disclaimer: Buffy and all her friends are not mine. I'm just playing with them. Title belongs to Meg and Dia.

Nineteen Stars, part 2 of 2

She doesn't knock. She never fucking knocks. And of course, I just had to give her a spare key to my place. And now she's standing here, watching me with those sad, puppy eyes as I hastily pack my shit, trying not to feel guilty.

What the fuck do I have to be sorry for anyway? I'm Faith, for fuck's sake!

Since when do I miss anyone? Since when do I care if I'm missed? I come and go as I please. I'm done with fucking Sunnyhell.

I'm done getting my heart handed to me on a plate.

Maybe if I just don't look at her, I can get away. If she doesn't cry, maybe I can make a clean break. Right.

"Are you going somewhere?" Shit, her voice is all full of emotion. Cracking and wavering and if I see her eyes, it's all over. I'll give in and do whatever the fuck she wants me to.

"Guess so. Been in Sunnyhell way too long. Gotta see the world, y'know?" I refuse to look at her, zipping up my bag as I sling it over my shoulder, keeping my voice apathetic as I can.

"So, that's it? You're just gonna run away without even saying goodbye? Look Faith, if this is about last night, we can just forget it okay?" She's going to cry. I have to get out of here. "We can just forget, and –"

"I can't! I can't just fucking forget!" I shout, finally look at her. God, she's so beautiful, staring at me with wide eyes, tears shining. She opens her mouth and then shuts it again, trying to come up with a response. I feel the tears of anger and frustration burning my eyes as I look away, shaking my head. This is just too hard.

"Whatever. Doesn't matter. I'll catch ya later, B." I say, my voice cracking. I start for the door and feel her hand wrap around my wrist.

"Wait, wait. You – you can't just leave like that! You can't just pick up and leave whenever you feel like it!"

"Really? Cuz last time I checked, I was a free woman, and I can go wherever the fuck I want!" I yank my hand from her grasp and whip around to face her. My anger fades as I see the glittery tears tracking down her cheeks. I feel my heart breaking just a little but more.

"Don't cry, B. I'll – I'll call you, y'know? Check in now and then… I'll visit, okay? I promise." She shakes her head in exasperation. We both know I'm a fucking liar.

"You c-can't leave, Faith! What about everything w-we've been through together? What about us?" She yells, sobbing harder. God, I gonna breakdown any minute. I just wanna hold her.

"There is no 'us', B." I remind her gently. She cries harder, and I can't stop myself. I cup her cheek and wipe away the falling drops with my thumb, my throat burning with sadness. This is why I never say goodbye.

"Please, Faith, please just stay." Maybe. Maybe just for a few more days. Just stop crying, B. Please stop crying.

"Tell me why. Tell why I should stay." I look at her, imploring her with my eyes. Please, B. Give me a reason to stay. Please, just give me reason.

"I- I…Sunnydale needs you! You're a slayer, and there's lots Hellmouthy nasties and evil for you to beat down! You have to stay, it's your destiny!" I pull my hand away, tearing my gaze from hers. I feel disappointment eating away at my gut, my jaw aching and that sour taste you get right before a good cry in my mouth.

"You did fine before I was called. I'm just the second string slayer, B. Besides, it can't hurt to have a traveling slayer, taking care non-Hellmouthy badies. I gotta go, Buffy. I'll see ya later, yeah?"

I'll never see her again. I'll make sure of it.

"Wait, wait! What – What about the Scoobs? You can't leave without saying goodbye! They'll miss you! I- I'll miss you! You can't go…please don't leave, Faith." She whispers.

With my hand on the doorknob, feeling the cold metal in my fingers, I smile sadly.

"Later, B." It takes every ounce of strength I possess to leave her like that. I swing the door open and walk outside, and I don't look back once.

"How far will this get me?"

I push the wadded up bills across the counter. The lady behind the glass gives me an annoyed glare, and looks down at the cash like I just passed her a bucket of snot. She picks it up grudgingly and begins counting it.

