Change of Heart
By Tempest Break

Disclaimer: Argh, do I have to do these all the time?? Grrr... You'd think twenty times would be enough, but noooo. I still don't own Harry Potter. Believe me. I'm not lying.

Summary: James and Lily are finally together, but does Lily actually like James, or is she just going out with him for his sake? James vows to make her love him like he loves her, but he'll have to work hard to make Lily have a change of heart.

- - - - - - - - -

Chapter Twenty-Two: Mystery Man

"I don't love you."

The words echoed cruelly in James's head. She doesn't love me. She doesn't love me. She doesn't love me.

James was silent. Lily, ironically, was the one sobbing; James's shirt was soaked where her head lay. He stroked her back dazedly, trying to comfort her. It did not even occur to him that he was the one who needed to be comforted. Lily had just rejected him.

Well, not exactly, James's more practical side argued. She is your girlfriend. She just doesn't love you like you love her.

Oh, shut up, you prick, James growled inwardly. Can't you see I'm beyond reason? He traced circles on Lily's back as her shoulders heaved with sobs.

It took him a few minutes to realize that Lily had been whispering things into the crook of his neck all that time. He tried to hear what she was saying, but it was rather muffled. "… sorry… I'm just not sure… I'm so sorry… I really like you, James, I just… sorry..." she cried into his neck.

"Wait, what?" asked James, snapping out of his slight daze. "What did you just say?"

Lily raised her head and looked James in the face, her nose red, her hair mussed, her eyes bleary from crying. "I said that I'm sorry, that I really like you a lot, but I'm not sure if it's love. Because, well, we're really young, James! I don't understand how you can be so sure of your feelings for me. It's probably just, you know" – she flushed – "lust. We are teenagers, after all."

"Look, Lily," James said seriously, propping himself up on his elbows and looking her deep in her startlingly green eyes. "I know you may not be comfortable with the idea that I love you, but I do know for a fact that it's not just lust. I mean, yeah, lust is part of it" – he grinned in spite of the situation – "I won't lie to you. The past half hour or so was pretty... steamy..." At Lily's satisfactory blush, James continued, "But that wasn't what made me say it! Believe me, if it were lust and I only wanted to get you in my bed, you'd already be in that room, screaming my name for all it's worth."

"Nice, James," Lily muttered, still bright scarlet.

"What? I'm just telling the truth." James smirked. "But seriously, Lily. I love you. I have for a long time." He brushed some of her hair away from her cheek. "I just haven't wanted to admit it to myself."

Lily looked like she was about to cry again, so James smiled reassuringly and said, "So you really like me a lot, huh?"

She beamed back at him, though her eyes shone with tears. "Yup," she affirmed, nodding once.

"Well, that's halfway there, isn't it? More than halfway," James said optimistically. "In fact, you're almost to the finish line! And if you win, you get the best prize."

"Oh, yeah? What's that?" asked Lily.

"The one and only James Potter!"

Lily laughed. Then a wistful look appeared on her face. "When Selena was still alive," she said thoughtfully, with a new, different sadness, "she once told me that you were a vibrant and passionate person, with more sophistication than you would have people know and with a bigger heart than anyone could." Lily smiled. "I think that's you in a nutshell."

"Yes, and a rather small one, at that," joked James. "I'd like to think I'm a bit less transparent!"

"Well, you're not exactly mysterious, James."

"Oh, I'm mysterious," James assured her.

"You are, huh?" Lily said with an ill-hidden grin.

"Oh, yeah," said James. "I'm the most mysterious person you'll ever meet. I'm an effing mystery, I'm so mysterious. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that I'm as mysterious as… Mystery… Man!"

Lily laughed so hard she had to clutch her aching sides. "Oh... Oh my goodness, James..." James watched her giggle with a pleased smile on his face. Because, he realized, as funny as Colleen was, and as hilarious as Sirius could be, Lily only laughed that hard at him, James David Potter, and that was enough for him.

- - - - -

February finally passed, the shortest month of the year taking the longest time to end, and the Marauders, Lily, and Colleen were flung head first into March. James and Lily, despite the night in the common room, or perhaps because of it, were closer than they had ever been – Peter once remarked grimly that Lily would have to have James surgically removed if she ever wanted to be alone.

