DAY ONE: FIRST DAY IN THE HOUSE

(I don't own anyone)

Cloud was able to get up that day even after drinking a lot of booze. The hang over kept him from standing up straight and from standing at all until he put an ice pack over his head. He headed down stairs where he jumped onto the couch to find Kadaj watching the Grudge.

"G'morning, big brother." said Kadaj.

"Easy for you to say…" he said.

"Aww, you didn't have that many drinks." he said, then he thought about it. "Oh wait, maybe you did..."

"What are you watching?" asked Cloud leaning his head on the arm rest.

"The Grudge." he said. "It's Yazoo's favorite."

"Where is Yazoo?" he asked.

"He's with Loz getting everyone up and out of bed." he said.

As Kadaj and Cloud spoke, Loz and Yazoo were walking up and down the halls banging an aluminum bat around inside a metal garbage can. "RAISE AND SHINE!"

"Time to get up!" yelled Yazoo. "Dante's almost done with breakfast!"

Kamille did his best to block out the noise, but when he couldn't take much more of it; he stuck his head out and threw a shoe at Yazoo's head. "Shut up!"

Yazoo took the shoe to the head and turned around to see Kamille before he closed his door. "I saw that punk!"

"Relax." said Loz continuing his noisy wake up call. "GET UP, PEOPLES!"

Everyone managed to get up and out of bed to get the nessesary hygiene procedures done before breakfast. Dante and Veemon/Flamdramon where always up early to make breakfast for everyone.

Everyone came in one by one to the dining room usually in their clothes or bath robes. "Do we ever get a day to sleep in?" asked Sango.

"Not while we're here I'm guessing." said Roxas rubbing his eye.

Dante was in the kitchen with Flamdramon making food. "Are you sure we made enough pancakes?" asked Flamdramon.

"Yes, depending on the stomach capacity of all of the family members." said Dante. "This is just the right amount."

"Okay…" he said looking at the stacks. "How many did we make?"

"36." Dante said.

"Yeah, that sounds like enough." he said.

They both came in at the same time with fresh pancakes. "Breakfast is served fools!"

Everyone look at the stack in amazement. Then Davis started looking around. "…12…13…14...hey, we're short two people."

Yuffie started counting everyone on her fingers. "He's right."

"Where the old guy…Snake, was it?" asked Dante.

"Yeah and…." Tails was cut off by the sound of something crawling through the air vents.

"We have rats?" asked Kamille trying to trace the sound as it travels through the ceiling.

"Sounds more like a capybara." said Yazoo looking up.

Then one of the air vents fell off the ceiling and Snake jumped out. "I am here!"

"You travel through air vents?" asked Dante.

"In my line of work, you have to be like the wind." He said taking a seat. "Silent and unnoticeable."

"Good luck with that." said Cloud.

"Oh, no wonder I wasn't getting any air conditioning." said Samus. "There's an old guy blocking it."

"Old?" Snake asked.

"But we're short one person still." said Davis.

"Did you forget to count yourself?" asked Alia.

"Huh?" Davis counted over again. "…13…14…15…16…yeah…"

"Steve, you're hopeless." said Kamille.

"Why do you call him Steve?" asked Yuffie.

"That's his nickname." said Kadaj.

"Since when was Steve a nickname?" asked Samus.

"It ain't." said Snake eating his pancake off his boot knife.

"I actually like my nickname, its funny." said Davis.

Roxas raises an eyebrow. "I need better friends…"

"Actually Steve is a common first name usually used for Americans of white skin color." said Alia.

"Smart ass." said Kadaj.

"Well, we couldn't call him Tyrone." said Kamille. "It would be like…"

"Calling you Latoya?" asked Alia.

Kamille glared at her. "Sonova Bitch!" he said grabbing a salt shaker and throwing some into her eyes after taking the top off.

Alia just blinked a few times and move them around to get some of the salt out. "That didn't hurt."

Kamille grabbed Snakes knife and sliced her across the face with it. "Hey, my knife, punk!" said Snake.

"Aaaaaah! My eye!" she yelled falling out of her chair covering her right eye.

"That's for making fun of me having a girl's name!" he said before he looked down to see her eye rolling across the table. "…oops…"

"Eeeeew!" yelled Yuffie. "Eye on the table!"

"Holy Hell!" yelling Davis wacking it away from him into Yazoo's pancakes.

"Gaaaaaah!" yelled Yazoo throwing his plate across the room and hitting Cloud in the face.

