Note: It is suggested that you have read the mini-arcs on the manga chapter covers before you read this chapter. If you haven't, you will still understand the chapter, though you may wonder why the heck people are dressed in bizarre costumes.

//
Sanji tended to make his special drinks two at a time. It wasn't that he automatically duplicated Nami-san's beverage to give to Robin-chan or vice versa, because that would be unclassy and unthinkable. He adored them both, but in such different ways, and each creation was prepared especially for the intended recipient.

He hadn't been having a great day. First of all, he'd found that some idiot, who had been oh so difficult to identify, had decided to eat sugar straight from its container. To make matters worse, said unidentified idiot had left the cap off. Sanji had opened the sugar that morning to find it crawling with bugs. Not much bothered Sanji more than wasted food, but wasted ingredients was one of these things because it happened on the cook's side of the process, and not on the eater's. Sanji always took utmost care to keep his ingredients from spoiling; the sugar disaster had been his first since he'd boarded the Going Merry.

As punishment, Sanji had served Luffy absolutely flavorless pancakes, though he'd added milk and cream for the other crewmembers. Of course it didn't help that Luffy didn't mind at all. He had wolfed down his portion and asked for seconds before Sanji had even finished serving the first batch.

Once he had the galley to himself, Sanji decided that nothing would cheer him up more than to prepare cold beverages for his beloved (female) nakama. For Nami-san, he sliced the thinnest moons of lime into a tall glass, mixed orange juice and cherry, and topped it off with a dash of fresh grapefruit that was as red and ripe as her autumn hair. For Robin-chan, he warmed milk in the saucepan, whipped cream to the finest froth, and added bitter cocoa with a touch of mint for the cool breath of her smile.

Humming cheerily to himself, he loaded the tall glasses onto his customary tray and practically flew out onto the deck, twirling once in the sudden sunlight, and called, "Nami-swaan!"

And stopped.

Sanji took pride in his reflexes. Now, for instance, they were the only thing that saved him from blurting out the name of the dark, intriguing beauty who was not, presently, there.

Nami looked up at him curiously, though she took the glass with thanks. Sanji was left holding the extra beverage, caught red-handed in his mistake. He looked around wildly.

"Oi, Usopp!"

The sniper started at the growl in Sanji's voice. "Y…es…?" he asked, turning cautiously.

"Since you liked the drink so much yesterday, I brought you another one. Here." He thrust the cup at Usopp with a glower, tucked the tray against his waist, and strode back into the galley.

Luffy was inside.

As the already furious cook watched, Luffy stretched his mouth to absurd proportions, picked up the five-layer ice cream cake he'd somehow managed to extract from the refrigerator despite its thick padlock, and stuffed it in his gaping maw, hand and all. Apparently eagerness to begin eating made him too impatient to deal with tedious things like pulling his hand out of his mouth before he bit it, and he began to chew with a look of intense concentration on his face.

"LUFFY!"

Luffy bit down. "Ow!" He yanked out his hand, still flecked with cake and ice cream. He spared Sanji only a passing glance before he realized that there was still food to be eaten, which was far more important than dealing with irate cooks. He began to attempt to lick his hand clean with a tongue more cake-covered than his fingers.

"Luffy, do you realize that I am in charge of your meat supply?" Sanji realized suddenly that he'd bitten through his cigarette, and quickly ground out the lit half that had fallen to the floor.

"Oh, Sanji!" Luffy grinned widely, apparently having just noticed him there. "This is delicious! Got any more?"

"How did you think you were going to get away with stealing from my kitchen in the middle of the day?" Sanji demanded. His day just kept getting worse and worse.

"But you always stay out for hours when you're bringing Nami and Robin drinks," Luffy protested. "How was I supposed to know you were going to come back so soon? I think you cheated."

Rather than responding, Sanji walked over to the counter and picked up a cleaver. "I don't use this on anything but food," he said pleasantly. "So I guess after I kill you, I'm going to have to cook you up."

Luffy backed towards the door with a squeak. "I, uh, I have to go now," he stammered, hands fumbling behind his back for the doorknob. For a harrowing instant, Sanji pictured the knowing expressions on Nami-san, Usopp, and Chopper's faces.

"Wait!" Luffy had managed to crack the door open all of an inch before Sanji slammed it shut with a foot. "Don't open that door!"

"But I don't want to be cooked," Luffy whined. "You'll make me really delicious and then everyone will eat me."

Sanji considered his options. If Luffy tasted like rubber, he could always mask the flavor with grilled onions, sun-dried tomatoes, and a twist of pepper. On the other hand, the ship probably wouldn't sail far without the stupid captain and his too-stupid-to-lose way of dealing with all their problems.

"Fine," he sighed finally. "I won't roast you over a slow fire with peppers. But don't open that door for a while. And don't move. In fact, I want you to sit in that corner, facing the wall, and if your hand stretches over here I will make sure it never comes back. Am I clear?"

