Do you know how much I HATE having to handwrite everything out? It's awful! My house only has one computer in it (well, only one working one) and I can barely get on for more than an hour. Thereby, I have to write everything out on loose-leaf and then type it up whenever I can sneak onto the computer. I HATE IT! So, I'm buying myself a laptop…hopefully. Wish me luck!

Well, aside from that little rant, here's chapter three. Um…just for a quick warning: vulgar language will be used accordingly depending on Envy's mood. Yeah. Just thought I'd give everyone a heads up. If swearing bothers you, it's best not to carry on. Ok! On with chapter three!!

Envy gained access easily enough and ran through Lust's plan once again. Step one, find chibi-chan; step two, get him alone; step three, seduce the alchemist to a point where he was wrapped around the homunculus' finger; step four, somehow con him into transmuting the Philosopher's Stone. It was painful how easy she'd made it sound. Sloth, on the other hand, had wished him luck, but insisted on coming up with a back-up plan. Lust's idea that Ed's infatuation had been strictly hormonal had obviously convinced Sloth that Envy was doomed. They were probably betting on him again too.

However, as the homunculus was lost in his own paranoid thoughts, Envy failed to hear the commanding voice attempting to get his attention. A rude and forceful grab at his shoulder, though, managed to snap Envy out of his reverie.

"I asked where you came from, soldier!" Mustang's voice demanded.

Envy frowned and turned to face and salute the colonel. "My apologies sir," the homunculus forced, "I was just…thinking."

Sighing and nodding, Roy continued much calmer, "So, then, just where did you transfer from soldier? I don't recognize your face."

"I came in from East City Headquarters, sir. I'm a new recruit and the president suggested I train here at Central. He said working under your supervision would be best." Damn, Envy was good at lying. He had that skill down to a fine art. He also knew for a fact that the president was currently in East City checking out the new recruits. After all, the president was a homunculus as well.

Roy seemed to think about what was said before nodding. "Fine then. Do you have any bags or do you have living arrangements already in place?"

"My bags are on their way, sir," Envy answered smoothly.

"Follow me to the dorm area then," the alchemist said, turning to walk down the hall.

As the two of them progressed, Mustang pointed out the areas he thought the 'recruit' ought to be familiar with. Envy couldn't have cared less. His concern was whether or not the colonel was suspicious of him. There was no way Mustang had forgotten about this morning's fiasco. Maybe this whole 'tour' was some kind of clever plot. But he couldn't just take off because if it wasn't, and Roy didn't suspect anything, he'd throw suspicions on himself and his cover would be shot.

Once again, Roy's prominent voice brought Envy back to the real world. "And that brings us to the dorm area. The state alchemists stay in the dorms over that way, while you and the other soldiers will stay here. Room 702 is currently free and unlocked, so you can check it out while I get you your key." The colonel then turned and walked off, giving Envy one final pat on the back.

The shape shifter glanced around before shuffling down the hall. If this was a trap, it was very cleverly thought out. And given the fact that Envy hadn't been gone very long, the odds of the colonel having the time to put something that elaborate together was slim to none.

Room 702 was nothing special. There was a window, a bed, a desk, a couple of chairs, and a closet. The floor was made of some sort of dark wood and the walls were in need of a new coat of paint. Basically, it was your everyday dorm room for one.

While Envy mapped out his location by memory, colonel Mustang returned with a couple of keys. "I forgot to ask you something soldier," Roy said as he handed Envy the keys.

"What is it sir?" the disguised homunculus inquired.

"I need your transfer papers. It's military policy."

Shit. Hadn't Lust said something like that? Or was that Sloth? Well, one of them had informed him not to go as a new soldier because of all the paperwork. Sure, now he remembered the advice.

"My…papers?" Envy squeaked, attempting to remain confident.

Mustang's brow furrowed at the hesitation. "Yes," he replied patiently, "Your transfer papers verifying your arrival, credibility, and position."

Suddenly, a beautiful lie presented itself. "Oh, yes, my transfer papers! Those are being sent along with my bags, sir. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience, but my last colonel wasn't very good with paperwork. He said he'd simply send it along with the rest of my things. It shouldn't be more than a couple days."

Roy's unconvinced frown remained, but he nodded in spite of it. "I suppose that's alright," he mumbled, "But until those papers come in, I can't have you partake in any military happenings. You'll have to stay in the dorm area or the mess hall."

"Yes, sir!" Envy saluted like the good little soldier he was pretending to be. After all, he was only there for the dorm area anyway.

Roy gave a brief salute in return before walking out. Envy heaved a sigh of relief. He'd just earned himself two days, minimum, to accomplish what he'd come for.

Looking out his window, Envy quickly mapped out the fastest way to chibi-chan's room in his head. Perhaps this would be as easy as Lust had made it sound.

Envy promptly shut and locked his door, opened the window, and made his way to Ed's room much like he had the night before. Luckily for him, no one was on the grounds to see him make the jump to Fullmetal's second floor window. And his luck continued as the window had been left open. Silly chibi-chan.

However, the small alchemist was not in his room, so Envy made himself comfortable. He reverted back to his preferred appearance and settled onto Ed's bed. He was perfectly content to wait.

One hour ticked by and Envy moved from sitting on the bed to lying on the bed. As the second one crawled on, Envy stared blankly at the ceiling, humming softly to keep from dozing off. As the final minutes of the third began – and Envy was preparing to leave – heavy footsteps could be heard in the hall. There was no doubt about it; Ed was finally coming to his room.

The homunculus waited until he saw the first glimpse of blond before purring, "What took you, chibi-chan?"

To Be Continued…