"I can't see!" yelled Cloud getting out of his chair and felling around in front of him. Not knowingly, he grabbed Samus's breasts in all of the commotion.

"You pervert, Cloud!" she yelled grabbing his shirt collar and punching him in the face.

"My knife, punk!" yelled Snake grabbing Kamille's shirt and punching him in the jaw. The punch caused Kamille to lose his grip and throw the knife into Shadow's chest.

"Gak!" yelled Shadow before he fell over.

Kamille fell on Veemon when he lost balance. "Hey, you Sonova pig!" he yelled before digivolving into Imperialdramon. "Supreme Positron Laser!" he yelled blasting it a Kamille, but he ducked from it and he blasted Davis, who exploded into several charred body parts.

"Ha!" said Kamille. "Missed me!" His smart mouth earned him a punch from ExVeemon and he was rewarded with a kick to the groin by Kamille.

Sango grabbed Davis's head as it flew to her. "Aaaaaah! Steve's head!" she yelled as she threw it unknowing that it would hit Samus in the back of hers.

Samus turned after feeling the hit of Davis's head and hers. "You bitch!" she yelled as she jumped onto Sango and started kicking and pulling on her clothes.

Everyone except Dante, Tails, and Roxas were in a large conflict in the dining room. "Man…this sucks…" said Roxas.

"I make them breakfast and this is how they repay me?" said Dante.

Tails looks down and found Alia's eye rolling to his foot. "Oh, here it is." he said after seeing Alia crawling around for it.

"What's that?" asked Roxas.

"The cause of this crazy brawl." said Tails showing it to Roxas. "It's Alia's eye."

Roxas widened his eyes at the sight of it. "…"

"Well, first days are always the worst." said Dante.

That Afternoon…

Alia just got finished wrapping a bandage over her right eye after placing it back in place, plus everyone was now in bandages, casts, chairs, and ice packs. Davis and Shadow amazingly lived.

"Well everyone, we have just experienced our first morning together." said Dante. "And we can safely say it sucked ass."

"Yeah…" said everyone.

"Let's don't try to kill each other the rest of the three years." he said. "We're family."

"I guess we can call that a family feud, then?" asked Shadow.

"We really need to start getting along." said Samus as she signed Yazoo's cast.

"I hate all of you." said Kamille.

"No one cares anymore!" they all said.

"Alright, it's time we started to treat each other like family and less killing each other." said Roxas.

"Awww, but I want to screw Sango." said Davis who doesn't have a scratch on him, even after exploding.

"I never said treat each other like we where blood related." said Dante. "I don't really care who you fuck or kill, just don't do a lot of killing."

"Why?" asked Shadow. "As long as we're with each other we can't die."

"Do you think we want the people who are watching this to get a bad impression of us?" asked Tails. "I mean, Steve just exploded, which might have already given us an R rating."

"And Cloud groped Samus." said Loz drawing pictures on his brother's cast.

"Let's just keep the adult content to a minimal." said Alia.

"I'm okay with that." said Yuffie.

"Can I still carry a gun?" asked Snake.

"Sure." said Roxas.

"Alright, it's settled." said Tails.

Everyone agreed to not try to kill each other so much for now on, but that never stopped any of them from pulling mean jokes on each other or hating one another's guts. People like Shadow or Kamille start up bad relation ships very fast, and boy do things happen fast when all of these characters live under one roof.

After quickly recovering from his injuries, Snake continued to fix up his room to his liking. He started painting the walls to look like camouflage and he put up a hammock after throwing his bed out the window on top of Shadow. Roxas had his room painted black and white with matching furniture and items that made him feel at home. Samus threw out most of the furniture that she didn't need and put up a bunch of electronic equipment so that she can work at home.

Veemon and Tails began to build a friendship as they began to play Super Smash Brothers with each other. Tails, for some reason, can't beat Veemon.

"So Kadaj, do you think this arrangement will go well?" asked Cloud.

"Probably not." said Kadaj hitting the 13 ball on the poll table into a corner pocket. "After the damage we did this morning, we probably won't last a year."

"Awww." said Yuffie. "Can't you be a little more positive?"

"Look, Alia lost an eye, Steve exploded, and Shadow took a knife to his heart." said Cloud. "Kadaj might be right."

"I'll be back." said Kadaj as he left the room. "Gotta' get some grub." He left the game room and headed down the halls before he met up with Davis. "Hey, Steve."

"Sup, Kadaj?" he said walking past him to his room.

Kadaj came to the kitchen and found Alia going through the cabinets. "Ummm, what are you doing?" he asked.

