Change of Heart
By Tempest Break
Disclaimer: Alright... I don't own Harry Potter. YOU GOT ME! Also, I don't own the song "Do It For Love", which I use in this chapter. It's by Hall & Oates. Anyway... I can't think of anything I own that I haven't already said, so... That's about it for this disclaimer.
Summary: James obviously likes Lily, but she hates his guts. This is the way it's been for six years. However, in their last year, James finally has a chance, as he and Lily are Head Boy and Girl, and share a tower all to themselves. While James rejoices, Lily would rather kill herself than spend more than a nanosecond with James, who, in her opinion, is a conceited jerk. James has nine months to reverse six years of hatred for him, and will Lily have a change of heart?
- - - - - - - - -
Chapter Ten: Happy Wonderful Christmas
The pre-Christmas Break exams were tough to many students, but not to James, or Sirius, or Remus. For the remainder of the class, after they had finished, James and Sirius would talk in loud whispers about the exam, usually giving some answers away. Ares had blown up at them in her class, but in her rage she had also revealed how exactly to deal with a Lethifold, and James and Sirius had promptly cracked up. She took away fifteen House points each, but they won them back in Transfiguration the following day.
James awoke on Christmas Day earlier than usual, around six, and to his delight found a rather large pile of presents at the foot of his bed. Seeing no reason to go back to sleep, he got up and opened the door to the common room. He leaned his head out and saw that Lily was sitting at the couch with her half-opened presents stacked on the coffee table.
James levitated his presents and they followed him as he went to sit in one of the squishy armchairs. They dropped onto the coffee table next to Lily's.
"Good morning," he greeted. "Happy Christmas, Evans."
"Happy Christmas, Potter," replied Lily, nibbling on a Chocolate Frog she had gotten. "Oh, um, by the way," she said, a little uncertainly. "Thank you for the books." She pointed to the three books James had bought her, one on Quidditch, another on Transfiguration, and the last one a first-edition of The Neverending Story, which Colleen had told him was Lily's favorite book of all time. "I needed a new copy of that," Lily told him.
"No problem." James picked a rectangular package and turned it over, looking for a name. "Oh, from O'Brian," he said.
"I didn't know you were such good friends," Lily commented. "Colleen got me that." She pointed to one of the many books on the table – Quidditch Through the Ages by Kennilworthy Whisp, one of James's favorite books.
"You know there's a copy in the library," he told her while unwrapping the present from Colleen.
"Yes," said Lily. "I just don't know what it is about library books – I don't like them that much. I mean, my family isn't very well off, so more often than not I have to use them, but I prefer to own my books."
James finally ripped through the wrapping paper (it was a very bad wrapping job on the part of Colleen, involving much more tape than could be chewed through), and found a broom-care kit. "Oh, brilliant," said James. "Some of the twigs are coming out of alignment on my Nimbus, I really need to fix it."
"It seems like the only thing Colleen thinks about is Quidditch," said Lily. "Last year she even gave Selena a necklace with a small Snitch on it, and Selena isn't a very big Quidditch fan."
"Neither were you until I made you come to a game," James pointed out, taking another present, this time oddly shaped. He opened the small card that accompanied it. "It says, 'From Sirius, whose ass is God's painting.'" James rolled his eyes, and opened the gift.
"I think his ego is actually bigger than yours," Lily remarked.
Sirius had given James the mother lode of sweets – Pepper Imps, Chocolate Frogs, Every-Flavor Beans, anything that could be gotten at Honeydukes, and James wasn't altogether sure that Sirius had paid for them, not with the secret passage leading straight to the cellar.
James picked up Peter's present next, and read the note aloud again: "'To Prongs, from Wormtail.' This part is scratched out, but I think I can read it... It's in Sirius's handwriting. 'Whose ass is God's Picasso painting.'"
Lily laughed aloud. James stared at her. It was the first time she had laughed in his presence, and it was shocking and awesome at the same time. Her eyes crinkled up and her mouth opened in a wide smile. What surprised James was that it was so honest – as if she rarely got to laugh and was completely taken by surprise that she was doing it at that moment.
After Peter's present (a Remembrall – Peter seemed to think James had the same memory problems that he did) and Remus's (A Do-It-Yourself Guide to Mischief-Making by Mercurius Erro), James picked up a small, rectangular package wrapped perfectly in Gryffindor House colors, with a tiny gold bow on the top.
"Wow, small," he muttered, pulling off the bow.
Lily blushed. "Um, that's from me," she mumbled.