"Yessir," Luffy mumbled, breathing a sigh of relief as Sanji put the knife away. "By the way, can I have some meat?"

"NO."

"Stingy."

Sanji tried to ignore Luffy as he began to prepare their dinner. He couldn't go outside and face Nami and Usopp, and there wasn't much else to do now that the dishes were washed and all perishable ingredients carefully checked and rechecked. At least making the familiar motions of cooking was soothing in its repetitiveness. By the time he had finished dicing the onions, he was feeling calm again.

"Luffy." He checked over his shoulder. Miraculously, Luffy hadn't moved from his spot at the wall. He was sitting with his arms curled around his knees, head down. Sanji only hoped the boy wasn't plotting something. "Luffy, since you have nothing better to do, why don't you peel these for me."

"Huh?" Luffy looked up, blinked. For a moment, he looked disoriented, as if interrupted from a dream. Then he seemed to light up in recognition of his surroundings. "Ooh, these look tasty!" he said, bounding over and taking the bowl.

"Peel them," Sanji ordered. "If you eat them raw you'll give yourself a stomach ache."

"Stomach ache?" Luffy tilted his head.

"…Never mind. Sit at the table. Here's the peeler."

Sanji diced the tomatoes next, listening to make sure Luffy wasn't doing anything absurd.

"Chopper told me about what happened in the cave," he began conversationally, after a few moments had passed in silence. He had grown up on the Baratie, where more than twenty cooks worked together in the same kitchen, chatting side by side as they chopped and gutted, grilled and steamed. Even now, he always found himself more talkative when he was cooking. Some habits were hard to break.

"Oh yeah, you were sleeping," Luffy giggled.

"I wasn't sleeping! Ah, but Nami-san is so wonderfully dominating! Who can help but succumb when a goddess commands?"

"Goddess?"

Sanji could picture the head-tilt again. He sighed. "Never mind, you wouldn't understand. I heard what you told Chopper the night we got back, too," he added, as he began to grind the pepper.

"Oh." A pause. "What did I say again?"

"You said you were sure Zoro and Robin-chan would come back."

"Oh yeah. I remember that."

"You also told us to sail on without them," Sanji continued, hardly sure where he was going with this himself. It was just the logical progression of things, like the dough and then the butter and then the filling. "It was the middle of the night, but you said we shouldn't wait."

"Oh yeah. I remember that too. I was bored."

"You really believe in that stupid marimo, do you?"

"Yeah. I do."

"You're sure he and Robin-chan will be back, are you?"

"Yeah. I am."

"It was a good thing that you said to Chopper." Sanji thought about the reindeer applauding as Usopp painted Zoro's makeshift swords, with surprising attention to detail. "It really cheered him up."

"Yeah. He needed it."

"Someone needs to believe." Sanji lit the stove. "It helps the rest of us."

"Good," said Luffy. Sanji could tell he'd stopped peeling. "That's what a captain does. He believes in his nakama. He makes sure his nakama believe in each other too."

"Mm. Well, dinner's not for a few hours." Sanji half turned, but stopped short of looking directly at his captain. It would have been a little like looking directly at the sun, a little like looking at the needle even though you knew it would only hurt more. He turned back to the stove. "You probably won't last until then. I'll cook you some meat."

"Thank you, Sanji."

As the faint, regular sound of the peeler picked up behind him, Sanji shrugged and washed his hands carefully. Without another word, he began to prepare Luffy's next snack.

"Sanji, Luffy!" As he entered the kitchen, the first thing Usopp did was discreetly put two glasses in the sink. Then he continued his announcement, "We saw a Marine ship coming. Not that the great Captain Usopp can't take them all easily, but if you men want to serve as back up to his force of 8000, he would not mind. At all."

"A Marine ship?" Sanji asked. "What do they—"

"Cool! That sounds interesting!" Luffy burst out of the kitchen, meat in hand.

"They're not really attacking us just now," Usopp explained hurriedly. "They might not even have seen us yet."

"Huh. Well, I'd rather not let this soup burn." Sanji gave it a careful stir. "Let me know if I'm needed."

Usopp nodded and headed back out, fitting his goggles over his eyes as he went.

A few minutes later, he identified Nami-san's angelic voice: "All right, they've definitely seen us by now. We're turning—"

"H-h-hold on. They're not Marines."

"Ehhh? Let me see, let me see. Hey, it's the snot guy! Why's he dressed like a fireman? Is there a fire?"

"What? It can't be—"

"Kyahahaha!"

Sanji paused. That had not been Nami-san's voice. He tried to picture a lovely lady to suit that voice, then decided he'd better go see for himself. He took the pot off the stove, set the lid on, and exited.