Sirius and Colleen also had a more cemented relationship than previously, although nothing like James and Lily's. Theirs was much more passionate and fiery. Once James and Peter had been unwilling witnesses to a small tiff between the two of them, which had escalated quickly and ended with Sirius grabbing Colleen and snogging her senseless. "Merlin, you pervs," Peter had muttered, "get a freaking room."

Remus was quieter nowadays, since Selena's death. It had affected them all, really, especially Lily and Colleen, but Remus dwelled on it longer than the rest of them. James was not sure why this was. He knew Lily was still very delicate about Selena's death, but she preferred to remember the good things that had happened rather than the actual night of the incident. Remus might just be reliving the tragedy of Selena's death over and over, but James didn't really think of Remus as a wallowing type of guy. So James was left in bafflement as to Remus's recluse.

The person James worried most about was Peter. James had been noticing more and more that Peter felt slighted by the other Marauders, what with James and Sirius having girlfriends and Remus's sudden withdrawal from conversation. The mousy boy had been grouchy and easily irritated, especially by displays of affection of the two couples. James and Sirius had discussed Peter's aggravation, and they tried to include him in anything they could, but he still was upset when James left to walk Lily to her next class, or Sirius opted to spend time with Colleen rather than play a game of chess against Peter.

Such was the situation when Dumbledore sent a house-elf to the Gryffindor table at dinner with a message for Lily and Colleen.

"What's it say?" asked Sirius as Lily broke the seal on the piece of folded parchment.

Her eyes quickly scanned the paper, and then she handed it to Colleen. "It says Dumbledore desires our presence in his office. There is a visitor concerning Selena who wants to speak to us," said Lily.

Colleen shot Lily a glance. "I'll bet you anything it's Endymion."

"That's a bet only a fool would take," Lily muttered, taking the letter back. She turned to the anxious house-elf and said, "Tell Headmaster Dumbledore that we'll be up after we finish eating."

"Thank you, missus," squeaked the house-elf, and he disappeared.

"Who's Endymion?" asked Sirius of the two girls, who suddenly seemed to have no appetite.

"Selena's dear old daddy," Colleen muttered, her chin resting in her hand. Remus looked up from his plate for the first time that night.

"Is there something wrong with his being here?" James inquired, noting Remus's sudden interest.

Lily sighed. "Not really," she said. "He's a nice enough guy. But he is the one who made Selena take the unicorn's blood for all those years."

"Yeah," said Colleen, spearing a sausage with her fork, "just because he missed his wife, who Selena was supposedly the spitting image of."

"So you can understand that we're a bit hesitant to speak to him," Lily told James. She sighed. "Selena's death was horrible enough without having to speak to her father about it."

"Do you want us to come along with you?" James asked. Sirius nodded to show his support.

Colleen shook her head. "Nah," she said. "We know how to handle Endymion. Besides, Dumbledore only asked Lily and me there." She pushed her food around on her plate idly and then finally pushed her plate away. "I can't eat anymore of this, Lily. Let's just go." The two girls stood, said goodbye to the Marauders, and left the Great Hall.

Sirius watched them go. "Well, they weren't particularly excited, were they?"

Suddenly Remus stood from the table. The other boys looked up at him inquiringly. "I'm going to go finish up my project," Remus said vaguely, and he quickly left the other Marauders.

"But he didn't even take his book bag," Peter observed.

James suspiciously watched Remus's back until he disappeared from sight.

- - - - -

Lily and Colleen walked in silence to Dumbledore's office. Finally they reached the stone gargoyle and stood there for a few seconds at a complete loss. Neither knew the password to the Headmaster's office.

"Er..." Colleen trailed off before the gargoyle. "Professor Dumbledore asked us here..."

The gargoyle glared back at the girls, motionless.

"Well, this – " Colleen began, turning back to Lily. Suddenly the gargoyle came to life and ambled to the side, revealing a door. Colleen blinked. "Well," she said. "Never mind."

