DAY FOUR: DON'T MESS WITH VOODOO
(Still don't own anyone except Ahmed, who works at a Seven Eleven)
Kadaj, Yazoo, Loz, Dante, and Kamille drove out to get some fresh air and spend some time screwing around. Dante drove them around with Kamille sitting shotgun and the three brothers sitting in back. "Shopping at the mall was great." said Loz.
"Yeah, so many nice girls." said Yazoo.
"I need to get some grub, guys." said Dante.
"Then let's stop some where." said Kamille.
Kadaj looked out the window. "Hey look guys, Ahmed's Seven Eleven!"
"Say what?" said Dante.
"Got to the Seven Eleven, we know someone there!" said Yazoo.
Dante pulled up to the Seven Eleven and parked in the parking lot. "Why are we here?"
"For grub." said Loz. Dante and the others headed into the store and Kadaj walked up to the desk.
"Hey, Ahmed!"
The door to the storage room came open and a man with very dark skin peaked out. "Oh, it's you!" said the man in a strong Middle Eastern accent. "Welcome back, my friend!"
"Hi, Ahmed!" said Yazoo.
"Who's this guy?" asked Dante.
"He works here." said Loz.
Dante and Kamille walk up to the desk. "Oh, who are these two?"
"These are Dante and Kamille." said Loz. "Our friends."
"Hi, Ahmed, how's the opium dealing going?" asked Dante.
Everyone fell silent.
"Blown up any buildings lately?" asked Kamille. Both of them laughed like crazy.
Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz dropped their jaws. Kadaj looked to Ahmed. "Th-they didn't really mean that…"
"Hey, how many of your friends blew themselves up?" asked Dante still laughing.
"C'mon guys, that's enough!" said Yazoo.
"What? Rag-head jokes are funny." said Kamille.
"Rag-head?!" said Ahmed.
"He didn't mean that either!" said Kadaj.
"You dare insult my culture?!" said Ahmed.
"What are you going to do? Call the Al-Queda on us?" said Dante laughing.
Loz grabbed his head and gripped his teeth.
"That is it!" Ahmed started drawing some weird symbol on the table of the store and started chanting something. Then he reached under the desk and pulled out a live chicken and a cleaver. He placed the chicken's head on the table and chopped it off with the cleaver. "Done."
"What the fuck was that?" said Kamille.
"I have cursed you!" he said. "The next day, your actions match your age."
"Oooo, a scary curse!" said Dante.
"Guys, before you make any more jokes to make this any worse, I suggest we just buy something and leave." said Kadaj. "I'm so sorry, Ahmed."
"Why should you apologize?" he said. "Those two dip-shits should be the ones apologizing!"
"I'll buy something, how about some weapons of mass destruction?" said Dante.
"In the name of Allah…GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORE!"
At the house…
"Home at last." said Kamille after getting home with the others at 10:46 in the afternoon.
"I can't believe you did that to Ahmed!" said Kadaj.
"Hey, it was funny." He said going to his room. "I'm hitting the sack."
"He put a curse on you!" said Kadaj.
"If Dante doesn't have to worry about it, then neither do I."
Kadaj sighed as Kamille closed the door and Samus walked over to him after hearing the yelling. "He's going to get it now…"
"Get what?" asked Samus holding a basket of laundry.
"Ahmed from the Seven Eleven put a curse on him." said Kadaj.
"Well for all I know, there's no such thing as a curse." said Samus.
"Then you're about to change your mind." said Yazoo.
DAY FOUR: DON'T MESS WITH VOODOO PT. 2
Everyone was sitting down at the breakfast table after making their own breakfast since Dante wasn't up to make it. He was the house cook. "Where's Dante?" asked Yuffie.
"Where's Kamille?" asked Roxas.
"I think they're sleeping in." said Sango.
"Dante never sleeps in." said Flamdramon. "We always wake up early to make breakfast."
"Well, he could be hung over." said Cloud.
"Or…it's the curse…" said Loz.
"Bull shit, I've traveled from one galaxy to the next and I've learned that there's no such thing as a curse." said Samus.
"Damn, I just fell down the stairs today." Everyone turned to the door; they expected to see Kamille since they heard his voice, but no one was there, then they looked down to see an unbelievable sight. "Hey, how did you all get so damn big?" Kamille was almost the same size of Tails.
Everyone dropped their jaws. "Holy…crap…" said Samus.