There was indeed a lovely flower perched on the railing, wearing a lemon-print bandana and large lemon earrings. She was holding a large chocolate cake in the air. Not for much longer, Sanji thought wryly to himself, in that distant part of his brain that wasn't overwhelmed by her lemony beauty.

"Who are you?" Nami-san demanded wonderfully, when it became apparent that Luffy was too busy drooling to ask.

"I'm the Chocolate Lady, kyahahaha!"

"Wow!" Luffy said, around a mouthful of cake. "This is almost as good as Sanji's!"

Chocolate Lady stared at him. "Hey, aren't you—?" Then she looked at her plate. "You took my cake!"

"You're the Chocolate Lady, right? Why don't you just make more?"

"Wait a moment," Usopp announced, aiming his slingshot at Chocolate Lady with trembling fingers. "Aren't you Miss Valentine?"

"How dare you aim your weapon at a lady, Usopp?" Sanji strode forward, fully intending to knock it out of his hand.

"She sat on me!" Usopp protested, not taking his eyes off her. "She sat on me, slowly increasing her weight, intending to crush me slowly and cruelly to death. The great Captain Usopp lay there in great pain as the breath was slowly pressed out of him. Was this the end for our great hero? Just then—"

"Hold it," Sanji interrupted. "How could this delicate flower possibly crush you?"

"What happened next, Usopp?" Chopper asked, tearfully tugging at Usopp's shirt. "Did you escape? Did you die?"

"Kyahahaha!" laughed Miss Valentine, like the clearest of crystal bells. "I ate the Kilo Kilo Fruit. I can change my weight at will!" All at once she stopped talking, suddenly seeming to realize that she was alone on a hostile ship with nothing but an umbrella and a plate of chocolate crumbs with which to defend herself. She glanced nervously over her shoulder at the approaching Marine ship.

"Are those the other Baroque Works agents too?" Nami-san asked, making the clever deduction as always. "What do you want?"

"Ohhh?" Luffy stretched his head up to see over Miss Valentine. "Is Bon Clay there too?"

"Kyahahaha! Bon Clay just saved us from the Marines. He got caught though."

"He saved you?" asked Luffy. "So you're good guys?"

Nami took Luffy by the ear the moment he snapped his head back down. "Mr. 2 is one of the bad guys," she reminded him firmly.

"No, he's good," Luffy protested. Chopper vehemently agreed.

It was at this point that the Marine ship, holding five former Baroque Works Officer Agents, pulled up along the Going Merry.

The six Baroque Works agents and five Strawhat pirates had found seats on and around the Going Merry's deck. Considering that half of them had recently fought the other half in major, life-and-death battles, the atmosphere was unsurprisingly tense. Sanji didn't recognize any of these people; if he'd met them before, it was probably only in passing. He was making up for missed opportunities by trying to strike up conversation with Miss Valentine, who ignored him.

A lovely blue-haired lady had taken a seat next to Nami-san, who glowered in a wonderful way. "You—"

"My name is Paula," she provided helpfully. "I run a café. Well, I ran one, anyway."

"You're Miss Doublefinger!" said Nami-san. "That bandana's not fooling anyone."

"I do prefer Paula."

"You tried to stick me full of spikes!"

"Well, yes, and you electrocuted me," Paula noted calmly. "Considering you walked away afterwards and I didn't, I don't see why you're complaining."

Sanji remembered a bleeding, battle-worn Nami-san being carried by that shitty swordsman (who definitely had not deserved to bear her splendor upon his filthy shoulders). Her clothes had been torn, and her reddened cheeks had only drawn attention to her panting lips… So this blue-haired beauty had been her opponent at that time. Sanji could only imagine the fight that had taken place. Was there mention of spikes? And electricity? "Ah, so wonderful," he murmured, quickly becoming a happy pile of goo.

"Can it!" Nami-san ordered.

"Yes, Nami-swan!"

"And you, don't pick your nose!" Nami-san added.

The fireman hesitated, one finger up his nose.

"Oh yeah," Luffy said. "You can make your snot explode! That was so cool! Can you do it again?"

"NO." Nami-san jumped up. She was so wonderful when she was being commanding. "There will be no explosions! There will be no spikes! There will be no painting and no crushing and no… no…" She waved a hand vaguely at a woman with frazzled hair wearing an oversized princess dress and a fat guy carrying four boxes of pizza. "No whatever it is you people do."

"Mr. 4 hits exploding baseballs," Usopp volunteered. "And Miss Merrychristmas turns into a penguin."

"Mole," Chopper corrected, in a small voice.

"Thank you, Usopp and Chopper. No doing any of that. Don't forget that you've all been beaten up by one of us at one point or another, so don't try anything. Oh, and if that candle guy is here too, we're throwing him off the boat!"

"Mr. 3 got captured too," said a little girl wearing an obviously fake mustache. "I think they're going to send him to Impel Down."

