Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
The colonel opened his eyes, ready to start the day. To his left, Sheppard glared at him. "Did you really have to set the alarm to go off at four in the morning?"
"Do you know how behind we are in paperwork? I mean, I haven't file one field report since I returned to Atlantis. Not to mention performance assessments and approving the new crew list from the Daedalus--"
"You know, for the first time, I'm actually happy this whole thing happened. If it gets me out of doing that paperwork," mumbled John before he put a pillow over his head.
"Just don't make me look like a fool," warned Sheppard.
The colonel looked offended. "I think out of all of us, I am the best candidate for getting all the paperwork done as efficiently as possible."
"Whatever. Just turn off the light so I can go back to sleep," Sheppard said before flipping on his stomach. By the time the colonel had finished getting dressed, both men were snoring from their sleeping bags.
First things first, he needed breakfast. It was the most important meal after all, he thought. Since most everyone else on the base was asleep, he was spared any unwanted attention.
He had to admit, though it had been only one day, the constant stares and whispers everywhere he went were getting to him. He could only hope Rodney and Radek could find a solution soon.
Glancing in the mess hall, he was glad to see that only the chef, Mrs. B, was in there. She looked up from the stove. "What a surprise seeing you here this early, Colonel Sheppard," she greeted kindly. "Since you are the first one here for breakfast, have any special requests?"
"Nah," he said. "I'll just have some toast and coffee."
Before he had a chance to butter his bread, Rodney came in. McKay walked up to him and squinted, as if trying to see him better.
"Rodney--"
"Shh," he interrupted. "I want to see if I can guess which one you are."
Humoring his friend for a second, he put on his most bland expression. "Ok, guess."
He studied him, but instead of answering, he asked, "Is that a busted lip?"
The colonel put his fingers and touched the tender spot. "What if it is?" he asked defensively.
"Then I would guess that you were John and you got the busted lip from Teyla who was trying to put a stop to you putting the moves on her," he said smugly.
Several thoughts ran through the colonel's mind. Was John really putting the moves on Teyla? Why would Rodney assume Teyla wouldn't want him to "put the moves on her"? But what came out was, "You really think she could bust my lip open?"
Rodney looked at him as if he was crazy. "She can kick Ronan's ass. You don't stand a chance."
"Huh," the colonel said as he finished preparing his food. He took a seat at the closest table, hoping to be able to lock himself in his office with his paperwork and away from people until the situation resolved itself.
McKay sat next to him a minute later. The colonel tried to keep his annoyance to a minimum. "So, you never did tell me if I was right," Rodney said, putting a piece of bacon in his mouth.
"No, you weren't," he said, taking a big bite of toast.
"Well, since I know Sheppard wouldn't get up at the crack of dawn to watch the sun rise, I have to assume you're the colonel."
The colonel tapped his finger on his nose. "Ding. Have you guys made any progress?" he asked, changing subjects.
Rodney reluctantly shook his head. "There are over 60,000 pages of data on this device alone. Unfortunately, the Ancients didn't include a table of contents."
"Great," he said sarcastically.
"What? You don't like having two other yous running around? I am so jealous that I wasn't there," Rodney said. "Could you imagine everything that could get done around here?"
"Well, I, for one am grateful that you weren't," the colonel said.
Rodney narrowed his eyes. "You sure you aren't Sheppard?"
"Yes I am sure," he answered curtly.
"Well, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," complained Rodney.
"None of us slept on the bed. Don't you get it? None of us are really John Sheppard and that's the problem. You have three men who think that they have the sole right of being him. To me, I'm the real John Sheppard and the other two are fakes. I'm sure they feel the same way about me," he explained.
Rodney's eyes widened. He snapped his fingers a couple of times. "You may have helped me out. I'll contact you in a few hours."
The colonel drank the last of his coffee as he watched McKay leaving, tapping furiously at his tablet. He felt better after venting to Rodney. Time to get some work done, he thought.
He made his way down to his seldom used office. Usually the only time he was down there was to welcome new officers to the base and to hide out when he did something to make Elizabeth mad.
He opened the bottom drawer and started digging through it. Finally, he found what he was looking for. He pulled it up, the rest of the papers falling back into the drawer.
He set it on top of his desk…a laptop computer. He pushed the power button.
Nothing happened.
Since it had been so long, the battery must have drained. He tapped his earpiece. "McKay? Do you think you could send someone down here with a new battery for my laptop?"