Author's Note: Wow! Two updates in one day! I'm on a roll, whoo!! This chapter was tons of fun to write! Zexion, Demyx, and Saix lovers, please don't kill me!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts 2, or Organization XIII. If I did, the world would be very, very afraid. And fanfiction would be a great place to get plot updates. Hehe

A Day in the Life of a Nobody

Chapter III

"You want me to WHAT!?" Demyx shrieked.

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"You heard us," Axel smirked at the wide-eyed blonde.

"But…. but…. its…. EW!!!!" Demyx said.

"Do it, or Zexion suffers," Roxas said, crossing his arms.

"Ok. Fine," Demyx hung his head down sadly. "I'm sorry, Zexy…"

"Glad to see you're on board with us!" Axel said cheerfully.

"So, you get Demyx ready, and I'll…" Roxas gulped. "I'll get Saix out of Mansex's room…" Roxas covered his face in shame. He knew exactly how to get him out, but he didn't want to do it. It would involve…. Marluxia and Larxene.

Axel dramatically put his hand on Roxas's shoulder.

"You can do this," Axel said.

"But if you don't, can I have your stuff?" Demyx asked.

Axel smacked Demyx in the back of his head.

"Don't listen to him. You will make it," Axel said, smothering Roxas in another hug. Roxas inhaled Axel's scent. He eternally smelled like burning trees. But for some reason, Roxas was comforted by the smell, almost in love with it.

Wait. What? Love? I can't feel this way… no. No. I need to focus, or we're all in trouble! Roxas yelled in his head as Axel let him go.

Roxas saluted Axel playfully. Axel saluted him back.

"Good luck, number 13." Axel said, smiling.

Roxas nodded, as he disappeared into a portal.

When Roxas had left, Axel grabbed Demyx and went to Demyx's room. While Demyx leaned on a wall, Axel went through his closet.

"Ahah!" Axel said, triumphantly holding a blue and white speedo.

"Axel! No! You can't be serious!!! Anything else but that!!!" Demyx cried.

"Yes, this. Now, you know what to do," Axel said, tossing the speedo to Demyx.

Demyx grumbled a string of curses as he put on the skintight speedo.

Meanwhile, with Roxas…

Roxas appeared in a pale white hallway. On his right was a door with the number

11 on it. That was Marluxia's room. The Graceful Assassin. He was some pink haired weirdo with an obsession with flowers. Roxas smiled at the thought of the last time he was in there.

Flashback:

"Come on, Roxy! It'll be fun!!" Axel insisted, pulling him into the portal he had summoned leading to Marluxia's room.

Roxas tried pulling away.

"No, Axel! I don't want to die!!!" Roxas whined.

"You won't die, Roxy!" Axel said cheerfully, jerking Roxas and holding him by the shoulders. "I'll take all the blame. Don't worry. We're just going to trample a few flowers, and then get out! It'll be easy, now COME ON!"

Axel pulled Roxas into the dark vortex.

They appeared inside Marluxia's room. It was pale white, like all the other rooms, but was much bigger, and actually had windows. By those windows were Marluxia's prized flowers. Giant roses, Venus Flytraps, and countless other flowers decorated the pots latched to the windows. Axel summoned his chakrams. He looked at Roxas, who had summoned his two keyblades, Oblivion and Oathkeeper.

"After you, number 13," Axel smirked.

Roxas nodded nervously. He raised his keyblades and slashed 3 roses to shreds.

Axel smiled proudly, and began burning a row of Venus Flytraps.

In a matter of minutes, the once thriving garden was nothing but shreds and singed buds.

"Very good on your first try, Roxy!" Axel said proudly. "When I first dragged Demyx in here, he nearly fainted when I singed a leaf." Axel rolled his eyes at the memory.

Outside, Marluxia was coming down the hall. Roxas and Axel froze at the sound of his approaching footsteps.

"Oh fuck, here he comes!" Axel said, hastily summoning a sloppy portal. "We don't have much time. You go, I'll meet you back at my room." He said hurriedly, pushing Roxas into the portal.

But this time, Roxas wouldn't give in. He would stay with his friend. He didn't know what Marluxia did, but he wasn't going to leave his best friend to his wrath. He twisted out of his grip and turned to him.

"No, I'll stay with you and we'll escape together. Who knows, it could be fun!" Roxas said, slightly nervous.

Marluxia walked into the room. He took one look at the two nobodies. Then at his damaged garden. Then back at the two nobodies.

"AXXELLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Marluxia yelled, furious. "YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR WRECKING MY GARDEN AGAIN!!!!" Marluxia summoned his weapon, a pink and green scythe, and prepared to attack.

"Oh man!" Axel said, sliding in front of Roxas. "Roxas, on my move, you run to the door, got it?" he said, turning his head to Roxas.

Marluxia lunged at the two.

"Go!" Axel yelled, sprinting to the door, Roxas following close behind. Marluxia spun his scythe in circles, trying to cut the two intruders to pieces.

"Jump!" Roxas yelled to Axel as the scythe headed their way. Axel grabbed Roxas's wrist and leaped into the air, out the door. When Axel landed outside, he slammed the door on Marluxia, who was nearly going to maim them.

He put his hands on his knees, panting.

"Nice…going back there…Roxas…" Axel said.

"Thanks. Now, we should get going before he comes back out!" Roxas said, summoning a better portal.

