursed out loud, or roughly ran a hand through his hair. He needed someone at that moment. Needed someone that wouldn't judge him if he cried or punched a hole into a wall. Someone that wouldn't expect much from him.

He walked quickly as fast as he could to the one place where
he could finally break down. What if she did die? All fingers would be pointed his way. Shaking his head he felt the tears once again sting his eyes. No he wasn't going to cry right now. Taking a deep breath he bit his bottom lip as he stared out into the night sky. Why did he have to go chasing after her? If he would of just left her alone none of this would be happening. Damn him and his stupid heart. He saw the small apartment building up ahead and hurried up. Running up the run down stairs he moved toward the door that was marked with a marker numbered 22. Lifting a shaky hand he formed it into a fist and started to pound onto the door. Not caring if he woke up everyone else in the damn apartment. He kept pounding on the door for a good ten minutes before the door finally was yanked open. Standing on the other side was a very mad looking Alex. She was clad in a pair of booty shorts and a stained white tank top. Placing her hands on her hips she gave Jay a very angry look.

"What do you want?" She asked him still mad that he had ran out on her a few days ago. Sighing, she took one look at him. Really looked at him and moved out of the doorway. Placing a finger to her lips she 'shoo' him as she closed the door behind her. She quickly grabbed his arm in a gental grip and pulled him behind her as she moved toward her small bedroom. Her stepfather passed out on the couch, cans of beer lining the table. Jay lowered his head in shame. He remembered that man all to well. Him and Jay hit it off all too well, but her stepfather had a problem of hitting them both. Shaking his head he walked into Alex's small closet size room and shut the door behind him.

Alex lowered herself onto the bed and pulled her legs up to her chest and held them they're by wrapping her arms around them. She stared at Jay who was paceing back and forth on her carpet. She cleared her throat thinking that would get his attention but that didn't. "Jay whats wrong?" She asked him softly knowing something was really up for him to bother coming back.

He lifted his head from staring at the ground, and thats when Alex saw the tears streaming down his cheeks. Her eyes opened wide and she jumped up off the bed and hurried over to him. Jay grabbed on to her and held her to him as if she was his life line. She whispered soothing words to him as his legs gave out and they both went crashing to the ground. She wrapped an arm around his waist and held onto him and started to run her fingers through his hair. She was shocked. She had never seen Jay this upset. Well once before and that was when he found out his mother wasn't coming back home. She remembered how upset he was during the funeral and afterwards. Moving a hand underneath his chin she lifted his head up slowly.

"Jay baby you've got to tell me whats wrong so I can make it better." She whispered feeling her own voice crack. Gosh she hated seeing him so upset. It always seemed to make her upset.

Jay shook his head more tears coming to his eyes at the thought. "No..no!" He screamed reaching up and grabbing onto her shoulders tight as if she was trying to tear away from him. That only made her hold him tighter. "You cant make it better." He whispered as another sob broke through him.

Alex rubbed his back and continued to hold him for quiet a while. At least till his sobs died down and the only reminder of tears on his face were the streaks of wetness down his cheeks. She lifted his head up once again and leaned forwards kissing his lips quickly. She was about to pull back but Jay held her to him and kissed her with such passion. She ran her fingers through his hair and moaned into the kiss. He had never kissed her like this before. Usually he would give her a peck and told her to go get a real boyfriend if she wanted a kiss. Once he pulled away she almost whimpered but got control of herself. Licking her lips she cleared her throat before speaking. "So are you going to tell me what is wrong with you now?" She asked him for like the third time since he had came to her house.

Jay closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before telling Alex everything. He told her about how him and Emma had a secret relationship. How he screwed everything up with her. Then how she had came to see Sean and ended up seeing him. How she had ran away from him and then she got hit by a car. "She's going to die because of me!" He screamed not caring anymore if he woke up her stepfather or her mother.

Alex's eyes opened wide and she shooed him before jumping up from the floor. She slowly cracked open the door and stuck her head out only to hear snores. Sighing, she took a few deep breaths before moving back down toward the floor where Jay was. She shook her head and lifted a hand up to run it through her hair. "Jay...she's not going to die..I promise you." She said softly.

"Don't promise things you cant keep Lexi." He said softly moving to run his hands up and down her back. He gave her a small smile before leaning forwards onces again and placing another kiss on her lips. This one shorter then the last. He pulled back and placed his foreheads on hers. "I need to go back to the hospital." He whispered. She nodded her head about to open her mouth but Jay placed a finger over her lips stopping her from speaking. "I'll tell you how things go." He said softly before hurrying out the door and tip toeing threw the front room and then running down the stairs. He got to the hospital a few minutes later.