A large grin spread across James's face. "Wow, Lily! Thanks! You didn't have to. Wow, thank you!"
"It's nothing really," she said, still a little red. "I just figured that since, you know, you'd given me those books for my birthday, not to mention the ones you gave me today…"
James quickly undid the wrapping paper and uncovered one of the littlest books he had ever seen. On the cover was a picture of a Golden Snitch that darted this way and that, all over the book, so you never knew where it would be at any one moment. The title was The Smallest Book on the Smallest Ball: The Golden Snitch.
"It's all about the Snitch and famous Seekers," said Lily. "I thought you might like it."
"This is brilliant, Evans," James enthused. "Thank you so much."
Lily smiled. "You're welcome. Well, I'm going to go take my shower and get down to the Great Hall to have breakfast and help with the decorations. I'll see you."
"Yeah, see you," he said, still gazing down at the book she had given him. This Christmas felt ten times better than any one previous, and just because Lily Evans had given him a tiny little book.
- - - - -
James walked, grinning, into the Great Hall and took a seat next to his fellow Marauders. "Hey, mates. Happy Wonderful Christmas!"
"You, too, but why are you so happy?" Peter questioned.
"Must be a sugar high," Sirius said to Peter confidentially. "I must have filled three sacks with candy. You know he's got a bottomless pit for a stomach when it comes to sweets."
James shook his head. "That's not it – Evans gave me something!" he said. "She actually went out and bought me something!"
"What did she get you?" asked Sirius.
"It's right here." He pulled it out of his pocket. Sirius held out his hand, but James said, "No, you can't hold it, you'll get it sticky. You have syrup all over your hands."
Sirius studied James apprehensively. "Since when do you care so much about a little book? Give it here." He grabbed for it, but James pulled it out of the way.
"No," he insisted. "Evans gave it to me, I don't want it all mucked up."
Sirius rested his chin in his hand and looked to Remus and Peter. "So what do you think, has Prongs gone mental?" he inquired.
Peter nodded, staring apprehensively at James, but Remus said, "It's natural for him not to want you to touch it. It's obviously special to him."
"Plenty of things are special to me, I let people touch them all the time," said Sirius. After a moment, a grin split his face when he realized how wrong it sounded.
Remus grimaced. "Honestly," he mumbled. "Anyway, you should respect Prongs's wishes and not try to get the book with your hands like that."
"All right, just let me go dip my hands in acid," said Sirius sarcastically.
"Thanks, Moony," said James, slipping the book back into his pocket.
- - - - -
At 7:10, James stepped out of the Head Tower in his chocolate-colored dress robes and headed toward Gryffindor Tower to meet Selena. He passed Nearly-Headless Nick on his way, and they shared a quick banter before passing.
He reached the portrait hall, gave the Fat Lady the password, and entered the common room. There, he found Sirius, Remus, and Peter sitting around the fire, along with David Gilmore, the Gryffindor Beater who had asked Colleen.
"Oy, Prongs!" shouted Sirius, running over. His dark blue dress robes matched his eyes, and he had combed his long, black hair so that a few strands flopped down onto his forehead. He grinned. "They're still not down yet. Girls..."
James was surprised Remus was still there. "Shouldn't you be meeting Evans?" he asked.
"You're probably right. I was just enjoying the company before I headed off." Remus said goodbye to the other Marauders before leaving the common room.
Peter looked awfully anxious, playing with the sleeves of his tan dress robes.
"Who's your date, Wormtail?" asked James.
"Piper Willard," he answered. "Fifth year, brown hair, rather tall and pretty."
"What's she going with you for, then?" laughed Sirius.
Peter glared at him. "I'll have you know she asked me, so you can sod off, Padfoot," he said indignantly. "I hope she didn't rethink it at the last minute. Do you know of any girls who have done that before?"
"Never with me," said Sirius unsympathetically.
James shook his head. "Don't worry. Colleen, Cady, and Selena aren't down yet, either. They're probably just doing their hair and whatnot."
"Actually, we're done." They looked up to see Colleen standing at the top of the stairs, along with Selena, Cady, and the girl who had to be Piper Willard. Colleen grinned at them. "Well, let's get down there, eh?" She came down the stairs, jumping the last three and landing easily at the foot of the staircase. "C'mon, David."
David smiled at her. "You look great, Colleen," he complimented.
"Thanks," she said. "You look lovely as well, Davy Dreamboat. I know one or two young lassies who'll be mentally scratching out my eyes on the dance floor."
