Last Stop
A/N: Wow . . . You guys REALLY wanted that update, didn't you! My bad (Please don't hurt me!) I had midterms . . . which freaked me out. (I'm a Freshman in high school, I never took midterms before o.O) -sigh- Seems I have a little more anxiety than I thought. Plus, during the middle of midterms, my coach was like 'Hey, you can start!' (Start, as in, begin the game. I'm a goaltender.) Gah, I never started with the high school before! So yeah . . . (Seriously, don't kill me, I'll try to make it up to you next chapter!)
On another note, my original idea for this chapter was for Hitomi and Van to go to a restaurant, but as Vi3tbabii KINDLY stated, "Van's too poor for that." XD, so I decided to take her idea instead (though, it doesn't really matter where they go, so much as what they talk about). (Note: I also took her suggestions on clothing; for Hitomi anyway ;).
Vi3tbabii: Did I really say that o.O? Wow... haha. But readers, you must agree, ne?
Spirit0: Meh . . .
Chapter Five: Barrier
It was hard to tell whether or not I looked okay, for I still had not fixed my mirror. As a matter of fact, I'd just cleaned up the broken glass (I wasn't much for cleaning). I glanced down at myself for the fifty millionth time, playing with my collar in the process. There were quite a few wrinkles in my casual dark blue shirt, but I had no iron, and even if I did, I'd probably burn the clothes anyway. I glanced at the clock. It only read seven thirty. With a sigh, I sat down on my couch.
Did I really look okay? A pocket mirror wouldn't have been so bad right about now. Should I brush my hair? Na -- too many tangles, so little time to untangle them all. Should I wear a tie? No, too dressy. I didn't even know where we were going. What did the crazy girl have in mind, anyway! Too many thoughts ran through my head. I needed to do something.
I noticed a speck of blood on the bandage that wrapped my hand. The wound had finally sealed up, but I hadn't changed the bandage since. It was tacky to take a girl out on a date with a blood stained hand, wasn't it? Besides, changing it would keep me occupied for the ten or so minutes I had to spare.
In my bare bedroom, next to my bed, I began to rummage through my drawer, looking for the bandages. Snagging them, I looked up. Atop of the stand sat one lonely, torn and battered picture. Three people -- excluding an infant -- stared back at me. A man with brown eyes and a beard, a pretty, middle-aged woman, who was holding the baby, and a young boy with bluish-green hair.
My mother, father, older brother, and myself. Back when they were still happy. I didn't know any better. Didn't know I would cause them so much trouble. The picture I saw in the mirror ran through my head. No . . .
I slammed the picture face down, fingers trembling. What force possessed me to keep that picture, I never could figure out. There was no point in throwing it away now; I'd already had it for seventeen years. It was amazing it even lasted that long, and not just because of how much I hated the picture . . .
Five minutes elapsed. If I didn't get a move on, I was going to be late. Couldn't make Hitomi wait. Quickly, I rebandaged my hand, grabbed the keys and what money I had, and ran out the door.
oOo
I didn't see Hitomi waiting at the gates, and it was difficult to find a parking spot. Eventually, I squeezed into one about a block away. The moon lit my path as it shone brightly above. The temperature was neither hot nor cold, and there was no wind. Headlights danced about. When was the last time I'd simply walked down a street like this? I couldn't even remember. But now, it felt nice, and I began to wish I did it more often.
Hitomi was standing by the gate by the time I got there. She was wearing a simple white blouse and a green skirt, which brought out her stunning eyes even more. Adorning no makeup and hair let loose as usual, I still felt a blush creep into my cheeks. Was I sick or something? Maybe my collar was too tight. When she noticed me, she started walking towards me.
"Hello, Van!" she greeted more cheerfully then ever.
"H-hey." Oh, now I want to get nervous!
"You look handsome tonight," she commented. "It's odd to see you in regular clothing."
My blush deepened. "Well . . . I don't get out much anyway. I mean, look at these clothes, all wrinkly." I shrugged. "Besides, I'm nothing compared to you."
It was Hitomi's turn to blush. "Oh, be quiet! You don't mean it!"
I stared at her. "I do mean it," I whispered sincerely.
She punched me lightly on the shoulder as we began to walk to the car. "Van!"
I rubbed my shoulder lightly and pouted, as if her measly punch had really hurt. Then I noticed the blanket in her hand. "Hey, where are we going?" I inquired, since I was the one driving, after all.
"The park," she said simply.
"The park? What are we going to do at eight o'clock at night at the park?" I asked incredulously.
