Change of Heart
By Tempest Break

Disclaimer: Don't own; don't sue. ¿Comprende?

Summary: James and Lily are finally together, but does Lily actually like James, or is she just going out with him for his sake? James vows to make her love him like he loves her, but he'll have to work hard to make Lily have a change of heart.

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Chapter Twenty-One: Like I Love You?

James fell back with a sigh onto the couch in the Head Tower, purposely nearly sitting on top of Lily. Lily gently shoved him off her and kept reading her book, The Dark Arts Outsmarted.

James eyed her dubiously. "You know, Lily," he said, "when I bought you that book, I thought it would help our relationship, not destroy it."

"Yes, James," said Lily, not looking at him.

He looked at her still. "Not destroy it," he repeated.

She turned another page.

"Which it, ironically, seems to be doing a good job of," he remarked.

"Yes, James."

James was sorely tempted to snatch her book away from her, but he remembered the last time he had, and one does not lightly forget cracked glasses and a sprained pinky finger. He grimaced at the thought, but then he smiled – Lily would have killed if anyone else had taken it.

James was pleased by the smallest things.

"Well, what's it about, Lily?" asked James, still trying to communicate with his girlfriend.

Lily only turned the page and continued reading.

"Lily, Lily, Liiilyyy," pleaded James. "At least read some of it to me."

"Okay, James," said Lily, finally looking him in the eye. "You want me to read to you? Here you are: 'And then Lily took out her machine gun and shot her boyfriend for interrupting her reading time, which left lots of blood and guts pouring out in a big, bloody, steaming pile. The end.'" Lily returned to her book.

"Ooh, blood and guts! Sounds like my kind of book!" James grinned goofily.

Lily smothered a smile. "You're impossible," she said, with not a hint of the frustration that would have laced the comment a few months earlier.

"I was going for 'adorable'," said James, "but close enough." He leaned over Lily's book and kissed her, as he had done so many times.

But he had not expected her to respond. Her fingers brushed his cheek, and her lips moved against his. James nearly jumped from the shock it afforded him, but he caught himself – who knew how long Lily's romantic mood would last? – and kissed her even more heartily.

When he felt Lily close her book and shove it off the couch to accommodate James more fully, he actually was briefly worried. He pulled away for a second and got out a breathless, "What are you – ?" before Lily grabbed him and gave him such a searing kiss that he forgot all worry – in fact, he was quite sure he'd forgotten his own name at that point.

As James slipped one hand around to the back of Lily's neck, he could not help but wonder what had brought on this burst of affection from Lily. Not that there had been any shortage of hugs and kisses over their time as boyfriend and girlfriend, but it was usually James who was the aggressor. Lily was much more passive in her displays of affection. Now, though… now James started at the feel of Lily's hands gripping his shoulders tightly as she held him against her.

James didn't know if he should risk it or not. The last time he'd tried, Lily had pulled away and blushed, saying she was uncomfortable and that she'd always thought it was kind of gross, French-kissing. James didn't know where Lily had gotten that idea from, but he did know he needed to change it – and now seemed as good a time as ever.

He slipped his tongue out a little and tentatively traced Lily's lips with it. He felt her take a sharp intake of breath, and he cringed inwardly, preparing himself for an abrupt end to best five minutes of his life.

But then Lily's lips parted beneath his. He could hardly believe his luck. He mentally shook his head at himself. How he had been humbled by her, to count himself lucky at making out on a couch.

But he was making out with Lily Evans on a couch – and that made all the difference.

- - - - -

Remus Lupin sat in a corner of the library by himself, accompanied only by the lantern he'd brought and a small stack of books next to him on the table. Each was about Muggle culture, illustrating the incredible ability of Muggles to adapt to life without magic. It was amazing, really, what they had done; they had created things such as television, video games, and the telephone, which Remus's report was supposed to be about.

However, these books had all been ignored for the one sitting open in front of Remus. The title of this book – Pureblood's Poison: The Epidemic and the Aftermath.

Remus had always had a sneaking suspicion that this was the illness that plagued Selena, but he'd thought, No. It couldn't be. It kills within a week, and she's been at Hogwarts for seven years.

He'd been so stupid.

Remus and Selena never had a romance; they were the watchers, not the doers. But they'd understood each other better than anyone else in the world. They'd connected on so many levels. Remus had felt like he'd found his other half, or at least his soul-mate.

And he'd lost her so quickly.

All the nights of staying up late, just talking or sitting in silence – some of his best memories were, oddly, of not talking with Selena. There was something just so amiable about silence between them. He couldn't describe it.

But he remembered it… oh, how he remembered it… and it tore him apart, from the inside out.

Remus had never told Selena about his disease, and she'd never told him about hers. They had never spoken about such things. It was just another point on which they connected. It brought them even closer.

And watching James and Lily, and Sirius and Colleen – they'd talked about them often enough. Both had known nearly from the start that James and Lily were destined for each other – they were so completely different, one such the perfect complement to the other. But Sirius and Colleen – they were so similar and so excruciatingly perfect for one another. Selena had been more convinced of it than Remus; she had insisted over and over that they would be happier than either had ever been if they fell in love. He shook his head in memory of her last request of Colleen. Of course Selena would use any opportunity to get them together.

Remus regretted so many things in life. Wandering stupidly in the forest surrounding the Lupins' cabin so many years ago and being bitten by Fenrir Greyback was one of them. Coming close to attacking Severus Snape – however loathsome he was – the previous year was another. But he found himself regretting most that he did not tell Selena all the things he now wished he could have. One thing in particular – and even now he wasn't sure as to exactly what he would have meant, had he said it. But he knew he should have told Selena, "I love you."