"It'll be okay, Miss," Sanji comforted, standing up to attention. "How about I make you something to eat?"

"Can I have rice crackers?" she asked.

"Of course! Just follow me—"

"Hold it!" Nami-san interrupted. Instantly all eyes turned to her. She was such a natural leader. "I haven't finished with you lot yet, and that means that no one's going off anywhere alone. Especially not you." She pointed a finger at the girl with the mustache. "Do you think we've forgotten what you did? Do you think Luffy's forgotten?"

"Eh?" Luffy stopped chewing on his meat for a moment. "Who is she?"

"It's Miss Goldenweek," Nami-san snapped. "She painted on you so you couldn't save us from that wax set thing!"

Sanji's heart went out to this beautiful, capable woman who had to take care of all the various male idiots on the ship. If there was anything he could do to ease her burden…

"Sanji-kun," Nami-san said sweetly. "Sit back down."

"Yes, Nami-swan! Whatever you say!" Sanji sat.

"Now, let's get this straight." Nami-san continued. "What do you all want?"

"We're not here to attack you," Paula said, tough Nami-san looked like this was the last person she wanted an answer from. "We escaped from the Marines. We just need some supplies."

"And you thought we were some weak sailors you could easily take advantage of, is that right?"

"Something like that," Paula agreed easily, with a sweet smile.

"Not a problem!" Sanji volunteered. "Why don't I take some of you to the galley and we can see what supplies I can give you? Miss Valentine, is it? I have a suggestion for your cake. And Paula-san, you said you ran a café? I'd be honored to compare recipes with you."

"Stop flirting with the girls, Sanji," said Nami-san, but it was too late. Luffy and Chopper were already playing with the tank-dog, and Usopp had hesitantly asked Miss Goldenweek about her painting techniques.

"Don't worry, Nami-swan!" Sanji called, unable to resist lending succor in the face of her distress. "I'll save you some chocolate!"

Nami had a wonderfully strong fist, too.

"It's just that we don't really know what to do now," Paula murmured over a cup of hot chocolate. She was sitting across from Miss Valentine at the galley trestle. Mr. 5 had, for whatever reason, followed Miss Valentine, and was sitting next to her. He had no hot chocolate, but he hadn't yet complained.

"What would you like to do, Paula-san?" Sanji put the finishing touches on his cake, which he delivered to Miss Valentine with a bow. He received melodious laughter for his efforts, and took care not to swoon.

"There aren't that many options open to a former secret agent, now that Baroque Works is gone." Paula slowly stirred the contents of her cup. "There aren't many lines of work that ask for the ability to grow spikes out of your body."

"Your Devil's Fruit powers don't determine what you do," Sanji said. "Otherwise so many Devil's Fruit users wouldn't become pirates and Marines. Doesn't it depend on what you want?"

Nami-san wandered in, casting a critical eye over the occupants of the table. Sanji instantly offered her an eager wave, which she chose not to acknowledge.

"I also wish Mr. 1 had left with us rather than staying in prison," Paula added with a sigh. "The Officer Agent pairs form very close relationships. You learn to bear the responsibility for another life, and in turn you learn to entrust your safety and well being to your partner. After all this time…" She trailed off, and glanced across the table at Miss Valentine and Mr. 5. "You two are very lucky."

After such a heartfelt confession, there was only one thing Sanji felt he could do. He got down on one knee before the blue-haired beauty. "I'll be your partner, Paula-san! Just call me… Mr. Prince!"

Nami-san moved with astonishing agility to hit him in the head. "Don't worry, Nami-swan!" he assured her, "I'll be your partner too!"

"Didn't you say you ran a café, Paula?" Nami-san asked sweetly.

"Yes, I did. Spider's Café." Though his head was crushed under Nami-san's powerful fist, Sanji could hear the wistful smile in Paula's voice. He longed to jump up and soothe away her sorrows, but it was rather wonderful being punched by Nami-san too.

"Well, why don't you go back to that?" Nami-san suggested.

"Nami-swan is so brilliant as always!" Sanji cheered, though he realized his voice might have been a bit muffled.

"It's in Arabasta," Paula said. "I'm sure it's been closed down, now that people know it was the meeting place of Baroque Works."

"Well, why don't you start a new one?" Nami-san suggested. "With such an interesting group of nakama, I'm sure you'd have more than enough help."

"Start a new one?" Paula repeated, and seemed to consider it. "A new Spider's Café. Hmm."

It was a pleased sort of 'Hmm.' Sanji could tell, being a long-time connoisseur of these. He only wished that he could have been the one to elicit it from Paula, but as Nami-san was incredibly intelligent, he supposed it couldn't be helped.

"Talk to the others. Think on it," Nami-san added. "But don't leave just yet! Sanji-kun here is going to treat you all to dinner."

"With pleasure, Nami-swan!"