"Thank you, Mr. Gargoyle," said Lily as she and Colleen passed it and stepped on the rising staircase.

"Interesting password, isn't it?" muttered Colleen over her shoulder. " 'Well, this.' What will Dumbledore think of next?"

Neither of the girls had previously been in the office, so its cluttered state surprised them. Lily had expected it to be much more organized, as Dumbledore was such a genius. The room was completely full to the brim with books, and Lily was just itching to open one, but the sight of Endymion Silver stopped her.

Endymion was a tall man who had once been very handsome, with his thick auburn hair and sharp blue eyes. Now, though, with his eyes bloodshot and his face haggard, he seemed much older than his mere forty years of age. Endymion was strict; he had served in the army as a young wizard and still believed in those ideals – at the sight of him, the story rushed back to Lily. Upon meeting his wife, however, Endymion had softened – Selena's mother was the only person who could do that to him – and he had loved her on sight. They were married within the year, Selena on the way a few months after the marriage. But after Selena's birth, she had gotten progressively weaker and had finally wasted away, leaving Endymion a destroyed man. So he grasped Selena tightly to him. Her diagnosis of Pureblood's Poison was nearly the final straw for the man, and Lily could almost – almost – understand why he'd done it, although she had never liked the knowledge.

Lily had always been a bit afraid of him, but now, looking at the poor, devastated man, she felt only sympathy.

"Lily. Colleen." Endymion smiled weakly at them.

"Hello, Mr. Silver, sir," said Colleen with a glance at Lily. The both of them had always been very respectful towards him; he'd practically commanded it. Now, however, he seemed to need support more than anything.

Dumbledore stepped forward from behind his desk and gave Lily and Colleen a benign smile. "Ah, Ms. Evans, Ms. O'Brian, you've found your way here," he observed.

"Hello, Professor Dumbledore," Lily and Colleen chorused.

"Well, I suppose I ought to leave you three alone," said Dumbledore easily, picking up a rather large tome and nodding goodbye to Lily, Colleen, and Endymion.

Upon the shutting of the door, an ear-shattering silence descended upon the room. Lily shifted her weight from one foot to the other anxiously, looking anywhere but at Endymion.

Finally, the man sighed and sank back into one of Dumbledore's chairs. He covered his face with his hand and muttered, "Were you two there when she – ?"

Lily and Colleen exchanged glances, and Lily said hesitantly, "Yes, sir, we were."

He chuckled a little. "Oh, it's okay, Lily. No need to be formal with me anymore." He exhaled. "I don't need a subordinate; I need a friend."

Lily's heart went out to him at that sentence. He looked so miserable sitting in the armchair, his face covered by his hand.

"So you were there," he said. "Did she say anything? Anything at all?"

"She said several things," Lily answered. "She told us each separate things meant for us. She said... she said what you had done was wrong. Keeping her alive by killing all those unicorns. She said it was wrong." Lily cringed a little at how Endymion might take it.

But the man only nodded sadly. "Yes, I know now it was wrong," he said quietly. "But I had lost her mother so early. Selena was like another chance, she was just like her. You must understand, they were so similar – "

"But Selena was Selena!" Colleen burst out. "She wasn't her mother. They weren't the same person!" She quieted, staring at her shoes. "I'm sorry, sir."

"No, no, Colleen," Endymion reassured her, laughing a little to himself. Lily realized that laughter was the only thing that was keeping him sane. "It's fine, really. I know Selena was her own person. I regret not realizing it sooner..."

Lily looked sadly at the man. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Silver," she told him. "I don't know what to say."

He looked up at her. Unshed tears glistened in his eyes. "You don't have to say anything, Lily," he answered, his voice cracking. "Just knowing you and Colleen are here is enough for me."

- - - - -

"Why, Mr. Lupin," said Dumbledore pleasantly as he closed his office door behind him. "Is there something you needed?"

"No, sir," answered Remus, startled and, for once, looking very much like the little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"I'm sure Ms. Evans and Ms. O'Brian will be out soon," said Dumbledore. "Why don't you go back to the Great Hall and finish your dinner?"

