CHANGE

First, it was bright… a light that filled the windows with such intensity that those looking directly at it were blinded for several moments, before the sound followed… It was quiet… then there was the actual feeling as the explosion rocked the side of the castle, screams of fright and surprise and any number of other reasons were pulled from the throats of the younger students… cries for gods and parents and anyone else to save them from the impending horror.

From where he was standing, Harry could see the headmistress… a valkyrie of Nordic myths come to life… her gray streaked hair loose from its bun, the length blowing in the brimstone scented breeze that followed the volley as she stood over those in her charge. Her eyes blazed with the light of knowledge… knowledge that the end of the world was upon her and she would fight to her very last breath to protect the children.

Figures darted all around her… fallen friends. Several Weasley's could been seen scurrying around… memories of Molly's boggart come immediately to mind.

"Luna!" A voice cried in the distance. "Luna! Answer me…" The hunched figure of a student… the tattered remains of their Hogwarts uniform all that helped to identify him, knelt over the broken and bloody remains of Loony Luna Lovegood.

For a moment, Harry felt the beginning of tears… another life lost, another friend destroyed because of an egomaniacal wizard that had delusions of grandeur. Turning from the scene… only the faintest wisps of red hair showing from the person screaming for Luna to not leave him registered as the scene continued to unfold.

Nothing anywhere was clean. The debris from the walls being breached as well as the constant barrage of dark magics being cast over and over upon the weakening and slowly failing wards of the last sanctuary from the coming threat of darkness… it left a film… a sense of messiness about the castle. Filch would be livid for months, at least, if he had lived through the initial stages of the Deatheaters' attack. He was ignored by the huddled and freighted masses as he made his way out of the room… Minerva's final task her own. Harry could not help her here.

It was chaos everywhere. Around each corner, bodies lay strewn out, the telltale signs and remnants of wand fights left everywhere, each leaving behind a spatter of blood here or the fallen body of the loser there.

And through it all… Harry could not cry. No tears but for those that had just begun at seeing Luna's broken body… of all of the other bloodied faces he refused to put a name to, though he had recognized each and every one of them. What was wrong with him? Were these not his classmates? His teachers? His friends?

Gritting his teeth, he continued his lone trek through the castle… the fleeing figures of neither the younger students nor the evil faced attackers chasing after them enough to move Harry, to stir his spirit to force him into action. He ignored them just as he was ignored. He was only a visitor. It was not his purpose to participate… not yet. There was something here he was being shown.

His task was yet before him. Destiny had come calling.

As he made his way down the strangely still staircase, the reflection of metal where there should have been nothing pulled his eye to the darkness hidden by the shadows cast from the broken stairwell. Reaching the ground floor, Harry stepped coldly over the dead body of Colin Creevy. For a moment, the gloom from the direction he was searching seemed to thick, but eventually his eyes adjusted… allowing for the images to finally become clear.

Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, the last of the Marauders… the last links to his parents… both lay with eyes forever more unseeing, broken beyond all repair. Idly, Harry wiped at his dry eyes as he took in the scene… Wormtail's silver hand (a gift from his dark lord) had punched through Mooney's chest… the silver the primary weakness to werewolves. At least it looked that Remus had gotten one good shot to finish the job before he fell.

In the silence that surrounded him, Harry offered a brief prayer to a god that he didn't believe in… that.his parents and Sirius would meet him in the next life… just as he held to the fleeting hope that they would be there to welcome him with open arms once he, too, had fallen.

Nodding to himself, Harry moved through the hallways again, the body count rising with every direction that his gaze could look. Students of every year and every House lay where they fell, a perverted and macabre artistic grace to the unusual symmetry that seemed to be created. But for every student… for every point of light, there were the followers of darkness… masked and unmasked wizards and witches that had joined the dark side. They too lay defeated on the floor, though the price was too high in Harry's opinion.

He had to skirt around the Great Hall… the ceiling above having collapsed, whether intentional or not, had succeeded in burying what appeared to be several giants, more of the scum that had fallen for his empty promises and lies. He wondered at who might still be in the hall… whether they were alive or dead, but that still was not his concern. This was not what he was here to see.

As if by prompting, the doors leading out from the castle proper to the grounds outside opened… the sound of open warfare carried to his ear. The centaurs had joined the light, the forces under Tom were hard pressed… but their foe had not yet engaged them… Harry had not joined the fight. In another instance, he might have worried at the sounding explosions that continued to rock the castle, the fine dust falling everywhere.

No.

Harry ignored it all, his steps sure as he moved outside.

For a moment, he could almost fool himself into believing that all was well in the world… the sudden silence that seemed to fill the entire area… the lack of soldiers… no aurors or others flying around. No screams of pain or cries for mercy. No more loud booms or cracks of apparition. No. The world was just another sunny day… the sky clear with only a few wisps of clouds to draw away from such perfect weather… but as his eyes became focused under the noonday glare… he saw tat he had woken to hell.

