Pain
Chapter 19

Sitting in the waiting room alone made me feel less and less human. Silently I sat, watching the nurses walk by me, none of them even noticing that I had been crying the whole time I was there. Finally, after sitting there for two hours, a doctor clad in a white lab coat walked up to me and sighed, folding his glasses and placing them inside his pocket.

"Miss Vortex?" he asked quietly, "You're here on behalf of Mr. James Neutron, am I right?"

I nodded nervously and stood up, noticing my legs felt like jello and not solid flesh and bone. The doctor gave me a quick once-over and blinked, probably wondering why I looked like a hobo. Then he rubbed his forehead with his right hand, sighing again.

"I don't really know how to say this, even if I do this everyday, but.."

I trembled uncontrollably at that moment for some reason, and one of the nurses had to guide me to a chair so I could sit down before the doctor could continue.

"Mr. Neutron has a spinal tumor, along with a tumor in his brain. You did good for bringing him here, but I'm afraid the tumors have been found too late. We can start treatment, but it would only slow it down, not stop it completely."

The doctor rubbed his forehead again and wiped away some sweat that had gathered there, and sighed.

"We're terribly sorry... But only if Mr. Neutron had come in sooner... He might've had some chance... But.."

By that point I was crying, feeling as if the world had been out to get me from the beginning. What if it had been? It sure felt like it. Why was all this bad stuff happening to me all of a sudden? Was it because I had gotten together with Jimmy? With Sheen? I could've dealt with Nick...

"There's nothing you can do?" I barely heard myself ask this. It felt like I was inching away from the world now, ever so slowly. I could hear how fuzzy each of our voices sounded, and how there was a loud thudding in my ears. The pain I felt in my heart already was enlarged by a hundred, and I could barely stand just sitting there. But there was nothing I could do, was there?

The doctor was barely mumbling as I just sat there, dumbly watching him. Soon I was being guided to Jimmy's room, my heart aching the whole way there. Personally, I thought the trip took way too long, for it seemed like it took us a year to get there and not a minute. Crying had no purpose now, did it?

"Here he is, Miss Vortex," I heard the doctor whisper. At least, it sounded like he whispered. Or was it because I was so devastated that it sounded like he whispered?

And I stood there. I just stood there. There was no point in moving, in living, in crying. So I just stood there. But the sight of Jimmy laying there, as fuzzy and far away as it seemed, it made me sadder and sadder. I couldn't stay away any longer.

"Please make this one bad dream," I muttered as I shuffled slowly to Jimmy's side. Maybe if it was a dream, I could scream and scream and no one would care. If this was a bad dream, I could wake up and none of this would've happened. If this was a bad dream, I could kill myself and it wouldn't matter. But then again, I could kill myself right now and it wouldn't matter.

Slowly, ever so slowly, I made my way to his side, and grabbed his hand. His skin still felt cold and clammy and I choked back sobs, watching how Jimmy's cheek would twitch every so often. He looked so peaceful though, very unlike a person that was going to die in soon. A couple months? A couple years?

Jimmy mumbled something and startled me. I sat up straight for some reason and studied his features. He was frowning now, and it seemed like he was troubled. What was wrong? A bad dream? I lay a sweaty hand on his forehead, noticing how he was slightly warmer than usual. How was it that it was only his forehead that was hot and everywhere else was cold?

"Jimmy," I said as I nudged his arm, "You okay?"

He mumbled something again and I frowned, furrowing my eyebrows. Was there something really wrong? Why wasn't he waking up? I tried once more to wake him, but unsuccessfully. Maybe it was better that he slept...

Seventeen. The very beginning of Nick's transformation. It was a surprise, yes, when he began acting like a jerk. But what was a girl to do? Now, on his seventeenth birthday, Nick retrieved the ugly glint in his eyes, the attitude he had been so famous for from the beginning...

"Babe!" he yelled, "C'mon! How fucking long does it take for you to get dressed?!"