"Why, stargaze, of course," she said, like it were the most obvious thing in the world. "The weather is perfect, and the moon is almost full! Haven't you ever been stargazing before, Van?"
I thought of when I was little and how I use to look out my window, staring at the stars with tears, praying. "No," I replied sternly.
Hitomi seemed to shrink from my gruff tone of voice. "You've missed out. It'll be fun. Trust me!" With that, she grabbed my hand, and dragged me (as if she could drag me) along to the car.
"I trust you . . ." I whispered. She didn't hear.
oOo
After grabbing hot dogs and such for dinner at a fast food place, Hitomi and I set out to find the perfect spot to stargaze at the park. Truthfully, any damn place would've been fine with me, but Hitomi would hear none of it. After much trekking, she finally settled for the side of a hill that faced the moon. As she laid the blanket down, I was almost glad she hadn't settled for my earlier, poorer, suggestions.
We laid on the blanket in silence, staring up at the stars in wonder. I had to admit, it was peaceful, just lying on my back, looking at bright little dots in the sky. All the muscles in my body relaxed as I breathed lightly. My fingers stretched out, and, though she was a respective distance away, brushed Hitomi's hand. She made no reaction. I withdrew my hand quickly.
"Isn't it peaceful?" Hitomi asked quietly, shifting her head to face me.
"Yeah . . ." I trailed off. I didn't know what else to say; didn't know what else to do. Instead of making a fool of myself by saying something stupid, I just lay quietly, and didn't meet her shining eyes.
It was as if I could feel her become slightly disheartened by my lack of enthusiasm. Turning again to the sky, she said with a slight, uneasy laugh, "My younger brother and I use to do this all the time. Our parents often got mad at us for staying up late."
"You . . . have a younger brother?" I asked slowly, glancing over at her, pondering where the conversation was going. There was one thing I knew: it wasn't going in a good direction, but I asked anyway. I couldn't find a way around this situation.
A soft smile crossed Hitomi's features as she remembered her brother. "Yes. His name is Mamoru. He's . . . oh, he's got to be sixteen, maybe even seventeen now. A junior in high school. Gets decent grades. He plays the guitar. He and his friends are trying to put together a rock band. That's his dream, I think, to be in a rock band." She sighed.
As she described her younger brother, I thought of my who-knows-where older one. Folken Lacor de Fanel; ten full years older than me, tall, smart, with blue-green hair and dark brown eyes. Teachers loved him, girls swooned over him, everyone adored him. Oh yes, the epitome of a perfect child. My parents loved him deeply.
I hated him. I hated them all.
"Van? Van, are you okay?" Hitomi's worried voice broke my reverie. Startled, my expression was blank for a moment, as I stared into her questioning—and scared—eyes.
"I-I'm okay . . ." I replied slowly, trying to come up with a response. "You're brother sounds like a cool guy."
Hitomi gave a little humph, and rolled her eyes. "You mean super-annoying guy, right? Ever since he became a teenager, he never stops teasing me! And playing really loud music! And . . . ugh!"
The way she said such mean, yet playful, things about her brother alone was priceless, but Hitomi's facial expressions were even better. By the end of her little commentary, I could hear myself chuckling lightly. Me, chuckling? Was that even possible? But I was, I really was.
And it was the greatest feeling I'd had in a long, long while.
Hitomi stared at me incredulously; wide-eyed, amazed, speechless. I instantly stopped my childish giggling out of fear that she thought I was laughing at her. But as soon as I stopped, she gave me an awkward, yet still soft, smile. And before I could question or react, I was holding her in my arms, with her head in the crook of my neck.
"That's the first time I ever saw you smile . . ." she whispered softly into my chest.
I blushed so deeply that my face just had to be brighter than any star could be. But I held onto her, and smiled slightly again. We didn't move from that position for a good half hour or more.
oOo
Later, when we were driving home, Hitomi started up our conversation about family again. Only this time, I was supposed to be the one talking. It was the thing I had dreaded from the moment the word 'brother' had crossed her lips.
"Do you have any siblings, Van?"
I glanced at her warily, becoming slightly fidgety. After a decent enough pause, I decided not to lie my way out of this question. "Yes."
"Really?" Hitomi asked with childish curiosity. My heart fell. "Brother? Sister? Younger? Older? Come on, tell me. You can't keep a secret from me."
Oh, yes, I can I thought. "Older brother," I said without feeling, cold, distant. My brain was sending out warning signals to the security system of an impending attack. A steel door was raised between the girl next to me and my heart.
