Pain
Chapter 20

Nick. What was he doing here? There was no reason, no reason at all for him to be here. Was there? Slowly, gasping back the surprise that still lingered, I inched forward, hoping to God that no one would notice. I managed to get close to the front desk, hiding myself behind a wall.

"Well, is there any way I didn't have to stay here overnight?" I heard Nick ask, angry. I could hear the nurse mumble and papers crinkle as she looked around her desk for something. Eventually, she found it, and held it up proudly. Or at least, she did before Nick glared at her.

The nurse cleared her throat before speaking, the cough a loud, unwelcomed noise in the silence. "Mr. Dean.. You're on the stable list, so you can leave for tonight, but you have to come back tomorrow at some time for a checkup."

I heard Nick sigh. "Well... Fine. If I have to... I'll be back here at 2 o'clock tomorrow, is that alright?"

The nurse nodded as she took a sip of coffee from an ancient mug that had been sitting next to her, a lipstick stain on one edge. Nick was growing calmer by the second, the way he usually got calmer, and he shrugged at the nurse before walking away, toward the doors. They slid open as he approached, and I quickly made my way up to the front desk.

"Excuse me," I breathed, "That guy that just left, Nick Dean? Is there any chance you could tell me why he was here?"

The old nurse looked surprised, seeing as only a few hours earlier, I had been acting like a zombie. She coughed once and opened the file again, her long, painted nails sliding smoothly against the surface.

"Hmm... Mr. Nicholas Dean was here for... He was here for a broken wrist, three hours earlier," she said quickly, clearing her throat as she paused for a moment. "He said it was because he was playing football with his friends.."

I nodded and smiled at the nurse, who looked quite tired from sitting there the whole day and answering questions. "Thank you, I appreciate the help. Well, I'll see you tomorrow."

She smiled back at me, apparently pleased that I was so polite. Well, someone needed to be that way. After smiling at her again and waving goodbye, I walked out the sliding doors and into the darkness, feeling the cool air blow my hair back. I could feel the pain Jimmy was going through, for I was going through it too; my heart was still in pieces, even after mending it a thousand times. I was enjoying the peace though, something I didn't get often. Maybe if I could forget everything, even Jimmy, I could be okay for once. But memories were meant to be here. If they weren't, we'd be able to forget easily. Memories hurt.

But for some reason, I still thought of the joyful memories I had collected before I had turned fourteen. The joyful memories I had created with Jimmy. The joyful memories with Nick... How could a sweet person like him turn into someone so horrible? It was so surprising. If this was the way the world worked, I really didn't want to stay here anymore. Maybe it would be better if I left it. So many bad things had happened. Why hadn't the doctors seen the tumors before? When Jimmy was at the hospital before? Surely they had taken x-rays...

I ran into someone in the dark, and I could he was crying. His dark hair spilled over his brow and covered his eyes, a mere shadow in the night. I could see him stiffen as he pulled his arm away from me, sliding it behind his back. He lowered his head even more and backed away, turning around, then putting his arm in front of him. But I recognized him. How could I not?

Why had he not left? Why did Nick stand in the dark, crying? Why did I have so many questions? Why did I have so many unanswered questions?

I could still see Nick's retreating form in the surface, his back hunched. Why was he acting so strangely? Quickly I ran, my feet pounding on the concrete. He seemed to hear this and he quickened his pace, disappearing behind a corner. I myself quickened my own pace, feeling my heart beat wildly as I ran and ran toward the corner that was becoming closer and closer. Soon, I rounded it the corner, seeing Nick disappear into an alley that was up ahead. Was he planning something? Was he luring me? Why was he heading to the alley?

But I still followed, acting like such a fool. I didn't know why I was being like this? Nick was one of two people I wanted to desperately forget, yet I was follwing him. Into an alley out of all things.

"Cindy," I heard him whisper, his voice husky from crying. "I'm sorry."

His tone of voice was still guilty though, and for a split second I thought he was going to do something in the future. But I was wrong. On two counts. From behind him came another figure, one dressed in something too dressy for this occasion. His green eyes glinted in the dim light that spilled awkwardly into the alleyway, and I stepped back in horror as I realized what Nick had meant.

He was in on it all.

"Cindy, Cindy, Cindy," my father drawled, strolling quickly toward me and pulling me further into the alley. "Have I not told you that you were naive? Have I not? You still didn't listen though, even after I told you. This is what you get for not listening, poor Cindy."

I felt my heart beat even faster as I was pulled very far into the alley. Maybe I hadn't made the best of choices. Maybe I should've just went home. Maybe I shouldn't have had some kind of fleeting hope that Nick would redeem himself.

My father sighed once and put a hand on his heart, looking at me with a sad smile. "You must grow some brains, my dearest daughter... But I wasn't that surprised when you waltzed in here like an idiot.."

I could see Nick grimacing, looking at me with watery brown eyes. If he was in on it all, why was he crying? Was he trying to get me to think he was innocent before I died? I felt my father tug me, his grip on my arm tight. I could feel the blood struggling to enter my arm, but my father's vice-like grip on it made the blood stop as it sped nearer. Soon my arm was numb, just like I was.

"Cindy," my father sighed once more, "I'm going to end your pain."

I stared at him in horror and I managed to glimpse Nick staring in horror too, and I felt a metallic taste enter my mouth. My father smiled icily as he pulled me further into the alley.

I had bitten my tongue.

"Don't be afraid, dear Cindy," he said quietly, not noticing Nick shuffling closer, "It won't hurt."

I saw my father pull out a knife from his jacket pocket, making me tremble. After all I had already been through, why must I go through this? I bit my tongue harder, feeling the warm blood flood my mouth, making me gag. But I welcomed it. I knew it would be the last time I would ever feel pain. My father was saving me.

But I was scared. No matter how much my father soothed me, I was scared. And just as I blacked out, I saw my father's hand plunge toward me, clutching his knife so hard that his knuckles were white...