Remus took a breath and tried to gather up some courage. "Actually, Professor," he said, "I was hoping to speak to Selena's father."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled knowingly, and Remus suspected the Headmaster had known all along that was what Remus wanted. "Well, Mr. Lupin," he said, "he will be leaving in his carriage directly after speaking to your two friends. Why don't you go and await him there?"

"Th-thank you, Headmaster!" stuttered Remus.

"Not a problem, Remus," replied Dumbledore with a small smile.

As Remus hurried down the corridor, he thought to himself that there was no better man in the world than Albus Dumbledore.

- - - - -

Remus did not have long to wait before he caught sight of a tall, tired man trudging across the Hogwarts grounds. He was not what Remus had expected in Selena's father, but he knew on sight that it was he.

The man approached the carriage at which Remus stood, only giving the boy one weary look before speaking to his driver. Remus realized he would have to initiate the conversation.

"Um, excuse me, sir," he said.

The man looked at Remus as though he wished he hadn't spoken to him. Remus recognized the look as one he'd given several people recently.

"Sorry, sir, but you're Selena's father, aren't you?"

The man's eyes brightened faintly at the mention of his daughter's name. "Yes. Yes, I am," he said. "My name is Endymion Silver. And you?"

"I'm Remus Lupin," Remus told him. "I was Selena's... good friend..."

Endymion studied Remus with more interest than before. "I've never seen you before," he said. He paused. "But you seem nearly as pained as I am."

"I'm so sorry," Remus blurted out. He had had so many things he'd wanted to say to Endymion, but now he could think of nothing. He finally decided that the man would want him to tell him anything about his daughter. "I just became friends with Selena this year," he spoke, not quite sure of where he was going. "I'm glad I did. She was an amazing person." He could tell Endymion was listening to him raptly. "She and I would sometimes stay up late in the Gryffindor common room, reading or talking… Those are some of my favorite memories."

Endymion watched Remus speak with a near-smile on his face. When it seemed that Remus was finished, he said, "Thank you, Remus. I appreciate your telling me this. It makes it so much easier to talk to her friends." He opened the door to the carriage and climbed inside. "Goodbye, Remus. It was nice to meet you," he said out the window.

Then the driver pulled the carriage away from Remus, the clip-clop of the horses' hooves sounding against the cobblestones. Remus felt as though he'd passed up an opportunity he would never get again. Suddenly he started running towards the carriage. "Mr. Silver!" he shouted. "Mr. Silver!"

The man stuck his head out of the window once more and looked at Remus. "Yes, Remus?"

"I loved Selena!" Remus cried, the words nearly exploding forth from his lips.

Endymion smiled at Remus and said, "And I'm sure she loved you, too."

- - - - - - - - -

Dedicated to Max Sadler and Mark Tiner, may they both rest in peace.

Tempest: Well, I hope that left you guys feeling rather warm and fuzzy on the inside. Or puzzled. Or something. As long as it seemed a bit profound, it's fine with me. Now, what did this mean? Did it mean that Remus was in love with Selena, or that he merely cared greatly about her? This is a question I shall never answer you, as that was the closure of Selena's plot. I hope you guys liked it. I felt the need to write something continuing her story, as two boys from my school, Max Sadler and Mark Tiner, died in a car crash on Memorial Day weekend, and it completely stunned the entire school—nay, the town. Anyway, I'll quickly answer some reviews and then scamper off to bed.

I got lots of reviews since posting the last chapter! I've gotten over 700! Thanks you guys! Sum1strange: Haha, thanks for the motivation. I'll get right on the next story, after I finish this one. To Cherry: Nope, not Asian at all. I'm actually Polish/German/Irish. I just have a strange connection with Japanese stuff. I love it! Mortari: I'm glad you won't kill me! Ruth3, natalieb, and Niux: Glad you guys liked that I didn't have Lily say she loved James—they'd only been going out for a week, after all! And Individual-9086: About my Spanish... Well, seeing as it's not my native language, I'm not quite sure how I'm coming off, but whatever...

8-16-07: This chapter has been revamped! Hope you enjoy it more than before.