"Told ya." said Yazoo.
"Kamille…?" said Alia.
"What?" he said. He looked down at himself. "OMIGOD!!"
"He's a kid!" said Yuffie.
"I don't believe it." said Cloud.
Snake stared. "…"
"Holy shit!" said Kamille. "That guy did curse me!"
"If you're a kid…then Dante…"
"Dante's like a thousand years old, if the curse only knocked off twelve years of Kamille's life, then Dante shouldn't be easily affected." said Sango.
Dante bursted in through the door. "Okay Flamdramon, let's get cracken'!" He looked to his left. "Hey, Kamille." Then he noticed that he was looking at Kamille without looking down. "Hey, how did you get so damn big?" Then he looked at everyone else that gathered around them. "Hey, how did you all get so damn big?"
"Dante, you have been cursed!" said Flamdramon.
"Oh, the guy from the Seven Eleven, right?" he said.
"Okay, I believe in curses." said Samus.
"You guys shouldn't have made those jokes." said Kadaj.
"Hey, I couldn't help myself." said Dante.
"Neither can you help yourself now." said Loz.
"Okay we get it, we screwed up!" said Kamille. "Now what do we do?!"
"You can apologize to him." said Yazoo.
"Apologize!?" said Dante. "The guy used voodoo on us!"
"He's from Iraq, not India." said Yazoo.
"Hey Samus, you go to this Ahmed and fine a way to reverse the curse." said Cloud.
"What?" said Samus. "I don't know the first thing about curses, I didn't believe in them up until now!"
"Now you can learn." said Kadaj. "I'm sure Ahmed will help someone like you."
"Fine, but you guys will have to do something with those two." said Samus walking out of the room.
Dante and Kamille looked at the others. "…this sucks…" said Kamille.
"My brother will kill me if he saw me right now." said Dante. "Actually, he'll kill me when ever he sees me any day of the week."
The Seven Eleven…
Samus drove out to the Seven Eleven where Ahmed worked. "This must be the place." She parked and walked in. "I can't believe I have to get involved in this…"
Samus entered and Ahmed watched her enter. "Oh, welcome to my store, how may I help you?"
Samus walked up to the front desk and sat her arms down on it. "I'm Samus Aran; I'm here regarding the fact that you put a curse on two idiots that live with me."
"You are related to those pricks?" asked Ahmed.
"What? No I'm not related, I'm part of the reality TV show called Draw Together." she said. "I was picked with those guys."
"Sounds like it sucks to be with them." said Ahmed.
"Just tell me how to reverse the curse." she said.
"For a price." said Ahmed.
Samus sighed. "What do you want?" she asked.
"$25." he said.
"Okay."
"In Cornarian credits."
"…excuse me?" she asked.
"You must get me 25 Cornarian credits from the planet Cornaria in 24 hours." he said. "I have a money collection and I need Cornarian credits to help me get closer to completing it."
"I can't go to another planet right now, I just dropped my ship off at the repair shop." said Samus.
"Then no cure."
"Fine, I'll just fine my own transportation." said Samus walking out of the store.
Ahmed watched her walk out and get into her car. "That's a fine white woman."
At the house…
Dante jumped up and down trying to get the TV remote off the top of the TV screen. "Dammit, I can't reach!"
"Just use the buttons at the bottom of the screen, Dante." said Kamille sitting on the couch.
"Then I'd have to get up and change the channel every time!" said Dante.
"Well its good exercise." said Kamille. He heard the door open and Samus stomped in saying: fuck, shit, and god dammit. She walked into the kitchen and back into the family room and sat down with a Coke in her hands.
"Do you have the cure?!" said Dante.
"No…Ahmed wants me to travel to a planet at the most inconvenient time to get him 25 Cornarian Credits." she said lying back on the couch. "I don't have a ship to use!"
"Aww, Jesus!" said Dante.
"…I do…" said Kamille.
Samus shot up. "You have a ship?"
"It's not mine, but I'm sure you can use it." said Kamille. "It's the Argama; it should be near Earth by now, plus Cornaria isn't too far away."
"How can I contact it?!" asked Samus.
"The Zeta Gundam's long range communication system." he said.
"Teach me how to use it!" she said grabbing Kamille and running outside.
"Hey wait Samus, can you get the remote…" said Dante before the door closed. "…shit…"
Samus jumped up to the cockpit hatch on the Zeta Gundam and got it open. She jumped inside and sat in the pilot chair. Samus looked around at the inside with confusion at the technology. "How the hell does this thing work? It's like a large ball."
