The new Hokage had declared a holiday in celebration of assuming her title. Konoha's people needed a reason to relax, to rest, to reconnect with each other. So there was going to be a festival, with dancing and good food and fireworks late into the night. Iruka was thrilled. Kakashi was well again and he was happy. The students at the Academy were giving special demonstrations and performances and he had been busy for weeks getting them ready. Two nights before the festival he bustled around the house, gathering up papers with high marks to display on the classroom walls.
"Class Three is going to show off their kunai throwing. After that, Class One is performing a selection of songs. They're so excited about singing in front of everyone. I just hope they can remember the words." He grinned over at the sofa, where Kakashi sat reading.
"What do you think we should pack in our picnic basket? Anything special you're in the mood for?"
Kakashi looked up at him, confused. "Picnic basket?"
Iruka rolled his eyes. "Dinner? On the blanket? While we watch fireworks? Any of that ringing a bell?" He grinned at the silver haired ninja and winked roguishly. "So, handsome, are you going to save me a dance?"
Kakashi stared at him blankly for a moment. "Do you think that's a good idea? Sharing a basket? Dancing together?"
"What do you mean?" Iruka frowned at him, confused.
"It's just that stuff like that, if we do it together, people are going to, you know, think stuff. About us." Kakashi fumbled for an explanation.
"And that would be bad." Iruka's voice was suddenly very flat.
"Well…I mean…I don't want people to get the wrong idea…to talk about…" Kakashi's voice trailed off at the look on Iruka's face.
"And what 'wrong idea' would that be? That we're a couple? Because I'm pretty sure that spending all of our free time together, enjoying each other's company, and, oh yeah, sleeping together means that we are a couple! Unless you have a different interpretation of 'couple' than I do."
Kakashi flinched back from the sarcasm and hurt in Iruka's voice. "You don't understand, Iruka. People like you. They're going to accept you no matter what you do. I don't have that luxury."
"I don't understand? I don't understand? Kakashi, I'm a teacher. This village isn't that large. What do you think it's like for me? Everyday, no matter what I'm doing or where I go, I run into someone who knows me. They watch everything I do, whether they mean to or not, because they worry about the person who spends so much time with their children. Why do you think I don't drink more than two cups of sake at restaurants? Why do you think I always make sure this blasted uniform is neat and orderly and my house is clean? Because I know that everyday, everywhere I go I'm being judged, evaluated, observed. I don't have the luxury of walking around the village openly reading porn." He deflated slightly. "And I understand their concern. I really do. Their children are precious to them; they have a right to worry about them. But sometimes I just want to go where no one knows me, where I don't have to feel like I'm on stage all the time."
Iruka sighed deeply. "The way I see it, you are ashamed of me. Either you are ashamed because I'm a man or you're ashamed because I'm a chuunin or you're ashamed because I'm me—mousy and boring." Kakashi tried to interrupt with a protest and Iruka cut him off with a glance. "But don't tell me I don't understand what's at risk here. If we go public with our relationship, I know parents will object and if enough people protest, then I will very probably lose my job. The Hokage would have no choice but to let me go."
He stared hard at Kakashi for a moment. "I love my job, but I'm willing to give it up if I have to, because, dammit, I have a right to be with the man I love."
Kakashi's eyes widened, his shangrin whirling. "You…love me?"
Iruka raked his fingers through his hair, ripping out the band holding it back and flinging it on the table in frustration. "Gods, Kakashi, yes, I'm in love with you. But right now, I really don't like you." He glared hard at his lover. "I am not going to let myself get hurt just because you're scared of what people might think. So you need to think about whether or not you can handle this relationship and if you can't, then tell me sooner rather than later." He slumped forward, leaning hard on the table. "Go, just go home, Kakaski. I'm tired and I still have twenty essays to grade tonight. Some of us can't show up three hours late to every class."
Kakashi stared hard at Iruka's bent back for a long while, wanting to say something, but unable to find the words. Finally he turned and left, closing the door behind himself with a soft, final sounding click.
---
The evening of the festival was clear and beautiful. The Academy grounds teamed with excited children and proud parents. The classes performed and showed their talents. Then everyone broke into family groups to lay out their blankets and prepare for dinner.
"Mind if we join you?" Iruka looked up at the deep voice and saw Asuma standing with Kurenai. He smiled. "Of course! I think I brought too much food. Hope you two are hungry."