She seemed to notice my change of attitude, but as usual, pretended to be ignorant of it. "Is he nice, handsome, smart, annoying, what?"
Taking my eyes off the road as we slowed at a red light, I stared hard at her. Hitomi's eyes were no less hard. I replied with a carefully picked answer. "I don't know."
Hitomi seemed confused. I suppose I would've been too, if someone had said that to me (and if I hadn't been raised under the circumstances). But, to my agitation, there was just no stopping this girl. "What do you mean . . . you don't know?"
"Haven't seen him in years," I said flatly, beginning to drive again. That, in retrospect, was not a lie. I told her I had a brother. I told her he was older. I told her I didn't know what he was like because I hadn't seen him in years. Those were all true. But I would not, even if she asked, tell her why. After all, he was dead to me.
Now I expected Hitomi to ask exactly why I hadn't seen Folken in years. Yet instead, she asked, "May I see where you live?"
Stunned, my eyes widened as I looked at her in surprise. "Where I live? My apartment?"
"Yes."
Without thinking it through, I said with shrug, and a little embarrassment, "I suppose, but what would you want to see my raggedy apartment for?"
Me and my stupid questions . . .
oOo
By the time we reached my apartment, a permanent blush adorned my cheeks. The rest of the ride home, Hitomi'd talked about her mother, father, her friends, and even a little more about her brother. They all sounded wonderful, and I couldn't help giving her a light smile again. Hitomi seemed to love my smile. What was so great about it? I certainly didn't have the enigmatic, warm smile she had.
The real embarrassment came, though, when we entered my apartment building. It wasn't a very high building, but it still had a good fifteen floors. My apartment was on the eleventh floor. So, we had to walk through the crowds of people in the lobby and hop on the elevator to reach my room. True, I never really got to know anyone, yet they all stared at Hitomi and I. Some even gave sly smiles, and one guy even gave me the thumbs up when Hitomi wasn't looking. I felt like I could die from overheating.
"Sorry for the mess . . ." I said quietly, picking a random piece of paper up from the floor, crumpling it, and then throwing it away. Hitomi didn't pay attention. She silently observed my living conditions. They weren't much. A small living room that was also a dining room, connected to the kitchen, with a skinny hallway, which had a closet, leading to the one room. The bathroom was connected to the bedroom and the hallway.
Furniture was sparse. In the living room, there was a couch with a coffee table and a small television on a stand. Behind that, the part I considered the dining room, was a table that could accommodate two people comfortably. The kitchen had all the normal things- a sink, a stove, a refrigerator, and most importantly, a microwave. I didn't have a dishwasher. What little dishes I had, I managed to wash by hand.
Hitomi walked towards the television. Beyond it was about the only thing that, perhaps, gave me any character. Along the wall, up to my eye level, was a bookshelf that I'd put together myself (as if I'd go out and buy a bookshelf). The shelves were packed with books of all kinds-- from comic to horror, action to adventure, and even sappy drama to even sappier romance. I had so many books, they didn't even fit on all those shelves.
"You like to read?" Hitomi asked as she looked over at where I still stood by the door.
"Yeah," I replied, plopping down on my couch. This was uncomfortable. "Um . . . do you want to watch some t.v.?"
"Sure," Hitomi replied. I was about to sigh in relief when she continued, "Right after I see the rest of your apartment."
"What?" I said, jumping up to follow her into my bedroom. "But . . . there is nothing left to see!"
"Says you," she replied with a playful smile. What the hell was she looking for! I was at a loss for words.
Sometimes I wondered which was worse-- my living room or my own bedroom. Or perhaps they were equal in their dullness. My bedroom had only three pieces of furniture-- a bed, a bed stand with a reading lamp, and a dresser. The dresser was obviously to store my clothes, the bed obviously for sleeping, and the bed stand to hold the reading lamp. But she noticed one thing instantly-- the picture.
Hitomi walked over to my dresser and gently picked up the picture. Something inside of me wanted to scream No, that's mine! MINE! But I couldn't. My feet were glued just inside the doorway. So all I could do was watch her as her finger gingerly traced the frame. As she scrutinized the picture, I don't think I'd ever seen her look so serious.
"Is this your family?" she asked quietly, looking hard at me again.
"Yeah . . ."
"It's kind of old, don't you think?" she interrupted.
"Yeah," I was starting to sound like a broken record.
"Is that your brother?"
"Yes."
"And your parents?"
