DAY THREE: TRUTH OR DARE
(…still don't own anyone…)
It appeared that the family of crazy, psychotic, stupid, sadistic, or retarded people has started to get use to each other's personality. But just because they get use to that doesn't mean that they get along with everyone. Actually, they seem to be getting along pretty well, most of them anyways.
"Hey, Roxas!" yelled Dante throughout the house. "Come outside, we're going to play soccer!"
Roxas walked down the stairs and looked at the teams with his tired eyes. Team one was: Kamille, Kadaj, Davis, and Dante. Team two consisted of: Shadow, Yazoo, Loz, Tails, and Yuffie. "It's 5:30 in the morning…"
"Yeah, isn't it great?" said Kadaj. "You're on our team."
"I'm the referee." said Snake pumping a sand bag rifle.
"…all right…" said Roxas, "Let me get my shoes…"
Out on the field, Snake got a lawn chair and sat on the side of the field as Kadaj and Shadow get ready for the beginning kick. If you where standing against the wall of the house and facing the backyard, Kadaj's team was on the right and Shadow's team was on the left. "You're going down, little man." said Kadaj.
"After you, queer." said Shadow. "You can't beat me; I'm the ultimate life form!"
"That's great, man." said Kadaj.
Snake got up from his chair and walked over to the center with the ball. "Now, I want to see a good game." he said. "And if I see any rules broken, I have my gun over there."
"Now let's play ball, maggots!" he said throwing the ball in the air.
Kadaj was the first to get to it since he was taller than Shadow and hit it off his head. "Curse my height!" said Shadow.
Kadaj was running down the field with the ball with Dante trailing behind him. Yazoo, who was quicker than Kadaj, got the ball and headed to his goal which was guarded by Roxas. "Too fast for ya, brother!"
But Dante went down there as well to retrieve the ball. Yazoo kept good control over it until he came to Davis. "Move, Steve!"
"Nope." said Davis. "Dante said stand here and make sure the ball is in front of you."
"Okay." said Yazoo going around Davis, waiting for him was Kamille. Before Yazoo could react, Kamille took control of the ball and kicked it over to the other side of the field. "Hey!"
Yuffie looked up and saw the ball heading to her face. "Oh, crap!" she said. Her first reaction was to close her eyes and hold her hands out in front of her. Her hands hit the ball away, but once she did, a sand bag hit her right forearm. "Owwww!!!"
"No hands!!" said Snake pumping his rifle again.
Dante took control of the ball now. "Check this out!" he said kicking the high into the air. Then he jumped up, did a perfect back flip, and kicked the ball in the direction of the goal.
"He's going to score!" said Davis.
"It's going into the neighbor's yard!" said Kamille.
Roxas's eyes followed the ball "And it's going into that…"
Crash!
"…window."
Dante landed. "Aww man."
"Way to go, dick head." said Loz. "If we're sued, you're paying it."
"Relax." said Dante. "That house has been vacant ever since we got here, no one lives there." To his surprise, a woman with purple hair and red eyes walked over to the window from inside the house with the ball in one hand and the other rubbing the back of her head. "I stand corrected."
"First week in America, and I need to replace the window…" said the woman.
"You're paying." repeated Loz to Dante.
The woman looked at the soccer players and looked at the ball. "Is this your ball?"
"Umm, yes." said Kadaj. "And, umm, welcome to Elm Street, the best street in all of San Francisco!"
"Gee, thanks." she said. "So, which one of you asses broke my window?" Everyone looks to Dante. "Worst kick I've ever seen if you where trying to make it into the goal."
"Actually, it was pretty cool." said Davis.
"Shut up, Steve." said Dante.
"Hey, who are you?" asked Kamille.
"You can call me Miss Kusanagi." she said.
"What's your first name?" asked Davis.
"Just call me Miss Kusanagi for now." she answered. She tossed the ball up and spiked it to them. It hit Tails and he flew back a few yards. Then she left the window.
"Strong woman." said Roxas.
