Yay! Chapter two! faints I need to sleep more. I've been writing, drawing, or playing Pokemon Yellow on my gameboy all night. That's just sad. And then I wake up early to watch Wimbledon. I'm borderline pathetic. Or…my life is at least. Oh well. I get to post my stories, ne?

So, here it is, the second installment. More talking than anything, but the other chapters WILL get better, I promise.

The flustered homunculus made his way back to the underground mansion fairly quickly. Dante had left that morning to go play her game of 'innocent maiden' in an attempt to find more powerful alchemists ripe for manipulation. That meant the homunculi had the run of the place for at least the next couple of weeks. It also meant Envy had time to clear up the mess he'd gotten himself into before Dante found out.

Throwing the heavy doors open angrily, Envy's narrowed violet eyes sought out the first victim. Why was it always Wrath?

"You!" he snapped at the youngest homunculus, "Where's Sloth?!"

Wrath stared at Envy for a moment, a combination of shock and fear on his ever childish face. Finally, he called out, "Mommy! Envy's alive and not very happy!"

"Oh dear," Sloth's placid voice responded from the room to the right, "I guess that means I owe Lust twenty dollars after all."

Great. They were betting on him now. Storming past Wrath and into the large sitting room to the right of the foyer, Envy locked his fury onto Sloth.

Sloth was seated quite casually on one of the large couches, sipping a cup of tea like the dignified woman she was. Without looking up, she asked, "So, did you do it?"

"Of course I did it!" Envy yelled indignantly, "And it sure as hell wasn't worth it."

Sloth placed her cup down and stared at Envy, eyes filled with innocent inquiry. "The sex was bad?"

Mouth working before his mind, Envy retorted, "No! Dealing with Mustang was!"

"That's what you get for staying," Lust's silken voice came from behind. "You should just be grateful that both Fullmetal and the colonel didn't kill you."

Envy scoffed, absently listening to the sound of Lust's heels clicking against the stone floor. She was right. That both alchemists had let him live was pretty lucky. But he wasn't about to tell her she was right. Lust was the last person who needed an ego boost, especially from Envy.

"Alright, now I'm curious," Sloth's voice cut into Envy's thoughts, "Just how did you do it?"

"Huh?" Envy replied less than intelligently.

Lust frowned slightly at him. "How did you manage to have sex with Fullmetal? Did you just rape him or something?"

"No!" the shape shifter answered defensively. He could feel the damn blush on his usually pale cheeks again. "He just kinda…went along with it after a while."

Sloth laughed softly. "Envy, dear," she giggled, "If you looked half as cute as you do now, he probably fell in love with you."

"Shut up!" he snapped, face heating up further.

Shrugging elegantly and ignoring Envy's outburst, Lust added, "I'm willing to bet it was just Edward's hormones. He is a teenager after all, and if Envy advanced quickly enough, Fullmetal's sex drive probably just took over."

"Shut up!" Envy repeated loudly.

"Aww," Sloth teased, "Don't like us making fun of your boyfriend?"

Shaking his head and cursing viciously under his breath, Envy retorted, "Look, it was one night, ok? One. It's not like it'll ever happen again. I just wasn't about to lose a silly game. I still hate the damn chibi. Now can we please move on with things?"

Lust flipped some vagrant hair over her shoulder and smiled mockingly. "We're sorry Envy," she said so calmly it scared him, "We've just never seen you get so worked up about something before. It's amusing."

"Maybe for you," he snorted, "Now why don't we just let it go and discuss more important things. For example, what's the plan for today?"

The two female homunculi stared at each other for a moment before Sloth replied, "Well, actually, the plan is still to manipulate the Fullmetal Alchemist into creating the Philosopher's Stone for us."

"And seeing as you managed to sleep with him and survive…" Lust mused aloud.

Envy cut her off before any suggestions could be made. "No! No, no, no!! I am not going back there today! Mustang is totally on my case right now, and if I risk going back, he'll probably tear me apart!"

Cocking an eyebrow, Lust teased, "Scared?"

"Normally, no. But with him deliberately watching out for me, yes." Envy crossed his arms, hoping what he'd said was finalizing enough.

"Envy, you're our best chance right now," Sloth pointed out 'matter-of-factly'.

The shape shifter simply frowned at her.

Lust had clearly had enough of him. "Knock it off, Envy. Being watched has never bothered you before. You're only acting like this because you're afraid to see Fullmetal again."

"I am NOT afraid of chibi-chan!!" Envy spat angrily.

And hence, the homunculus found himself walking back toward the military headquarters. Damn his dignity! If he wasn't such an egomaniac he wouldn't be backtracking. But no. He had to prove Lust wrong. Oh, she was going to pay for this, much worse than she had for his last humiliation (not that he'd actually done anything, but he'd considered it.)

As the large building loomed up ahead, Envy made the easy transition from 'citizen' to 'military personnel'.

"If this ends in

"If this ends in any kind of pain," Envy grumbled as he elbowed his way through the crowd, "I will kill someone."

To Be Continued…