"Yes, okay, yes!" I snapped, my breath becoming labored. Hitomi gave me a startled look. Instant regret swept over me. "I mean . . ." I began quietly, looking down at the floor. "I . . . mean . . ."
Yet again I was wrapped up in her embrace. Though comforting, these hugs were still awkward. And I still didn't know what to say. And I still didn't know what to do. I was so . . . confused.
"You shouldn't keep all your feelings inside, you know," she whispered into my chest. "You can tell someone. You can tell me what's wrong."
I said nothing.
"I remember, that first day we met," she continued in a mollifying voice. "You were so distant and cold. A person couldn't even hold a conversation with you. But I could see in your eyes, and your body language, that deep down you wanted to be nice. And now look, I can hold a conversation with you, you're nice, and you smiled."
I leaned into her.
"And you know what?" she whispered directly into my ear. "Your smile is beautiful, even if you try to deny it, it really is."
After a few moments of silence, I broke our embrace. With my apparently "beautiful" smile (which I still thought had to be a crock). Perhaps one day I would open up to her, but not just yet. Instead, I said, "It's getting late . . . I'll take you back to your dorm."
The ride to Hitomi's dorm actually wasn't that bad. We went back to having more pleasant conversations. She even purposefully avoided discussion about family, much to my relief. More awkward silence came, though, when we actually reached the dorm.
We were standing outside the gate, saying good night-- or, at least, trying to say good night. I was finding it a little hard to get those words out. Mainly because a small voice inside of me kept telling me to kiss her . . .
"Well, it was fun," Hitomi said as I released her hand. Since when had we been holding hands?
"Yeah, it was fun," again with the "yeah"!
She gave me a peck on the cheek. "You'll tell me one day soon, right?"
"Perhaps," was all I could say.
Hitomi gave me a reassuring smile as she turned. "Oh, you'll tell me."
"Is that a threat?" I scoffed.
"Nighty-night, Van," she said without saying if it was a threat or not.
"'Night . . ."
Damn, I should have kissed her.
To Be Continued
A/N: Yes, bwhaha, thanks to the snow, I finally finished it! Yay! -people boo- Feh. This chapter feels a little . . . rushed. But it was getting repetitive. Don't you all just want Van to get over it already? Well, the moment you've all been waiting for comes next chapter! Though, not as you may expect. And it's sad for me to think that next chapter marks more than halfway through the entire fic -sobs-.
Vi3tbabi: Wow… that was such an uber cute chapter! So much fluffiness! Spirit0's writing keeps getting better and better! Don't you agree, readers? (I love snow…)
Spirit0: Why cute! Someone tell me why!
Review Replies-
Carrie21- Hehe, yes, Van really is such a sweet guy. That's why I love him so much -huggles Vanny boy-. Hm . . . Yeah, I suppose getting one person out of billions of people is a nice feeling. Sorry, it's my pessimistic side talking. It's odd, I never thought I'd be good at writing a fic that had no "evil guy" or "villian". But this is pretty fun :). Sorry, their date kinda turned dark there, ne? And uber sorry for the wait! Thanks!
Grrl N- Hehe -scratches head sheepishly- Yeah well, you probably won't be seeing Allen again. I only needed him for his sudden, -cough- unwanted, appearance. But perhaps he will (though, it'd still be random and sudden). Ha , Hana is so cool (is it right for the author to say that?) I never planned for her to play such a big role on Van's life. But she has, and will continue to. Anyways, sorry for the wait and thanks!
Tramie- Oh, so Allen twisted Van's ankle, pish. Damn, I should have made Van do something really really painful to Allen. Aw well. Hehe, this chapter felt odd, with no bus, orphanage, or Hana to write about! But of course, those things will come back next chapter, with the drastic twist everyone (well, okay, maybe not everyone) is waiting for! Except I might be awhile writing that chapter too. Well, anyway, thanks for the review and sorry for the wait.
Avelyn Lauren- Hm... I'm willing to take any suggestions on a story Van should tell the kids at the orphanage. I'm not good at that sorta stuff. Little kids are not my fortee! (-thinks- So where did Hana come from! o.O) Haha, yes, I always wanted to write a scene where Van just took it all to Allen. -evil laugh- And now I have. My life is complete (well, not really, there's still the college and job thing, and hockey too, heheh) Thank you for the review and super sorry for the wait.