"Fine as hell, too." said Dante. "Did you see her boobs?" Just then, a crack of thunder was heard. Everyone looked to the sky. "Okay game over, my team won." He ran to the house.
"Hey!" said Yazoo following him. "You missed the goal!"
Everyone headed to the house. Kamille stopped to see Davis walking over to the ball to pick it up. "Hurry up, Steve!" he called.
Davis turned to him and smiled. "Relax, what's the worst that could happen?" After his picks up the ball bolts of lightning came down and struck him three times.
"Holy hell!!" said Loz.
Davis, now looking like a burnt hamburger, started stumbling around. "Don't worry, I'm fine…" he said.
After a while, everyone gathered in the living room to sit down and discuss what to do next. "Well…" started Samus. "I can always go to my room and pay the bills."
"Those aren't due until next month." said Dante as he jumped onto the couch.
"I have some cards, we can play poker." said Cloud.
"Yeah, let's invite the lady next door so we can play strip poker!" said Kadaj.
"Naw." said Flamdramon gulping down a bottle of beer. "Half of us don't even know how to play." He placed the bottle on the table and it fell over and started turning in place. Everyone stared at the spinning bottle before it stopped and pointed to Sango. "What's so important about an empty beer bottle?"
"…are you thinking what I'm thinking…?" asked Dante.
"He should have put that in the recycling?" asked Alia.
"No, you walking trash can!" said Kamille. "He means we can play a game with the bottle!"
"Let's play Truth or Dare!" said Davis.
"Looks like someone was thinking the same thing." said Dante.
"Me first!" said Flamdramon. "It's my bottle!" He grabbed the bottle and spun it. The bottle spun for a while before it landed on Yuffie. "Truth or dare?"
"Ummm, truth." she said.
"Pussy." said Loz.
"Is it true that you're a virgin?" asked Flamdramon.
"Yeah, so?" said Yuffie.
"Sad." said Yazoo. "And you're 18."
"So?" said Yuffie. "How old are you?"
"Two in reality." he said. "Who cares if I'm a virgin?"
"Whatever!" said Yuffie spinning the bottle. The bottle spun for 5 seconds and landed on Kamille. "Kamille, truth or dare?"
"Dare me." He said yawning and leaning back.
"I dare you to hug Roxas."
Kamille stood silent for a second. "Just because I have a girl's name doesn't mean I'm gay."
"It's a dare, buddy." said Dante.
Roxas looked at Kamille. "...well… it could be worse…" Kamille leaned over slightly and hugged him.
"Good boy." said Yuffie.
"My turn." said Kamille. He spun the bottle. It spun for 6 seconds and landed on Samus. "Truth or dare?!"
"Umm, truth." said Samus.
"Yep, I knew you where a pussy." said Snake.
"Fine, dare me!" she said crossing her arms and legs.
"Cool!" he said. "I dare you to kiss Sango."
Samus raised an eye brow and looked at Sango.
"Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!" chanted all of the boys, well, except for Cloud, Snake, and Shadow.
"All right, all right…" said Samus, "Just shut up."
Sango and Samus faced each other and started up a long kiss. Everyone cheered again and Dante took another picture with his phone. They stopped after 10 seconds.
"Ten good seconds of lesbian action!" said Kadaj. "Alright!"
"What is up with you guys and lesbians?" asked Sango.
Samus spun the bottle and after 4 seconds, it landed on Flamdramon. He gulped. "Truth or dare?"
"………truth…" he said.
"Okay, is it true that you can be deleted if you come in contact with a magnet?" asked Samus.
"Apparently, no." he said. "I may be a digital monster, but outside my world I'm as real as any of you people." Flamdramon spun the bottle again and it spun to Snake. "Solid Snake, truth or dare?"
"Truth." He said. "I have my pride and I don't want to be disgraced by some perverted dare."
"Fine, is it true that you put on this tough-guy-gun-wielding-high-ranking-soldier attitude to cover up for something?" he asked.
Snake laughed at his question. "Fool! I have nothing to hide." he said with confidence. "So the answer is no!" He kicked the bottle and it started to spin. It landed on Cloud. "Well, well, well…"
"Crap…" said Cloud.