"You get use to it after a while when you learn to pilot this thing." said Kamille sitting on her lap and pressing buttons on the main controls. "Come in, Argama! Come in, Argama!"
"Argama here, this is Lieutenant Quattro speaking."
"This is Kamille Bidan, I need you to get to Earth to pick me up." said Kamille.
"Rodger, well be there in ten hours, over and out."
"Ten Hours!?" said Kamille after the connection closed. "The Zeta Gundam can go from here to Cornaria and back within that time!!" Then a though went through Kamille's mind. He turned to Samus. "Samus, you're a pilot right? Take the Zeta Gundam and go to Cornaria!"
"Me fly this thing?" asked Samus.
"Sure!" said Kamille reaching under the seat and pulling out the manual. "It's easy, it takes 25 minutes to learn, plus the controls are all labeled! You want me to return to normal don't you?"
Samus sighed. "…fine." she grabbed the manual. Then she took Kamille back into the house. Samus jumped back into the cockpit and opened the manual. "I just need to know how to fly this thing to one planet and back…"
Kamille sat on the couch and saw Dante with the remote. "You got it down?"
"Nope, Flamdramon did." he said.
Samus looked through the final pages of the manual and put it under the seat. "Okay, this is going to take a lot out of my day, but gets a problem out of the way." Samus started pressing buttons and the sounds of the machine's engine starting up were heard. Then the ball-like cockpit lit up for a full 360 degree view of everything outside of the machine. "I need to get back to being a bounty hunter…" The Zeta Gundam lifted off the ground and transformed into its wave-rider form and lifted off into the sky.
Yuffie watched the large machine lift off. "…Kamille can still use that thing?"
Kamille and Dante sat on the couch watching TV. "So, all's we have to do is sit here and wait for Samus to come back with the way to cure us."
"…what day is it today?" asked Dante.
"Tuesday." said Kamille.
"The what of October?" asked Dante.
"The 16th." said Kamille.
"…my brother's coming here…" said Dante.
Kamille spat out his drink. "Now?!"
"If he sees me like this, he'll leave this house with all of the bones in my body broken!" said Dante. "I need to hide!"
Half way between Earth and Cornaria, Samus checked the map on the forward monitors. "Should be there in a few hours." Then something started beeping. Samus checked the other monitors and saw something approaching her from behind. "Aww, come on!"
"Look a stray mobile suit! Let's try to shoot it down because we're expendable villains that only appear once in this story!" said one of the pursuers.
"Crap, do I have any weapons?" Samus looked into the weapons list on the computer and: Beam Rifle fell under main weapons. "Where's the beam rifle?"
On Earth…
"Look at the size of this gun on the lawn!" said Loz trying to pick it up with Yazoo and Kadaj. "Let's see if it fits in the shed."
In Space…
"Damn…" Then several shot came at her from the enemy mobile suits and she moved away from them. "Is this Ahmed's idea?!"
"Why are we such terrible shots!?" said one of them.
Samus quickly transformed the Zeta and kicked one of them in the head, removing it from the rest of the body. Then she folded the legs back up and made a successful spring kick to the body of the machine.
"What the fuck?!" said one of them before getting hit by the Zeta's grenade launcher causing him to explode.
"Sonova…are we that expendable?!" said the undamaged one. Samus found him and flew at him. Then another one came between her and her target. She flew the Zeta on top of the obstacle and used him as a springboard and caused serious damage to his machine before ramming the shield into the cockpit of the last one. Then she transformed and flew back on course. "Holy shit, we just got PWND!"
Samus looked back at the damage she did. "Why didn't I have one of these when I started my career as a bounty hunter?"
Earth…
"Quick, let's hide in the shed!" said Kamille running to the shed with Dante. Kamille looked up and saw that the shed's lock was beyond their reach. "Crap!" He looked up and saw something sticking out of the roof of it. "Is that the beam rifle?!"
"Let's hide in the booze cellar!" said Dante as they ran back into the house.
Cornaria…
Samus landed the Zeta Gundam on the ground and jumped out. Then she ran into the city. "I can just ask almost anyone here for the money, but I think I know someone here that I can get money from." Samus looked around, and found the person she was looking for. "Fox! Hey, Fox!"