- - - - -

James's skin was on fire – or at least that was what it felt like. Lily scalded him with the slightest brush of her fingertips, and what she was doing was hardly slightly brushing with her fingertips. Somehow the tie around his collar had been loosed, and the top three buttons of his crisp, white shirt had magically come undone. Lily's hands worked blindly on the fourth button.

She still kissed James with wild abandon. His one hand was tangled in her hair, while the other gripped her waist as he tried not to crush her beneath his weight. He'd long ago given up worrying about scaring her – she seemed quite fearless tonight – and he kissed her with every ounce of passion he had.

But her work on the buttons of his shirt worried him a bit. He really didn't want to stop this, but going too far was not exactly the best idea at this point. He broke away from her briefly, looking her in the eyes – oh, those eyes – as he took her hands from his shirt and set them away. "Lily, I don't really think now's the best – " he began.

"I know, I know," she said impatiently, throwing her arms around his neck. She brought him back down to her and kissed him again.

To say James was relieved was an understatement. He'd been afraid Lily would never do anything like this again with him, afraid that she'd be too embarrassed or disgusted by the thought of them being together like that. Although he fully intended that to happen – eventually. Just not tonight.

Suddenly he realized he had to tell her something. He'd been thinking about it since that night at the Yule Ball – the night he'd realized it. He broke away for the last time from Lily. She opened her beautiful eyes and looked at him, puzzled. Her hair was mussed, and her face was flushed pink with exhilaration or something like it. She'd never looked more radiant in James's eyes.

"Lily," he breathed heavily.

She swallowed and blinked at him expectantly. "Yes, James?" she asked, breathless.

"Lily, I love you," James confessed.

He felt her muscles tense beneath him on the couch. Her green eyes widened.

"Y-You love me?" she echoed. "Love?"

"Yes!" James said with a smile. It was such an exalting feeling to say those words to her. It felt so right, so incredible, so –

"James, you can't love me."

James's heart plummeted through the floor. "What?" he asked.

"You can't possibly love me," she said, not meeting his gaze. "We're too young. It's impossible." She shook her head. "What you feel for me is lust or infatuation or something, James. Not love."

James frowned. He was surprised that a witch as intelligent as Lily could be so mistaken. "Lily, I'm not stupid," he said carefully. "I'm not some player who just says that to girls. I'm not... I'm not Sirius, for crying out loud!" His voice had taken a careening note at that. He took a deep, shuddering breath and said, in a more even voice, "I know what I feel. I love you. I'm in love with you, Lily, and I always will be."

Lily's emerald eyes brimmed with shimmering tears. "James..." she murmured.

With some difficulty, James flipped the two of them around so Lily rested on top of his chest. His arms encircled her, hugging her to him. "Don't cry, Lily," he whispered into her hair. "I love you. Don't cry. I can't stand it."

Lily sniffed into his shoulder.

They lay there for some time before Lily stopped crying. James stroked her hair comfortingly.

Finally, James asked the question he'd been burning to ask. "Lily... Lily, do you love me?"

There was a short silence, before Lily muttered something into his shoulder.

"What? I didn't hear you," said James.

Lily raised her tear-streaked face from James's chest and looked him in the eye. "I said," she told him, between sniffs, "I don't love you." And then she broke down in a sob, clutching James for all she was worth.

- - - - - - - - -

Tempest: Wait, wait, wait! Before you tar and feather me, let me just tell you that I'm out of school and can write much more now, so you won't have to wait much longer for the next chapter. Also, in the next chapter, Lily's answer will be discussed further. Please don't murder me!! Oh, and before you all ask why the crap I made Lily say that... I don't know. I like to read things where Lily kind of breaks James's heart. I know that sounds very cruel of me, but believe me, there will be a "happily ever after" for them, until, you know... Voldemort kills 'em. Now for some reviews!!!

To Cherry: Exploding Snap... yes, a great mystery. I'm not quite sure myself, which is why I didn't try to describe the game. I just assumed that it's something you can win money off of. Also, yes, I saw the new Harry Potter movie yesterday. It sucked. I was very disappointed. The third book was my favorite and they just butchered it, or at least the part at the end in the Shrieking Shack. And finally, no I'm not Japanese, although that would be cool... I do know a lot of Japanese, though, of which I'm very proud. Frozen in Motion: Lily's taking Muggle Studies for the same reason Hermione does: she finds it interesting to see the Muggle world from the Wizarding point of view. SexxyPadfootMoonyProngs and BrainiacGirl: Well, here's your James/Lily romance. I had been thinking the same thing, actually. Sum1strange: Haha, yes. I'm writing that story just for you. Well, "eventually" means when I finish Change of Heart and get about four chapters into Doublemint Gum, which could take a while. Just keep reviewing this one, and I'll have the motivation to write the next one. XD orligirl: You always ask good questions! This chapter actually takes place on my birthday: February 21st. And to spotted kitten, rockersbb13, Stepha-Lah, DracozFallenAngel, Sammy Solo, Silvercrystal77, vamperfly, jaderadcliffe, and everyone else: thank you for reviewing and saying you loved it. It really means a lot to me, you guys.

So, anyway... I'll see you at the next installment, which should be relatively soon. And I hoped you all liked the little bit of Remus, because there's gonna be more of him next chapter, or that's what I've planned. Buhbye and review, review, review!!

8-16-07: This chapter has been revamped! Hope you enjoy it more than before.