Once Jay had entered the waiting room he was meet with only a few faces this time. Most of the people had left the hospital. Only leaving her close friends JT, Manny, Toby, and Sean. He sighed and moved to take a seat next to Sean. Placing a hand on his shoulder he spoke. His voice coming out horse due to all the crying he had done. "Where's her parents man?" He asked softly.

Sean turned his head toward Jay and shook his head. "They're in there with her man." He took a long pause. As if he was thinking over his next words. "When the doctor came out to talk to her parents he didn't have a good expression of his face." He said shaking his head as his hands clenched into fist. Memories of all the hell he had put her through was running through his head making angry tears leak out at the sides.

Jay almost wanted to scream out that news. He was hoping for some good news but that sure as hell wasn't good news. Jay turned away from Sean knowing that he had lost him to his memories. He looked over at the other three, and saw that they were all huddled together and they were crying. Sighing he turned toward the doors and stared at them. Well more like glared at them. As if he stared long enough it would solve all of his problems.

He had sat like that for a few minutes. Just staring at the door before it was opened and in stepped her parents. They both had sad looks on they're face. Her mother was crying a lot harder then she had before, and Snake was trying to calm her down as tears fell from his eyes. Jay jumped up from his seat and rushed over to them. Standing in front of them he spoke calmly. "Ms. Nelson." He spoke softly trying to get her attention. But she never did look up Snake did speak though, but his voice was very low and sorrow filled. "Kids.." He started catching the attention of every teen in the room. "Emma...Emma's not going to make it." He said trailing off as Spike broke out in sobs once again. He held her tighter and whispered soothing words to her as his tears fell onto her head.

Lifting his head up again he took a few deep breaths. Staring over Jay's shoulder he finished up what he had to say. "The doctors said she had too much internal bleeding, and that they're was no way he could save her." At those words Jay felt his heart stop beating. He felt cold inside as he stood in front of her parents and waited to hear some good news. He must have some good news to tell them. "The doctors think its best if you guys go in and say your goodbyes so Spike and me can spend the night with her." He said moving Spike and himself over to two vacant seats. Once the words you guys were out of his mouth Jay had already started for the door. He ignored Sean's protest as to why he got to go in as he rushed down the hall way and into the room he had watched them take her to. He stood outside of her door way for a while taking calming breaths. He was scared of what he would see once he opened the door. Scared of what kind of condition she was in.

Pushing open the door his breath caught in his throat at what he saw. She was laying in bed her eyes closed and so many wires connected to her. Machines of all kind were lined up around the bed and were beeping like mad. He moved quickly over to her side and reached out grabbing her hand that was laying on her chest. She looked so peaceful asleep he thought as he felt just how cold her hand really was.

He felt tears once again reach his eyes but he held them back. He was not going to cry in front of the women that he loved. Yes, he loved her. At that thought the tears fell with out stopping. He bent down beside her bed and held onto her hand tightly not wanting to let go at all. He placed his head on her chest and started to speak. At first his voice came out all crack since he had been crying so much. But after clearing it for a few seconds it started to sound normal.

"ohh baby." He whispered bringing her hand up to his lips and kissed his gently. "Please don't leave me..please I never meant to hurt you at all." He begged not caring if anybody heard him or if they came inside. "Its all my fault." He whispered over and over again once he realized that she wasn't going to wake up and speak to him. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction to hear her voice once more. "Please sweetie if you live I swear I wont ever come around you again..Ever!" He begged standing up now and bending down to place kisses all over her face. He felt as if his heart was breaking into a million pieces. Felt his blood run cold, and his life slowly drain from his body. He stayed with her for a little while longer. In fact he wanted to stay with her forever. But Sean had came in and practically dragged him out as Manny and the others went in to say goodbye.

"Cool it man!" Sean yelled at him running a hand through his already messy hair.

Jay glared at him and shoved him away from him. The force of the shove sent Sean flying into the wall behind him. Jay about growled at him as he moved to stand in front of Sean and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "Listen here man!" He growled out feeling anger take over his control. "Dont tell me to cool off...you dont know what its like to have the love of your life laying in there dieing!" He growled out before moving away from Sean and almost running over a nurse as he headed toward the door.

Sean shook his head and closed his eyes as tight as they would go. Sliding down the floor he sat there up against the wall in the middle of the hospital hallway. Reaching up with a shaky hand he ran it over his face. "Yes I do." He whispered under his breath as more tears came to his eyes.

THE END!

7-31-07