"Truth or Dare?" he said pulling out his magnum. "And it better be dare."
"Fine dare." He said. "Just don't point that at me."
"I command you to shave off all of your hair." he said.
Everyone looked at Cloud and imagined what he'd look like without his hair.
Cloud thought about it for a minute. More like 5, no 12. "I'll pass."
"Fine." said Snake as he spun the bottle again. It landed on Kadaj. "Truth or dare, weirdo."
"I'll do dare." said Kadaj.
"I dare you to kick Shadow in the face." said Snake.
Kadaj sat up and looked to Shadow. "Okay."
Shadow backed away. "Touch me and I'll put seventeen holes in your lungs!"
"Not without this." said Kamille holding Shadow's gun in his hand.
"My gun!" said Shadow.
"I got practice from soccer!" Kadaj walked up and kicked him in the face which sent him into the wall. "He's lighter than he looks."
"Or you're stronger than you look." said Tails.
"Is it my turn now?" he asked.
"Yes." said Roxas.
Kadaj spun the bottle and it spun for a few seconds before landing on Davis. "Truth or dare?"
"Dare me." he said smiling.
"I dare you to take my sword," he said pulling it out from its sheath. "And run it through your heart."
"You're crazy, Kadaj!" said Sango.
"That'll kill him!" said Alia.
"Okay!" said Davis. He grabbed Kadaj's sword and stabbed himself into his chest all the way to the hilt. Blood sprayed out of him as the blade came out his back. "See? Nothing to it."
Kadaj looked at his injury. "…Steve, are you okay…?"
"Sure."
"Um, okay…it's your turn now…" he said.
"Cool." said Davis. He reached over and spun the bottle. It landed on Sango. "Truth or dare."
"Umm…dare." she said.
"Cool, I dare you to take off your kimono!" he said.
"We get to see Sango naked?" asked Loz. "Sweet!"
"Okay." said Sango with a smile.
"Holy shit, really?" said Davis.
"Sure." She said untying the fabric around her waist that held it closed. Then she removed the green cloth in front of it.
"This will be great!" said Kamille.
Then she took her whole kimono off to reveal a black full body outfit with pink armor. "Done."
"…you had that on the whole time…?" asked Dante.
"Sure." she said. "Is it my turn now?"
"Steve, you wasted your turn." said Kamille.
Sango spun the bottle and it landed on Roxas. "Okay, Roxas."
"Oh, crap…" he said.
"Truth or dare."
"Umm, dare." he said sweating a little. "What's the worst you could make me do?"
"Corn-hole Flamdramon." said Yazoo. Roxas gulped.
"I dare you to sing Jesse McCartney's Beautiful Soul." said Sango.
Dante spat out his beer.
"What?!" said Roxas. "Why do you want me to do that?!"
"Because your American voice actor for Kingdom Hearts II was Jesse McCartney." said Yuffie. "C'mon, do it!"
"No, please!" said Roxas. "I skip!"
"Okay." said Sango spinning again. It pointed to the wall. "Huh?"
Kadaj walked over to the window and looked out it. "The bottle is pointing to the Zeta Gundam."
"But the Zeta Gundam can't do anything unless Kamille's in it other than sit in the drive way." said Tails.
"Then let me spin again." Sango grabbed the bottle and spun it. It landed on a livelier person: Yazoo. "Yazoo, truth or dare."
"Umm, I quit."
"Huh?" said Kadaj.
"I don't want to be dared to do something crazy, stupid, perverted, homosexual, or suicidal." He said. "I'm going to drive out to the mall." he got up from his chair and walked to the garage.
"I'm coming too!" said Loz following him.
"Shotgun!" said Kadaj running after them after pulling his sword out of Steve's chest.
Everyone looked at each other as the brothers left. "Actually, the mall seems like a good idea." said Roxas.
TO BE CONTINUED…
NEXT: DAY FOUR: DON'T MESS WITH VOODOO