Fox McCloud spun around and saw Samus run up to him. "Samus?"
"Hey, Fox." said Samus.
"Hey, I haven't seen you since Super Smash Bros. Melee." said Fox. "Come to think of it, why did they call it Super Smash Bros. if some of the characters were female…?"
"Don't know, don't care at the moment." said Samus. "I just have 13 hours to get back to earth with $25 worth of your planet's money to change my friends back to normal from a curse!"
"Oh, um, okay." He said. Fox reached into his pocket and pulled out the money. "Here, oh and, remember, Super Smash Bros. Brawl is coming soon."
"Yeah, I know, bye!" she said running off to the Zeta Gundam and flying away.
"I didn't think our money was used on Earth…" said Fox.
On Earth…
Dante and Kamille look around for a place to hide before Judgment Day arrives for them. "We have to hide fast, or Virgil will hack me up into bacon strips!" said Dante. Suddenly a tremor was felt. "What was that?!"
"Felt like something hit the ground!" said Kamille.
"Or…it's the paper boy." said Kadaj.
Kamille looked out the window. "Fuck, it's Lt. Quattro!" he said. "I forgot to call off the Argama's trip!"
"So he's someone you know that's here to kill you?" said Dante.
"He might!" said Kamille. "Quick, the coat closet!" Dante and Kamille opened the closet and ran in before closing it. "Kadaj, think of a diversion!"
"Okay." He said.
Lt. Quattro knocked. "Hello, this is Lt. Quattro, is Kamille here?"
Kadaj opened the door. "Can I help you?"
"Yes miss…"
"I'm a guy…" corrected Kadaj.
"Oh, sorry, umm, is Kamille here?" asked Quattro.
"Yep." he said inviting Quattro in. "I'll go get him."
"Please do." he said standing in the room.
In space…
Samus fell asleep for a while until the alarm went off. "Huh?!" she got up and looked forward. There was a whole fleet of three space ships and nine mobile suits in front of her. "Jesus Christ!"
"Look, it's the thing that killed our buddies, shot it!"
"Oh, so you all want some!?" said Samus, now had enough with everything getting in her way of surviving the day. "Bring it you Sons of bitches!!"
The House…
Quattro stood there for a bit until Veemon walked over to him. "…sup?"
Quattro looked over to him. "Oh, they have a lizard."
"Do I look like a lizard to you?" asked Veemon. Then someone knocked on the door. "I'll get it!" he digivolves into Flamdramon, which freaked Quattro out a first, and answers the door. "Hello?"
"Is Dante here?"
"Yep." said Flamdramon.
"Shit!" said Dante, listening through the door. "What now, Newtype?"
Kamille thought for a second and looked at the coat on the hanger. "Dante, get me on your shoulders."
Virgil walked in and looked around. "Where is Dante?"
"Let me go look for him." he said before walking off.
"Hmm, I wonder where Kamille is…" said Quattro.
"You here for someone too?" said Virgil.
"Yes."
Suddenly, on Dante's shoulders, Kamille walked out of the closet. "Hi, Lieutenant."
"Kamille?" said Quattro.
"So this Kamille is a guy?" said Virgil.
"Hi, um, how are you doing?" said Kamille, trying to keep his balance.
"I'm fine, now, what did you call us for?" asked Quattro.
"Oh, that…umm…" said Kamille trying to think of something.
"Where's Dante, little boy?" said Virgil.
"Umm, I'll go get him." He said. Dante turned around and walked into the other room. "Switch places!" he said.
Quattro folded his arms and tapped his foot. Dante came in on Kamille's shoulders. "Hey, bro!"
"It's that day, Dante." said Virgil grabbing his sword. "Time to die!"
"Hey, can't it wait?" said Dante trying to keep a straight face, knowing that Kamille was the one supporting him. "I'm having fun here."
"Fun's over!" said Virgil.
The Seven Eleven…
Ahmed put a case of Mountain Dew on the table and the tremor of something big hitting the ground made it fall over and some of them bursted open. "Stupid Americans have no respect!" Samus ran in. "Oh, right on time."
Samus grabbed his hand and threw the money in it. "There, now change my friends back!"
"Okay, okay…don't start attacking me with insults." He said walking over to his desk. "And I thought you weren't going to make it."
"I battled a fleet of robots just to get back here!" said Samus. "This cure better work!"
The House…
"See you in hell, Dante!" said Virgil.