"HARRY!"

The call finally drew him away from his study of the battle, albeit reluctantly, the itch to find his wand, the brother to Tom's own weapon, and join his brothers and sister in the horror he knew was still ongoing… it was almost too much of a lure to resist, but the voice continued calling for him, desperate and pleading…

Where was his love? Somewhere, she was alone… scared. He had to find her…

Fear finally gripped his heart as the tears finally fell, the cool wetness staining his dirt stained cheeks as he felt the core of his magic, an untouched reservoir that his mentor, Albus Dumbledore, had warned him of… the danger of letting loose before the day when it would be needed. Was today that day?

"HARRY…PLEASE!"

Annoyed, he looked around for the source of the voice…. The cry that seemed to refuse to let him find his heart's desire… the burden of his life almost too much to withstand life without her. With an exaggerated sigh, he moved down the field… the need to join the rising conflict was almost too much.

Wand in hand, he prepared to be what prophecy dictated he become…

"HARRY!"

The ice-cold water stole his breath, his lungs suddenly on fire as he jerked upright… his eyes wide and his muscles taut at the unexpected attack. Instinctively, he lifted his left hand to ward off any coming blows, his face protected, as he called his wand to his hand, the well of called magic at hand.

"Harry… no…" Tonks voice broke through his stupor, his eyes blinking… the darkness everywhere lending to the blurry world, his glasses somewhere else, as he took in a deep breath and tried to relax… even as Moody's drill of "constant vigilance" prevented him from trusting everything around him completely until he knew what the situation was.

"Do-Dora?"

There was a sigh of relief. "Harry… it's me… shhh… you're okay."

His glasses were suddenly thrust into his hand. He took a chance and wasted the moment to slide his glasses over his eyes, the world slowly regaining focus.

He was in Tonks' bedroom in the professor's wing of Hogwarts. The room was much like she was, in Harry's estimation and opinion: loud and colorful and completely haphazard. Nothing was where it should be, books on the floor and clothes thrown on the shelves. Other than the bed and the single photograph of the two of them together that he knew of framed and hanging by the door… the room looked like chaos.

Tonks, herself, was the only abnormality in the room. She still looked as she did before they'd finally fallen asleep… how long ago? He shook his head as he shivered, the water across his body barely warming… his legs caught up in the blankets, effectively having wrapped himself up.

Harry tried to give her a reassuring smile, failing miserably by the lack of a return smile from her. No. Her eyes were haunted, dark… even as they were a bright blue… a blue to match her hair.

"What…" He took a breath and tried again. "What happened?"

"You were in the middle of a nightmare. I tried waking you up, but I couldn't." It broke his heart at how small her voice sounded. "I wasn't sure what to do… you've never been like that before."

He sat up and opened his arms. Tonks let out a cry of anguish as she dove into him, her arms tightening around him as she finally broke down, the tears falling freely.

Upset that he'd scared her, he ran his hand through her hair, humming softly… a tune that he didn't consciously know, but one that his own mother had used to quiet him as a child. Harry held her, the tears that had only threatened to fall in his dream now falling freely as he kept her close.

"What happened?"

Harry took a breath… the moment of truth inside of him finally here. Whenever anyone else had ever asked him, he'd passed it off… Dumbledore the only one he'd ever felt comfortable enough to share the dreams with. Even Hermione had not known all of it, his desire to keep her safe from the entirety of his damnation, destiny linking him with the greatest source of evil currently known to man.

Could he tell her?

"Harry?"

Kissing her on top of her head, Harry bared his soul. He started with the one from last night. Her eyes when she'd dared to meet his gaze had been full of anguish and sorrow, but she'd remained quiet. And his heart felt lighter… so he asked if he could tell her more… and she'd nodded, so he told her of them all. Hundreds of visions and nightmares and dreams. Once started, it was a confession, a penance to somehow remove the blight that marred his being.

Harry told her of the first dream… of Voldemort, a name he'd not yet even known, whispering promises of power in the darkness. Harry told her of seeing Ron destroyed… drowning, his being stopped in the Second Task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament… Ron's bloated corpse rising to the lake's surface. Of failing Ginny, Tom Riddle's return in his second year. Of it all.

Breaking down, he's even told her of the constant nightmares for two years of Tom capturing Hermione and having his minions violating her, braking her… her hoarse cries at not saving him lasting for days… of holding it all inside.

Dawn's light peeked in through the window by the time he was done… their positions reversed, Tonks now cradling him, soothing him as she brushed his hair away from his face so that she could see him… all of him, laid bare before her.