"Good…idea… Roxas…" Axel said, falling on top of the small blonde. Roxas smiled, rolled his eyes, and walked into the portal. By the time Marluxia came out, they were gone.

Snapping back into reality, Roxas knocked on the door. No answer. Breathing a sigh of relief, he walked to the door across from it with the number 12 on it. Larxene's room. The Savage Nymph. She was the only girl in the organization, other than Namine. Then again, she didn't really count. She had short blonde hair with two bangs that looked vaguely like antennae, she controlled thunder, and she had very good aim with knives. Roxas knocked nervously. He smiled. No answer. He let himself inside and took 2 of her newly sharpened knives. He turned to her bookcase, and grabbed her favorite book: Marquis De Sade. He took a tiny shred of it and ran outside, closing the door behind him. He rushed back into Marluxia's room and began his work.

He took Larxene's knives and began shredding Marluxia's plants. Once it looked mangled enough, he took the shred of paper and stuck it on a thorn. He left one of her knives half buried in the dirt. He looked around; making sure nobody was around and planted the last piece. Larxene's other knife on Marluxia's desk, half submerged in whatever Marluxia kept on his desk. His ears perked up as he heard footsteps and voices. Larxene was yelling at Luxord for cheating in a game of poker, again. Roxas summoned a portal and appeared in Demyx's room, where Axel and Demyx were waiting.

When he appeared in the room, he saw Axel smiling very smugly on Demyx's bed, and Demyx leaning on a wall and clutching his cloak for dear life.

"I take it he's ready?" Roxas smiled at Axel.

Axel's green eyes flashed with mischief. "Of course. Will Saix be coming out soon?"

"In about 3…2…1," Roxas said.

A deafening shriek echoed throughout the castle. It could only be Larxene. And by the sounds of it, she was mad.

"Where…are…my… knives!?" she shrieked. Axel and Roxas opened the door a tiny bit to watch the show.

Marluxia walked in and ran into her, falling on his butt.

"Ow! What are you yelling about, Larxene!?" Marluxia said, getting up.

"SOMEONE stole my best knives, that's what I'm yelling about!" Larxene yelled.

"Ok, ok, calm down! I'll help you find them. Just quit screaming!" Marluxia replied. "Just let me get… huh!" Marluxia gasped as he opened his door to reveal, yet again, a mangled, torn up garden.

He rushed to his precious flowers and gasped. A shred of paper was among the thorns, along with one of Larxene's knives half buried in the dirt.

"You!" Marluxia scowled; turning to Larxene, scythe in hand. "You tore up my flowers!"

Larxene gasped as well, when she found one of her knives submerged in Marluxia's junk.

"And you stole my knife!" she said, summoning the rest of her knives to her fingertips.

"You're going to pay!" they said at the same time.

"Something sounds like a battle, doesn't it, Roxy?" Axel smirked at Roxas.

"Yes, it does. Someone should get Saix…" Roxas said, turning to Demyx. "That's your cue, Demmy."

Demyx got off the wall and nodded nervously.

Axel took Roxas and hid themselves in the darkness of the room, camera in hand.

Demyx cleared his voice.

"SAIIIIIIXXXX!!!!!!" he yelled. "I need to talk to you!!!"

30 seconds later, Saix appeared, a scowl on his face.

"What do you want, number 9?" he said, crossing his arms.

Demyx put on his best sexy face and wrapped his arms around Saix.

"Number 9, what are you-uh!" Saix's question was cut off when Demyx forced a kiss onto the shocked nobody.

Demyx kept the kiss hooked together long enough to get Saix onto the bed. Kneeling on Saix's waist saddle-style, he stripped himself of his cloak, revealing the skintight speedo. Saix's eyes widened in shock.

Demyx forced a kiss onto Saix again, his fingers fumbling for his cloak zipper. Saix couldn't fight back; his energy was still drained from his "training" with Xemnas.

In the darkness, Axel took pictures like a trained professional. Of course, the flash was off.

"I take it you've done this before?" Roxas whispered.

Axel nodded, still taking pictures.

After 20 minutes of grinding, hair pulling, making out, and moaning, Saix regained some sort of strength and wrenched the nearly naked Demyx off him.

"What is the meaning of this!?" Saix said, outraged.

Demyx quivered where he stood. He was too afraid to speak.

Saix wiped his mouth and put his cloak back on.

"This little endeavor never occurred, understood?" Saix said.

Demyx nodded slowly as Saix disappeared from the room.

Roxas and Axel immediately were on the floor laughing.

"That…was…priceless!!!" Axel said between breaths.

"You got it all, right?" Roxas asked, getting up.

"Yeah!" he said, holding up the camera.

Demyx scrambled to get his cloak back on.

"Ok, I did as you wanted, now where's my Zexy-kun!?" he said, putting his hands on his hips and pouting.

Axel and Roxas's insane laughter subsided as a thump was heard from the room next door.

"Oh yeah, we forgot about Marly and Larxene!" Axel said, laughing even more.

"We'll deal with it later," Roxas said, joining his friend in laughter.

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Yes, I am insane!!! Bwahahahaha!!! XD

Axel: I'll say. That was pretty funny though.

Roxas: Now to sell those pictures on ebay!

Erinicole12: NO!!! -grabs memory stick- My pictures!!! -snarls at Roxas and Axel-

Axel and Roxas: Whoa! -backs off-

Erinicole12: Hehe… -loads pictures onto computer-

Yes, I will update ASAP. PLEASE REVIEW FOR ME!!! Thank you!