Obviously he was angry. Today, of all days, my alarm clock had stopped working. Of course something bad like this would happen on Nick's birthday. This morning I had scrambled to take a shower, eat something, and dry my hair. Now, of course, was the perfect time for Nick to come pick me up, when I was still scrambling to turn myself presentable. Of course today would be the day when Nick came early.

"Just a minute!" I replied, grabbing a pair of jeans that had been starting to grow ripe on the bedroom floor and a low-cut tank top that I had grabbed out of the dryer a few minutes ago. Searching for shoes, I managed to find a pair of ballet-like shoes that I had bought weeks ago and never worn. Pulling a comb through my wavy locks, I grabbed my shoulder-slung bag.

I clambered down the stairs and into Nick's arms, where he had been impatiently waiting at the bottom of the stairs, glancing occasionally at his watch. He pouted at me, his dark hair falling over his eyes. I blinked once and his angry expression disappeared, replaced by a happy one.

"C'mon!" he said cheerfully, pulling me outside, "Let's go!"

I laughed at his eagerness, but I couldn't blame him as he pulled me into his car. He looked at me for a moment then laughed along, throwing a bag of donuts in my lap.

"Thought you'd be hungry," he muttered as he backed out of my driveway. How sweet he had been. Now that was just a dream... But was it really that far away?

We rode in silence for the two minutes it took for us to get to school, and when we got there, we were early. So we sat. We sat and talked, just like we used to, before Nick had started to grow hostile. I had missed these. This was what had kept me sane when my dad had left. Always I had felt broken, as if it were my fault that he left. But people always say it wasn't.

Finally people began to come to school, and we got out of Nick's car and walked toward the front entrance; Nick draping his arm over my shoulder. His backpack slung over one shoulder; he was the perfect image of an uncaring bad boy.

"Hey Nick!" So many people greeted Nick that you would've thought they were all best friends. But they never were. And no one ever greeted me anymore... I was too distant with anyone for them to. (AN: Holy shit, a spider on the wall!)

"Nick! What's up, my man? Where were you this weekend?" Some random guy walked up to us (Well, more so Nick...) and started firing rapid fire questions at him.

"Yo, dude, can't you see I'm with my girl right now? Man, get some manners!" Nick said in a teasing way. The random guy blushed and mumbled something before waving and walking away.

Nick looked at me and smiled, kissing my cheek right after. He was so sweet. We walked to class together, back when we did have classes together, and we sat down right next to each other...

Nick's birthday didn't go as badly as I thought it would. It actually went very well. I thought this was an improvement from the moring until we were at his house.

He had been so angry that night. Apparently I had done something wrong, and he was yelling like a madman.

"God, Cindy! What the fuck is wrong with you?! You do nothing right, and when you do, you always make it wrong by messing it up! You are such a moron! Get a fucking brain!"

And I had sat there the whole time, taking it all, absorbing it like a sponge. Mainly, the reason for me being smart now is all thanks to Nick, so maybe he wasn't the biggest bad guy there...

"You bitch! Are you even listening to me?!" I suddenly looked up and saw Nick's hand zooming in on my face. The shock of it almost made me faint, but I steadied myself in time, although my cheek stung like crazy. Tears were trickling out of my eyes, slowly but surely, and I wiped them away silently, not daring to look into Nick's eyes.

"Next time," he whispered into my ear, his breath making goosebumps suddenly appear along my neck, "You do as I say. Got it?"

I nodded slowly at first, but as Nick sighed angrily, I nodded faster, so fast that it felt like my head was about to fall off in a second.

That's the start of Nick's abuse. And that's when I started dying.

As much as I loved to bring back old memories, I knew it was time for me to go. The sky had grown dark and the only noise in the building was of the nurse's shoes squeaking on the linoleum floor. And even that was quiet. I knew I had to go.

As I was leaving, I gave Jimmy a kiss on the cheek and left the room, actually feeling better than I did when I had first heard the news. But that feeling was soon to disappear. As I walked into the waiting room to say good bye to the nurse who had been pretty nice to me, I heard someone talking. Someone I dreaded seeing. Someone I didn't want to think about anymore.

Someone I hated.