"Well, tell me if any of them are good-looking, will you?"
The other girls came down, too. James watched Selena with slight concern – she looked incredibly frail in her white dress robes, and he almost thought she was going to collapse just there.
"I'm fine, James," she told him with a reassuring smile, obviously sensing his worry.
"Oh, I know," James lied lamely. "Um, let's go."
He, Sirius, Peter, David, and their dates hurried down to the Great Hall. They got there exactly on time, just as the doors were thrown open, and everyone poured into the Great Hall. James didn't bother to mask his awe at how well the decorations had turned out. Of course, he and Lily had helped to embellish the Hall, but they hadn't seen it with all the finishing touches Dumbledore and the rest of the staff had put on.
Sparkly tinsel adorned the Great Hall, and fairy lights jumped around near the ceiling. The gigantic Christmas tree Hagrid had dragged in didn't have an empty branch on it; baubles of all sorts hung from it. Nearly-Headless Nick had convinced the other House ghosts to get in the spirit of things, and the Fat Friar, the Gray Lady, and even the Bloody Baron sang Christmas carols at the front of the Great Hall.
Sirius and Cady immediately went over to the food table, and James followed with Selena. "This is really amazing," said Selena, gazing around. "I can't believe what's been done with this place. Did you and Lily do all of this?"
"No, not all of it," James said honestly. "We helped, though."
Dumbledore stood at the Head table, and, just as though they were sitting down to dinner, the Great Hall fell silent. "First of all," said the Headmaster, "Happy Christmas to all." Everyone cheered. Dumbledore raised a hand to quiet them again. "I just felt I would tell you that, while this ghostly quartet's singing is lovely, they will not be our only entertainment. I have had the fortune to be close acquaintances with a Miss Euterpe Vox, and she has agreed to sing for us tonight."
"Euterpe Vox!" exclaimed Cady excitedly. "She's my favorite singer!"
"She's really famous," agreed Piper Willard, who had joined them with Peter. "I can't believe Professor Dumbledore could get her."
"Have you heard of her before?" James asked Sirius.
Sirius shook his head. "Must be a girls' singer," he said.
To their surprise, though, Euterpe Vox was an amazing singer, and she wasn't all slow, romantic songs as they had thought. She had many good, loud songs that the boys appreciated. Colleen seemed to like them, too; she had abundant energy and was out on the dance floor for every song, even when David was too tired to even stand.
"She's a ruddy ball of fire," he muttered, fanning himself as he watched Colleen grab a fifth-year Hufflepuff and spin him.
After a couple dances, James turned to Sirius and asked, "Have you seen Moony? He and Evans should have been here for a while already."
"Maybe they got, er, distracted," said Sirius with a smirk.
"Honestly, he's not you," James rolled his eyes. "I'm going to go look for them." He turned to Selena. "Are you okay here with Sirius and Cady?"
"Of course," she said. "Go and find Lily."
"I'm looking for Remus," James insisted, but Selena just smiled at him. James hurried away, pushing his way through the crowd of couples.
"Watch it, Potter," snarled an unfortunately familiar voice. James turned to find that the last person he had bumped into was Edmond Jugson with – James had to smirk at Jugson's misfortune – Alecto Carrow.
"Hello, James," Carrow greeted him coyly, flipping her patchy hair over her shoulder.
"Hullo," muttered James before rushing away from the pair. Just hearing Carrow's voice sent made him shudder.
Finally, he caught sight of the gray robes Remus was wearing, and the next he saw Remus himself. He leapt at him, nearly pushing a pair of fourth years to the floor. "There you are!" he exclaimed. "I've been looking all over for you!"
"I've been trying to find you, as well," said Remus.
"Where's Evans?"
"Oh, Keaton Weber asked her to dance this song," Remus said. "I was getting a bit tired anyway."
James was angry for some reason not even he understood. "This is a slow song, Moony! And you let her dance with Weber? Keaton Weber, the Ravenclaw Beater? That Keaton Weber?"
"I don't imagine Keaton Weber is a very common name," Remus remarked. "Now, where are Wormtail and Padfoot? I'll come with you back to wherever you are, but I should probably tell Lily where I am."
"I'll find her, you go over with Padfoot and the others," said James. "They're just over there by the food table." He pointed to where they were standing.
"Thank you," said Remus, and he walked off toward where Sirius stood.
James wove through the crowd, looking for Lily. He didn't see her at first, but he did see Weber, one of the Ravenclaw Beaters. Then James saw Lily.