I pull my leather jacket closer and hug myself, gazing warily around the bus station. Why is it so damn cold? I'm in California for fuck's sake! False advertising, that's what it is. It's not always sunshine and flowers here.

Still got nothing on Boston, though.

I smile momentarily, remembering something Xander told me other day, about the weather here. 'Don't like the weather in California? Wait five minutes.'

And then I stop smiling because I'm never gonna see Xander again. I guess I won't get to mock G-man and his tweedy glory anymore, either.

I hug myself tighter. This station smells like piss.

I'll miss Tara too, man that chick is nice. And Christ, Anya, she's wicked weird, but I can't say she's ever boring. Hell, I'm even starting to miss Red and her god damned babbling.

And Buffy…Jesus, I can't even go there.

Maybe…Maybe I should have stayed to say goodbye. One more day wouldn't kill me, would it?

I shake my head and blink away those thoughts. No. I gotta make it outta here. Gotta make a clean break.

"Nevada."

I glance up at the ticket lady.

Nevada huh? Not exactly the cross continental escape I had in mind, but when life hands you lemons…

Prostitutes and gambling. Sounds like my kinda town.

"I'll take it."

With ticket in hand, I plop my shit down and sink into a bench. I bring my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them. And I wait.

When the bus finally pulls up, I'm still not ready. I stand up and sling my pack over my shoulder and I just stand there. C'mon, move feet! MOVE!

And then I'm walking, every step making my chest constrict more. I feel like I'm suffocating here. What the hell did I do to deserve this? The bus doors hiss and creak open and I'm having trouble breathing. Leaving has never hurt like this before.

I stop with my foot on the first step. The bus driver looks down at me and raises an eyebrow.

"You comin'?" He grunts.

I shake my head and pull myself up the stairs, regret coursing through my entire body.

"Faith!"

I stop and close my eyes. Maybe I'm hearing things.

"Faith, wait!"

Guess not. I'd know her voice any day. I shouldn't turn around. I know I should just take that last step and get the fuck away from here. But I can't. I just stop, paralyzed by her voice.

And then she's tugging me down the stairs, and then I facing her.

Here eyes are red from crying and shining with determination, her cheeks glowing with anger. Her jaw is clenched and before I can say a word, her arms slip around my waist and pull me flush to her body.

I let out a surprised squeak (which, by the way, is not a very dignified noise) and my bag slides off my shoulder and falls to the ground.

"Lemme try this again, okay?"

Before I can respond, her lips are glued to mine, kissing me hard as she pushes me against the bus, her arms pinning mine above my head. After getting over the initial shock, I kiss her back just as hungrily, my tongue sliding over hers as she releases my wrists and wraps her arms around my lower back. My heart is bouncing around my chest like a hummingbird on crack, and I cup her face with one hand, letting the other run through the softness of her hair.

She growls and moans as I bite and suck her lower lip, and I don't think I've ever been so fucking turned on.

She breaks away, leaving me gasping for air and my head spinning. She drops butterfly kisses all over my face and neck as I recover, her hands moving up and down my back. When I catch my breath and come back to Earth, she pulls away slightly, gazing into my eyes as she tucks some stray locks of hair behind my ear.

"Stay, Faith. Stay because I need you. Not Sunnydale, not the Scoobs, I need you, okay?"

"Okay." My voice comes out strained and shaky, but right now I couldn't give a fuck.

She smiles brilliantly, and the fluttering in my chest nearly causes me to pass out with happiness. She leans in and brushes her lips against mine, nuzzling against my cheek before kissing me again. I smile against her lips and pull her close.

"So…you comin' or not?" The driver grunts, having been privileged to the entire show. Buffy pulls away, smirking at me.

"Not. We're going home." She says and slips her hand into mine, tugging me away from the bus and towards…home.

Yeah. That sounds just fine to me.