It took her breath away and made her love him all the more. It all came down to the fact that he was scared… scared of losing. But more than that… he was terrified of losing everyone that he loved. To herself, she pledged to never let him feel that way.

"How can you stand it?

He smiled then, the life and sparkle once again returning to the emerald green of his eyes. "I'm not sure that I ever did before… I just had to."

I can't ask… but I have to know. "What's changed?"

He'd smiled like a child then… a look she'd never seen on Harry Potter's face before.

"You."

O X O X O X O X O X O

The blonde haired girl ignored the lingering looks from the boys that she passed as she continued her way deeper into the library, the object of her search still eluding her. She chastised herself for having chosen the library, of all places, to be the last place she looked, but she had honestly believed that somehow Hermione Granger would have taken advantage of the unseemly warm weather outside and would be enjoying the sunshine.

A fool's hope, to be sure.

At turning from the last of the ceiling high bookshelves, Lavender turned towards the restricted section of Hogwarts library. Sure enough, in the corner by the large bay window, the dark-haired girl sat surrounded by a plethora of books and scrolls, her head down while her hand busily scratched away on the parchment in front of her.

"Hi, stranger." She called, her hand waving at the dust that seemed to permeate the air all around her.

Hermione looked up then, her eyes wide in the darkness, and watched her approach. Lavender ignored the look of annoyance that flitted across her face… chalking it up to being surprised and not of actually trying to avoid her… the fact that Lavender and Hermione had not spoken in the past few days just a coincidence.

Choosing to remain oblivious to the truth, lying to herself, Lavender forced a smile. "Where have you been? There's talk of a House picnic over by the lake and it would be nice if the Head Girl could attend."

She watched as Hermione blew some of her hair out of her face. Setting her quill down, she stretched quietly before turning her attention back. "Maybe for lunch… there's so much to do."

"Lunch?" Lavender laughed. "Lunch was over an hour ago. This is an afternoon thing."

"I missed lunch?" To reiterate the point, her stomach chose that moment to growl loudly. She watched as Hermione blushed before nodding, her eyes scanning the chaos on the table before her.

"I'm sure since this area is in the restricted section that no one will mess with anything."

Absently, Hermione stood and sighed, her eyes moving out the window. Lavender patiently waited as the other girl brushed at her clothes before finally dragging herself away from whatever she had been working on so diligently.

"Ready?"

Hermione nodded. "Yeah… let's go."

Smiling in satisfaction, Lavender walked alongside Hermione out of the dark, musty library and led her through the castle and out to the grounds. At any other time, Lavender might have been worried that Hermione was so quiet… barely saying a word, but she had realized how tough the school year had been for her.

Forcing a grin whenever Hermione glanced her way, she considered how strange Hogwarts was… the threat of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named threatening the very existence of their way of life… murders and hate crimes, purebloods versus everyone else at an all time high, and here they were… still upset over boyfriends and classes and grades.

Looking sideways at Hermione, she wondered how Harry had ever dealt with it.

As if by even thinking his name, the young man in question came into view, slightly away and apart from where everyone else was sitting… he looked deep in thought.

She felt Hermione stiffen slightly before turning to look at her. "I want to go say hello to Harry."

Lavender nodded, proud of herself that she didn't roll her eyes, and then changed direction along with Hermione so that they could pass closer by where Harry was sitting. Drawing nearer, Lavender felt her eyes widen as she found Harry to be sitting quietly along one of the stone walls that decorated the lower regions of the grounds away from the castle.

She sighed to herself at the scene… as she could very easily understand Hermione's obsession with him. Sure, he was possibly the one destined to save everything from You-Know Who, the Daily Prophet's heralded Chosen One. He'd already faced death so many times that he had to carry himself with an air of confidence that no seventeen-year-old boy should… not and actually be able to back it up. Excluding the fact that he was a hero… he was absolutely scrumptious. Lavender felt her own mouth go dry at the picturesque image that they had come across.

Harry was in dark jeans… but worn enough times that they had begun to fade a bit along the hem. His long sleeved shirt was a dark green, almost black… but for the neon gold writing for the Wyked Sister across the chest. Ink black hair, longer than she normally liked on men but well suited for him, caught the afternoon sun perfect, the reflection adding highlights that no charm or muggle bottle could ever capture… but it was the deep look of concentration, his lips moving silently as those jeweled green eyes barely contained behind those glasses scanned the book he held in his lap…

"Hey…" Hermione broke the perfection of the moment.

Lavender watched as Harry lifted his head, his eyes alighting across each of them before he smiled… that half smile that tugged only the right side of his mouth. She watched as he casually glanced one last time at the page he'd been reading before setting the book carefully down on the wall next to him.

Harry nodded to both of them. "I'm surprised Lavender was able to get you out of the library. I'd have lost the bet with Ginny if I'd had to choose."