She turned around. "Oh, I'm alphabetizing." she said.

"Alpha-what?" said Kadaj. "Don't use big words around me."

"It's not a big word." she said. "Anyways, it means to put two or more objects in a chronological order depending on the beginning letter of that object's position in the alphabet."

Kadaj stood there clueless. "…ummm…does that explanation come in English?"

"I was speaking English." she said.

"Then talk slower." he said. "You use so many complex sentences I didn't understand you at all."

She sighed and walked up to him. "Kadaj, can I ask you something?"

"Ummm…yeah…" he said.

"It may sound offensive…" she said crossing her arms. "…Kadaj, are you really that stupid?"

"Sometimes…" he said. Then he noticed Davis sitting next to an open oven with sunglasses and swim trunks. "How long have you been there?"

"Not very long." said Davis.

"Davis…" started Alia.

"Steve." said Kadaj.

"…Davis, what are you doing?" she asked.

"Getting a tan." he said. "It works."

"That's using up the fuel in the oven, don't do that!" she said.

"Why?" he asked. "I want to get a tan."

"Then go outside." said Kadaj. "It's a wonderful sunny day out."

"So?" said Davis taking off his glasses to show the difference in skin color. "It's only 62 degrees out and home appliances work great." Then the oven turned off and Alia stood over him with the plug. "Hey, put the plug back in!"

"I'm surrounded by idiots." said Alia before a knife flew past her face.

"I resent that!" yelled Snake from the kitchen door.

"Sorry, sir." she said grabbing Davis. "Get out of here kid, I'd hate to see what you do with other machines."

"Fine, I wanted to leave anyways!" he said walking out of the room.

"What's wrong with what he's doing?" asked Kadaj. "If the oven breaks, then just replace it."

"Machines have feelings too!" she said closing the oven.

"No they don't." said Kadaj, "Or my bike would be complaining about the rocky terrain I always drive on."

"They do have feelings." she said. "I know this my self." She said before opening another cabinet. Once she did green slim started spilling out of it and all over her body. Kadaj tried to hold his laughter in but he couldn't stop the tears. "This isn't funny…"

"Oh yes, it is!" said Kamille jumping out of the pantry holding his gut as he laughed his head off. "Kadaj and I planed this from the start!"

"What!" she said looking up and down her slim covered armor. "I hate your guts, Kamille!"

"I hate yours too!" he said running out of the kitchen. "Sucker!"

She ignored Kamille and looked at Kadaj who was still laughing. "Leave…"

"Why should I?" he said before she punched a gapping hole in the wall. "I'm going to leave anyways…to take a piss."

Later that night. Everyone gathered around for their first dinner by Dante. They each all hoped that they don't kill each other after they eat, but most of the boys hoped that Sango and Samus get into another cat fight. Davis got a tan after all and Alia came to the table wearing purple armor.

"Dinner is served!" said Dante walking out with a large cart filled with different trays of food. "And I broke my back in making it, so if it tastes bad, don't tell me!"

Everyone began eating what he made and continued already begun conversations. Snake once again ate with his trusty boot knife while others ate with forks, spoons, steak knives, and chop sticks.

"Hey Dante, this is good." said Tails.

"Yeah, it's better than the steak at those fancy restaurants." said Samus.

"Good shit, Dante." said Snake stabbing into it.

"Not bad." said Kadaj.

"Thanks everyone." said Dante. "It was a pain hunting for it."

"This wasn't bought?" asked Samus.

"Nope, I had to search into the deep depths of the demon realm to find it." said Dante. "They're never store bought."

"So this is a demon?" asked Yuffie.

"Not bad." said Sango.

"Really? It's one of those fat worm demons that feed of your excrement after it's dumped out into the sewage yards in the wastelands." said Dante. "Juicy isn't it?"

Loz vomits whatever was in his mouth onto the ground. Tails starts brushing his tongue with a large brush. Sango starts drinking a gallon container of water. Snake continues to eat it with some of it sticking out of his mouth. Veemon starts sticking his finger in the back of his mouth to vomit his food up.

"Better than my mom's cooking." said Kamille putting more of it into his mouth.

Alia ran into the bathroom to vomit. Cloud started to brush his teeth with his tooth brush. Shadow's eyes rolled back into his head and he fainted.

"I ain't gonna die, so I don't care." said Davis eating his plate of it as Kamille took the rest off Yazoo's plate.

"At least you fuckers didn't say my food sucked." said Dante.

END DAY ONE…

COMING UP NEXT: DAY TWO: A TRIP TO THE BEACH