Kurenai looked up from spreading out a large blanket. "Are you by yourself? I thought you might be coming with…someone."
Iruka smiled sadly. "Nope, just me. Naruto had already made plans with Sasuke and Sakura." He looked down at his picnic basket and missed the look she shared with Asuma.
"But you weren't expecting anyone else?" Kurenai prodded.
"I thought I was, but I guess I was wrong." Again the wistful smile flitted across his face.
Dinner was relaxed. The three teachers shared stories of their students, laughing over particularly funny moments, commiserating over the frustrating ones. Gradually everyone around them started talking more and eating less. Musicians began setting up on a small stage in front of the dance floor.
The first couples were just moving onto the dance floor when Iruka felt someone standing near him. He looked up and was surprised to see a shock of white hair. Stumbling to his feet, he stared at Kakashi, uncertain what to say.
"I'm an idiot." Kakashi began without preamble. "An idiot. You were right, everything you said. We shouldn't have to hide. We shouldn't have to choose." He reached out and took Iruka's hands in his own. "I love you. All of you. I love that you care more about your students than you do about yourself. I love that you don't put up with crap from me. I love the way you smell and the touch of your hair and the feel of your body next to mine when we wake up in the morning." His voice trailed off briefly and he swallowed hard. "And I'm sorry that I hurt you." He opened his mouth to continue, but Iruka stopped him.
"Hush, love, it's okay. I forgive you." Iruka smiled gently at him.
Kakashi pulled Iruka toward him and hugged him tightly. "Iruka-sama. I don't deserve you," he whispered."You are too good for me."
A light touch on his shoulder caused him to glance up. Kurenai was standing next to him.
"Kakashi," she said seriously, "none of us are ever worthy of those who choose to offer us their love." She looked over at Asuma for a moment before turning back to Kakashi. "All we can do is to try not to waste the gift they give." Kakashi nodded, grateful and surprised.
Asuma grunted, tossed aside his cigarette, and stood up. He walked over to the trio and took the hand Kurenai was resting on Kakashi's shoulder. "Come on, beautiful, I'm in the mood to dance." As they walked off together, Asuma thumped Kakashi on the back in a reassuring manner. "You'll get the hang of it, don't worry," he called over his shoulder.
The two men stood wrapped in each other's embrace, oblivious to the world around them, until a soft cough startled them. Glancing up, they realized that the Hokage was standing very close to them, watching them with a sharp, knowing look. They broke apart quickly. Tsunade noticed that Iruka stepped slightly in front of Kakashi, as if to protect him, though it didn't seem to her like either of them realized that he had done it.
"So," she began, "how long?"
They glanced at each other. "Um, since the night of the last Hokage's funeral…" Iruka said, tentatively. "But, our friendship started earlier than that." Kakashi corrected him. They both looked back at her nervously.
She stared at them, allowing the tension to build. "A while, then." They nodded. She considered them again for another long moment, then reached out and took hold of Kakashi's right hand and Iruka's left hand. Bringing them together in front of her, she covered their hands with her own.
"You are fine ninjas—loyal and good. Konoha owes you two a debt she can never begin to repay. Consider this a start. If any of the villagers has an issue with your relationship, I will deal with them myself. You are good men. Be happy together for as long as you will." She squeezed their hands between hers, smiled at them, and walked over to chat with a group of ninjas standing a little ways away.
Nonplussed, Iruka blinked, trying to get his mind around what had just happened. He glanced at Kakashi and was startled to find that the other man was laughing. The giggles were contagious and Iruka soon found that he couldn't help but join in. After a good laugh, they wiped their streaming eyes and looked fondly at each other.
"Well, now what?" Iruka asked.
Kakashi leaned over and placed a cloth-covered kiss on Iruka's cheek. "I think I'd like to dance with the man I love, if that's alright with you."
Iruka smiled at him, blushing slightly. "I believe that could be arranged. But on one condition—I get to lead."
"You get to lead? I don't think so! I'll have you know that I am a superb dancer, so I should be the lead."
"Superb dancer? Whatever! Having two left feet would be an improvement for you!"
"Two left feet? You look like an elephant trying to do ballet!"
Bickering happily and swatting playfully at each other, they drifted into the swirl of dancers and were swept away.
THE END