Both girls grinned as Harry stood, his thin form suddenly seeming so much more. Lavender was suddenly without a thought in her head, unable to think of a single thing to say.

It was just as well… this was Hermione's territory… dealing with Harry.

"I'm actually surprised you're out here." She smiled when she said it, her eyes dancing over him, drinking in the sight of him. "Figured there was training or studying or something that you'd be doing. Even flying."

Harry had laughed. "Ron tried, but even flying seems like work today, you know." They ignored the grimace at mentioning Ron. "The idea of a book and the sun was just too much to pass up… beside, I think Dora… uhm… Professor Tonks said something about a pop quiz in class next week and I don't want to give her a chance to flunk me."

"Right… like she'd not give you a passing grade." Lavender regretted her words the moment they left her mouth. Her face flared red, as she glanced between Harry and Hermione. Harry's face became withdrawn, cold, while Hermione just shook her head. "Sorry. That came out wrong… I meant…"

"Anyway," Hermione gracefully interrupted. "It's good to see you studying. NEWT's will be here before you know it… and its weird not studying with either you or Ron. I'm used to having to beat you over the head with the books, praying that osmosis will seep into that thick skull of yours."

"Yeah." Harry's voice seemed wistful. "I miss that sometimes, too… except the beatings. Never was much into that sort of thing."

Were they flirting?

Hermione stepped closer to Harry, her face remaining calm… a fact she was very happy with. "We do have a study group, Harry… I've told you about it before. You are welcome to join in. And I promise…" Hermione giggled. "No book beatings unless you need it."

He smiled. "We'll see… I still have a lot of things to look through… about… well, you know."

She nodded. Lavender just smiled, knowing that there were things going on that she couldn't be a part of. It was one of the facts that she'd had to accept early on when she and Hermione became friends. There were always parts of the Golden Trio that mere outsiders were never going to understand. Even now, it seemed.

"Well… we're going to join the picnic." Hermione smiled softly. "Did you need anything?"

Lavender almost died of shock when Harry turned around and picked up his book. "How about I join you lovely ladies. Is that okay?"

Hermione flashed a smile that made the sun look dull. "Sure. Whatever you want."

O X O X O X O X O X O

Inside the castle, Tonks grinned softly as she watched from the window in the headmistress' office as Harry walked towards the picnic area. She hated that she couldn't join him at the moment, to spend a carefree Sunday afternoon with the love of her life, but the Order has need of her services… and anything that she could do to make the world even a minute part safer for her Harry was worth it.

Thrilled to the ends of her toes that she felt no jealousy, no worry in regards to Harry spending time with Hermione now… secure in their love for one another, especially after he'd finally opened himself up to her as he had to no one before, Tonks watched the retreating figure of the man she loved.

"I'm sorry that this came up." Minerva offered from behind her.

Turning, she looked at the older witch and current leader of the Order of the Phoenix. "No. Its okay. I know that I've not been the most reliable Order member for you lately… Harry's needed me… I've needed him. But we're at a good place right now… and if I can help, then I'll do whatever I can."

The relief in her eyes was evident. "Thank you, Nymphadora… I would not normally ask, but…"

Tonks waved her hand as she moved away from the window to sit down in the chair opposite of where McGonagall was sitting. "So… what's the mission?"

"Kingsley has discovered a pub in lower London… off the… normal path, shall we say. We think that we can get a spy in there, learn about what he has planned, but normal appearance charms and uses of polyjuice potions have been ineffective…"

"But a metamorphmagus could do it."

She nodded. "Yes."

Tonks sighed. "When do I need to go?"

"And here's where you're going to be upset." The headmistress admitted. "We've got a safe house that is waiting for you even as we speak."

"Now?" She couldn't help but blurt it out. "You want me to go now?"

"Yes. And worse… no one can know that you've left and I can't say when you'll be back."

Tonks stood again, pacing across the small office. "But what about Harry? I can't just leave… he trusts that I'll be here… and there's the horocrux…"

"Nymphadora." Minerva called. Possibly the last living person other than her parents who she allowed to get away calling her by her name. "Nymphadora… I know that it's asking a lot, but we need to find out what's being planned. No one has any clue of what's going on."

"But…"

"I'll inform Mister Pott… Harry. I'll let him know."

Tonks laughed, her eyes dark. "He won't be happy. You know that, right?"

"Let me deal with Harry… I need for you to focus on the mission at hand. I wouldn't ask, but we're running out of time…"

When the younger witch remained silent, Minerva leaned forward. "You'll have plenty of back up. There are several aurors, all that you know and trust, plus several of the Order that you can call upon at any time."

Sighing, she closed her eyes and put her face in her hands. Forgive me, Harry… "Okay. I'll do it."