Timeline: post Chosen
Let's Talk About Spaceships, Pt. 2 of 2
You spent two weeks and three days sleeping in Faith's bed before she would let you hold her.
You dug your nails into her shoulders and closed your eyes, falling apart beneath her. And then you are breathing hard and she is lazily kissing your neck and chin.
This is the part you hate. When the soft kisses and adoring gazes would end. When she would move away and the white chasm of sheets between you and the smooth skin of her back feels like a distance of forever. You hate when she shuts you out.
She doesn't move away tonight. She wraps her arms tentatively around your waist and kisses the top of your head. You try to hide the blissful smile and nuzzle into her neck.
"This is new." You say as you suck at her collarbone. She makes a sound of assent, running her fingers along your spine.
"I thought you didn't do the post-sex cuddle."
"I didn't. Now I do."
"You're tense."
She shifts beneath you, refusing to meet your eyes. She looks so…uncomfortable.
"We don't have to…I mean, you don't have to – " She cuts you off with a light kiss.
"No, it's okay. I want to. If ya like this, then I want to do it." She moves her eyes back to yours and slowly relaxes her body.
Four months, two weeks, and six days later, and you've only been falling further.
It has been exactly three hours and fourteen minutes since she fell asleep sitting on your lap in the huge, cushy chair. Only God knows where Dawn and the other slayers have bounced off to.
You've been watching the whole time, every breath she takes.
You're so scared of her.
Scared of saying it. Of saying it too late.
You think it every time you see her. When she wakes up with mussed hair and a gravelly voice. When she pretends to be listening to Giles drone on about the latest Big Bad, but is really teasing the inside of your thigh, and stealing kisses when no one is looking. When gives you that lopsided grin and winks at you over coffee.
When she slips her hand into yours wherever you are, just so she can stay in contact.
It is always on the tip of your tongue. You are so afraid it will slip out. You don't think you stand watching her walk away.
But you are more scared that she will never even get the chance to hear it. All it takes is one mistake. Your always one careless move away from a swift death.
You run your fingers through her silk hair and swallow hard.
Her eyes flutter open and she smiles up at you, leaning up to kiss your cheek affectionately.
She moves her eyes back to yours, and her smile slowly disappears. She tucks some stray hairs behind your ear, and the way she is looking at you makes it hard to breathe.
"B?"
"Yeah?" Your voice cracks. She looks down at her hands.
"Nothing…I just, I love you. That's all."
She wraps her hands around your neck and rests her cheek against yours.
You smile and kiss her shoulder, whispering your answer into her skin.