Inda- Oops, that definitely wasn't soon! (When WAS the last time I updated?) -sheepish- Sorry for the long wait and thanks!
f-zelda- Did I answer your questions on Hitomi's life? Don't worry, there will be more on her life later! And as for Hana, that will come later too! But for right now, Hana remains a sort of leaning rock for Van. (A six year old helping out a twenty five year old, heh, that's just so great . . .) But thanks for the review and sorry for the waiting!
Nyeren- I feel bad. Really, I meant to update sooner -sobs-. Stupid school wasn't letting me! And then . . . I dunno, other stuff. But I enjoyed the review anyway. And pointless Van and Hitomi ickiness is bad. I try to make my stories meaningful (note the word try). Though sometimes, it's a little hard on my small brain, heh. Oh well, thanks and really really sorry about the wait (I'll try to do better next time!).
PetiteCarnatla- Aw, perfect? Can anything be truly perfect? -shrugs- I'm not so sure. But don't cry! It's not suppose to be sad yet! I mean . . . uh . . . ignore the word 'yet', hehe. And I think my muse ran away for a while there . . . Actually, no, it didn't, it created two new story ideas instead of working on the ones I'm already writing. -sigh- I would write those stories, except . . . Then I'd never find the time to update, haha. Anyway, thanks and sorry for the wait. (P.S. I think that's how you spell 'jealousness', hehe)
Athanase- Ahhhhhhhh, I failed the puppy eyes! -sobs- I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's not my fault (then who's fault is it?)! But anyways, I feel much distain for 'Barbie' (as my friend affectionately calls Allen :P) as well. Hm... guess their Saturday night didn't go as planned, ne? But will it lead to more Saturday nights together? o.O Only I know the answer -evil laugh-. Hehe, sorry, just playing and thanks!
Cloud Fallen Angel- Ehe, I've really gotta figure out this 'cute' thing, haha. But yeah, sorry for the wait and thank you for the review!
Lady Snow Blood- Thanks for the encouraging words and sorry for the longer than expected wait!
jossi-31- Hehe, thank you!
kairi-heartilly- I tried, I really tried to update soon. But it didn't work -sobs-. Sorry and thanks for the review!
Cherry Dragon- Haha, what's a story without some comedy thrown in? (though I'm usually not good at it -sheepish grin-) I tried to add some in this chapter too, but it was harder because of all the seriousness floating around. But anyways, thanks for the review and sorry for the wait!
C.G Forever is Now- That's a powerful word, hehe. Thanks!
dreamingofflyingaway- Haha, I've fallen behind in participation again. But at least this time I have better grades in general to back it up. And there has really been no reason for me to participate, you know? And dang, 27 chapters? Hehe, I can barely make ten chapters sometimes, lol. Thanks for the review and sorry for the torture of waiting!
laloner- Mehe, I definitely fail in the 'update soon' department. Lol, but thanks and sorry!
Anime Monkey- Haha, that was a good rhyme. It made me laugh XD. Thanks and sorry for the long wait!
Flaire321- Yay, you used the adjective 'cool' instead of 'cute' or something else that is like cute! Hehe, sorry, just had to say it! Thanks!
Lady Luna- . . . -scared- Or else? Waaaaaaaaah, I so suck at updating! Forgive me! But thanks for the review!
annie- Heh, I have a thing against cliches. I try to avoid them at all costs! Thanks for the review and sorry for the lack of an update!
Sakura onto Hitomi- Sweet things! -munches- Really . . . gotta stop eatting this stuff. -has a bad diet- Oh well. Van's personality will get deeper and deeper until it explodes (in a sense, lol). And I have come to love Hana even though I never planned for her to have such a big role. Thanks!
The lady winged knight- Aw, stupid not letting you sign in? It's okay, I know who 'tis! Yay, I made the chapter funny! -Accomplishment- And computers suck. Grrrrrr, whoever invented computers should burn in hell. Computers will take over the world! -cough- Uh . . . yeah, hehe. Thanks and sorry for the wait!
Dalafanole- Hehe, I like Van and Hitomi's random hugs. It keeps you on your toes. Thanks and sorry for the long wait!
Strawberryz- Lol, I try to keep Van's character the same. Okay, I try to keep everyones character the same except Hitomi's ('cause she really annoys me!) Hehe, sorry for the wait and thanks for the review!
persuna- Updated! (FINALLY, ne? Lol) Thanks!
ROTTENAPPLES- And do you still like where this story is going? Hehe, thanks and sorry for the long wait!
-neck has a kink- To I go . . . Hehe.
Oh yes, I'll be updating my other story, "When Doves Cry", first next time (and I will refrain from writing two new fanfics!)
-Spirit0