notes: this is set in season four, and Faith is awake, but the body switcharoo never happened. Just pretend she stuck around Sunnydale but is still the rogue slayer. So, in other words, it's AU.
Also, this one is kinda angsty...BUT, I promise the one I'm working on now will be über-fluffy. I should have it up in the next week or so, because I'm kinda busy, and it's longish. So, on with the story.
disclaimer: Don't own anything. Title belongs to Senses Fail.
Every Day is a Struggle
Faith is laughing.
Here in her old apartment with all the lights out and her back against her bed, J.D. in hand.
She's laughing because last night she fucked Buffy against a crypt in a cold cemetery.
They were fighting. Punch for punch, kick for kick.
And then they were kissing. Hip to hip and heart to heart, trapping Buffy against the rough surface as hard as she could.
The alcohol tastes sour and harsh, burning her throat as it goes down. She needs that right now.
She's laughing because she dug her teeth into Buffy's neck until she tasted metal. She laughs harder because she can practically here the girl stuttering out some lame explanation to her perfect, precious G.I. Joke of a boyfriend as to why his golden girl has a bite mark.
She's laughing because with her nails scraping and teasing the inside of Buffy's thighs, she made her beg for it. And then she knocked the princess off her fucking pedestal.
Faith's laughing and laughing until saltwater falls onto the half-moon cuts on her wrist, and she realizes that she's crying. The tears make the cuts twinge.
She's crying because Buffy dug her claws into Faith's wrist until warm blood bubbled up around and under her fingertips, until Buffy came hard bucking and moaning.
She's crying because she kissed her way back up Buffy's body, and buried her face in the older girl's neck, breathing in the sweat and fading perfume. Sucking on her pulse point and in that moment, ready to whisper 'I love you.'
She's crying because after catching her breath, Buffy ran her fingers softly through Faith's hair and then turned to hiss in her ear 'I hate you so much.'
They never were on the same page.
Faith is crying because Buffy smoothed out her skirt and walked away, leaving Faith on the hard, dirty ground without one glance back.