She wore emerald green dress robes, which matched her eyes perfectly, and her hair was slightly curled so that it fell in silky waves onto her shoulders. Her cheeks were a bit pink from dancing, which gave her a sweet, wholesome look. After James got over his initial urge to turn to mush at the sight of her, he was enraged that Remus had let her dance with Weber.
James stormed up to the couple and asked, "May I cut in?"
"Sure, be my guest," agreed Weber, backing away from Lily. He was actually quite a nice guy, but James wasn't thinking clearly.
James seized Lily's hands in his own and fell into step with her.
"Well, hello there, Potter," Lily said. "Where's Selena? Isn't she your date?"
"She's over with Sirius and Peter," he said. "Remus is heading over there, too, with Colleen and a few other people, probably."
"Oh, that's nice." Lily took a look around. "The Great Hall really looks fantastic, doesn't it? I knew we did a good job decorating, but the professors were brilliant."
"Yeah," agreed James. "So, what's with you and Weber?"
Lily looked surprised. "There's nothing going on between us. He just asked me to dance, and since I have nothing against him, I agreed."
"He didn't try anything on you, did he?" James persisted suspiciously.
"What? No." Lily sounded appalled at the idea. "Of course not!"
"Good," he said emphatically.
Lily frowned in confusion. "Why are you so – ?"
"Excuse me!" James turned to find Sirius and Cady right next to them. "Mind if we swap?" Sirius cut in between James and Lily and swept Lily away from James.
James scowled after Sirius, but took Cady's hands and began to dance with her. The song had changed, and now it was a much faster one. James was normally quite a good dancer (his mother had insisted on lessons for him when he was young), but he couldn't concentrate.
"Ow!" exclaimed Cady. "You stepped on my foot!"
"Oh, sorry!" James jumped away from her.
"You may be a whiz on a broom, James, but you're not much on your feet. I'm finding another dance partner..." muttered Cady, limping away from James.
James sighed and went to the food table, where Remus, Peter, Selena, and Piper were standing. "Hey," said James, serving himself some pumpkin juice. Just before he drank some, he stopped. "Wait, did Sirius spike this?"
"Not yet," said Remus.
"Okay." James downed the pumpkin juice in one gulp. "Silver, do you want to dance?" he asked.
Selena smiled and nodded. "I'll be leaving soon, so yes," she said. James led her onto the dance floor. "You seem upset," she told him. "Why?"
"Nothing. I'm fine," James said, but he was staring over Selena's shoulder at Lily, dancing with Sirius still. Sirius said something to her, and Lily laughed, covering her mouth with her hand.
"You're looking at Lily and Sirius, aren't you?" said Selena. James glanced at her, and she was smiling. "You're angry because Lily is dancing with your best friend. I don't suppose you know why."
"What are you on about?" asked James. "Do you think I'm jealous or something? I'm not, I'm just – "
"Whatever you want to believe, James," said Selena.
James frowned at her. She only smiled back at him. "You're a little infuriating, you know that?" he said.
"Lily's told me on many occasions," she answered, unperturbed. When the song ended, she stepped away and said, "Well, I should probably be going. Have a nice night, James."
"You, too," he said. He watched her leave before going back to Sirius, Remus, and Peter. "Where'd the girls go?" he asked.
"Colleen is with David, Cady's dancing with some Gryffindor in her year, and Lily and Piper are in the bathroom," said Remus. "What happened to Selena?"
"She had to leave early," James told him, taking one of the empty chairs. "She kinda reminds me of you, Moony. Do you know if you're related?"
Remus only smiled – once again reminding James eerily of Selena. Then he stood from his chair, saying, "Well, there's Lily. I think I'll dance this one with her."
James listened to the song change, and he heard with a strange sort of disappointment that it was a slow song. Euterpe Vox's voice rang out clearly as she sang.
"I would fly ten thousand miles
Through the pouring rain
Just to see your face."
"Hey, Cap'n," said Colleen, coming up to James. David trailed wearily behind her. "You wanna dance with me? This slacker can't take the O'Brian Experience."
"Sure," agreed James. Colleen grabbed his hands, and pulled him onto the floor. James tried not to stare at Lily and Remus.
"I'd bare my soul to a total stranger
Just so say your name
And I'm not ashamed."
"You been having fun?" asked Colleen, grinning.
James shrugged. "More or less, yeah," he told her. "My date had to leave early, though."
"Selena? Yeah," said Colleen, looking a little worried. "Selena... Selena has troubles."