"Hey Dante, where's Kamille?" said Kadaj. "And why are you wearing Roxas's coat?"
"Umm, it's comfy?" he said.
"Time to die!" Virgil stuck his sword into the coat where Dante's liver should be. The blade went right past Kamille's face and out the other side of the coat.
Quattro jumped back. "Holy…"
"Ohhhh, you got me!" said Dante even though Virgil missed. "I'm dying! I'm dying!"
"Die faster!" said Virgil stabbing into the coat more. "I feel like I'm stabbing an empty space in your stomach!"
"I am dying fast!" he said. All of the sudden, Virgil's sword was pulled out of his hand and the handle pointed upwards as Dante felt his body grow in size and push the sword blade down.
Kamille crawled out of under Dante and stood up, now at full size. "I'm back to normal!!"
Dante opened the coat and looked at himself. "So am I!"
"What the hell's going on here?" said Quattro.
"Long story." said Kamille. "Oh and, you can leave now, it was a miss call."
Quattro rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses and left the house. Another tremor was felt before Samus ran into the doorway to see the situation. "Good, it worked!" she said pushing Virgil to the side. "Thank god!" she said.
"Hey, who is this?" said Virgil.
"That's Samus, one of the hot girls here." said Dante.
"I'm now going to my room, so that none of you guys fine another reason for me to clean up your messes!" she said stomping up the stairs.
"…I think she's on her period…" said Kamille.
Virgil looked at Dante. "None of what just occurred right now changes the situation!" said Virgil picking up his sword. "You will die!"
Dante takes out a roll of paper. "Hey buddy, here's my will, can you sign it so you get all of my belongings?"
"Gladly!" Virgil put his finger onto the tip of his sword and cut it open. Then he used his blood to write his name down in cursive. "There, once you die, I get everything you own; including your job!"
Dante started laughing like crazy. So was Kamille. "He fell for it!!"
"What's so damn funny?!" said Virgil.
"You gullible bastard!" said Dante. "You didn't sign my will! You just signed the contract to be a member of the Drawn Together house hold!" he said laughing.
"What?!" said Virgil. "What have you done?!"
Kadaj walks over to him. "That means you can die as many times as you want and you will come back to life at the stroke of midnight as long as you live here with us."
Virgil glared at Kadaj. "Do I have to live with you…?" Kadaj nodded. "Well, at lease I can't die and I can kill Dante as much as I want!!" he said raising his sword. He looked to Kadaj. "Can I kill you people too?" Kadaj nodded. "Good!" Virgil turned to his left and saw Tails.
"Hi! I'm Tails." he said. "You want to be best friends with me?"
Virgil decapitated Tails after running his sword through his head. "This is brilliant! Now I can kill the same person off as many times as I wish!"
"Great." said Kamille. "Hey, Snake!" An object on the wall that couldn't be seen turned around to reveal that is was Solid Snake with the same paint as the wall painted on his back. "…how long have you been there?"
"Long enough, what do you want?" he said.
"Who's this weirdo?" said Virgil pointing to him.
"Virgil has become a family member, time for initiation!" said Dante.
"Initiation?" said Virgil. Snake came up behind him, grabbed his mouth, and drove his 16 inch hunting knife into Virgil's back. Then he pulled it out and did it again and again and again and again. Virgil kicked him off and pulled it out of his back. "How dare you defile my coat?!" He turned to Snake and threw his knife right into his chest. But Shake didn't move, he just stood there with his fists on his hips with a big smile on his face.
"What the heck?" said Dante.
Kadaj walked over to Snake and looked to his side. "It's a cardboard cut out of Snake."
"Damn, he's good." said Kamille.
"Well then where is the back stabber?!" said Virgil. "Come out Mr. Disappear!" Then the air vent cover came off and fell on the ground. "What the hell?!"
"Oh, he's in the air vent." said Kamille.
"You win this round, old man." said Virgil. "But as long as I'm here in this house, I shall kill you!"
NEW MEMBER STATS:
Virgil:
Game: Devil May Cry
Age: looks 24
Occupation: None
Description: Dante's demonic, power hungry, twin brother. Dante has already thwarted Virgil's plan to unleash all hell on the world and obtain their father's power. Even since then, Virgil was out for revenge. He came to Dante's house to kill him for what he did, but ended up being tricked into joining the people Dante lives with.
COMING SOON: DAY 6: THE HOLE IN THE BASEMENT