"Just to love you into every morning
I would change my name
And run away."
"Does she ever tell you some kinda cryptic things?" asked James. "She keeps talking to me about Evans."
Colleen nodded. "Oh, yeah. All the time," she said. "When I was going out with Kade Brinkman in fifth year, she kept warning me about him. It turned out she was right – I caught him snogging Joni Lansing. Mostly, Selena has some pretty good insight."
James glanced at Lily and Remus and clenched his teeth. "Good insight, huh?" he muttered.
"I won't do it for money,
I won't do it for pride,
I won't do it to please somebody else if it don't feel right.
But I'll do it for you,
At least I'll try.
I don't need any other reason
Than I feel it deep inside
I'll do it for love."
"Mm hmm," said Colleen. "What's she been telling you?"
"Nothing in particular. I think she thinks I'm jealous of Remus for going with Evans, but that's just ridiculous."
Colleen raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you so sure?"
"Now you're doing it!" groaned James.
"I would write your name across the sky
So the world could see
What you mean to me."
"Sorry, sorry," said Colleen. "But I have a sort of reverence for Selena's 'predictions', or whatever you might call them."
James smiled. "Oh, predictions? Well, that makes me feel better. I never held much stock in Divination."
"I'd sing songs at the top of my voice
In an empty room
Just to dance with you."
Sirius came up next to them with Cady. "Hey, mates," he greeted. "Rather cheesy song, eh?"
"It's 'romantic'," agreed Colleen.
"What? I haven't been listening," said James.
"And to love you into every morning
I'd leave the world behind
And slow down time."
"Wait, wait, that's not the worst part. Here comes the chorus," said Sirius, holding up his hand to indicate that James listen to the song.
"I won't do it for money
I won't do it for pride
I won't do it to please somebody else if it don't feel right
But I'll do it for you
At least I'll try
I don't need any other reason
Than I feel it deep inside
I'll do it for love."
"Pretty corny, wot?" Sirius grinned. "'I feel it deep inside'... Sounds more like a bowel movement to me."
"Too many Acid Pops," agreed Colleen.
James nodded, but he was staring at Lily. For some reason, the song hadn't seemed a bit cheesy to him, even though he knew it should. It sounded like the writer knew what he was talking about, and James totally agreed with him.
"What I'd do for love can take us anywhere at all..."
Something red caught James's eye, and he looked above Remus and Lily. Hung there was a bright, pretty patch of mistletoe. James felt his stomach drop out, replaced with dread. He immediately let go of Colleen, and began to make his way over to the pair before anyone saw the mistletoe.
He had nearly made it when he heard Sirius shout, "Oy! Look who's under the mistletoe!"
James winced. "Too late," he muttered, watching as Remus and Lily figured out that they were the ones.
"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" Sirius chanted, getting others to join in with him.
James was silent. It was almost like in slow motion. He watched Lily's beautiful emerald eyes meet Remus's, and almost heard their thoughts: What the heck? Might as well. Remus bent closer to Lily, her eyes closing slowly. James wanted to turn away, he wanted to run, anything to not see it, but he stood, fascinated and horrified at once, as Remus's lips fell on Lily's.
And in that split second, raw, red-hot rage coursed through his veins. He wanted to tackle Remus to the ground and throttle him, but he stopped himself.
Because then the part of his brain that had been lying dormant for almost eighteen years awoke, and he realized the reason he had been so bothered by Selena's comments and the reason he had identified with the song Sirius had deemed "cheesy". The reason he would have given anything to be in Remus's place at that moment in time.
He loved Lily Evans.
- - - - - - - - -
Tempest: Well, James finally figured it out! Yeah! James is so gifted. This chapter was pretty long, huh? 14 pages, I think, on this Word program. The chapters are normally 6-7 pages. Not too long.
Did anyone notice my double-meaning names? This is probably gonna sound weird, but let's see if anyone can get them and what they mean! Write a review! Okay, tell me what you thought of this chapter, and I will start on chapter eleven straightaway!
8-03-07: This chapter has been revamped! Hope you enjoy it more than before. Also, today, just for fun, I Googled "colleen o'brian fanfiction" and found that someone published two stories in 2005 using Colleen as "Lily's petite blond friend". I'm flattered, except this person didn't give me any credit for coming up with Colleen in the first place. I never thought I'd have to say this, but if you want to use any of my characters in one of your fanfictions, go ahead, but give credit where credit is due...and tell me! I'd like to read it.